//------------------------------// // From Bad To Worse: Relaxed // Story: Imbalanced // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// [Choking's Entry] Despite everything that's happened it seems that I'm going to have a bit of peace and quiet after all. Alright, time to let everything go and relax. [End Entry] I step back in shock and my rump hits the door which closed by itself behind me and Void. I get ready to... what? Attacking the princess would not help anything and running seems impossible so I just wait, prepared to seize whatever opportunity presents itself. To my left, Void begins focusing and gets ready to react as well. "There is no need for that, we are here just to talk... for now," says Luna but the threatening atmosphere remains. Luna sighs, points at Void and drops the official Canterlot voice. "Scream asked me to keep an eye on you. Why do you think you haven't been found out yet when her scrying protection disappeared quite a while ago?" Unsure what to do, Void relaxes as well. "I did not know that, this body is not really good with magic." "Oh right... the guard," Luna turns to me, "I didn't have a chance to say how sorry I was." Hearing the regret in Luna's voice makes me reconsider the desire to choke her on the spot regardless the consequences. "I really want him to be here right now." Luna will find no indication of anything other than the truth in those words. "You were close?" "Not really, he doesn't let anypony get too close to him but I am probably the closest you can get." Void kicks my hind leg but Luna is sharp enough and sighs. I kinda forgot about the past tense. "My sister doesn't know where you are and until I'm certain what I can expect I prefer it to stay that way so why don't you just tell me everything." "The orbital velocity of the moon is-" begins Void. "Yes, yes. I asked for that, didn't I? After your appearance, Twilight identified the spell that brought you here so why don't you start with what happened at the Nightmare Night festival. Don't leave out a single detail, this is not just about you two." "What do you mean?" "The fake Twilight Sparkle is now sitting in the throne room imprisoned by my sister. The real one is on her way from Ponyville to interrogate her and find out what sort of threat she is." Void facehoofs. "You left her unguarded inside the castle?" "Celestia should be back shortly after leaving to look for you and there are guards all around the throne room." "I saw her power through Blazing's eyes and you have made a terrible mistake. Not even Celestia's barrier will hold her without its creator around." "I think you're overreacting." "Who has got the most knowledge of magic in these parts?" "Scream and I." "Knowledge, not power or skill." Luna rolls her eyes. "Fine... you." "So believe me when I say you have to go back as fast as possible." "No," Luna stomps the floor, "your allegiance is not yet clear. Explain everything and then I shall decide what to do next!" "You stubborn mule-" I nudge Void and when he turns to me I gently knock on his head, a sign Blaze used to do whenever I was being stupid. "The faster we get through this the sooner we can deal with whatever you think is going on," I say. It's enough for him and I go get some bandages for my wounds and cream for countless bruises from my unfortunate habit of being slammed into walls and floors. When I get back, Void begins recounting the situation and I chip in whenever there is something only I know while massaging my sore spots. The night creeps in when we finish and our story leaves Luna deeply in thought. "So what are you going to do with us, princess?" I ask. "Nothing yet but you'd do best to lie low for a while. Celestia knows you are still in Canterlot and will not hesitate to deal with you harshly. The only reason she didn't order the city searched is because she doesn't want panic in Canterlot and has no idea how much power you actually have. To be honest, she is afraid." "I do not mean to repeat the past," says Void meekly. "I truly hope so," replies Luna with a sigh, "but there is nothing we can do about it right now so have a rest. I will go back and see what can be done about fake Twilight." "She is not fake, she is Twilight from the other side and from what I have seen she is powerful enough to make you and Celestia sweat." "How is that possible?" "I do not know as I cannot see through the dimensional veil. Just be careful, I am kind of glad to have seen you again, kid." Luna looks hard at Void for a second and then gets up to leave. "I'm not a 'kid' anymore, Void. I don't have the luxury to play games and I have to protect my subjects from danger so if you eventually prove to be a bother I will not hesitate to seal you away forever myself." She doesn't bother leaving through the door and just disappears in a flash of darkness. I let out a long sigh of relief. "That was scary." "Have you never guarded Luna before?" "I have but she was never pissed at me." "She was not angry, just unsure what to do. Honestly, I would be too in her situation." "Well, I know what to do." "Oh? What is your masterful plan then?" "Dinner, bath, massage, sleep." "Are you sure you are not overthinking things?" "Bite me. Just for that, I won't ask you to join me in the tub." "Wha?" Void physically jumps. I just wave him off. "Just kidding, shoo! Off to the kitchen with you, make something nice and I'll be waiting for you in the bathroom." "Whaaa?" "Blaze was actually pretty skilled in the massage department for a self-taught guy, I wonder if you can top it." "Whaaaaaa?" "And I have something I've wanted to try for a while. Hmmm... now where is the oil," I scratch my head and trot off happily to the bathroom from where the sound of flowing water can be heard shortly after. I'm pretty sure I can repay Void for all his help. I mean the Tartarus thing is also something I'm somehow helping with but I intend to make myself useful in one way I'm sure about. I dig out a set of scented candles and spread them around the bathroom, dim the lights and lower myself into the filling bathtub. Scream or no Scream, his eyes will fall out of their sockets when he comes. I might have overestimated my chances but he still eats every athletic curve of my body when he opens the door. "Care to join me?" I ask, trying to sound as seductive as possible. Ancient or not, there are some things all surprised stallions have in common. "Who, me?" With that the atmosphere is instantly broken by my burst of laughter. "Yea, c'mon. I mean I would ask Luna as well but the tub isn't big enough. It's just a bath and I swear I won't bite." "Alright but give me a second, there is something in the kitchen that I cannot just leave there." Knowing the pleasure of his cooking, I don't press the issue. He comes pretty soon after I relax in the tub and slips in as well. It's time for my performance. I hug him from behind, begin rubbing my body against his and grin as I hear his breathing speed up. I pick up a shampoo bottle and spill the contents on myself before resuming the treatment. "Now for the fun part." "I am definitely enjoying myself already," says Void with absolute conviction, the time he spent in Tartarus must have been way too long. "You only think that, now turn around and relax." "If I relax more I think I am going to melt." "You're gonna be hard in the right places," I tease. He breathes out slowly as I slip over his body in a cloud of bubbles and make his Scepter Of Domination reveal itself. I keep grinding but the desire for happy ending proved by his body is unanswered because I eventually shift my focus towards his mane and tail. Thankfully, he takes it in stride and with his physical excitement fading I feel his hooves gently massage my body and I guide him towards more intimate parts. Much like my efforts, his hooves stop just as I begin shivering and focus their attention elsewhere. I guess I deserved that. "Damn you're really good," I give him ten out of ten for effort. "I have had the best trainer." The reminder that my current companion spent considerable time with the alicorn of Lust is enough to make me smile knowingly. I tried to train some of my previous coltfriends but I've never found one pliant enough. Once again, Blaze comes to mind. Perhaps Void was right in saying I should have tried to do things with him? "Mmmm, if I didn't have bruises on my bruises I would be humping your bones right here on the spot," I mumble. "I doubt that," smiles Void, helps me out of the tub, throws the closest towel over my head and then levitates one himself. Apparently despite being in Tartarus for what seems like forever, his old marefriend could build mental and physical endurance enough to survive any temptation, not to mention outshine the performance of any mare. Dry and suddenly hungry like a shark smelling blood, I'm already sitting at the table when Void brings out a tray of food I've never seen before. "Holy cow, that's some gourmet stuff," I whistle at the sight of what seems to be two halves of bread filled with pea soup with cheese and fried bread crumbs. "Not really. It is just something ponies in eastern parts of Equestria enjoy. It is actually more a peasant food than something special." "Mhmfrsting," I gulp down the contents of my spoon. "You can eat it by drinking the soup and biting off parts of the bread it is in." I experiment and almost choke when I bite off too much bread and the soup spills a bit. The second attempt is more successful though. "You'd be an awesome chef if you tried." "I had to learn fast since Scream was capable of burning juice when she tried to make breakfast for the first and last time." "That doesn't seem physically possible." "A magic-user with short temper does not exactly fit the term 'physically possible'." "Whoa, living with her doesn't sound so good from all the things you've said." "It had its perks," says Void and looks at the ceiling. I grin and hope somepony's ever said something like that about me. "Stallions..." "Hey! Do you know how hard is to think straight when you grow a fifth leg whenever Scream is around?" tries Void to defend himself without any effect. "I dunno, don't think I woulda stayed in a relationship just for sex." "It is nothing of that sort, I love her no matter her flaws." "Awww, love spanning thousands of years. How cute!" "I am not sure that 'cute' is a good term for anything what avatars of death and lust can do." "Don't be so obsessed about what you are and just remember who you are." "Wise words, is my presence here having an effect?" "I gotta admit it is but most of the time I'm just thinking about what to tell Blaze when I see him again." "And you keep telling me you do not know what you feel towards him." "It's cause I don't know, it's different from anypony else." "Reeeeeeally..." "Pfff. I usually just want somepony for late night fun but I just can't even imagine Blaze here." "Even after seeing his rubber elephant trunk?" "Yea and there's that as well. I don't think he's into mares at all and even his father called him a gay... something." "Things are not always as they seem." "What do you mean?" "I mean that this is something that you two should talk about, not the two of us. Or even better - go visit a suspicious leather goods shop, browse their collection and then grab Blazing Light by his ears and do not take 'no' for an answer. Some ponies just need a bit more straightforward and forceful approach." "You know what? I will and at least I'll find out whether there is something in all your 'infinite wisdom'." "Just let me talk Scream before that, we might join in." "What can we, simple ponies, do to spice up your relationship?" I ask with good-willed sarcasm. "After all this time? Scream gets truly aroused only when I jump on the couch first while wearing an antique griffon army helmet and recite zebra poetry in their native language. Of course I must never forget to shout 'FIRE IN ZE HOLE!' when jumping down otherwise the whole mood is ruined." "That has to be a joke, right?" "..." "Right?" "Let that remain a secret for now." With that the dinner is over and I relax on the couch and try to ward off the incoming sleep. Slowly failing, I feel Void pick me up and carry me to bed where the warmth seeping from my stomach shuts me down completely.