"So, wait, you've never meditated before?"
I cracked an eye and glared at my mint-green mentor. This was my first training session with Lyra. I'd requested her tutelage yesterday, after Rarity made sure I was properly groomed, and we'd agreed to meet this morning. Since I was restricted to the town until the rumors were dealt with, I decided to make some use of my time.
"Never. Your interruptions aren't helping, Sensei."
"Fine, I decree we're taking a break. Why do you keep calling me that?"
"Mysterious martial arts instructors should always be called Sensei. This is common knowledge where I come from. Would you prefer a different title?" I stretched, and yawned. So far, all I'd gotten out of meditation practice was a rest for my eyes.
We were at Sweet Drops, where Lyra and Bon-Bon lived. There was plenty of space upstairs for two bedrooms and two sitting rooms, so Lyra had turned her sitting room into a studio of sorts. Most of it was a bare hardwood floor, with a few pony-shaped exercise aides scattered around. Skylights gave bright light, and large mirrors on most of the walls made it seem even bigger. I liked it. It smelled warm and relaxing.
"Just, don't call me Sensei. So! Common knowledge where you're from... tell me about that." I frowned.
"Um." I thought back on detailing the whole story to the Elements, and how confusing it had been for just those six. I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't sure if the unvarnished truth was a good idea, either. "It's not that important."
"Nonsense!" Lyra bounced to her hooves, and paced a circle around me. "You're obviously from a long way off! You've got to be an omnivore, with those teeth. And a whole bipedal culture? It must be fascinating! Anyways, I need to know more about you. The fact you've never practiced meditation means you weren't raised as a unicorn, but I should have expected that. You're just so different. I want to know where you came from, so I can know more about how you think. I need to know how you learned to fight, so I can evaluate what habits to keep, and what to train out of you. As your teacher, I'm responsible for molding you into an effective and beautiful martial artist. How can I do that if I don't know anything about you?"
I sighed. She had some good points. At the very least, I'd better tell her about the ordeal I'd gone through with the changelings. But this session was starting to drag on, and I'd promised to meet Rarity for morning tea and a discussion of my social life, such as it was.
"Well, you make a lot of sense." I stood, and stretched. "How about this; I'll tell you everything about how I learned to fight. I'll tell you what I can about where I grew up, but there's going to be bits I need to skate around, or dumb down, or just plain leave out. Is that Ok?" She hesitated, so I continued. 'Listen, some of what's going on with me is related to the Elements. I don't know if it's actually restricted information, but....are you sure you want to be involved in that?"
"Yes!" She started bouncing enthusiastically. "I do, I do!"
"Oh." I face-palmed. That backfired. "Um. Listen, Lyra. Let's start with my...training." I smiled bitterly. Seeing my expression, Lyra stopped bouncing, and leaned her ears back. "It's not really a pleasant story, but my therapist says talking helps."
"O-oh. Ok."
"Anyways, I'm meeting Rarity for tea. I'm supposed to be more 'social'." I made air-quotes with my fingers. Lyra whipped out a notebook, and jotted something down. I blinked, but ignored it. "Want to come? We can talk at the cafe, and order before she gets there so she can't pay for our food."
"Sure!"
"...and we collapsed the portal." I ended my story, describing our escape from the Crystal Kingdom. I'd skimmed over the soul-bonding stuff; I had no idea how educated Lyra was magically, but numancy was technically a crime. Besides, part of that secret belonged to Twilight. As I'd related my story, Lyra's eyes had grown progressively wider, and her ears progressively lower. Looking up, I found her staring at me in blank shock.
"I'm so sorry!" she said, leaping up to throw her forelegs around my neck.
"Isn't your fault," I mumbled. I gingerly returned her embrace. "I'm trying to work past it."
"No, but-" She released me and returned to her teacup. "It must hurt."
"Less each day." I smiled. "Anyways, that's how I learned to fight. That's why I'm...a bit of a berserker. I don't know if you still think you can help, but that's what you're working with."
"Hmm." Her face grew serious, eyebrows furrowing. "No wonder. You've been motivating yourself with fear and anger. Thats...not a good idea. Those feelings can help in the short term, but you'll find yourself becoming what you hate if you go too far." I raised an eyebrow; she didn't notice. "This makes meditation even more important. We'll be re-working your emotional habits." She looked up. "Wesley, in order to fully combat this, we're going to need to start sparring at some point. If you can't deal with that...I don't think you'll ever fight confidently." I nodded slowly.
"Well Jedi, I'll deal when we come to that. But if you're sure it will help, I'll give it a shot."
"Jedi?" She crinkled her brow, puzzled.
"Instead of Sensei. Jedi are warriors of great renown, who fight hatred and cruelty in all things." Her eyes narrowed slightly.
"I feel you're teasing me. But it is better, so Ok."
"Rarity!" I waved to the fashionista as she appeared around the corner. We were in the open-air section of a small cafe, a pot of tea and plate of sweets before us. I'd never been any sort of social drinker, but I was beginning to appreciate tea.
"Oh really, Wes." Rarity wrinkled her nose as she sat down. "I'm quite sure I said this would be my treat."
"Hmm?" I pretended not to hear. "Rarity, I hope you don't mind, I invited Lyra. She's been helping me with training, as my Jedi."
"Any friend of Wes' is a friend of mine." She politely tapped hooves. "I'm Rarity; it's nice to meet you. Tell me, what does Jedi mean?"
"I'm not entirely sure myself." Lyra said wryly. "Wes just started calling me that, since apparently martial artists have special titles where he's from."
"I see." Rarity raised an eyebrow at me. I shifted uncomfortably. She couldn't really see through me...right? "Well! Wes, I simply must show you what I've begun working on!" She produced a small velvet box, and placed it before me. "I love making jewelry, and that gem you brought me was so exquisite, I just had to begin a project. Go on, take a look."
Curious, I cracked the lid. All three of us jumped as an ear-splitting shriek rang out. I dropped the box and plugged my ears, but the sound cut off immediately.
"Hehe." Lyra had caught the box; she sheepishly floated it back onto the table. "Sorry." Rarity and I shared a look, and then stared at her. She shrugged uncomfortably, and sipped her tea.
"Mysterious martial arts instructors." I waved the incident away and flipped the top to examine Rarity's piece. Small, perfectly faceted amethysts were set in a large brooch shaped like a carousel pony. It was barely begun; the shape was clear, but it was mostly empty settings. I carefully lifted it from the box, and Lyra gasped as it sang.
The pin gathered sound from the surrounding area and hummed gently back, overlaying the random clamor of the busy street with a sweet, almost inaudible chorus. It was a delicate, beautiful sound. No wonder singing gems were sought; once it was finished, wearing this would turn every hoofstep, every rustle of clothes, every word spoken to magic.
"Rarity, this is beautiful." I rubbed a finger along the tall silver pin running through the clasp, and felt the gentle hum.
"Is that singing stone?" Lyra asked, wonder in her voice.
"Amethyst!" Rarity answered proudly. "Wes kindly offered it to me as payment." Lyra's eyes narrowed at that, and she cast me a speculative gaze.
"Magnificent," she agreed. "Where on Equus did you manage to find a singing amethyst, Wes?"
"A cave. in the Everfree. A-anyways. You had ideas for improving my social life?" I clumsily changed the subject, replacing the brooch and pouring Rarity a cup of tea.
"Indeed." Rarity smiled widely. "The first is to sit and have tea and enjoy the company of your friends, in a highly visible setting where you're obviously friendly and don't punch anything. So, Lyra. You're from Canterlot?"
I walked the empty streets, hands deep in my pockets, hat low over my eyes. There was little traffic at this time of day, and the ponies I did see were just as happy to ignore me as was them. Frustration and helplessness bubbled in my chest.
"Howdy, pardner." I raised my eyes from my feet, and plastered a smile over my restless discomfort.
"Hey, Applejack." I tried to put a bit of lift in my words, but they fell flat and dull in the quiet. She pulled her hat a little lower over her blond mane, and fell in silently. We walked for a few minutes, heading through town square towards her farm. I was tempted to turn away, to see if she would follow, but didn't quite feel rude enough.
"You know, Wes..."She chewed contemplatively on a stalk of grass. "Ah jest can't get a read on you."
"Hmm?"
"Ah like to think Ah'm a fair judge of character. But no matter how Ah try, Ah've no idea what you're thinking most times." That didn't seem to need a reply, so we walked in silence for a while longer. "It's clear enough, somethings eating you. Ah'd like to tell you to bear up, that this nastiness will blow over, but it's not just the hard words and looks that hurt, is it?"
"No."
"You seem a decent sort. Ah'd like to help. Twilight and Rainbow told me you were there for them; you're a friend of mine, for what it's worth."
"Thanks." I raised my head, and blew a breath at the sunset, trying to dispel some the fugue hanging over me. As companionship lightened my mood, my burdens loosened slightly. I rubbed a hand through my hair, trying to ease the tension in my neck.
"You're right, it is more than the rumors. Though they sting." I laughed humorlessly. "Never thought words had such power. Will ponies really fear me so, because of what they heard?"
"Ah reckon." Applejack produced a few apples. "Want one?" I accepted gratefully, polishing it on my shirt. "Look, Ah dunno much about where you grew up, but around here, what ponies say is pretty much all there is to go on. Even the newspaper's just what somepony typed up. If certain ponies talk, you listen, cuz that's news. If other ponies talk, you ignore them, cuz that's rumor. It's the ones in the middle, the ordinary ones, that do the most damage. If it makes a good story. Mah sister learned something about that." She munched her own apple for a minute. "Not everypony hates you. Most aren't even that afraid. They're playing a stupid game called 'better safe'n sorry'."
"Come again?"
"You got weapons back on, what was it, Earth?"
"Sure."
"Any small ones?"
"Lots."
"Something you could kill with?"
"Easily. A pistol."
"Well, if everypony, and I mean everypony, started telling you a certain human had a pistol, and was liable to use it, would you avoid them? If you'd never talked to them before, and didn't particularly care to?"
"Maybe. Yeah, I might." No point lying; I was just as capable of small-minded cruelty as the next human. I'd definitely shunned people who had a bad reputation, without even talking to them. Was that all it looked like to an outsider? I frowned.
"Most are just too timid to make the effort. It's easier to follow the herd. And they've never met you. Dang, we did it to Zecora, the six of us. Just never took the time for a kind word, and look how long she suffered for it." Applejack kicked a stone, hanging her head slightly. "And it's not like they're all shunning you, right? They're not shutting stores or nothing."
I nodded at that. The hard looks and whispers were definitely there, but nopony had actually acted against me.
"Anyways, Ah think it's gotten better."
"Maybe I should have just ignored the whole thing."
"Nah. If you'd let this sinister somepony do whatever, it would be worse. No point making it easy for them."
"I guess."
"So, what were you sulking about?"
"I wasn't...well, Ok, yeah, I was." I paused for a second, rubbing my chin. "Just, how helpless I am."
"How's that?" Applejack shot me flat stare. "You beat a manticore single hoofed, and you're helpless?"
"I am in this situation!" I spat angrily. "I've no faces, no names, and even if I did, I can't keep solving problems with violence." I sighed, and rubbed my eyes. "I needed alone time, so I went for a walk. Hah."
"How long you been pounding the streets?"
"Hours. Since lunch, maybe? My brain got caught on what I couldn't do. But, that's what friends are for, right?"
"Right." Applejack replied firmly. I threw my apple core into a nearby trash can.
The sun was pretty much set, and the streets were starting to darken. I'd parted with Applejack at the edge of town. She'd left me with an apple and a kind word, and I was feeling a lot better as I headed home, until a chill walked down my spine.
I didn't question the instinct; I knew what that shiver meant. I was being tailed.
I took a few random turns, trying to throw them off. But the shivers didn't falter. I glanced in the reflection of a window as I passed, trying to glimpse my pursuers. My heartbeat picked up, senses sharpening as I caught silhouettes. Could they tell I knew?
What to do? If they meant harm, they should have waited near my house. It was secluded, near the forest. If they were observing, a crowd would have shielded them. Empty streets were less than ideal. Why now? Had they anticipated my noticing? Should I confront them? Should I run? Options raced through my head, but it kept coming back to the question: what did they want?
Firming my resolve, I stepped into an alleyway. It was darker, but still had enough light to see. I couldn't afford to play to their plans. I would seize the initiative, wait for them to follow me, and confront them on a field of my choosing. I picked up a piece of trash, a handy plank, and held it behind my back.
When they rounded the corner, I wondered if I'd misread the situation. I lurked as subtly as I could, trying to flatten myself into a doorway. They seemed fairly innocuous; two earth ponies and a unicorn. My doubts were quickly laid rest as they glanced hastily around and muttered to each other. They were definitely up to something.
"Can I help you?" I stepped forward.
"Maybe." The leader, or at least the one in front, was a battered yellow earth pony. "Do you like bleeding?" He pulled out truncheon.
I blinked.
Didn't they realize just how outclassed they were?
They might be decent fighters in their own way. Maybe they could handle a bar brawl. But I gauged them, and none were much of a threat. I was used to fighting for my life. I'd wipe the floor with them, even three on one. They didn't even have basic training, and they were hardly coordinating. I touched my hip pocket and felt the reassuring bulge of my straight-razor, visions of scarlet spray dancing through my head. Rarity had recommended I leave my dagger at home, but I wasn't silly enough to go unarmed. They straggled closer. I almost laughed; they weren't taking me seriously at all. I'd even placed the sun in their eyes.
"Stupid hooman," the unicorn drawled. He was scrawny, dark blue, with beady black eyes and a ragged mane. He was the wild card; besides his magic, his eyes were cast with desperation. I would never underestimate the desperate. "Can't you run back into the forest? Go back to your animal friends."
They were baiting me. They stepped closer. I paced backwards, trying to formulate a plan that didn't leave corpses.
Rarity had been very clear on that.
She had forecast the possibility of violence. Physical attack was simple escalation. She hadn't guessed when or where, but was very clear on my job; fish for info and bail. I wasn't allowed to hurt anypony. She declared it counter productive, and exclaimed I was better than that.
I was unsure on the last bit, but I understood not reacting as they wanted. They were blatantly taunting me, but I wouldn't rise to the bait. No matter how satisfying.
"Who sent you?" All else equal, take the simplest route.
"Why would anypony send us? We just saw you walking along, and thought, as friendly neighbors, you might not know-"
"Look, I don't want to hurt you." I cut him off, to a salvo of dirty looks. Ugly Two produced a knife. "But I'm not letting you hurt me, either. Will you tell me anything? Your names?"
I got a flat look in response. So they weren't that dumb. I realized their cutie marks were covered.
"Well, I think I'm done here." I was about to turn and run, when another pony landed behind me with a thump. One glance verified the wings; they had air support. I guess that's how they tracked me.
"Come on, four against one?" I flattened myself against the wall, and traced the tempting length of my straight razor again. I could almost feel the cold steel in my grasp. But after, my actions ran red.
"Now. Take your lumps like a stallion." The gang moved in towards me. I sighed a little. Ham-fisted amateurs. I locked onto the weakest spot in their formation; I'd be past before they reacted, gone before they organized. I just needed to get in a building, then sneak home after dark.
"Don't hurt him!" I blinked in astonishment as a small form galloped off the street, and threw itself between me and my attackers. "We should be friends! Humans are friendly!" It was a...filly? Maybe a little older than the CMC, maybe a teenager. I couldn't tell if she had a cutie mark in the dim light, but her wings were obvious.
"Thanks, I think?" I muttered. "Look, kid, I appreciated the support, but do you know what you've gotten into?"
"Are you his friend then?" Ugly Leader said. The teenage pegasus swallowed nervously, and nodded convulsively.
"Grab my mane. I can fly you out of here," she whispered.
"Not a bad plan." I admitted grudgingly. "If you can carry me, and if we can ground that vagabond, we only need to get to the roof." I pointed to the pegasus blocking the back of the alley, and she wilted slightly.
"He'll be faster! Um, um-"
"Hey. Hooman-hugger." Ugly Unicorn called. "You think we'll just let you go?" The group laughed. I would have sighed at their stupidity, if I hadn't been gritting my teeth. As cliched as the threats were, harming an innocent youth was awfully near my berserk buttons. My new friend shied nervously from the advancing group, nearly into striking distance. Her eyes flicked back and forth; she was beginning to panic as the reality of the situation hit her. I knew that feeling, and decided to act.
"I'll ground him," I spat, pointing at the pegasus. "Sure you can lift me?" She nodded erratically. "Be ready. Get us out soon as I grab your mane." I spun, lunging for the flier. He reared, striking with hooves and wings, and I stopped short. My razor sang as it whirled open, but I restrained myself; instead of touching it, oh, so lightly, to the crucial tendons at the wing joints, I merely snagged a half-dozen pinions. The shaving-sharp blade took them effortlessly, crippling him for mere weeks.
I leaped back at the snicker-snack. The others were nearly on my would-be savior, and I didn't waste a moment; I lay about with my fists and feet, faster than they could react, and drove them back with a flurry of blows. As I'd guessed, the amateurs could barely see my strikes.
Rarity would be disappointed. I was disappointed. But violence was needed for my new friend's safety, and in no way would I betray such an honest trust. Discomfort bubbled in my gut nonetheless; I knew, despite winning the brawl, that I'd lost a battle here.
"Now!" I yelled, tangling my fingers in the pegasus' locks. She spread her wings with a fwip, lowered them with a fwump, and we soared skywards. I waved a finger at the gang in disarray. The pegasus tried following, but his clipped wing betrayed him; he wobbled once, and corkscrewed hard into a wall. I smirked.
The flight was short, but surprisingly fast. I noticed with curiosity that I didn't dangle; I was supported by air currents, lifted on the same cushion that allowed pegasi to flap so leisurely. We landed near the library. I staggered, but kept my feet.
My blood was still roaring for action. I threw my head back, staring at the dim stars and running through the exercises Lyra had begun teaching me; focus on breathing, monitor the reactions of the body. If you watch what is happening, it will correct itself. Concentration is the light of change. Meditation directs concentration.
The trick was to pay more attention to my emotions, not less. Distancing myself wasn't the answer; I had to watch them, accept them, catalog, number, organize, file and alphabetize them. Once I could gain mindfulness of my whole body, attention would generate calm.
"-Ok, Mr. Wesley?" As I returned to myself I realized my acquaintance had been speaking.
"Sorry, what was that?" I tried to steady my voice, but my fading battle spirit must have shown, because she refused to meet my eyes.
"Are-are you Ok?"
"Yeah." I breathed deeply, letting the adrenaline fade. " Yeah, I am." We stood awkwardly for a moment. "Um, I appreciate that you wanted to help back there, but... I would have been Ok."
"...oh."
"Sorry, it's just, by jumping in like that, you put yourself in a lot of danger." I admonished gently, but her ears went totally flat and she hung her head. "It was very brave, though."
"Really?" Her voice was small.
"Yeah!" I tried putting enthusiasm into my voice. "I'm amazed you could carry me. You're a very strong flier." I had no idea if that was true, but it was encouraging. Her ears lifted a bit. "Just, you know, never do it again."
"Um, I was wondering if-" she produced a slim notebook, and pushed it into my hands, "-you'd be willing to-"
"Wesley?" I turned; Twilight stuck her head out of the library, a book floating close behind. "Who are you talking to?"
"Um, this is-" I heard a rustle, and glanced back. A feather floated downwards, highlighting a distinct lack of pegasus. I snagged it. "You left your book!" I called aimlessly. No answer.
I sighed. Maybe I should go back to hiding in the woods.