I stood outside a tall theater, windows dimly lit and giving off the look of candlelight to the passerby. I, however, have been to this theater enough times to know that those were just the flicker of old lights thanks to the rather cheap lighting.
I don't hate the building, quite the opposite in fact; it's one of the only places I can truly relax without worries and wind down to the beautiful sound of the symphony. I have many, many memories of this place: some are of me crying from either the beautiful symphony or just me releasing pent up emotions, and some are of me flustered thanks to the ignorance of others, but all are one in the same, because in the end, I am happy.
But those memories are of the past. I am one who savors those moments but chooses to live on in the future constantly thinking about those past memories; after all, mistakes are the best rule book to live by, not that I make any, just something one of my few and cherished friends told me.
He's a wise fellow indeed, more of a philosopher in my opinion.
I shook my head a bit, trying to escape the thoughts and focus on the present.
I was outside one of my favorite theaters waiting in a rather extensive line to get in and immerse myself in my favourite type of music, but I couldn't help but feel that I was being watched. I had had that feeling ever since I walked out onto the streets, and I had attempted to shrug off the feeling earlier, but nothing seemed to work. I pushed the thoughts aside as best I could, hoping that getting inside the theater would help dilute the feeling.
"Good night again, Miss Melody, come to see another performance?" The stallion stationed at the entrance asked, giving a small and friendly smile.
"Of course I am." I said simply, trying my best not to show that I had forgotten the stallion's name. I gave a small smile to him, a fairly small smile, but a friendly one none the less as I hoofed over the exact amount of bits -- I had the price memorized by heart..
He moved to the side slightly and I slid past him into the lobby of the theater.
I entered the main stairwell of the lobby and took a second to take in the familiar scenery of the old theater: worn wooden chairs, vintage couches, old paintings, even the smell of the place had a rather 'old' smell to it. After taking it in, I began my trot over to the stairs and made my ascent to the seating area: I had always sat on the upper rows when listening was the main reason that I had come.
As I trotted slowly over to the best seat in the theater, I crossed a rather 'dense' stallion. He wore a black suit with no tie, with a matching black hat with a white band wrapped around the top. Not only was his sense in fashion odd, but he was also leaving the theater just as the show was about to begin.
He held his head low and he eyes were obscured in the slightest way by a small pair of glasses. That combined with his rather over-sized hat made just about everything above his nose was barely visible. As we passed I felt I slight shudder as the stalked feeling returned in full force, only this time it was much more intense; it felt as though I was targeted in some way.
I didn't have much time to think about or look more into his appearance, since a few other ponies were approaching behind me to get to their seats, so I made my way over to a row that held a spot I had selfishly claimed as "mine."
I found that 'my' seat was taken up by a rather cute looking set of mares. An earth pony that had a rather curly two tone mane consisting of a light pinkish color with a bland looking blue, one that contrasted nicely with her cream coat, and a cutie mark that was made up of three pieces of candy. I assumed she had a confectionery related occupation.
Sitting next to her in a rather odd fashion was a mint green unicorn with a two tone mane of a teal-ish green and white, her cutie mark was a lyre --or was it a harp? --and I recognized her from my own symphony. What was her name? Lira? No, no. Ah! Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings, and if my ears didn't deceive me when I dropped in on her conversations from time to time, this was her mare-friend, Bon-Bon.
Filly-fooling was looked down upon highly by most of the elite, but ever since the Princess herself spoke up in defense for all filly-foolers, the elite stopped harming them directly, but just stooped lower and hurt them with their most powerful weapon: Finance.
The elite harmed most filly-foolers with indirect punishment to their jobs. Yes this hurt them, but it was far from stopping them. I gave her a small wave which she returned to me, along with her mare-friend, and a small smile on their face, they soon after turned and gave each other a small peck on the cheek.
Love, it is one of, if not, the most powerful force that has ever existed, and always will be as long as beings exist among themselves.
I passed through the aisles and eventually found a suitable seat just as the symphony began its performance.
The first song I remembered immediately as it was a song that I myself had practiced today in my concert warm-ups a few days prior, this however didn't bring back the most enjoyable of memories.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*...Earlier in the day...*~~~*~~~*~~~*
I walked backstage of my Symphony's allocated practice building, a former fitness center that had been run down but had been renovated into a place where the Symphony could practice with great acoustics. I set my cello in its locker and began my walk back to the assembly room when I was halted by the persistent violinist by the name of Soprano Strings.
"Why hello dear Octavia." He began in a supposedly romantic tone. "Looking as bright and lovely as Celestia's sun itself."
I turned and faced the violinist and merely shook my head in dismay as his 'seductive' smile turned into a grimace. I turned and walked the rest of the way to the assembly room that held the rest of my Symphony's members. I quickly made my way to my close group of friends who consisted of three ponies: Harpo Nadermane, Frederic, and Beauty Brass.
"Hello," I said as I trotted over, happy to be away from Soprano. "How are you all?"
"Doing lovely Octavia," Frederic replied smiling warmly. "I trust you are as well?"
"As well as I can be." I sighed, trying to leave out the recent encounter, but Beauty was smarter than that.
"He really does want you Octavia and in more ways than one too" Beauty chuckled before receiving a nudge from her 'special' friend Harpo, who chuckled before speaking.
"Beauty, please don't tease her like that, you know she doesn't like it." She sighed and apologized just as the conductor came in to inform us on the symphony's concert in a few days.
"Alright everypony," He began.
"As you know we have an upcoming concert in a few days and have a fairly short amount of time to practice so I want you all to split up into our sections and then go retrieve your instruments and practice in your assigned rooms."
We had each been assigned a group depending on our instrument and given a room for our group, since the stringed section was the largest they divided it into two groups itself, one group was with cellos and double basses, the other with violins and violas.
We all sighed deeply as we set up in out room and began to play it four or five times in our groups before playing the piece twice together as a whole. This process usually took about an hour or two.
We ended the practice early so I decided to ask my friends if they wanted to accompany me to the theater. Harpo and Fredric said they were going to a bachelor party for a relative of Harpo's and Beauty said that she would come later, as she had to stop by a dress shop for the wedding and drop it off at her and Harpo's house before she could join me. I told her that I would see her later and headed back to my house before heading to The Grande.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*...Now...*~~~*~~~*~~~*
The fifth song was coming to an end as I spotted Beauty wandering through the rows, I cautiously waved her down, careful not to disturb anyone around me. She saw the wave and trotted past a few ponies and took a seat next to me, smiling.
"Hey Octavia." she whispered in my ear " I got here just in time for the last piece." She said in a somewhat tired voice
"Glad you could make it." I said quietly as I gave her a smile, cutting the conversation short so we didn't disturb anyone around us.
We sat in mostly silent for the rest of the concert, giving occasional silent feedback about some of the songs to each other. Though, Beauty had to excuse herself from the theater after a good two hours claiming that she had an appointment with another dress maker.
She was always like this when it came to any kind of event that she deemed dress worthy. Purchase at least two dresses from some of the best dress makers in the middle class and one from the upper class, hold the transaction until she compared each dress for herself and decided which looked best, then send the others back and receive a full refund for them.
I never understood her need for the absolute best dress she could acquire, but don't get me wrong, I understand the need for proper fashion at formal times, and embraced it, however I wasn't the type to go overboard like she did.
My ears perked up at the sounding of the last song. As the beginning sounds of the song began to play, my mind began to catch up. The song was a sad one. Especially to me, not only because the song itself was enough to bring any person with a soul to tears, but because I knew this song. It was a song back from when I was still a little filly.
I would always be sent to my grandmothers every time my Mom and Dad got an important business call. My grandmother was the sweetest mare in all of Equestria, far more than any other nanny my parents had hired before, and she was also one of the main reasons I became a musician in the first place.
My grandmother would always play the same song whenever I came over to her house and I would always sit with her while she played it, I can still remember leaning on her shoulder, drifting in and out of sleep, while she played the song on her piano.
Tears welled up in my eyes as the memories of the last words my grandmother came back, those words I will never forget.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*...*~~~*~~~*~~~*
"Octavia, I want to tell you something that my mother told me, and I told yours," An old mare, riddled with age and wrinkles that gave her a wise appearance, spoke softly from a hospital bed.
"It goes something like 'Life is a song, one that you make yourself, and love is like the lyrics that can only be added by another that you must choose.'" My grandmother said, a faint smile gracing her lips as she held my chin up.
"Or something like that. Heck I can't remember half the things I did just yesterday." She add with a chuckle before closing her eyes with a smile on her face.
My tears ran freely now, she peaked open one eye and looked at me for the final time, a cocky grin now on her face.
"You will find your lyrics...it might be awhile, but you will find them someday." I pressed my face into my hooves as I cried at her words. That is, until a weak hoof lifted my gaze back up and into her eyes.
"And they will be beautiful..." She closed her eyes once more, a tear in her eye and the same smile still on her face. I could only lean into her and sob until tears could no longer flow. I felt a hoof on my shoulder and looked up to see my father, no tears on his face, but a look of deep sadness.
"Let her rest..." I didn't protest, I couldn't, my throat hurt too much from the sobbing, so he eventually picked me up and brought me back to the carriage.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*...*~~~*~~~*~~~*
As much as I hate recalling those times, I can't really control when I do. The music that I learned from her will never be forgotten, I would make sure of that. Though it may not be famous, it was better than any other melody that I had ever heard. I got up from the theater and made my way out into the cold, tears still on my face.
As I joined the mass of ponies slowly walking out of the theater, many tear soaked as well, I only wanted one thing.
A relief from this ache in my heart.
They say that some get a bit "out of shape" when desperation comes, and for once in my depression filled mind, I considered doing the one thing I swore I would never do.
I considered drinking.
I never drank, never have, and never considered it until now, though I have heard that your supposed to drink when you get sad, something about it helping cope with the pain and sorrow, so I decided I would try it. But only just enough to get me out of my sad comatose.
I headed into the direction of a nearby bar or club, I never understood the difference but I never asked. Though this trip would not end nearly as I had thought it would.