//------------------------------// // A Dramatic Turn Of Events // Story: I Present To You: New Capteinia! // by Madame Hellspawn //------------------------------// The Engineer stumbled around in the snow, trying to navigate through the thick forest he found himself in. In his hand was a sharpened stick that he pulled off of one of those wooden wolves that attacked him earlier. Damn beasts  broke off one of the filters on his mask, and damn near cracked his goggles. He was lucky to have even gotten out of that battle alive, but he learned quickly that one swift kick on the head or joints could easily incapacitate or dismantle them completely. Still, he continued to grab the sharpest stick he could find in the piles and completely left the area, running for his life. Even though the wooden creatures were no longer chasing him, he still heard their growls and clamping jaws in his ears, and that was reason enough for him to be running the way he was. What he was still trying to make sense of was why he was suddenly in a forest. It didn’t make sense to him. First of all, how was there any vegetation around him? Last time he remembered, the world had been reduced to ash and dust, courtesy of the friendly neighborhood Captain and his minion, Pilot. Second, where the hell was he? Of course Sniper had to find some vortex, and of course Pilot had to be the idiot to push them in. Was this some parallel dimension, or some new planet untouched by any real forms of life? Unlikely, but plausible. Or, the vortex could have transported them to some other part of the planet. At this point he figured anything was possible. That crimson mass he encountered a little while ago that was on Sniper made it very clear that anything was possible. Third; how the hell did he survive that fall? Upon entering the vortex, he remembered falling from an incredible height, flung out like a ragdoll that a child decided to throw like a football. He got caught in a few branches, but eventually landed on his head, the force of the landing itself should have cracked the bones in his neck. Then the wolves made an attempt to eat him, which resulted in his sprint away from them. And that’s how Engineer--nicknamed Engie by his ‘friends’--got to where he was now. Running in some snow covered forest looking for a place that could grant sufficient warmth. Rips in his jacket and pants allowed for the cold winds of winter to seep in and chill him deep to the very bone. His movements were stiff, but quick enough for him to continue through the woods without any problems. The buckets that sat underneath each tree had begun to disappear, probably a bad sign. The buckets were probably used to capture the snow, which would eventually melt into water, and whoever had that setup going on was in the opposite direction; most likely chewed up by the wooden wolves Engineer had encountered earlier. If they were lucky. After trudging through the snow for about another hour, Engie was pleased to find what looked like an opening in the forest. Beyond the trees ahead of him was a dirt path that had been used very recently. What it was used by remained a mystery, but he knew that if he followed it, he’d most likely end up somewhere. Whether or not it was safe was up for speculation. These days, speculating the chances of survival in a world so harsh was all he did. “Okay,” Engie whispered to himself. “Follow the path, but don’t go on it. Follow the path. Don’t step on it.” Following his simple rule, Engie remained behind the trees, hugging them every now and again whenever he thought he heard a noise. Occasionally he thought he heard voices, making his heart skip a beat and making him dive into the snow covered ground, hoping that, despite his grey hooded jacket, he would be out of sight. All it did though was push snow up into the rips of his clothing. Each time he did so, he cursed himself for having eaten that rotten pie Captain demanded he ate. While Engie liked coffee, he didn’t like having scorching coffee sprayed on him. “C’mon,” He whined loudly, not caring who or what heard him at this point. “There’s got to be something out here!” Engie looked back at the path, finding that the trees ahead of him had vanished and he was actually standing on it. He looked around and saw that the trees themselves had actually vanished altogether, quickly finding out that he was the only one standing on the trail. He looked down at his feet, at the marks that were imprinted beside his boots. They looked like big Us had been stamped into the snow, but there was no signs of actual human shoeprints. He turned around, watching the Us go down the path, and taking in everything around him. Trees! They were a bit distant, and there were more trees forming ahead of him, a wooden picket fence along side it. The path curved, but was obscured by a farmhouse and a barn. Surprisingly enough, they were still intact and not rotting away like most of the other buildings from before he entered the vortex. Engie followed the path the direction he originally had been going, though now, with more caution in his steps. He turned his head and looked over his shoulder every now and again, to make sure those wooden wolves weren’t following him. Engie walked to the barn took cover behind the it, hugging the walls as he tried to stealthily make his way around, just in case there was anybody around. Engie stopped when he heard voices up ahead. His whole form stood frozen in mid-step. The voices were very....country? They sounded normal, but it wasn’t the german accent the Captain was known for, nor was it Sniper’s or Pilot’s. But it sounded like Pilot. If he wasn’t speaking, then he was definitely groaning or something. “They are my minions!” A voice echoed down the path. Captain. Some part of Engie was a little happy to hear a familiar voice, but the majority of him wanted to strangle the delusional prick. “I require them for a mission to find my intern!” Who was he talking to? Engie followed the trail with caution, but upon coming to the end of the curve, he was met with a shocking image. There was Captain, his military trench coat swaying in the breeze, his unmistakable purple goggles glowing and mug in hand. Under him was a whining Pilot, wiggling around with his hands and legs bound together. Beside him lay an unconscious Sniper, laying there limp in the snow. Engie was only slightly glad to see them, but was more so focus with the three....things huddled around them, glaring at the Captain, who was rambling about how the two on the ground were sent to find him and how he could have them court-martialed for disobedience and insubordination. Of course. The orange one wore a straw cowboy hat, its emerald eyes glaring coldly at the two bodies on the ground. Beside her was a small light yellow and red haired thing. Were they horses? Yep, definitely horses. But the scariest one, was the big red one. It didn’t look like it was screwing around, and judging from the glare it was giving Captain, it was two seconds away from slamming a hoof down on his head and cracking it open like an oversized walnut. "Did ya have to do that?" The smallest one asked. “After all the stuff that’s been crawlin’ around the orchard?” The orange one in the middle replied. “I’d say I’m playin’ it safe.” “Those were my minions you boob,” Captain said matter-of-factly. “By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have a scarf would you?” The three multi-colored horses looked at each other in confusion, trying to understand what the Captain was getting at. “No, I can’t say we do,” The middle one answered. “Big Mac, would you mind getting Twilight while I haul these two over to the house. Maybe Twi will know what to do with ‘em.” There’s more of them? Engie thought. Great.  Engie was about to step out, but a growl from behind made him freeze again. Slowly turning his head, Engie was met with a white and brown dog, though he wasn’t entirely sure what breed it was. All he knew was that it was pissed. Leaping in the air, the dog tackled Engie to the ground snapping its jaws inches away from his face. The sharp stick still in his hand, Engie slapped the dog, hoping that the sharp point would actually stab, but with his flimsy grip, all he was doing was hitting his attacker with the bluntest end of the stick. “Winona!” The dog stopped, allowing Engie to shove it off of him. It ran to its master, the orange horse beside the Captain. “Shit,” Engie muttered to himself as the Captain approached him. “Ah, Engie!” Captain said, grabbing the downed doctor and dragging him towards the small horse who Engie assumed to be Applebloom. “This! Is my other minion. Say hello!” “Captain!” Pilot exclaimed. “I found him!” “Did you now? Mission accomplished!” Yanking his arm back, Engie grunted as he stood up and brushed the snow off of his coat and mask. He kept his eyes trained on the dog, who was practically smiling and happy right now. Behind his goggles, he gave the happy dog a death glare that he wished it could see. “Uhh, right.” Applebloom said. “Applejack, should we take ‘em to the house now?” “Yeah,” Applejack responded. “Yeah, let’s do that. Ya’ll better not give us any trouble now, y’hear?” Engie remained silent, slinging Snippy over his shoulder while Captain responded with a slightly angry “You cannot tell me what to do. I own this land!” “Uh right. Well, uh....just follow us.” The Captain let out a sigh. “Fine, I’ll play along.” “So...” The alicorn named Twilight spoke, trying to find the words for what she was witnessing. Two hogtied..things on the ground, one completely limp and the other squirming around pretending it was a worm. Applejack had a hoof on her face, trying to get the green eyed, self-proclaimed worm to stop moving around. The two standing up watched, one encouraging him to keep squirming, calling him ‘Pilot’ while the other one with the orange goggles kept his eyes on everything that moved in the room. “What am I here for again?” “What are these things?!” Applejack yelled above the noise of Pilot squirming and kicking like he was being tickled. “And how do we get rid of ‘em?” “Well...” Twilight pursed her lips. By Celestia, what the heck am I supposed to do?  Twilight looked over at Fluttershy who had tagged along since she was in the library with Twilight when Big Mac knocked on the door. Spike was with Twilight as well, but he was too busy laughing at the squirming Pilot on the ground. Judging from Fluttershy’s expression, she hadn’t the slightest clue of what to do. “I don’t think I’m the right pony for this job Applejack,” Twilight admitted. “I think the best I could do is let the princess Celestia or Luna know of what’s happening. They’ll know what to do. In the meantime....They’re going to need a place to stay. “ “Well they ain’t stayin’ here!” Applejack yelled. “The Captain here can go ahead and fu-” “Whoa!”  Pilot stood up on his two legs and began hopping around. “Look what I can do!” “L-look at this Twi!” Applejack threw her hat on the ground. “How can I deal with this?! Get off my hat!” The Captain froze, then stood up straight again, keeping his eyes on the ground like he were a foal that just got scolded. Applejack was seething with anger, steam practically blowing out of her nose. “They can stay anywhere but here! These guys are trouble, and I won’t have ‘em messin’ up my farm!” “Okay, okay,” Twilight took in a deep breath. “Um, Flusttershy? Can they stay with you?” “Oh no no no,” She responded. “The other one that came by earlier seemed to bother the animals a lot.” “Oh well﹘wait, what?” “T-that’s why I came to you.” Outside of the house Pink mists rose in the air, swept away by the oncoming breeze. Bubbles of pink hearts floated up in the air, trailing off with the mist in the wind. The source of this pink mist, a gas mask with a missing filter and glowing pink eyes. Stalky sat on the field beside the farm, binoculars in hand and peering through the windows looking for the Captain. His Captain. He hadn't the slightest clue about how he was still up and running, but what mattered was that he was up and running. All he remembered before waking up in some random pony's house and almost getting mauled by a bear was that he was chasing some green thing through the dead city. But now he was here. And so was the Captain. He scanned the house, watching as the ponies were trying to work something out. Stalky’s vision averted to Pilot, who was finally sitting still beside Snippy. Captain was nowhere in sight. The orange pony was screaming her head off, yelling at a partially covered figure. The figure wore what looked like a trench coat and was holding something in it’s grip. A mug? His mug.   It was the Captain. In all his glory, probably about to punish the ones who were opposing him. The yellow pony with the pink mane suddenly appeared. It was her again. Without her hoard of animals though. Maybe the Captain would reward him for bringing him her head? Yes, that would work. I’ll give him her head. Then, we’ll be together. Forever. O Captain! My Captain!