We join our...I don’t think heroes is quite the right word, is it?
"Oh for Helix's sake, not you all again..." Applejack muttered. "As if sitting here waiting for the damn train with three excitable fillies and a flaming psychopath isn’t bad enough."
"You know, if the Writer hadn’t muzzled my powers for trying to kill him, you'd be dead..."
The mare and villain was busy waiting with the Cutie mark Crusaders for a train coming from Manehatten...well, you read the title, you know who's on the way.
"No, I don't Writer." Bob growled. "Why am I here again?"
Because I don’t do enough with you and I needed one of the BnG cast members here for this.
"Why not use Ran?" Applebloom asked as she looked down the track for the Manehatten train.
Because who wouldn’t use Ran for this? It’s predictable. As Applebloom prepared her comeback, the train finally came in.
"God...I feel my Masculinity fading every second I'm in the hell hole...and I know hell holes well." Bob groaned as the unbelievably girly train pulled in.
By the way, AJ, what do you think the Crystal Empires train looks like?
"Uh...I rightly have no idea, probably all lovey dovey or something" the Cowgirl- "Do I look like a Cow to you?" THE COWGIRL SHRUGGED.
"Found her! Over here Babs!" Applebloom called to an orange earth pony filly with a short pinkish red mane and tail.
The young pony slowly walked up to the group. "h-Hey, what’s up Cuz’s?"
"Oh god I can feel the Brooklyn rage jokes coming..."
"Quiet you!" Applejack shushed the grey inferno.
"Nice nickname."
Thanks, I've been taking classes.
"Anyway," Applebloom butted in, “can’t wait to show ya something, come on!" with that, the crusader began dragging a thoroughly confused Babs with her.
"Hey! Who’s gonna help me carry her bags!?"
Bob is.
"WHAT!?'
In the lab, Protoman and Twilight were busy doing work. And by work, I mean killing Ran.
"STOP KILLING ME YOU CAPITALIST PIGS!"
"Technically, the way Celestia rules this place would make Twi a Commie." Protoman corrected the commiebot as Twilight dropped a feather on him.
"Whatever! Stop killing me!" Ran yelled as soon as he came back.
"Ran, we thought you would perma die if you died here, we're just making up for lost time." After the rest of the cast came back, everyone tried to keep Ran from dying, as the regenerator system that sent in new Ran's was in a different universe. Luckily, an incident involving copious amounts of noodles and muffins fixed that issue, as Ran came back like normal.
As they continued with their fun, Scootaloo ran in...Wait why is Scootaloo here?
"Hey Dad, where's my cape? I need it for crusading business."
Wait...DAD?
"You left it in the hall. Roll put it on the table." Ran informed her before getting tapped...wait, why would Scootaloo have her cape here?
"Found it! Thanks Ran!"
...No, seriously, what the hell is going on? Someone had better answer or I'm throwing hammers!
"Alright, stay safe Scoots." Proto said as he...what.
*Poof*
"Ok, what the hell happened to make Scootaloo call Protoman dad? Because I did NOT plan that!" The Writers Avatar asked.
Ran frowned "You don’t remember? It was on your birthday...You had a few drinks..."
"Not ringing any bells..."
"You shouted 'DRUNK WRITING' and through an amazingly badly written saga had Bob of all folks kill off Scoots parents after making them incredibly abusive to the poor filly..." Twilight spoke up.
"By the way, I still hate you." Scootaloo directed at me.
"Anyway, I felt kinda bad, so you made it where I could adopt her..." Protoman finished.
"So essentially almost every Scootabuse/adopt fic where her parents were killed in front of her, but with Protoman?"
"Well, Yeah. Pretty much."
"And this happened two months ago?"
"Uh huh."
"...Did I publish it?"
"No, you then shouted 'I will now continue Ponymon Adventure' and then fainted in your vomit" Protoman deadpanned. "Brought back some fun memories."
"...Well okay then. As long as I don’t go sappy in this fic, I'm good." with that, the Writer Avatar poofed out of the story.
"Well...that aside, what are you up to anyway?"
"...You didn’t hear the theme song? We have to do a Very Special Episode today."
"Death subject?"
"Bullying."
"Ah. Diamond Tiara?"
"Uh huh. Applebloom's cousin is supposed to join their-"
STOP SPOILING THE STORY!
"What does it matter, almost everyone reading this has had to have seen this ep a few times, just for our song."
"Wait...What song? There’s singing in this show?"
"Yeah, me and the crusaders are supposed to do a pretty cool music number. Are you gonna watch?"
Ugh, I'm gonna transition before I lose my lunch...
At the Crusader Base, aka the Clubhouse, our filly heroes were busy showing Babs around.
"This is where we figure out how we're gonna get our cutie marks!" Bloom happily stated. "Over there is our good idea spot!"
"We get really good ideas here!" Scootaloo noted.
"Over here," Applebloom pointed, "is where we get our snacks."
Getting the hint, the other two crusaders moved to the aforementioned area, where Sweetie belle mimed eating food. And then began choking on said imaginary food.
"Heh heh, nice joke, "Applebloom giggled, "but we have more to show her."
Sweetie did not stop choking.
"...Ya can't be that stupid..."
"Hey guys," Mega greeted the fillies. "What’s going on her-OOH AIR!" rushing forward to the imaginary and began trying to scarf it down. Before long, he began choking too.
"Mega Man! You don’t even need to breath, how are you choking!?"
"Does...this happen often?" Babs asked her cousin.
"...Yes."
"Well, it’s a step up from playing a fillies trading card game to save the world." Babs shrugged. "Anywho's, why'd ya bring me here?"
"Oh right! We want to induct you as a Member!"
Babs face told a thousand stories. Many involving horrendous incidents started by that same sentence. Unfortunately, we don’t have time for those stories, so let’s just ignore them.