Bon-Bon couldn't be late. She needed to be perfect for this date.
Absolutely perfect! The train to Canterlot needed to go faster.
The earth pony looked outside the window with the hopes that the train would arrive at exactly 5:58 PM.
No, scratch that. Earlier would be better.
Suddenly, Bon-Bon heard a familiar voice.
"Hi Bon-Bon, funny running into you on this train!"
The voice was loud and high-pitched. Pinkie Pie.
What was Pinkie doing? Would she embarrass Bon-Bon in front of Blueblood?
"Bon-Bon, you're famous now!"
"Yea, I guess."
"Everypony is calling you Blueblood's unexpected lover! Isn't that cute?"
"That doesn't sound cute at all, Pinkie Pie."
"Oh, I see somepony is a Ms. Grumpy McMeany Pants today."
"I'm sorry, Pinkie. I am not really that comfortable with being in the spotlight."
"Oh, of course! Not every pony is like me."
Bon-Bon thought to herself, she and Pinkie couldn't be more different.
"So, what brings you to Canterlot?"
"A cupcake convention!"
"Sounds yummy."
"So, what about you? Did you break up with Lyra to date Blueblood?"
"No.. um...."
"Rarity told me all about Blueblood and the interesting characteristics of his personality."
Rarity... for all they knew, Blueblood treated her so poorly because Rarity acted like a greedy golddigger. Jeez.. why was Bon-Bon defending Blueblood in her mind? This has to stop!
"I know all about that stuff. I just figured that well.. Blueblood hasn't been mean to me yet."
"Yet!! I know of a sexy unicorn mare back home who will never be mean to you.."
"Wow, you should win the Queen of Fucking Subtlety. Perhaps, Princess Celestia will give you a crown."
"Oh, I know. They should call me Pinkie Subtlety Pie! I think Celestia will crown you as Princess Potty Mouth of Ponyville."
"Princess Celestia will change my cutie mark into a toilet just to emphasize that for me."
"She can change cutie marks?"
"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?"
"I want my cutie mark to be um..... to think about it... nothing is better than balloons."
The train finally arrived at Canterlot.
It was 5:58. Thank Celestia!
"You could stay with me a little longer", said Pinkie Pie, "the convention doesn't start till 7."
"I am meeting some pony in two minutes."
"Ah, I guess it's a 'secret'."
"Last thing I need is the fucking media on my case."
"Don't worry", said Pinkie with a smile, "I'll make sure the media stays far away from you tonight. Have some fun! I just hope that Blueblood character doesn't do anything to destroy you."
"I'm a strong mare", replied Bon-Bon, "don't worry about me."
"Ooh, I will be at the cupcake convention early! La la la la la la!!" Pinkie bounced off.
It was 6:15.
Where was Blueblood? He said that he would meet her at the train station.
Bon-Bon grew nervous. What if he decided to bail on her?
Why should that matter? Oh fuck it! Yes, all of this did matter to her. She didn't know why, but perhaps reason was not meant to play a role in these matters.
"Good evening, Ms. Bon-Bon. I hope you are doing well tonight."
It was indeed Prince Blueblood. He was dressed up in a suit and carried a sword.. wait what?
"Good evening, Sir Blueblood. I am doing quite well. Might I ask what a handsome prince such as yourself is doing with a sword?"
"I figured you would ask that. I have something most exquisite planned for our date. It is only the appetizer, but it will be a most exciting one."
"With a sword?" Bon-Bon knew that Blueblood was going to try to impress her with something. She decided it would be a little fun to mock his sense of pride.
"Yes, my dear. Are you familiar with the Horse Knights?"
"I am somewhat. My friend, Lyra, actually really loves that stuff though. I've never really been into fantasy."
"Fantasy? Ho ho ho! This is very much reality, Bon-Bon."
"Perhaps. I think the real fantasy is you doing anything spectacular with that sword."
"And the sassy maiden speaks!"
"The sassy maiden speaks the truth about what is weak and what is strong."
"This sounds like a challenge", responded Blueblood, "I shall slay a dragon for you!"
"Ummm, Blueblood. I don't think Twilight Sparkle would like it much when she sees Spike got killed by your sword."
"What? No no no. I do not wish to fight a baby dragon. This would be considered unacceptable and unimpressive to the sassy maiden which I, the Horse Knight, wish to impress. No, my dear lady. I will use this sword to slay a real dragon."
"Spike's a real dragon."
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't."
"Does Ms. Sassy wish to watch me fight a dragon?"
"Ms. Sassy will watch since she believes this will be amusing. She just hopes her sweet prince will not be injured."
"It is risky. However, I know that Ms. Sassy will be most happy to see how strong I really am."
"Ms. Sassy knows that her prince is humble since he does not speak in the third person."
"My next task will be to teach Ms. Sassy how to be humble."
It was refreshing to Bon-Bon to see that Blueblood not only had a good sense of humor but also did a decent job of keeping up with her in the snarky department. Kind of like Lyra. Celestia, no! This arrogant and proud prince was nothing like Lyra except that they both were unicorns!
"Come on, Bon-Bon. It is time to fight dragons."
"Okay, big shot."
Blueblood whistled and a limo appeared.
"The dragons don't live particularly close", said Blueblood with a whisper.
"Don't worry, Blueblood. I will protect you."
Of course, Blueblood would use a limo to get to wherever they needed to go, thought Bon-Bon. Princes weren't expected to rely on lowly public transportation.
Blueblood was looking at his sword, making sure it was sharp enough.
What was going to happen? Was Blueblood going to slay a poor, helpless baby dragon like Spike? That wouldn't impress Bon-Bon. It would horrify her. She was hoping Blueblood would fight something larger, but would he be able to fight a larger dragon? What if Blueblood got hurt... whatever, this was all his damn fault.
The limo arrived at a volcanic area.
"Thank you, Sotheby", said Blueblood.
"You're welcome, Prince Blueblood and Lady Bon-Bon", said Sotheby with a Canterlot accent, "when do you expect to return?"
"Ho ho! Lady Bon-Bon will definitely be back within two hours. However, we will see if I survive my fight with a dragon."
"Heh heh. If you're gone, your mother is going to kill me."
"Can't you use your magic to protect yourself from my mother's wrath?"
"Her magic is stronger than mine, but even if I survive, to earn your mother's scorn would be a horror. Bon-Bon, if Blueblood gets killed by a dragon, my advice would be to go back to Ponyville as soon as possible."
"Aw", said Bon-Bon, "you mean, I won't have time to celebrate the prince's death here."
"My dear Ms. Sassy", commented Blueblood lightly, "you can throw a big party back at Ponyville. I heard one of your friends, Cheese Pie, is quite the party preparer."
Cheese Pie? Oh, Blueblood.
"I don't know a Cheese Pie. I do know a Pinkie Pie though. Perhaps, that is the one you are talking about."
"She certainly is very pink, so perhaps. She is a clever one. She told me that she organized an impromptu cupcake convention in Canterlot so the media would ignore us on our date. How she knew? I don't know."
"She's Pinkie Pie, that's all you need to know."
"Enough chit chat! I want to fight a dragon."
"What if the dragon tries to kill me instead?"
"I shall not let that happen, my lady." Blueblood held Bon-Bon's front hoof and kissed it.
Bon-Bon followed Prince Blueblood into a pit where they saw four dragons hanging out. They weren't particularly large, but somewhere in between a baby dragon and a full-grown dragon.
"Dragons are known for their arrogant and brute nature", whispered Blueblood to Bon-Bon, "especially one that is a teenager. I bet I could provoke one of these dragons to fight me."
"Are you sure you can do this", whispered Bon-Bon back, "it's sweet that you're trying to impress me in such a spectacular way, but this looks dangerous."
"I have a sword", commented Blueblood, "perhaps, Ms. Sassy would have trouble wielding the sword against a dragon but I do not."
"Perhaps, Ms. Sassy simply has had too much sense to try."
"Let's begin." Blueblood called his throat and called out, "Hey, idiots!"
The dragons all turned their heads.
"I am Prince Blueblood and I have been decreed to sentence one of you to execution."
The lean red dragon laughed loudly. His friends joined him in laughter.
"A namby-pamby pony and his little girlfriend are here to fight one of us", said the red dragon, "perhaps you're the idiot."
The dragons shared a hearty laugh.
"This namby pamby pony has a sword", said Blueblood, "also lay one claw on my girlfriend and Equestria will annihilate all the dragons with a toxic poison gas."
"What if we lay a claw on you, pony prince", asked the dragon.
"It's okay", said Bon-Bon, "nopony is going to care."
"That is correct, added Blueblood.
"Very well", said the dragon with confidence, "I shall fight you, princy-poo." His friends laughed with him.
Blueblood charged his sword at the red dragon saying, "I, Prince Blueblood, will fight for my lady's honor."
"I, Garble, will fight since ponies suck", said the dragon.
Blueblood's sword missed Garble. Garble took a swipe at Blueblood, chopping off a small part of his mane. Uh oh, Blueblood must not be happy about that.
Blueblood didn't drop the sword though and took another stab getting Garble in the chest and pushed the sword deeper and pulled it out. Just a little scratch? Underwhelming.
Suddenly, Garble began to cry. "Owwwwwww, you hurt me. Guys, did you see that? The pony gave me a little boo-boo." Tears went down Garble's eyes. Garble's friends seemed confused.
"I mean", said Garble, " come on guys. Fighting this pony is a waste of time. Let's get out of here."
The dragons flew away.
"I didn't realize dragons were such wimps", said Bon-Bon while smiling, "but, I'm proud of you, my knight."
Blueblood and Bon-Bon kissed.