Note: This is not the original version of this chapter. If you wish to view the original you can find it here: http://pastebin.com/ccqjPiQU
Stress. Something that I have felt much of in my life, having to work twice as hard for every thing I had. Stressed would probably understate what I was seeing in Twilight. She was acting like her life was resting on a knife edge. The other five mares as well as Spike just sat there rolling their eyes so I assumed this was a common occurrence.
Twilight reminded a lot of my roommate in college. He always was going crazy over being determined to live up to his parent's expectations. Either his parents were extremely strict and unforgiving or he was severely neurotic. It even got to the point where I actually recommended him a psychologist to get mentally assessed. I graduated before the results came back so I'll never really learn what guy's problem was. I'm actually glad that I didn't considering he would of probably accused me of some crazy sinister plan to get him monitored by the government.
While Twilight was freaking out I just sat there and bid my time. The only two outcomes I could imagine occurring were either; 1: Thrown in an insane asylum and brainwashed into forgetting my past life or 2: Thrown in prison for being wrongfully accused of causing this anomaly thing. So either way I'm screwed. Great.
Whoever these princesses were they sure had a reputation. From what Twilight briefly described they were 'the kindest most generous rulers anypony could ask for'. To me that sounded awfully like something an Aryan German would say about Hitler. So while she was having a seizure in the middle of the library I started making mock Nazi salutes. I even considered doing the same to the princesses but decided against it. Apparently kings and queens weren't a thing in Equestria so the highest ranking title was princess.
It was around midday from what I could tell which also meant that the sun decided to shine through on of the windows right into my eyes. This annoyed me to a great extent so I stood up and walked over to the other side of the room being careful to avoid Twilight. I saw that while I did so the other five seemed to be staring at my ass. I gave them a brief glare to alert them that I had noticed which caused them to look away but show no signs of embarrassment. The only reason I could conclude was them noticing my lack of a butt tattoo. 'There is no way in hell anyone is branding me!' I mentally exclaimed as I vowed to slit the throat of anybody I saw with a branding iron.
I began thinking up an escape strategy in case things went south with the princesses. Although I didn't exactly believe my escape would even work, I still would rather be dragged away forcefully than go willingly. Once I formulated a makeshift escape plan that included a window and a very interesting distraction I went back to waiting.
About five minutes later a big white light appeared in the center of the room and when it dissipated two of the tallest ponies I'd ever seen stood in its place. Upon closer inspection I say they had both wings and a horn. 'So they're like some sort of unicorn-pegasus hybrids?' I asked myself.
They were both adorning crowns and peytrals as we'll as shoes of sort that seemed to match royal look so I assumed they were the princesses.
The first one, on the left was a head taller than her counterpart and was a warm shade of cream white. Her mane and tail were multicolored much like those of Rainbow Dash but with softer colors. She had the best poker face I had ever seen and gave off barely any emotion if at all. Still her features displayed grace and authority as you would expect from royalty. I took a small glance at her rear tattoo thingy half expecting to see a swatztica but instead saw a picture of the sun. Assuming this must be 'Celestia' I turned to look at her partner in crime.
Because the first was Celestia the second one had to be Luna. Slightly shorter than her fellow princess she had a deep blue coat with a dark, starry mane and tail that seemed to be a window into the night sky. Her 'tramp stamp' as I was now calling them, was a crescent moon on a black splotchy background. Fitting for a pony named Luna. She, unlike Celestia, displayed more emotion on her face. From what I could tell, her current expression stated wariness. I also noticed that both princesses' manes and tails flowed like a soft breeze was constantly blowing against them. I assumed it was... sigh... magic and left it at that.
"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, how nice to see you!" Twilight exclaimed while preforming what I assumed was the pony equivalent of a bow.
The other five mares followed suit while I decided to just respectfully nod my head in recognition. "Twilight. How nice to see you again," said the princess who I had identified as Celestia. Twilight ran up and nuzzled the princess in what seemed like affection one give to their mother. Celestia showed the tiniest bit of emotion that reflected affection and happiness.
"Tis good to see thee as well dame Twilight, but we are here to discuss with this 'Vladimir'" the other princess, Luna said in what I could only describe as Shakespearean English. Luna turned to me and gave me a look at screamed intrigue. "This must be him," she said.
Luna was baring me down like I was some space alien, which I guess I was, which caused me to become quite uncomfortable. It seemed obvious to me that she had very little social skills.
"Um, hi," I said obviously nervous about the presence of the two rulers of the kingdom.
"I'm Vladimir Korzhakov as you've probably heard. Since I was somehow zapped to wherever the hell this is I've; woken up in a forest, freaked out because I was a pony, slept in a cave, met these six, been accused of insanity several times, and wound up here," I stated trying to tell the events of the past 24 hours as efficiently as possible.
"Good tidings young Vladimir. Thy story is quite intriguing. Thou were not a pony where thou come from?" Luna asked.
"No, I was a human. Humans kind of look like tall, mostly bald apes I guess." I said sadly.
"Tis as we hath feared. Thou were sent here during a dimensional rift that created a rip in space and time. These rifts befall our world every so often, but they only last momentarily and occureth many years apart. Tis the first known occurrence to our knowledge of a living creature passing through a rift. It seems thou were unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. As for why thy body changed, we are unsure. Dimensional magic is quite unpredictable and very little is known of its nature. Thou were likely given a new body at random, it just happened to be that of a pegasus. Thou couldst of been any sentient creature on the planet including an alicorn, or simply ripped to shreds in the weave of space and time. We're sorry, this must be so much to taketh in."
"So, if these 'rifts' only occur years apart and are highly unpredictable, does that mean...?"
"Aye. I'm afraid thou will most likely have to spent the rest of thy mortal days here in Equestria."
"Can't you like magic me back?" I pleaded.
"We're afraid we know of no such spell. Even if we could predict the hour and coordinates of the next rift, there wouldst be a very slim chance thou would be sent back to thy home dimension. Thou wouldst risk becoming lost, perishing, or left alone in a world much less forgiving than this," Luna explained.
"C'mon there has to be something, anything."
"We're afraid not."
I was speechless. My eye started twitching as I tried to register what I had just been told. My old life, as crappy as it was, is now essentially gone forever. Anyone that knew me will assume me dead, and I have no way to tell them that I'm alive. And all because the universe decided to say "Go fuck yourself."
My emotions were fighting a battle. Confusion, sorrow, denial, anger all were fighting to get control. And eventually the anger won out.
Then... I snapped.
"FUCK. THAT. I HAD A LIFE! IT WAS HORRIBLE AS SHIT BUT IT WAS MY LIFE! AND NOW YOUR TELLING ME I HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN WORLD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!!!!! HELL NO!"
I stormed out of the library before anyone could do anything. I stomped angrily towards the town limits muttering profanities under my breath. The ponies all cleared the way for me because no-one wants to confront a guy in full rage mode. I raced out of town towards the forest. It didn't occur to me until now, but the forest was the only thing that actually reminded of me of home. My home. A place I could never return to...
'WHY ME?!! WHY COULDN'T YOU TAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THE SEVEN BILLION PEOPLE ON MY PLANET??!!!! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME???!!!!!
Marching into the forest I walked back towards the general direction of my cave from last night. A millions thoughts of pure rage all consumed me at once. If I had a matchbox and some gasoline I would've probably burned Ponyville to the ground at that point. I wasn't in some stupid coma, I wasn't on some weird drugs, I was in another universe with no way back. And god did it make me angry.
I stopped my search momentarily when I reached the small creek I had stopped at this morning. Glaring at my own reflection made me wish that I could just melt that stupid look off my out-of-proportion face. Even when I tried to look angry and menacing those oversized eyes of mine made me look like a toddler pouting because they had to go to bed. I was just a cutesy, furry abomination and it furthered my already out-of-control temper.
I resumed my search for my cave, which was all I had to call home at the moment. All the while I was angrily muttering, "Stupid ponies, stupid universe, stupid FUCKING EVERYTHING."
After about an hour of searching I came across a cave very similar to the one I was looking for. I crawled inside as the sun dipped below the horizon. Sleep came almost as easy as it had the previous night.
As I drifted off I couldn't help but wander what everyone back in Colorado was thinking. 'Was I presumed dead or just missing? Will they hold a funeral? Not that anyone would come but it would still be a nice sentiment.' Oh what I wouldn't give to just fall asleep and never wake up. But no, I have to live this infuriating new life.
'It's like a nightmare. A nightmare where I can't wake up.'
In A Cemetery In Southern Denver:
While it had been only a day for poor Vlad in Equestria it had been a whole week and a half on Earth. Vladimir Korzhakov was announced missing just 24 hours after he left work on that fateful stormy night. Missing posters were strewn out all across Denver and its metro area. At first they thought he might of been injured during the storm and was taken in by a caring civilian but no-one saw heads or tails of him. After a week of searching and no leads what-so-ever he was labeled as dead. A small tombstone lay in the earth with the inscription:
Vladimir Korzhakov
1993-2014
"Now beside his loving parents where he belongs."
A funeral was held for him two days after he was assumed dead. A few people who knew him like his co-workers, his boss, and a few neighbors from his apartment complex attended. An attempt was made to contact any of his remaining relatives in Russia with no success.
Al Crelin was hit the hardest. He blamed himself for Vlad's death saying that he should of offered him a ride instead of letting him walk off into the storm. Besides reassurances from his family, girlfriend, and co-workers, he still felt slightly guilty. Little did anyone know that old Vlad was still alive and well in a place they could not even begin to comprehend.
On the day Vladimir Korzhakov disappeared it was not the day that he drew his final breath of life but the day he drew his final breath on Planet Earth. He would soon be forgotten entirely, his tiny grave the only reminder that he ever existed.
His sad and pitiful life on Earth had come to an end, but he had been given another chance. Another chance in a world that he never knew existed... and it was up to him to make the best of it.