Have you ever heard the question, “Why do we need feminism”? For the longest time, I didn't think there was a reason for it, with both all the privileges women enjoy these days and how level the playing field has become. Really, considering the level of equality that pervades our society, it’s easy to assume a movement based on the fight for these rights as unnecessary, as many of my orchestra mates have attested to. The first time I ever thought it a needed force was during my first year of college, when I went to Manehatten on winter break.
I was visiting Winter Sonata, a family friend and my foreign media consultant over there, when she decided to take me on a walking tour through its surrounding boroughs. I believe you've seen a few of shots of her before, correct? Subtle hourglass build? Dark, bowl cut hair? Anyways, during our walk, she spoke at length about her adventures in a style of costuming focused on specific characters...Cosplay, I believe it's called? From what I remember, she had been at it since her middle school days, and found that not only were the skills she picked helping her to express herself, but in modeling her works, she found a sense of confidence in her body she never had before, one that made her slowly less conservative about many things, especially the way she dressed.
That day, despite it being cold enough for me to see each breath I took, I remember her choosing Leopard print boots, black thigh highs, leopard print short shorts, and a black leather zip up jacket with studs on the shoulders for her traveling outfit. To this day, I'm perplexed at how warmly Manehattenites dress in such frigid conditions. Perhaps I'm just a bit soft, as she liked to call me? At any rate, while we traveled, a local selling burned copies of the latest CDs, along with a few of his friends, took exception to her manner of dress, and hollered that her shorts were too short.
In response, she glared at them, and said, "Don't be a jackhole! You wouldn't talk to your mom or your sister that way, would you?" They, of course, denied their kin would dress that way, then offered her money for her to service them as a lady of the night would. In quick fashion, she spit in the face of one, and called him a pig. Before I knew it, one of them clubbed her in the back of the head, and ran off with his posse as she fell, unconscious, to the pavement. After tending to her, I called the police, and we gave them descriptions of her assailants as soon as they showed up, the officer showing about as much compassion as a rock towards her plight
Neither of us could grasp why the authorities were so cold towards her in her hour of need, nor why those punks attacked her the way they did. Shouldn’t a human being have some interest in when another gets hurt, and possibly needs their aid? Granted, she did spit in his face, and all, but to attack someone for it, much less in the cowardly way they did is absolutely egregious, more so for an officer of the law to treat a victim of assault like someone in line to get their bloody driver’s license. As we continued our walk, she spoke of how our society conditioned us to view such behavior as acceptable, and an expected part of life.
At first, I thought the notion as completely absurd, but after that day, I thought about my time among other cellists and in the classical music scene. I remembered when, back in high school, one of the males in the school orchestra asked if I would strum his strings, and the other boys laughed. I remembered how my father nearly beat the stuffing out of someone at a party because they made a pass at my mum and grabbed her bum because ‘she was asking for it the way she dressed’ I remembered that my friend got punched in the back of her head because, behind the blatant disrespect she showed, they didn’t like that her skirt was too short. It was shortly after that day that I embraced more strongly the radical notion that women are human beings, otherwise known as Feminism
Yes, there have been less positive aspects to it, like those who blame men for all of society's ills, those who reject everything traditionally feminine on the grounds of them bring a tool of oppression, the radical groups who hire model-esque women to picket a cause without their tops on and so on. Those are the people I first thought of when the word ‘feminism’ crossed my mind, but as I looked deeper into the history of women working to create a world that all of us can enjoy, I realized how much they had to fight for things like the right to work whatever profession they wish, the right to own property, the right to hold office, and who knows how much else. With everything that still needs to be done, I wondered what I could do, as one woman, to help bring this world into reality.
I spoke to my mother about this during one of tea times, and she told me that, along with protests, lobbying and all the political aspects that go along with it, there’s also applying the feminist beliefs in a social setting in as respectful a manner as possible, responding with tact appropriate to a given situation. In between sips of chamomile, she said, “If they make an offhand comment, show them that you aren’t comfortable with what they said, preferably in a way that leave great amounts of egg on their face. If they do something inappropriate, be sure to use the proper physical response, like removing yourself from their presence, yelling at the top of your lung, or landing a solid right hook on their jaw. Whatever it takes to show that what they’re doing isn’t proper, that's what must be done”
A few months later, when I went with to a comic convention with Winter Sonata, I got the perfect chance to apply what my mother taught. While we browsed the booths in exhibit hall, I caught someone about to take a a phone snapshot of a cosplayer's posterior without neither her permission nor knowledge. I got footage of him taking the shots, and had my companion run distraction, while I went to inform the cosplayer of what took place, who then went up. As I expected, she was none too happy, and went right to the young man in question to confront him about his actions, with him strongly denying it on front of the growing crowd of onlookers. When I brought out the footage I had taken, I could see his body shake as he said, "So what? With the way she's dressed, she's practically asking for it! Nobody wears that kind of cosplay not wanting attention, right? She should be grateful that people are taking pictures of her! The only thing she's being right now is a hypocritical bitch!"
It was during his ranting and raving that an official arrived inquiring about the hubbub. Not long after, the photo taker was given the boot, and swore we would regret doing what we did. Based on what I learned from my cosplaying companions, he would likely try to portray them as uncouth harpies in the community, and try to get them black listed. That in mind, I did a bit of internet sleuthing, and found not only his identity as a cosplay photographer, but also many of his contacts in social media, including his personal Whinny and Facespace accounts.
Upon finding them, I treated them to a couple pizzas from the local hot spot, and proposed a counter attack: upload the videos to YouTV, share them with everyone connected to him, and ensure that every person, business and convention in the community knows what this man did, along with whatever else they could attain from his previous clientele. After all, when you strike at a person's pride, circle of trust and livelihood, you’re much more likely to sway them into ceasing their course of action. I don’t know what happened after that event, but from what Winter Sonata reported back, his actions spread like wildfire, and lead countless major figures in their field to deny him business, deny him access, and even deny him their time, with him shortly self destructing in very public fashion. I do wish him the best, and wish for him to realize his shortcomings, but I must admit to the news bringing a smile to my face(make of that whatever you will)
It’s a shame, though, that it came to such ugly measures. He was wrong for what he did, certainly, but it’s my belief that a divine mother and father birthed all we know; that within us all is a piece of this divinity that must be respected, no matter if we’re born female or male. This much is why, despite some of the nonsense I see within feminism, I still hold it close to my heart. I hope that one day, someone like Winter Sonata will be able to walk down the street in what she had on, and not worry about it leading to an assault because they respect her enough as a human being being not to. I realize far off this dream is, but you know what they say: when you aim for the stars, you’ll soon scrape the skies