"I am sorry, Sweetie Belle."
I lifted my head. The world was literally spinning, the view reminding me of the one time I'd tried a merry-go-round. I had thrown up spectacularly, spraying vomit in a wide arc. It even spattered a few older ponies nearby. Needless to say, I didn't want that again, particularly when I had an important visitor. Groaning, I willed the world to stop.
"Please allow me to assist you." Everything came to an abrupt halt, and I quickly stepped off what had become a literal carousel, complete with riding flamingos, leaving it to disappear behind me. Dizziness gone, I glared up at Princess Luna.
"You lied to me." She was completely unfazed by the accusation.
"I know how what happened must appear, Sweetie. I promised to guide you, then vanished. You faced your troubles with nopony by your side." I frowned. It didn't sound like an admission of guilt, and when I looked at her again, she seemed expectant, rather than remorseful or proud of what she'd done. I pondered and puzzled, but couldn't understand her reason. Finally, I broke the silence.
"Why?"
"You could not face your monsters alone. If I had truly abandoned you then, you would have been consumed, and I shudder to think of the consequences." A shadow crossed her eyes, and she shivered.
"Then where were you when I saw her again, when that happened again?!" I tried to sound angry, but her tone and expression had actually defused my wrath. I knew she could tell I didn't mean it, but this time, she looked away, her eyes shut against any show of her own emotion.
"Controlling everything."
"What?! How could you do that to me? How dare you do that to me?! I--"
"Enough!" Luna snapped, facing me with abrupt anger. I backpedaled through the nothingness, but her face and voice returned to calm. "I am sorry, Sweetie Belle. I truly am. I thought you already knew I find no pleasure in this."
"I, but..." I hesitated, a gray nightmare of hats and failure flashing through my mind. I had to concede, and couldn't quite look at her as I did so. "... I remember. But what happened this time? I didn't do anything wrong, I swear! It really was her fault!"
"I know. I am not here to convince you otherwise. I had sworn to find a way to awaken you, and a forced confrontation was my final option."
"But I never saw you before then!" Luna shook her head.
"I only spoke to you in disguise, when I did so at all. I was always the one asking questions you must have found odd." She gave me a stern look. "You set my tail on fire. Twice."
"Um--" That actually described way too many ponies. It was kind of funny watching meanies run away, chased by flames literally attached to their backsides, but maybe I'd gone a little too far.
"It nearly ruined my bed. The real one, in Canterlot." I gaped. Wait, I had actually done that to her for real?
"I'm sorry, I didn't--"
"And you sent me back to the moon nine times." Her sternness grew to a furious glare, and I knew changing the scenery wouldn't work to evade her.
"I'm sorry!" I threw my forelegs over my face, for whatever good it would do. "I didn't mean to actually do any of that! Please tell me I didn't hurt anypony else!"
"No. No, you did not," the princess said quietly. She returned her gaze to the empty void below us. "Only I, who entered your dreams, was in danger, but you did mean to hurt ponies. You had forgotten your world was not real. I hope you know now why my words, before, carried such urgency."
"I'm sorry," I said, cautiously putting my legs back down. She seemed to have hidden away her anger, but it had been replaced in her eyes by pain. What I added then was the most ridiculous sentence a filly could possibly say to one of the alicorn rulers of Equestria, but it still had to be said: "I'm sorry I hurt you, Princess Luna."
"It..." Luna grimaced, seeming for a moment to struggle with the words. "It is alright, Sweetie Belle. You did not realize what you were truly doing, and for Twilight Sparkle, I - I forgive you. I must. But because of what you have done, and because I cannot attend your every rest, you are not allowed your own dreams until you are... better. Please, tell me you understand."
"I'm not sick." She started to open her mouth, and I quickly added, "But I understand, I guess. So this is just no dream at all, then?"
"It is cruel to leave a pony entirely dreamless," Luna said, shuddering violently as she shook her head. It felt like there was more she wouldn't tell me, but I couldn't bring myself to pry. "No. I could never give you those of others, so you shall have mine, where you do not have the power to cause such harm. This is one of them."
"Where's... well, everything?" I asked. A glance around showed nothingness in every direction. The void was still an absolute, endless blank.
Without answering, the alicorn tapped a hoof on the "floor" of the plane we seemed to be standing on, and it produced a wooden sound, like a knock on the door. Scenery materialized: Grass, a hill, the Ponyville school; a night sky, the moon. Luna had been facing me, but as she looked up towards the stars, she stood at my side. The scene was tranquil, and details began to sharpen around us. I could hear crickets and a distant frog; grass tickled the bottoms of my hooves, and a breeze carried the scent of coming rain.
"Why are you showing me this?" The princess didn't look at me, her eyes fixed on some distant object.
"This is for me." I followed her gaze as she sat back on her haunches. Above us, the moon shone as a bright crescent in the sky. A familiar pattern on its surface was clear for anypony to see.
"... oh."
Princess Luna guarded herself well, but I could feel an old, deep hurt around her as she stared, refusing to let anything show in her face. Only when I scooted over, leaning into her side to embrace her with one foreleg, did she turn her head away, looking down at me to smile gently.
"You are a surprisingly understanding little filly, Sweetie Belle. I know we will overcome this." She surprised me with a tender nuzzle just below my left ear, and abruptly, I felt sleepy. "But right now, I can feel you waking up. I will visit again soon."
She said something else, but her words were too warped to understand, distorted by the swirling scenery. I blinked.
"Ugh, not this one again," I groaned. I was surrounded by white, my body tucked neatly under white sheets. It was chilly where my head and forelegs stuck out from beneath them, and the last light of evening made a weary attempt to illuminate the room through the window.
"Sweetie Belle?" I looked towards the voice, and my face was abruptly full of purple fur as Twilight Sparkle hopped over the other bed with a quick flap of her wings, sending papers flying. She was beside my bed almost instantly. "I've been so worried! When they told me you woke up, I came as quickly as I could, but you were already out. I've been waiting forever to see you again! Are you okay? Are the doctors treating you properly?"
I tuned her out, glancing around the room when the barrage of questions didn't stop. Everything but Twilight and her papers was as I'd left it, which was perfect - it was rare for something about a place to change while I was gone; when it did, it usually meant she was up to something again.
Eventually, Twilight ran out of air, and I was finally able to return fire while she gasped for a breath.
"Why do you care?" She recoiled, and I looked away, immediately realizing I had blundered. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. But, why are you acting like you're my mother?"
"Oh... um, well..." Twilight closed her eyes, took a deep breath, extended one hoof, and exhaled. "I'm sorry, Sweetie Belle. I got a little excited. I just want to know how you're doing. I care because we're friends - you remember Twilight Time, right?" I nodded. "I really loved spending time with you and Sc--and the others. And because of, um... extenuating circumstances, I'm... well, that can wait."
"You're what now?" I gave her as critical a look as I could, and she smiled sheepishly.
"Nothing, nothing. Are you okay? Has Pri--ah, has Luna been visiting you?" I blinked, trying to remember--
"Oh, yeah! I was just talking to her before you came in." Strangely, my memory of what happened, exactly, was a bit... fuzzy. "She seems kind of nice."
"Oh, that's good!" A nervous air about Twilight seemed to deflate, and she smiled with, finally, a degree of warmth. "I never knew her to get up so early, but I guess she took my request even more seriously than I'd hoped. So, how are you doing? Everything going okay here?"
"I guess." Silver Spoon had been kind of mean, and none of the grown-ups seemed to care, but what else was new? I'd have to deal with her myself anyway, and tattling would just make it worse. Besides, if there was anything Babs Seed taught me, it was that there was another side to the story - and I'd heard Silver's. I looked away in time to hide a grimace.
"You guess? Is something wrong?" Twilight's concern seemed real enough, but what could I tell her? Oh, Princess Twilight, I can't handle one stupid bully, please take a break from ruling Equestria to help me? I wasn't powerless - or a tattler.
"Not really," I lied. What else was I supposed to do? "Things are kind of different, but it seems okay, I guess."
"I'm glad you're settling in well, Sweetie. Oh, and the doctors asked me to tell you - you're going to hurt yourself if you run with those sedatives in your system."
"Oh." Twilight tried to hide a yawn by looking out my window. I didn't comment, and instead rolled out of bed to look out at the twilit horizon with her. Below us, somepony was lighting the last few lamps along the street, using his magic to trigger some enchantment within - and off to the side, towering over everything but the mountain itself, was Canterlot Castle. Somehow, it managed to retain its pale beauty even before the moonrise, when most buildings would be dark monsters silhouetted against a darker sky. I'd only had a view of the castle this close a few times in my life, but now the once-comforting walls towered over me like an ivory giant, the night sky a layer of purple over their tallest spire. I gulped, and stepped away.
"Oh, look! Princess Luna's coming out to raise the moon!" Twilight pointed excitedly towards... wherever. I backed further away from the window, trying not to be seen and keeping my voice down.
"Don't you see her pretty much all the time?" Even before absolutely nothing bad happened, Twilight had been around Ponyville less and less. And maybe, just maybe, absolutely nothing bad would happen if I kept up the distraction. "I thought you basically live here now."
"Well, I do live here, yes," the uni--alicorn said, then shook her head. "I'm far too busy, though. I don't usually have the time, so this is still fresh for me. Are you sure you don't want to watch?"
"Yes, definitely," I stammered. The monstrosity filled the entire view from the window, staring in at me, and I dove under the bed. The lavender thing roared, and, trapped, I screamed back. "Please don't let her hurt me!"
Everything seemed to blur into a tide of white. I clung desperately to the underside of my bed, which rolled along a creek of milk, and screamed. Pitchers hovered near me, trying to force themselves into my mouth, and my grip weakened every time I tried to swat them away, until I fell. I had to get out of the widening river, but my legs froze up when I tried to paddle my way free of the current, freezing into sculpted gemstones. My lungs burned as I sank, throwing every last bit of energy against my darkening senses in desperation.
The last thing I remember is the chill that ran down my back when I realized I would be stuck, drowning constantly, forever.