//------------------------------// // Oh hey, another bro! // Story: Screw the rules we're on a road trip. // by Ssendam the Masked //------------------------------// Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, 1,050 years ago I watched the manticore wander below me with bated breath. Then, I sprang into action. Silently, I jumped onto its back, flaring the power through the blade and spearing it in the head. It was either the manticore or us, and we didn't want to starve. Later, as we huddled with our meals around a hastily built campfire, Toby turned to me. With the mask removed, I could see just how... lost he was. I suppose I was lost as well. As we tore into our hunks of meat in silence, a thought struck him. "Hey, Josh?" "Mmm?" I mumbled around a mouthful of meat. "...Do you suppose we'll ever find our way home?" I swallowed the mouthful of tough flesh and thought. "Yeah. Don't worry about it man. We'll do it." I buried my face in more meat. It really needed little things- like salt, pepper, hell, flavour in general. But it kept us alive. Kept up from starving. But we needed fruit. Our bowels were starting to lock up. "Hang on a minute, Josh." I turned. Toby was grinning "What is it?" "If what we're doing is like chakra, then do you think..." "Do I think what?" "That we could do the, you know... Rasengan!" I stroked my chin. What he was suggesting was madness. Rasengan was one of the most difficult techniques that was ever shown on the show- the ability to focus all that power into a tiny spinning ball, like a miniature drill. No handsigns, just pure chakra control. Theoretically, anybody could master the jutsu. They just needed control. "Rasengan." "Yeah! It can't be too hard! All we need are some balloons, and some rubber balls!" That actually sounded interesting. "That's a goal to work towards. First, though, let's get some sleep. I'll take first watch." Toby nodded, curling into a ball. With a clap of his hands, leaves surrounded him. "Wonder what chakra nature you have..." With that, he drifted off to sleep. I watched, then donned my helmet. Nothing was attacking our camp. Although... Hesitantly, I picked up a leaf. I concentrated, feeling the power- chakra- flow through me, into the leaf. It split lengthways. A Wind nature, eh? That explained the sword blasts. I focused on the short sword. Although my long sword now had the power to unleash energy blasts, I knew it was thanks to the short sword. I gripped it. "Tell me your secrets. "The sword didn't talk back immediately. But as I was about to put it away, I heard- or felt- a presence in it and my new sword. I glared at my long sword. "What's your story? What should I call you?" ...Yoshimitsu... The name floated through my consciousness like a leaf on the wind. So what I held in my hand was the original Yoshimitsu, eh? Well, time to get practising. We were more than capable of running from them, but the next time... if we had to fight, we had to be able to fight. Toby seemed to have Wood Release down pat, but I barely knew what my own powers were. Okay, there's the energy blasts. That's a start. Now, if what we're using is chakra, then... I concentrated on my gut. The power seemed to bubble there. I drew in a deep breath, focused on what was happening, then let fly, expelling it through my mouth. The result of my little experiment? A ball of purplish-black mist, which hung for a moment then faded. So, I'd mastered Bad Breath, then. I will have to become stronger. Yoshimitsu's P.O.V, present day. As we trundled along, something struck me as off. Why had nobody summoned us? The summon sign could be visible from any world that was Equestria. Maybe we should make another mark. Beside me, Tobi had the same opinion. "Hey, sempai. Another mark would be good." I nodded. "That way, we have an escape route should Mighty Whitey find us. Speaking of, are you sure she isn't... you know... scrying on us?" Tobi nodded. "Even if she tried, we'd detect her in a heartbeat. We're both sensor-types, remember?" I nodded. The ability to track lifeforms that came too close to us was an ability that'd saved our asses from hell and high water more times than I cared for. Even now, we’d sensed several Royal Guards strafing the area, trying to find us no doubt. Well, we were on the road trip now, and nothing barring another lengthy prison sentence was going to change that. It was at this point that we felt a tug. “Sempai?” “Yes?” “I think we’re being summoned.” “That we are.” With that, we disappeared for parts unknown (actually, the Crystal Caves, but Parts unknown sounds much better and more badass.) When we reappeared, it was with a song of ice and fire. Thinking fast, I whipped out my sword and made a badass ninja pose (you know the one, where the ninja has his sword overhead in a totally impractical manner,) while Tobi whipped into the ‘Praise the Sun’ gesture. Some things never change. Was this what it was like for Solaire? If so, then man was he a total bro. I got a good look at our summoner. He seemed to be tall, and a evil wizard looking guy. Eh, won’t judge. We stared at each other in silence, until Tobi broke wind. “Dude, that was disgusting. Don’t fart in front of some bloody wog.” “Who’re you calling a wog, you freak? And where the hell did you two come from?” the wizard (I decided to refer to him in my head as Mr Wizard) said, crossing his arms, and glaring daggers with the green lights that we assumed were his eyes. “Sempai, should we introduce ourselves?” “Why not?” Tobi bounced over. “Hello! I’m Tobi, and this is Yoshimitsu. And we’re from another Equestria. What do you need help with? OH! We should give him the chakra power! After help though. We can definitely do that.” I nodded. “State your business, and we’ll help you however we can.” Mr Wizard seemed confused. “Business? What business? I was just fine until you two showed up!... But now that you’re here, I guess I could have a use for you. You two know where the Canterlot dungeons are?” Mr Wizard asks, businesslike in tone and posture, and he casts a bored look at us with his glowing, green eyes, as if not expecting us to know the answer. Well, just to screw with him, I decided to faux-ponder, then answer him bluntly, like a man losing his virginity. “Yes. Why, did you drop the soap?” Tobi nodded along with me. “He might have done. Yanks are into that, right?” Mr Wizard seems out of sorts. “... Um… I take it that’s a no, then?” Mr Wizard asks, looking completely out of it, like he wasn’t sure whether or not he was tripping balls. Well, we might have been, but not him. I waved my hands and rolled my head to emphasize the negative. “Of course we know where the dungeons are. It’s where we summoned our buddy, Sunbro.” “Speaking of Sunbro, I’m guessing you haven’t met him. He’s pretty cool.” Tobi looked at Mr Wizard and patted his shoulder, eliciting a jump backwards. “So, how can we help you out this fine morning?” I held out a hand dramatically. “It might not be morning. It could be the afternoon.” Tobi nodded earnestly. “Very true, Sempai.” “... Yessss…. Well, if you two REALLY want to help, I need someone free from the dungeons. You two are familiar with breakouts, right?” Mr Wizard asks, becoming hopeful as he paces to and fro impatiently. Maybe he had to go to the bathroom? Tobi shrugged, thinking hard. “Yep.” Mr Wizard seems to be relieved at this statement. I grinned behind my mask. “Naturally. We ARE ninja, after all. Who do you want to be freed, and where are they?” Tobi looked at the wizard. “Maybe THEY dropped the soap.” I shrugged. “From what I heard, they don’t even provide soap in pony prisons. It encourages those kinds of scenarios.” Tobi backed away, his hand over his mouth. “But… it isn’t a prison drama without soap! Where would all the fanservice be?” I shrugged. “The police, obviously.” “Hey, focus! I need a breakout to happen, yes, but not in the conventional sense. In layman’s terms, I don’t need someBODY broken out, but more like someTHING. There’s a demon down there that I need free if I’m to create a big enough diversion to get the hell out of here. You do this, and, uh, I guess I’ll reward you or something. Can you do this, you know, without somehow only screwing everything up? Because the last phantom I summoned did just that.” The wizard snaps, smacking us both upside the head with a vengeance to get our attention. “Ow… okay, we can do that. Hang on a moment.” Tobi summoned his camera, which made Mr Wizard jump back. Before he could react, Tobi took a photo of him. “Okay, what was with that?” I hastened to explain. “You know, we were just taking a photo to commemorate our partnership. Now, a demon’ll be easy to find, thanks for that. Also, one more thing: are you a brogre? That’s important.” “Shrek is love. Shrek is life.” Tobi chimed in. We advanced slightly on him, chanting. He backed away, watching us like a cornered mouse. “Shrek is love. Shrek is life. Shrek is love. Shrek is li-” “OKAY, STOP THAT!” I think we broke him. Mr Wizard hyperventilated for a few moments before calming down. He pressed his fingers to his mask in an attempt to be cool. “Yes, I’ll be a ‘brogre’ or whatever, just get the demon free!” We saluted. “HEIL HITLER!” With that, Tobi grabbed me and formed some handsigns. We disappeared through the ground. Along the way, Tobi turned to me. “Okay, he’s a bro. Now we can free the demon. But first… I think that we should plant explosive charges.” I nodded. It wouldn’t be an awesome visit without blowing something up. “That is an excellent idea, Tobi! Tell you what. You give me the notes, and I’ll go plant them. You can deal with Mr Demon Friend.” “YAY!” Tobi deposited me on the surface outside the palace. He then handed me the result of a bored night with pens and pencils- enough explosive tags to blow up most of the castle. I waved at him and made my merry way through Canterlot. Tobi’s P.O.V, present day. I burrowed through the rock, searching for a demonic prisoner. I eventually found a pulse of power, as well as… I growled a bit. It was Purple Smart and the Elements of Butthurt! Well, I had a plan to deal with them. First, find a guard. I burrowed around, sensing for a guard who was forever alone. I found one just leaning against a wall, being a bored dude. I gripped his ankle, and pulled him into the ground. As I felt him collapse, I frowned behind my fashionable orange mask. Funny, ponies aren’t bipedal… I looked at him. Yep, this world had anthropomorphic ponies. “Wow, you’re a tall one.” Before he could talk or scream, I reached down and quickly snapped his neck. He looked funny like that, head lolling and his tongue flopping out of his mouth. I pulled him out of the soil, examined him minutely. Then, with a puff of smoke, I was guard. Not wanting anybody to find him, I sank back into the ground, burying him. “Here lies guard. He leaned against a wall and died forever alone.” I blinked at how perfect my henge was. “Henge is op plz nerf.” With that, I walked through the prison hallways, moving with purpose and badassery. It’s a sad thing, but when you look like you’re on a mission, people will never stand in your way. And it was then that I saw the pleasures and horrors of multicoloured boobs. I thanked my stars that they couldn’t see that I’d just gained a huge erection and turned to them. I acted like the other guards- I pretended that I had a stick up my butt and just kept my face still. “Princess Twilight, I’m sorry to disturb you, but Princess Celestia has just asked for you and the other elements of Harmony to attend her. Please go immediately.” “Wait, Celestia’s awake!? I thought she was still in the medical wing!” Twilight exclaims, looking at me with shock and suspicion. Shit. “Um, well, she, uh…” Screw subtlety. “Screw it. Just screw it. I am a badass mutherfucker, I ain’t got time for this shit.” I dispelled the henge and kicked her in the cunt, following up with a clothesline. That done, I quickly activated Sharingan, staring at the blue pegasus, already gearing up for an attack. I implanted three simple commands- kick, block, punch. I slapped her hypnotised attacks aside, and sent her crashing into the wall. Bubba tried to kick me, but I was ready for her. I lunged in past her kick, unleashing a headbutt that sent her unconscious. Gripping her hat, I threw it in front of What’s-her-face and punched her. She went down like a sack of potatoes. Now, only Fabulous was left. I grinned as I saw her backing up in fear of my awesome power. I slammed my hands together, and roots gripped her and snagged her tight. Similar roots were already creeping out of the ground to incapacitate the rest of the Elements of Butthurt. I noticed her breasts and I grinned. I placed my hands on them, enjoying the feeling. She squirmed, and tried to yell out, but a root sprouted through her jaws, cutting her off. “Honk honk.” I gave them a playful squeeze, then punched her in the horn. I then turned to the demon the six guarded, who was sitting in a cage, doing nothing. Honestly, I can’t see why not: He was a frucking chuby-chubbykins. His great, distended belly gave him the appearance of an absurdly-fat Goron, but with the head of a Trapinch, the eyes of a lazy alligator, the legs of an elephant, and meaty, clawed hands at the end of long, muscular arms that put the muscle wizard to shame, all covered in rough-looking, orange hide. Still, a demon it was, and he was clearly the one I was looking for. “Hey, I’m a friend of Mr Evil Wizard. Do you want to be free?” I waited for his answer. However, the fat, gargantuan demon simply sat there, yawning, and finally acknowledged me, his voice deep and drawn-out, like a stereotypical retarded giant. “Ho, hum, ho… Huh? Who’s there?...” The massive wall of fat and bulging muscle yawned, turning, and finally setting his sunken, reptilian eyes on me before continuing. “Oh, just a tasty guard… But did this one say he was friends with Malideus, dark bane of Ponykind..? How odd. Why would a morsel like you be friends with a dark lord as he, I wonder..?” The demon grumbled, drooling slightly, and he tilted his head, as if expecting an answer, but not demanding one. “Because I am Tobi, master ninja and assassin. Now, may I ask the name of the hambeast in front of me?” I focused on my hand, and a glowing ball of blue energy formed in my fist. “The choice is up to you.” The massive hambeast-demon before me simply looked at the ball, then at me, and then, as if not able to give any fucks, shrugged, yawning once more. “I suppose I could stand to be out of this cage. As for my name, you may call me Gondon.” Ha, ‘Gondon’? What a retarded name for a demon! Ah, well, better let this chubby fuck out. “RASENGAN!” I slammed my Rasengan into the lock, breaking him free. I watched him warily. “Follow me, and try not to eat them.” “But I’m hungry…” “I have a nice guard that you can snack on juuuuust a little ways away. Plus, there’s a shitton of guards out there. Snack on them, okay?” Hambeast demon broke out into a retarded grin. Seems he likes guards. Yoshimitsu’s P.O.V, present day. I wandered, feeling for Celestia and Luna and planting my explosive notes near the load-bearing walls, to be detonated at a later time. I eventually found Celestia, in the treasure chamber if I remembered correctly. “Halt!” I turned to the guard. He seemed to be repulsed by the blood that covered me, but he stood his ground. A brave idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. “You can’t-urk!” I removed my sword from his head and continued walking. As a ninja, I’d killed before, and what was one more death? I was literally covered in blood and bits at this point. No other guard contested my might, they just watched me warily. I walked like I owned the entire world. I drilled down into the chamber with my sword like a total boss. That done, I dropped down onto Celestia’s bed. I gently caressed her face. “Hello, Celestia.” I sat down, waiting, watching her impressive chest rise and fall while drawing my sword for insurance purposes. I’m not the kind of guy who kills a sleeping innocent unless I have a reason. Guards are just asking for it. Something large was clattering its way towards here, I turned, curious, then back to boobs. “Halt, whoever you are! Step away from the Princess.” I turned to see a huge fellow standing there in the doorway, clad in golden armour. Given his appearance, I’d say that he’s a guard-fuck. Or… something else. “Wow, you’re a tall one.” He started, and I waved a hand. “If you charge, then you’re going to hit her.” He growled, but reluctantly backed down, like an unruly dog. I continued talking, just to mess with the huge-ass giant. “I don’t kill those who are unconscious, unless I’m paid to do so.” He seemed horrified with the very notion. “You’d literally attack the Princess if you were ordered to?” I nodded. “As a ninja, it is inevitable. The guards got in the way of my objective. I was bored, and I have no specific orders. What else would I do, not pass up an opportunity to stare at boobs? It’s been a boring visit so far. Well, apart from the murder.” He unsheathed a massive battleaxe and took a rather menacing stance for a normal, not insane person who didn’t suffer from synthesasia. I rolled my eyes. “Please. I can dodge you, but can you be sure of not hitting her?” “You say you’re a ninja, right? Well, I don’t particularly LIKE ninjas, but I know they don’t take orders from just anyone, either. Who sent you?” The giant asks, lowering his axe slightly, but still giving the feeling of glaring daggers at me. I decided to be as honest as I wanted to be. “Shrek.” Mr Angry Marine seemed to be confused. “Uh… what?” “I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek. I had all the movies and merchandise. Every night, I prayed to Shrek, thanking him for the life I had been given. Shrek is love, I’d say, Shrek is life-” Big Knight raised his left hand, right pressing into his forehead. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?” I held my hands up in supplication. “Alright, you have me.” A pause. “It was Hitler.” “Stop bullshitting. It was Malideus, wasn’t it? Who else would want the glorious leader of this fair land dead?” The knight calls me out, hitting the nail dead-on. Well, so much for having fun with this one. But his bullshit moral high ground was totally not cool. “Fine, you got me. But don’t you dare tell me that I don’t have my own reasons. He didn’t order me to kill Celestia, so I don’t. But before you judge me, let me tell you a bit of a story.” I remove my helmet, exposing my scarred head. My eyes glimmer through a mass of scar tissue, with no eyebrows or hair. He steps back a bit as I start talking. “In my Equestria, I… accidentally aggravated the sisters. One thing led to another, and me and my best friend became fugitives. One day, we’re attacked from behind while we’re having a rest. I see Celestia hurt my best friend. Wanna know what happened to him?” “Half of his face gets hit with a fucking laser beam. So he’s down. I stand up, and Luna hits me in the face with something called a ‘Starlight Breaker.’ You know the horn beams? Imagine twelve of them going off in your unprotected face.” “After that, we lost our shit. I carved some rivers and valleys, and Tobi manipulated the very forest into being hostile. There, that’s my story.” I replace my helmet. He seems to be a bit shaken. “Admittedly, this was in the medieval era, like a thousand years ago. Oh yeah, we were imprisoned in stone. For a thousand years.” I get up close to Celestia. “Can you imagine what it feels like being stone? To feel the sanity slowly drip from your ears as the years go by? To start screaming as you slowly begin to taste colour, hear scents, feel sound… can you imagine what it feels like to lose empathy and regain it?” as I end my little story, the giant seems absolutely shaken, in fact, I can see him tremble. “But… that was YOUR universe. In this one, the princesses are kind, loving beings, they even welcomed me with open arms after I explained myself! Why would you obey someone as horrible and evil as Malideus, going as far as MURDER, when these people have done nothing to you? Why serve a villain without a second thought?” The giant asks, shaking with rage and conviction as he speaks. I farted. “Because, Nathan, for all their ignorance, these two know the truth of this world, unlike you.” A voice sounds out before I can reply, and in the doorway stands Mr. Wizard, looking quite imposing as he glares at the great, big soldier. Wait, did he just call me and Tobi ‘‘ignorant’? “You…” growls the giant, looking like he’s ready to bust a blood vessel. The Wizard does nothing, though, and remains staring at us with his green, condescending eyes. “Oh, lord… Don’t act so surprised, Nathan.” Mr Wizard says, his glare becoming harsher. “Oh, hey bro. Charges are set, all I have to do is set them off. By the way, what did you mean about ignorant? We’re insane, we have a right to be total nutcases. Besides, in our universe, our princesses are like yours, and we don’t hold a grudge. They DID try to stop us going on our roadtrip, but that’s about it. You have to understand, Nathan, me and my buddy aren’t really evil. We’re more anarchists. Some men… just want to watch the world burn. Besides, if YOU summon us, we’ll fight for you and your Princess. Hell, just go down to the dungeons if you really want to summon us.” “Enough! I’ve been here three seconds, and I’m already sick of this! Nathan, remove yourself from this room, or I’ll have Yoshimitsu do it for you.” The wizard says, slamming the butt of his staff to the ground in a display of dominance. “No! As long as the princess is under threat, I will never remove myself from her side! Not while you have even the SLIGHTEST possibility of killing her!” Nathan says, continuing the back-and-forth. Finally, Mr. Wizard loses it, pointing his staff at the giant. “Idiot, I don’t WANT to kill her! If I did, I’d have ordered Yoshimitsu to have it done! I merely needed a distraction so I could take something back!” The wizard yells, confusing us both. “U wot m8.” Just then, Tobi appears out of the floor. “Hey, Malideus? I set the hambeast free and he’s going on a bit of a rampage.” Hambeast? We HATE hambeasts. Hambeasts were what sent us here, what rendered us insane and older than any human being should ever be. I leapt up in a rage. “Wait, the demon was a hambeast? Screw this.” I lifted my armour, revealing the explosive tags. “Explain what this means, Malideus, or I’m blowing us all to hell!” Tobi nods. “Yeah, I’ve got my own notes on as well!” He lifts his shirt, revealing that both of us literally covered ourselves in enough explosives to completely level this section of Canterlot. Suddenly, both Malideus and Nathan jump back in shock, the wizard putting his staff up in an effort to protect himself, but Celestia just twitches, mumbles something, and turns over. “What the hell?! You two are loonies!” Nathan cries, and Malideus seems to be thinking the same thing, though he takes a calmer approach to it. “Woah, woah, take it easy, both of you! I don’t know WHEN I ordered you to set explosives, but I’m telling you right now, well, more like asking: Isn’t this a bit extreme!?” I shrugged. “Extreme? Sounds like you’re too sane. Tell you what, Tobi, how about we play a game?” Tobi bounces happily. “Are we playing Fifty-Fifty?” I nodded. “When we wanted revenge, this is what we did. We shoved an explosive note into a captive’s mouth, and flipped a coin. Fifty… fifty.” I raised my coin. “If it’s heads, then everything goes boom. Got it? Unless, Malideus, you tell us what the purpose of the hambeast was.” Malideus, after some serious thought on his part, seemed to immediately give in to my demands, and raised his arms in a gesture of surrender, proceeding to explain everything. “Alright, alright! Look, you two, I didn’t know you guys had a thing against fatsos, but come on, it was just a distraction, I already explained that! All I wanted was for Gondon to wreck the lower halls, so I could get to Celestia. Then, I was going to kidnap her, take her to the lair, and mine her for power. You know, bad guy stuff! There, I explained my whole plan to you psychopaths! You happy?!” Malideus screams, and Nathan butts in immediately: “You don’t get the right to call THEM psychos, when you blew up a city full of civilians IN A MECH!” Something gets me. “Whoa, did you just say mech?” They nod. Well, Malideus and his friend now deserve the chakra power. “Tobi.” “Yes, sempai?” “I think that we should take a photo for this glorious day.” “Aye aye!” Tobi summoned his camera and took a quick picture. “Picture taken!” I grinned. “All of the tags we’re wearing are fakes. But the ones we planted aren’t.” I darted up to Nathan and Malideus, resting a hand on each of their heads before they can react. “I want things to be interesting. So, as a gift, I grant both of you the chakra power.” I roared as chakra poured through my arms, and they screamed in unison as my chakra flooded their systems. Upon this happening, both of the two chumps didn’t even have time to question me before the screaming started, and surprisingly, big guy went down first, and the wizard proceeded to twitch a while longer, before collapsing onto his knees, and muttering something about hating ninjas. I grinned. “Now, Tobi, teach them handsigns.” Tobi nodded, looking the wizard straight in the eye. “Heed my voice, wizard and warrior. Here are the handsigns.” Implanting the genjutsu in both of them, he got wicked. “Also, whenever you see each other, you, Malideus, are going to start singing the Australian national anthem. You, Nathan, are going to scream, “ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME!” Got it?” They dully muttered ‘yes.’ Then, shaking his head, the wizard got up, gripping his head, and completely blowing everything off that Tobi had told him. “What the shit..? Why does it feel like my head is going to explode? And why is the Australian national anthem stuck in my head?” Malideus asks, looking quite pissed, and Nathan gets up, grumbling angrily. “Speak for yourself, you PISS-ANT FUCKNUGGET COCK-MONGERING BROGRE PIECE OF EVER-FUCKING SHIT WHORE!!!!!” Nathan suddenly screamed before he could finish his real sentence, and promptly covered his helmet where his mouth would’ve been, the blush on his face visible through his closed helmet. “What..? What the hell did you do to us, you demented ninja?” Malideus asks, panicking visibly. Tobi grinned. “It’s simple. You two looked into Sharingan, and I taught you how to use our ninja-jutsu! Also, I implanted the commands because they were funny as shit. Don’t worry, I implanted no other commands.” I interjected. “We’re not doing this because we’re evil, we’re doing this because we can. You see, we’re gadflies really. We provoke to see response.” I laughed. “Art is an infinite explosion- just kidding, we don’t really have explosive tags.” We laughed as they collapsed. It was pretty funny to see them realise that two complete lunatics had outmaneuvered them. “I hate summoning phantoms…” Malideus muttered, before getting up, and walking out of the room, ignoring his previous target. “Hey, where do you think YOU’RE going, you PISS-AND-CUM-COVERED RAT-FACED MAN-WHORE OF A FUCKING DONKEY!!!!” The big guy roared, covering his ‘mouth’ afterwards. While he was distracted, Tobi took a picture of Celestia sleeping while I fondled her breasts. “I’m done with this! I’m taking Gondon and going home, you can keep your slut of a princess!” Malideus said, walking away. Finally, Malideus left, and the three of us just kind of stood there awkwardly, and we suddenly felt the feeling of being unsummoned as the wizard left. “Hey, Nathan. GG no re. If you want to talk to us, just go down to the dungeons, look for the glowing text on the wall. We’ll fight for you!” “But if you’re going to Ponyville, and you go into a barn, don’t touch the glowing red text, that would be bad.” With that, we disappeared, leaving a very confused soon-to-be angry marine behind us. When we got back, it was to discover that blood didn’t traverse the interdimensional void. “Hey, Tobi.” “Yes, Sempai?” “That was fun.”