Rise of the Muscle Wizard.

by Ssendam the Masked


Falcon... PAWNCH!

Two years after the arrival of the Muscle Wizard...

I grinned at my work. It had taken me two years of hard work and flexing, but I had turned this old, decrepit castle into a fortress perfect for my unique magic.

It was now a combination of a library and a gym. Two years of hard work and general manliness had resulted in my growing in arcane power. I flexed my arms, now noodles. One of the spells that I'd had to invent was 'Muscle Compression;' I invented it mainly because I had reached a level of hugeness that made it difficult to eat. Just as it seemed as if I would have to levitate food into my mouth like a pussy, I came upon a spell that shrunk things down. After tweaking the spell a bit to simply compress my muscles permanently, keeping their strength and reducing size, I could make myself look like a total weakling.

Although, my arms weren't really noodles. They were lined with taut muscle, and I had a well-defined six-pack. While my muscles were so small, I couldn't wear my favourite robe. So, I'd raided the town and came away with a lot of yellow fabric. I used it with my magic to make a jumpsuit, with a black stripe. I now felt like Bruce Lee. I perused the nearest book, a history book. Something appeared which made me frown.
"What's this? Nightmare Moon..." I gripped my pipe, summoned from Summon Manly Item (I had about a dozen porn booklets, a steak, and a bear-crocodile-gorilla, which I'd killed in a brutal fistfight) and puffed it, forming a cloud of smoke that resembled a flexing, muscular arm. "Hmm... A thousand years will she be imprisoned... I'd say, given these history books, that the thousand years are up." I grinned; it was time to demonstrate the power of Muscle Magic.

Ponyville

Twilight looked at the orange mare with green eyes. She seemed to have a lot of muscles, although not as many as the positively gargantuan red stallion, who seemed to be built like a house.
"So this, ah, 'Muscle Wizard,' just came through and made all these craters?" The mare grunted, lifting the weight that she seemed to carry with her all the time..
"Yep. Sent Pinkie Pie through the wall; she got out in a couple of hours. Pinkie Pie's skull is thicker than rock. Crazy girl." She shook her head with a smlgith grin on her face, even as she lifted a barbell that probably weighed as much as her whole body. Twilight stared at it and her muscles with a reserved, kind of weirded out expression.
"Um, why are you lifting that thing all the time?" Applejack grinned.
"Land sakes, miss Twi, you're askin' a lot of questions. I'm doin' it in order to prove that ah can beat that darn Muscle Wizard. He gave me this as well." She tossed a book at Twilight, who eagerly grabbed it. "Somethin' about me bein' his 'rival in muscles,' or summat. Big Mac's got one as well." The huge red stallion nodded, from his position of bench pressing two cows.
"Eeyup." Twilight nodded.
"Right! It seems as if you've got it all under control, so I'll see you later." Applejack frowned.
"Whoa, hang on there, sugarcube. Y'all leavin' without havin' a lunch?"

"Bwuh. I ate too much pie." Twilight panted, groaning about indigestion. Then, she hastily rolled out of the way of a huge barbell falling from the sky. Spike glared at the sky.
"Hey, watch it! You could've hurt somepony with that!" A sky blue mare flew down, picking it up in a hand.
"Heh, sorry. I was borrowing Bulk Bicep's equipment- poor pegasus' still in hospital, after the Muscle Wizard got him." Twilight's mane sprung out of place slightly at the mention of 'Muscle Wizard.'
"Okay, who is this Muscle Wizard, exactly? I mean, I know a little bit, but not all that much." The mare looked at her strangely.
"Yeah, he showed up like six months ago. Bulk tried to challenge him, but one look and he was sent flying! Then, he glared around, and said: "I hate pill-poppers. GAIN HUGENESS HONESTLY!" Twilight and Spike were bowled back by the sudden increase in volume. The mare rubbed her head awkwardly.
"The name's Rainbow Dash." Twilight raised her head.
"Ah, you're Rainbow Dash."

Ponyville town hall, in the Evening.

"...presenting, PRINCESS CELESTIA!" Instead of Celestia, it was revealed to be...
"YOU!"
The huge figure grinned, waving a hand. Twilight noticed that it had muscles that were giant. She glared at him.
"HELLO, PONYVILLE!" His voice boomed across the meeting hall. He then quietened down, looking at Twilight.
"I have not done anything to your Princess; I just got here. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! I'm here to make all you puny magic users... HUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGEEEEEEE! HURHGLABLARGLEBLAH!" He raised his hands in supplication, sinking to his knees, bellowing random syllables. Suddenly, he sprang to his feet again.
"You unicorns are SOFT, like uncooked bread! I will teach you... TO BE HUGE!" With that, he flexed, and Twilight noticed that magic was building up around him.

"THE NIGHT SHALL LAST FOREVER!!!!" Applejack turned around. Standing there was the dreadful Nightmare Moon!" She lunged forwards, landing a punch on the goddess. Unfortunately, it passed right through her, the goddess moving over to the Muscle Wizard.
"Ah, hello. What manner of being are you?" He shrugged.
"NIGHTMARE MOON! DO YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE THE MUSCLE WIZARD?!" Nightmare blinked.
"What." He flexed his muscles again.
"FALCON PUNCH!" This earned a blink.
"Falcon wha-" Suddenly, the Muscle Wizard zoomed forwards, gauntleted fist alight with fire. The fist connected, and Nightmare Moon was knocked through the building. He then turned to Applejack and grinned, his moustache finely oiled and gleaming.
"Applejack, my rival! Shall I fight with you later?"
"NNOW HANG ON-" He grinned and ran through the hole in the wall, after the goddess.Applejack stared at Twilight.
"...Well, that happened." Twilight's mane has now completely disshevelled. She turned.
"Hang on girls, to the library!"