//------------------------------// // New Stuff, New Land, Same Old Saxxy people. // Story: Of mercenaries and.... Ponies? // by Lion Tale //------------------------------// Engineer was busy repairing the teleportation pad to get home. It was in a very bad condition, to the point of black smoke coming out from the main frame whenever it gets used. As Engineer pulled his wrench unto another bolt to tighten it, he couldn’t help but think about the next assignment they were handed. It was unusual, but the weirdest thing about it was that they were headed back to the site where they had gone before. He thought they were headed to new places like Japan, China, Europe, or even Antarctica! He never thought he would be filled with wanderlust even once in his life, but since he joined the BLU Company, it was just only New Mexico. It was very dull and just only sands everywhere. I wonder if everyone else feels the same, maybe even Heavy. Engineer turned another bolt around in a one hundred and eighty degree angle, thus finishing the last bolt. He looked outside and then his mini-computer on his wrist gave him a message. Here’s what it had said; Dear members of the BLU Company, You are to be sent to an area you know as Harvest. There, you shall defeat the RED Company in an attempt to own the land. This mission will be basic and simple, and thus shall be treated as so. We have a surprise waiting for thee, but you must keep your mind on the task at hoof- err, I mean hand. Capture the point and the glory shalt be thine. -Signed by your boss. Engineer looked at the message carefully, there seemed to be a bit of old English. Like something from an old story. Something about our new boss seems weird. Engineer thought. Seems to be on the crazy side, if he is, then we ought to be careful on what assignments he gives us. Engineer carefully took apart the pads for easier storage. He knew that he had to get to Harvest fast, just so that everyone can be there at once and not be late. The Texan changed his mini-computer’s interface to where it was a map of where he’s heading. As Engineer packed his things, he took a look back at his home, remembering the lady’s message of telling him he won’t be back for a very long time, and then drove off into the dusty, gritty sands of the blazing midday. (……….) Sniper drove his van along the road and noticed an odd cloud standing in the middle of the grey sky. It was just standing there, although it should be moving like the other around it. But the weirdest part was that it had a yellow steak at two ends of it, like that of a blonde woman with long hair. Sniper shrugged it off at the fact that maybe he being delusional. He looked up again and saw that it was no longer there. See? Just a figment of your imagination, you can’t be suffering from anything right? He looked back at road and then slammed hard on the brakes. There, sitting at the road, was a large crate that had a logo imprinted unto it. The logo was something he had never seen, but Sniper was able to accurately tell what it said. As delivered by Derpy the mailmare? Sniper scratched his head. Where did this crate come from? Sure as hell that it didn’t just appear here. I should’ve seen it while driving. Sniper took a look at his watch. A quarter past! Blimey! I’ve been here for way too long! Sniper took another look at the crate, and decided that he should put it into his van for safe keeping. Or maybe open it right now! Sniper tried to hold back his excitement, but it wasn’t enough to prevent him from grabbing a crowbar and break open the mysterious box. As he popped off the lid, he noticed two things; first, the weapon design was different from any other weapon he has ever seen; and two, it had a glowing purple aura surrounding it. He came with only one conclusion about it. “It’s an unusual,” Sniper whispered quietly. “I wonder what it does.” At closer inspection, it looked like his regular sniper rifle, but it had a bit more of a cartoon touch; like something from Pyroland. Although he had the goggles, he currently didn’t have them on, and if he did, this fantasy is just too realistic. The Bushman felt around his face just to make sure. Suddenly, he remembered that he was supposed to be at Harvest by now. Sniper quickly threw the gun next to his Huntsman, and then hopped to the wheel, speeding as fast as he can. Several minutes later, he was greeted by the sound of explosions and gunshots that rang around the barren landscape. He knew that he was late, so he had brought all the weapons from his vehicle into the spawn room. BLU Spy was the first to see him rushing towards the small shed. He scoffed at Sniper for being unprofessional with his time, and openly told him that he should try the teleportation pads. “I don’t need any help from those pads,” Sniper snapped. “I got my trustworthy Rover, and it’s going to stay that way.” “Alright,” Spy pulled out his Dead Ringer. “Suit yourself, wouldn’t want you to be like Scout over there.” Then pointed to a corner where said person was. Sniper chuckled at his remark and then looked at where Spy was pointing. There, he saw that Scout was rocking back and forth on the floor with his thumb in his mouth. In front of him was a scattergun, but it was sky blue with a design that was made up of a cloud and a rainbow lightning bolt. Sniper couldn’t tell if this was an accident, or if this was a cruel prank. The latter seemed more likely. The Australian walked towards Scout and then gave him a pat on the back. “Hey there,” Sniper said. “No need to be worried.” He picked up the scattergun and then threw it to an opposite corner. Scout stopped rocking and looked up at Sniper. “There, you see? Gone. Now, let’s go, and kill the RED team!” Scout stood up and then grabbed his weapons. He chuckled, “Yea, thanks pal. I think this is the second time I owe you?” “Who’s keeping track?” Scout ran out into the battlefield, with a new sense of determination. Yea, his dignity has been a bit crushed, but at least he no longer had to mess with that weapon. Scout shuddered at the thought of ever using that weapon. He thought it would be better to just use his fists if would mean that he would never touch it again. (……) Somewhere in the clouds over watching the battlefield, a dark blue alicorn was preparing a spell she has been attempting for a long time. The planning was perfect; the mercenaries wouldn’t even notice what was going on, the landscape wouldn’t change much, and soon, Equestria would be hers for the taking. She laughed at the thought of seeing many of the ponies falling into her hooves, bowing to her for her mercy, their petty attempts to have at least a glimpse of a sunrise, and the look on her sister’s face when she finds out the true meaning of her plans. Oh could this day get any better? She had planned for something bigger, but this is only a small-scale. Oh Nightmare Moon, can you get any cleverer? She looked into the battlefield, and the first thing she finds is Scout running from a volley of rockets from a RED Soldier’s Black Box. The alicorn sighed; she has taken a liking for Scout, but in a sense for him to be one of her favorites. Then she looked towards a fleeing RED Sniper, who happened to explode from a Demoman’s Quickiebomb Launcher. Nightmare Moon flinched, she didn’t take into consideration how barbaric these humans are, but, a team is a team. Finally, she took a look at a BLU Medic who was petting a dove. Maybe not all of these people are as barbaric as I thought for them to be. She then finished the spell that will teleport all of these people to where she wanted them to be at; a farm known to the locals as Sweet Apple Acres. Nightmare Moon then made more cloud coverage as to not let any of the mercenaries become suspicious as what was going on. Once that was done, she finally started to chant a thousand year old incantation to completely finish the spell. (…......) Sniper took a shot from his brand-new sniper rifle. He loved it, from the texture of the butt, to the feel of the recoil. It was made as though it was crafted from himself to his standards. Even his Fortified Compound didn’t give out the same luxury. He quickly reloaded it in record time, faster than usual, and gave out another shot, hitting the RED Soldier right in the pelvis. That’s going to hurt, but I’m getting reckless. Need to be up higher. Sniper then finished the job by hitting the Soldier in the middle of the forehead, which in the end caused him to erupt into flames. Got the bugger, but not quite what I was expecting. Sniper then shot a couple more rounds into the throng of mercenaries crowding around the center shed. He then coincidentally looked up to the sky to see a dark-blue horse with a horn and… wings? Sniper then tried to yell out to the crowd of people, but suddenly, there was a white flash and the ground suddenly turned green. He looked around, the central shed was still there, but it was more, well, colorful. Then he turned his eyes to the house on the opposite side, once again, more colorful. It was like looking through Pyrovision but without the goggles. The Australian was stunned by this sudden change in scenery, it was beautiful. But his attention then turned back into the battle and started to release rounds once again. (….) Later, the RED had once again captured and kept the central point. Being disappointed once again by their failure, BLU team slowly marched back towards their spawn points, being absolutely oblivious to the huge change in scenery. The only people noticing were Sniper and obviously the Pyro. Although she never took off the mask, Pyro noticed the change in the oxygen around her and how she felt grass again after the boring, lifeless sands of New Mexico. She started to wander away from the crowd and was not noticed until the Medic said, “Look! Does anyone have any idea where the Pyro is going?” Everyone shrugged their shoulders and started to step on the pads to get home, but they were interrupted by the Engineer. “Guys, stop! The pads do not work! Trust me, I’ve tried, but it only leads me back here.” Both teams groaned in agony at the thought of walking towards a bus stop, but finally realized that they are no longer in Harvest. Soldier had dropped a cigar he was chewing on and then said, “Men, get your money ready cause we’re headin’ into town. No if’s, and’s, or but’s. We’re goin’.” So then the teams decided why not, and then walked behind Soldier who was leading the group. As they reached the outskirts of town, a dark blue smoke appeared. The teams grew curious and then started to grow a terrified as the smoke materialized into a dark-blue alicorn. First thing Soldier did when he saw this was to put both hands over his groin in an attempt to protect them by any means necessary. The alicorn blushed and then opened her wings wide just so it can look bigger than it should. It then spoke in a feminine voice, “Welcome, to the world of Equestria!” She cackled. “Thine name Nightmare Moon and ye shall address me as so. Now, who is the RED team?” A row of hands rose up almost immediately. “Good,” She grinned, causing her fangs to show, making the Soldier put his helmet over his groin. She continued, “Because you’re my Company. Now, from- “ “Nightmare Moon! Come face us, the Elements of Harmony that is!” Nightmare Moon was interrupted by the said group. As she turned around, not only that she saw the six Elements, but she also saw her sister along with; Princess Celestia. “Ah, so good to see thy sister, how art thine grey hairs?” “I will not fall for your antics, and you also leave me with no other choice but to use the Elements on you.” “Ah, but sister, I have a small mercenary army waiting at my disposal.” Nightmare Moon beckoned towards the RED team, who seemed to be ready to get back into battle any time soon. Princess Celestia swallowed a lump in her throat, but then she noticed the small number and then relaxed a little. “They are no match for my Royal Guards.” “Ah, but’s where the fun begins, you also get a small mercenary army. BLU team, please walk towards your new company leader, Princess Cuntlestia.” The BLU team reluctantly walked towards the white alicorn, and then stood while their new boss was angered by the insult. “I don’t tolerate such names that describe one ’s self.” A silence lingered between the two goddesses after the comeback. .. .. .. Until Scout had to say something. “Looks like someone needs some aloe vera cuz’ someone just got burned!” Suddenly, the two human teams erupted into laughter, but it quickly died away as they looked at their new bosses. Nightmare Moon couldn’t help but giggle a bit, but Princess Celestia was completely serious on the subject. Meanwhile, the Elements were trying so hard on not to say anything to cause a war between the two, but they knew it couldn’t be avoidable. “So, I got dibs on the thing that spoke,” Rainbow Dash whispered to Pinkie Pie. “What about you?” “I got the thing with the mask, he looks interesting,” the pink mare replied. “Are you sure it’s a stallion?” “No idea…” Pinkie trailed off. “You think it’s a better idea if all of us talked to the BLU team since they’re on our side?” The sky coloured pegasus said. “Maybe, but I’m getting a Pinkie Sense about the masked thingamabob.” “What does it say?” “It’s not going to be quite what I expected. Is it a surprise? I sure do love surprises! They’re so much fun! I really hope it’s a birthday present, oh wait, that’s in two months! Silly me, I should remember dates more often. Oooh! That means I can plan my birthday party to be even better! And then….” Rainbow Dash stopped listening to Pinkie, and started to take a look at the ‘Thing That Spoke’. That’s what I’m calling it for now. Close enough right? Scout got the feeling he was being watched, so his instinct told him to look around, and found his eyes to meet up the sky-coloured mare. But then, he noticed the rainbow-colored mane. Look away, NOW! Scout then turned around to have a chat with the Pyro –if he can –just so he gets his mind of that pony. Dash thought he had seen her, but she also noticed the look of sudden surprise on his face. Am I that stunning? Did I maybe come on too strong? She sighed; At least I’ll get to talk to him later. “Okay! It’s a deal then!” Nightmare Moon suddenly said, causing everybody/pony to jump. “We have come up with a conclusion, in an act to find out who will get the land fairly, we have declared a war within each other!” The ponies gasped at declaration, including the now appearing audience that just happened to be late to the party, so to speak. “Now don’t worry, we are not going to actually use any ponies for this war, we are going to only use our teams!” She beckoned towards the RED team –who happened to be playing cards –and the BLU team –who happened to be sleeping or talking with each other about the locals. “I’m sorry my fellow subjects, but this was the only way that I can get rid of Nightmare Moon without harming you. So please, bear with me.” Princess Celestia announced. She lowered her voice to a casual speaking level and then turned towards the Elements. “Now, in the agreement, I’ve said I’m going to use our newfound teams, but the compromise I had to do, was that you all were to be a part of the BLU team, which is us. Nightmare Moon said she was going to use changelings, so you might need to be careful when in the matches.” The six sat there, surprised at this new knowledge. I have to fight along with these guys? Sweet! Then I might get the chance to talk with ‘Thing That Spoke’! It’s going to be so AWESOME! Dash thought. Scout then noticed the ‘Rainbow Pony’. That’s what I’m calling it, pretty descriptive don’t you think so mind? I’m so awesome, I wonder if I can make it echo. Echo… (Echo….)I am Sinister…. (I am Sinister…) Saxton HAALLE….. (Saxton HAALLE…..) I love my ball…. (I love my ball….) Anyways, in other news, Scout noticed the “Rainbow Pony’s” excitement and he ‘thought’ it could only mean one thing, that HE had to be with THEM. I’m pretty sure everyone else feels the same except for the Pyro. I’m still wondering what underneath that flame-retardant suit. Pyro tried not to look at Scout, mainly because for one he was looking at her, and two, she is actually going to work with some ponies! Yay! Gotta mark this off the bucket list underneath making a bonfire out of cars, or was it trees? I’m not too sure. For everyone else on the team, they were completely oblivious to the assault on what was going to happen to them. Of course they were made to expect the unexpected, but here, there was nothing to expect. Especially with a jumping pink pony that’s ready to explode with excitement.