AAG - That's Some Service!

by NachoTheBrony

Subject: RE: About 'sexytime' provider

Date: 2033/04/14 2100EST
From: Tiberius Swartz, Legal Representative, The Ritz Charlton Hotel Company Equestria <t.swartz@ritz_charlton.co.eq>
To: “Hideki”
CC: “Louise”
Subject: RE: About ‘sexytime’ provider

Thanks for your reassurances, but thankfully one of our interns speaks the language and has assumed translation responsibilities. We are now interested, as the correct translation now includes “we know price will not be an issue with your company, so I am including a fully automated pressure-wash cycle.” We have also received a portfolio from Mrs Miyamoto, where she shows a plethora of organic, minimalistic designs that look more antiseptic than white porcelain.

Besides, that comment about local standards being “latrine-like” rings very true: I went with my wife and arranged to be in opposite sides of the service rooms in the three most expensive spas in Canterlot, and while they are clean and up to standards with the rest of the spa, the male side does have a certain feeling of wrongness that makes you think of an outhouse, and Miriam found the female side to be depressive and claustrophobic. While the rest of the facilities at these spas were pleasant, neither one of us ever wants to enter their service rooms again.

In the meantime, my architectural team has been brainstorming about your sausage links idea. They are already coming up with something resembling Imperial Roman architecture... if the Romans had ever designed a Thermas around two three-level spiral ramp buildings, then built the Pantheon around it.

Unfortunately, we are currently back to the drawing board. We wish to invite you for a week at your soonest convenience, so you can advice us about how you do it in Japan.

Date: 2033/04/14 2103EST
From: Tiberius Swartz, Legal Representative, The Ritz Charlton Hotel Company Equestria <t.swartz@ritz_charlton.co.eq>
To: <spa_manager@ritz_charlton.com.ae>, < spa_manager@ritz_charlton.co.tr>
CC: “Louise”
Subject: our company’s latest project

Mr Recep Gul, Mr Abdullah Erdogan, dear colleagues:
The Equestrian project risks cancellation at great loss for our company.
Mrs Louise McKenzie has recommended you on your experience with gender-segregated spas.
I beg you to arrange a one-week visit to Equestria at your soonest convenience.
I thank you in advance.

Date: 2033/04/14 2106EST
From: Tiberius Swartz, Legal Representative, The Ritz Charlton Hotel Company Equestria <t.swartz@ritz_charlton.co.eq>
To: “Group: Corporate Board of Directors”
Subject: Announcement: major delay

By this means, I need to announce that the Equestriani project needs to push back its opening day for at least a month. This is due to the “service room” situation forcing us to redesign the spa from scratch, enlarging it so much that it pushes a major redesign in the hotel’s public amenities and backstage.
To prevent even more delays, I wish to request the presence of the Corporate Director of Spa services, to be with us for two to three weeks.