//------------------------------// // Chapter 35: Daring Do // Story: The Cassandra Chronicles // by CassandraMyOCisBestpony //------------------------------// A/N: We here at The Cassandra Chronicles take continuity very seriously. Any continuity errors you may find are the product of your imagination Cassandra was on vacation in the tropics. As a consequence of being a well-written and deep individual, she had recently gone through character development. She now trusted Twilight and her friends to be competent enough to take care of themselves for a week. They pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and endured, and at first everything was going well, but some unexpected bad news threatened to topple the uneasy tranquility. Twilight was reading on the library when Rainbow Dash burst in in a loud and catatonic state. "The new Daring Do book's been pushed back" whined Rainbow Dash. "Can you believe it Twilight??? I have to wait three months! Do you have any idea what that's like?" Twilight looked up from her copy of A Dance With Dragons, "Not a clue," she said sarcastically. "Well," continued Rainbow Dash, "as a paying customer of AK Yearling..." "Don't you borrow all the books from the library?" cut in Twilight. "...I deserve a personal explanation from the author. Twilight, you're the princess, use your royal powers to find her address." "Slow down a minute, Rainbow," said Twilight, "AK Yearling probably wants to be left alone and to not have to deal with annoying fans." “That’s horseapples! How could somepony not want to spend every waking moment with their fans?" "Rainbow Dash!" said Scootaloo, "did I ever tell you how awesome you are?" "GO AWAY KID, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?!!! Geez! Now anyways, Twilight, dox AK Yearling, chop chop!" Twilight, being as she was easily swayed by peer pressure, finally gave in. [br] "Well, here we are" said Twilight. The six ponies stood outside a shack in the middle of a desolate forest. “Nopony home?” said Rainbow, letting herself into AK’s house. She found an old dusty typewriter in the corner, “Maybe if I put this in plain view she’ll have more motivation to write.” “Oh that’s just for show, I store all my documents in the cloud.” They all turned to see that AK Yearling herself had just entered the room “When’s the next book coming out?” demanded Rainbow Dash. "What my friend means to say” interjected Twilight, “is that we came here to check that you weren't hurt or sick. Though come to think of it, none of us are really equipped to help you if you were.” “But you’re looking in peak physical condition to start writing, so my recommendation is…” "Look, is this going in the direction of Stephen King's Misery?" asked Daring impatiently. "Ah couldn't say, ah haven't read it" said Applejack to the surprise of nopony. Suddenly three thugs burst in through the door. "Nya see, give us the ring, see!" said the thug with the question mark & exclamation point cutie mark. "Interro-BANG!!!" quipped Yearling, as she socked him in the jaw. The thugs looked at her quizzically. "I'm a writer, remember?" she explained. The Mane 6 would've helped but without Cassandra to inspire confidence, they were paralyzed with fear. As Yearling fought, her clothes progressively fell off. Twilight couldn't help but think that this would be really hot in some other universe. Rainbow Dash noticed something unusual about Yearling's appearance, "Yellow coat, black & white hair, compass cutie mark,,," "You've figured me out," said Yearling defeatedly, "Daring Do is..." "A self insert Mary Sue OC!". finished Rainbow Dash, "Shame on you! those are the absolute worst kinds of stories you could make! No wonder you were so secretive about your identity." "I prefer to think of it as an unauthorized autobiography” "Whoa! So Ahuizotl and everything is real?" asked Twilight "That's right, everything." "So when Daring Do's sweetheart Mare-ian got killed off in Book 3...?" "Everything." "That's depressing." The thugs got away with the ring, leaving Yearling alone with the 6 least effective members of the Mane 7 "We can help get the ring back," said Rainbow Dash, "let us come with you." "Ok, but I must warn you, it will be fraught with perils, like dark forests, impolite griffons, and leaping across narrow chasms." "Wow, this adventuring stuff is on a whole nother level from anything I've done" gushed Rainbow Dash." They went to the bad guys' camp. "I'd like to buy the ring back." Said Daring, dropping a huge sack of bits down, "i'll match Ahuizotl's price- all you care about is money, right? So it shouldn't matter whom it comes from. And if Ahuizotl destroys pony civilization, fiat currency will almost certainly collapse, and your bits will be worthless." "But I hate you" objected Dr. Caballeron "That's the best part. If it ends here, this'll make for a terrible story. The books will never sell!" "I am a supervillain, how logical do you expect me to be?" "Well, you'd have to be pretty logical to complete a doctorate, so..." Just then, Ahuizotl attacked and surrounded Daring do with his army of felines. She tried to fight them off, but she was outnumbered. Daring Do's hat rolled over to Rainbow's feet, and Rainbow had an important decision to make, should she help fight off the tigers, or bring Daring Do her hat? "Daring Do!" She cried out to the surrounded pony, "everything's going to be fine! I got your hat!" This distracted Daring Do, allowing Ahuizotl to capture her. "We have to save her!" said Rainbow Dash. Rainbow emerged at the chamber where Daring Do was being held captive, her legs all chained to the wall "Oh, it's you" grunted Daring, "you've been such a BIG help." "Hey don't dis me, I brought you your hat, didn't I?" Daring's stoic disposition suddenly faded, "Y-you brought me my hat?" She asked apprehensively, "oh Rainbow Dash, thank you!!! You see without my hat, I lose all my powers!" Her face went flush, "I don't know how I could ever thank you for bringing me my hat, except..." she shifted her eyes away from Rainbow Dash, and breathing heavily, spread her legs as wide as the chains would allow. "Take me, Rainbow Dash! Take me now! Use me, and my body! *ah!*. Please! You have to! Rainbow Daaaaash!~" Rainbow Dash began sweating profusely, her heart beating like a drum. "Daring, I-I, wow, do you mean it?" "NO, of course not! It's a goddamn hat!!!" lashed Daring Do, suddenly back to normal, "I got it at a museum gift shop for Celestia's sake! I couldn't care less if I lost it!" Her anger turned to derisive laughter, "but you should've seen the look on your face! You actually thought you were going to get laid by Daring Do! That.... Bahahahaha!!! A hat that gives me superpowers? You wound me Dash, to imply that my books would feature such a tawdry cliché, heheheh. Now give me some real help and get me out of these shackles." Rainbow got Daring out of the shackles and they proceeded to the main chamber, where they saw Ahuizotll and his tigers. While the other ponies fought them off, Rainbow and Daring started removing the rings from the altar. "They're getting heavy," complained Dash. "You can both flap you know." The two looked up at the new voice who had just entered. "Cassandra!" They both exclaimed. "Just in time I see. Now let me give you a hand with those." Her level 99 strength made it easy to remove the rings. "Noooooo! My plan is defeated!" cried Azuthiol, "I'll get you next time Daring Do!" The temple began to crumble, so they all quickly rushed for the exit. Outside, Daring Do said to Cassandra, "we don't get to see each other that often," she batted her eyelashes, "what say we make our time together extra special?" "Ooh you sly dog" said Cassandra. "You know, I think we should bring a third pony into the equation" suggested Daring, "a pegasus perhaps?" " A pegasus who's brave and strong," added Cassandra. "And fast" "And, dare I say it, could be one of the greatest Wonderbolts of all time?" "You thinking who I'm thinking?" On the ground, Rainbow dash could barely contain her feelings of flattery and adulation, "ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, this is gonna be so awe-" "Spitfire!" said Cassandra and Daring. They flew off to Cloudsdale, where Cassandra gave Spitfire and Do the best night of their lives "It's too bad that Applejack died in the temple collapse." said Twilight. It was three months later and Daring had just released her newest book. "Is it though?" said Daring, "my books have been selling like hotcakes, and all the critics said they loved the ending."