You Say Tomato, I Say Tamater

by Scantrel


The Science of the Lands

The door to the Golden Oaks Library glowed with a faint purple aura before it was flung open violently, smashing into the wall. Unlike the previous times this had happened, however, no rainbow-maned pegasus was involved.

Twilight burst into the room, looking around for her number one assistant. "Spike! Spiiiike!" Twilight called out. "I need you, it's urgent!"

Spike came rushing down the stairs, rubbing at his eyes to shake the last vestiges of his interrupted nap out of them. "Twilight, what's wrong? Is it Timberwolves? Parasprites?" Spike gulped. "An...an Ursa Minor?"

Twilight blinked at Spike with surprise, before her serious expression softened. "Oh...no, nothing like that! I just need you to go and pull all of the books on gardening and horticulture and bring them to the table in the study room."

Spike crossed his arms and cocked his head and gave Twilight a mild scowl. "Seriously? All of that fuss for this? I know we were one day late on the last re-shelving day, but I don't think that constitutes an emergency."

Twilight giggled and walked over to give Spike an apologetic hug. "I'm sorry, I just got a little excited. And no, we're not re-shelving again. I'm starting a new research project to grow a vegetable garden."

Spike returned the embrace, then let go to walk to the shelves containing the books Twilight had requested. "A garden? Why don't you just talk to Applejack?" he called over his shoulder as he climbed up the ladder for the first tome.

"Oh, I did. In fact, I ended up making a bet with her who could grow the biggest tomato," Twilight replied.

"You made a bet against Applejack on growing plants?" Spike asked, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice. He climbed down from the ladder, setting down the book he had taken from the shelf and walked back over to Twilight and put one claw against her forehead. "Hmmm...I don't feel any fever," Spike said.

Twilight rolled her eyes at Spike. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Spike grinned at Twilight, "It means I need to see if anypony is taking odds." Spike drew his claw back and went back to his task to fetch the rest of the books.

Twilight shot Spike a dirty glance, then headed down to the basement to gather the equipment she needed, referencing her mental checklist. She wanted to get a good head start on testing soil conditions, the average duration of direct sunlight, and a host of other variables.

It took Twilight the better part of an hour to assemble all of the equipment and re-route the wiring from the basement up to the sensors she had placed around the patch of ground she had set aside for her garden and get the equipment running. While she waited for the initial data collection to finish, Twilight levitated over the first book from the stack that Spike had arranged on the table in the study room and dove into her reading eagerly.

Twilight quickly became engrossed in her research, so much so that when she finally drew her attention out of the book she was reading, the sun had started its slow descent over the horizon as Celestia made way for the coming night. Twilight levitated the book back onto the table with the others and rushed downstairs into the basement to review the preliminary findings.

It didn't take Twilight long to isolate a few issues that needed to be addressed for the optimal growing solution. Happily, all but one could easily be rectified with either tools or simple spells. Twilight walked back up the stairs, looking around for Spike.

"Spike? Can you come take a letter to the Princess for me?" Twilight called out.

"Sure thing, Twilight!" came the quick reply. Spike fetched a parchment and quill and nodded his readiness to take the dictation.

Twilight cleared her throat slightly before beginning.

Dear Princess Celestia,

As part of a continuing research project on horticulture, I have determined that the amount of direct sunlight over Ponyville is not optimal for growing fruits and vegetables. I would request, if possible, that the duration of early morning sunlight be extended by 27 minutes. I am certain that this minor alteration to the

"Wait, are you serious?" Spike interrupted, lowering the parchment. "Are you actually thinking about asking Princess Celestia to change the path of the sun for your garden?"

Twilight paused as she reconsidered the idea. After a moment, Twilight blushed, a sheepish expression forming over her muzzle. "A little over the top?" Twilight inquired. The look on Spike's face was answer enough.

"Disregard that letter then. I should get ready to go see the girls, we're meeting for dinner at Fluttershy's place," Twilight said, trying not to sound too awkward before heading upstairs to freshen up.

Spike crumpled up the parchment, tossing the wad into a trash bin near Owlowiscious' perch. "Some days, I worry about her," Spike said out loud.

"Hoo?" Owlowiscious hooted in response.

"Exactly," Spike nodded in agreement.


The dinner party at Fluttershy's cottage had been wonderful, with everypony eating their fill of the new recipe that Fluttershy had prepared, a very tasty Gratin Dauphinoise that incorporated two varieties of potato. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie had excused themselves to the kitchen to put away the dishes and prepare some after-dinner tea while the remainder of the group settled down in the main room to chat.

"So, Twilight, I hear you are venturing into cultivating a vegetable garden of your own?" Rarity asked.

"That's right, I am," Twilight confirmed.

Rarity's eyes glimmered a little, as if she were savoring a particularly juicy piece of gossip for dessert. "I also understand that there is a modest wager riding on the outcome?"

Twilight did a slight double-take, before recovering. "Where did you hear that, Rarity?"

Rarity gave a wan little smile. "Oh darling, you know news travels fast here." Rarity's gaze drifted lightly over Rainbow Dash for a moment. "One could even say it travels in ten seconds flat."

Twilight turned her attention to Rainbow Dash, who was hovering beside Applejack. "And how did you hear that, Rainbow?" Twilight pressed.

"It's prolly because somepony was hangin' around sleepin' all day in the trees at Sweet Apple Acres while I was gettin' things set up." Applejack replied, giving Dash a playful grin.

"I was not sleeping all day!" Rainbow Dash started to protest, but the looks from the others quickly shot down her objection. "OK, I wondered what Applejack was doing, and so I asked and I may have said something to Fluttershy before she went to the spa with Rarity," Rainbow Dash confessed.

Twilight chuckled, "It's not a problem, girls. I just find it funny you all have such an interest in this little bet. It can't be that interesting, can it?"

"It's super-duper fun!" Pinkie Pie chimed in as she and Fluttershy came back from the kitchen with a pot of tea and six cups. "It's the ultimate throw-down between Alicorn magic versus Earth pony tradition! We should totally have a killer tomato party to celebrate the competition," Pinkie added, beaming a bright smile.

"Oh goodness, that makes it seem so serious," Fluttershy commented, starting to pour tea around for everypony.

Applejack held a hoof over her cup. "None for me sugarcube, I gotta head on back to the farm, I have bedtime stories to read an' it's already gettin' late."

"That's sweet, Applejack," Twilight smiled. "I would have thought that Apple Bloom was past the age for wanting a bedtime story."

Applejack shook her head lightly. "It ain't for her, it's for Toby, Tomas, and Terry."

"For who?" Rainbow Dash asked in a confused tone.

"For the tamater plants! Oh my stars, those little fellers are just so cute! It's their first night out in the field, an' I jus' wanted them to feel all comfortable-like." Applejack said a little dreamily.

"Oooo-kay," Rainbow Dash said. "That's a little weird, AJ."

Applejack just scoffed at Rainbow Dash before giving each of her friends a quick hug good night. "I'll see y'all around tomorrow after chores. Y'all sleep well t'night!" Applejack then made her way to the door and departed, leaving five sets of surprised glances in her wake.

Rarity broke the silence after a minute. "Well, I trust she knows what she's doing. What about you Twilight? Everything going according to plan?"

Twilight sipped the last of her tea and levitated the cup down to the saucer. "So far, yes. I actually need a little of Rainbow Dash's time soon regarding rain clouds, but otherwise everything is doing just fine."

"That's good, Twilight," Fluttershy said softly. "I just hope you don't get too disappointed if things don't turn out as you expect."

"Why wouldn't they?" Twilight asked, looking over at Fluttershy.

"Oh, no, I'm sure they will!" Fluttershy stammered hastily. "I just remember how huge that apple was that they grew for the Appleoosa State Fair." Fluttershy involuntarily licked her lips, as she started to drool a little. "That enormous, ripe, juicy....apple," Fluttershy cooed lovingly.

Twilight and Rarity glanced over at each other, then at Rainbow Dash, who just shrugged. Twilight then turned back and smiled at Fluttershy.

"I appreciate you looking out for my feelings, Fluttershy, but I have every confidence that I'll prevail." Twilight assured her confidently. Glancing around, Twilight noticed each of her friends avoiding her gaze.

Twilight took a moment to study the face of each of her friends. "Wait...none of you think I have a chance?" Twilight asked and was rewarded with four sets of eyes looking down or away. Eventually Rarity looked back up at Twilight.

"It's not that we don't believe in you dear, it's just that well...this is Applejack's forte, after all." Rarity replied with a little embarrassed cough.

Twilight drew herself up sharply. "I see," she said coolly. "I should turn in, thank you for dinner, Fluttershy." With that, Twilight turned to leave for the night.

"Oh, Twilight, please don't..." Fluttershy started, but Twilight didn't acknowledge Fluttershy, opening the door with her magic and passing through quickly before shutting the door behind herself.

The awkward silence lingered over the living room like a shadow, before Rainbow Dash finally spoke up. "Oops?" she said to nopony in particular.