//------------------------------// // Prologue....To Disaster!!! // Story: The Shipmaster // by Coronet the lesser //------------------------------// Discord was bored. Being ‘reformed’ was sadly, not the exciting, action packed life he imagined it would be. The brochure he was given was a lie. In fact he wasn’t even given a brochure. In truth, he spent most of his days napping. Which to say the least, was a rather tame action for the self-proclaimed king of chaos. The days where he was free to hop from place to place were gone, Instead he was reduced to small and harmless pranks amongst the citizens of Equestria. An insult considering what he once was. Not that small pranks weren’t fun they were just well as the adjective described for him, small in their design. “Oh, even my narration is boring,” sighed Discord as he stretched his arm back until a satisfying cracking sound was heard. He was lying on one of the branches of his thinking tree, which was conveniently placed in the middle of Carrot Top’s field. Needless to say, the mare was rather peeved that Discord had decided to set up camp while she was working. That was until she eventually seemed to quiet down. He convinced himself that it must have been his irresistible charm that sated her. Well, that and the zipper around her mouth helped too. “Oh woe is betide me,” he cried as he feel back onto the branch, melodramatically. The shaking of the branch loosed some of Discord’s garbage onto the field, much to the horror of the muted Carrot Top. Discord discarded his thoughts of compressing a race into gaseous entities to return to his heavily scheduled day. “What to do, what to do? Well better check the list.” Discord pulled a long checklist from apparently nowhere and unfurled it so it covered the poor mare beneath him. A single sentence was adorned atop the behemoth list. ‘Do nothing’. Discord smiled as he pulled out his front tooth and began to cross out the sentence. He then plugged the tooth pack into his mouth. “Well that’s done and it’s not even three.” Carrot Top began her muffled protests once more, kicking and hitting against the tree. Discord looked down at her as she pointed at the mess Discord had made. “Apologies, you’re quite right, it’s clearly twelve. Silly me.” Suddenly Carrot Top was pulled up from behind and raised up to eye level with the draconequus. “Oh Parrot Mop, you’re the only one who understands me. Now if only you were a real pony and not a figment of my imagination. I-hey, you tried to kick me.” Discord pushed the angry pony away from him. Carrot Top just continued to unsuccessfully bore holes into him with her eyes. “Oh don’t give me that look.” Discord once again stretched as he cracked his back again much to the disgust of yellow pony, before patting her condescendingly on the head. “Well I’m bored again so I suppose I should head off to Ponyville. Remember now, to do your homework, stay in school and be in bed by nine okay, Miss Lollipop?” With his familiar snap of his talons he disappeared, leaving a still fuming Carrot Top on top of a tree a good twenty feet from the ground. “Well that was fun.” Discord stopped for a moment, something tugged at what Fluttershy had said was supposed to be his ‘conscience’. He called it yesterday’s chilli peppers that had not settled quite right. “Maybe I should have helped her.” Discord paused for a moment before snorting. “Nah I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Discord stopped outside one of the local food shops. It had been a successful walk for him, only five ponies ran screaming from him this time. A notable improvement over yesterday. After ‘borrowing’ a daisy sandwich from one of the local patrons, Discord wandered through the suddenly abandoned streets of Ponyville. ‘Must be a storm coming in or something.’ His thoughts turned to the library. The wooden structure had almost become some sort of command centre towards monitoring him, whenever he visited Ponyville. Apparently somepony was still a bit bitter about the whole ruining her day with her sister in law. Nonetheless Discord did find it rather amusing how irritated Twilight became when he was present. She was far more fun than Celestia had ever been. “Well I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to visit little Sparky! I’m sure she’ll be so eager to see me again.” His thoughts turned briefly to his song. “She’s always good for a laugh.” A mental image of Twilight glaring at him appeared. He shrugged. “Well for me anyway. Now if only she shaved her head and put on that uniform I keep pestering her with, then she’d be perfect!” Discord appeared in his usual bombastic style on the ground floor of the library. He outstretched his arms like a performer before an audience, as the magical energies from his transport knocked over books and shelves. He expected the usual cry of ‘Discord!’ to follow his arrival yet none was forth coming. Discord waited for a moment before trying again. “You hoo! Sparkle Sparkle!” he called out looking towards the stairs expectantly. There was no answer. He moved closer towards the bottom of the stairs. “It seems that nopony in town really wants to speak to me and since the internet hasn’t been invented yet, I thought to myself who better to brighten up my day then my fourth favourite Princess.” Discord was in the process of setting up the lighting rig with fireworks for Twilights entrance but much to Discord’s disappointment the mare did not emerge from her room. Discord huffed as the fireworks deflated into nothingness. He would have teleported directly into her bedroom but his brain was quick to remind him of what happened the last time he did so. 'Let’s just say that girl can move when she’s angry. How was I supposed to know she was taking a shower?’ thought Discord. 'It wasn’t even that bad. I mean okay, maybe having the camera with me gave the wrong impression but still she totally overreacted.’ He waited some more but three seconds was clearly far too long for the immortal draconequus so he proceeded to call out some more. “Cold shoulder, eh?” huffed Discord as he crossed his arms and turned away from the stairs. “Well, I’ll go build my own alicorn princess. She’ll be beautiful and she’ll be red and black and have a troubled past because of poor character writing, a bit like this story only…wait a minute is that a note?” Discord noticed a small piece of paper laying on the nearby coffee table. He lifted it up and proceeded to read it. Spike, Gone out to get more ink. Pinkie drank the last jar under the idea that it was a magic potion I was using with one of my experiments. Before you think of anything, she’s fine and no I do not know how a pony can be fine after consuming poisonous ink and yes she did just walk out the library like nothing happened. At this point I don’t know why I still need to explain myself. Rarity also needs you for something. Please help her out but don’t do any heavy lifting for her. I don’t need to explain to mom and dad why you keep getting back pains and bruises at your age. I’d prefer not to have a visit from child services. Remember the last time we had a visit from the inspector? I still wonder how the police station burned down. Love, Twilight “Oh of course she’s out,” groaned Discord as he rolled his eyes. “Well at least no one was here to actually hear me say that or I would have sounded crazy or something.” Discord chuckled to himself. “This paper tastes nice though,” he said while taking a bite out of the note. “I’ll have to ask Twilight where she bought it. Tastes like good kindling and a hint of frustration. My favourite!” He chewed for a while. “Mm mm words.” After consuming the note, Discord decided to leave. He could have easily left via teleportation but the sad music he had hired for the occasion was only for a limited time and he had found little opportunity to use it yet. A few fake tears later and a nice black and white colour change to the background fitted the scene perfectly. Outside some ponies were scared they had gone blind as their world changed around them. Discord clumsily swung his tail around as he made his exit, knocking down an entire shelf of books which fell to the floor. The music cut off and the colour returned to the library. Sighing heavily as he resided himself to picking up each book off the floor while magically fixing the remaining damage he had caused via his entrance. Suddenly another book dropped from the interior of one of the thicker manuals, he was picking up. Discord peered at it. The small looking tome was quite worn. Discord scooped it up with end of his griffin claw and as he inspected the title. It read ‘Twilight’s Diary: Spike keep out!’ Discord immediately threw the other books away. A vague sound of a window smashing and somepony screaming could be heard in the distance. Discord gleefully took the book into his claws as he eyed over it like a foal in candy shop. “Twilight’s diary! Jackpot!” Discord’s eyes flashed dollar signs, then peaches before eventually settling on some obtuse triangles. For a brief moment he questioned the authenticity of such a thing. “One must wonder why she didn’t store this in a safer place?” Discord pulled on his goatee before dismissing it with a wave of his lions paw. “Then again, I didn’t write the script so…” he opened the book as his eyes grew outwards and literally smashed against the page as if he were trying to absorb its knowledge directly. Deep down, He knew that perhaps he shouldn’t do this. ‘Perhaps as a friend I should respect her privacy and do the right and moral thing. Yes, in my reformed state it would be advisable to do the right and hones- wait a minute is that Celestia!’ Much to Discords surprise he found a variety of musings based around the solar Princess. Some which were rather… risqué entries to say the least. Diagrams and all. There was even the occasional bar chart and graph. “Hmm looks like someone has got the hots for the teacher.” A Discord in the corner hit the drums. “Hah, references how I love thee.” Discord chuckled briefly to himself before flicking through a few more pages. “This stuff is golden!” “Indeed other me,” said a particularly well dressed Discord with a wooden pipe. “This seems like quite a boon for us! But pray tell what should we do with this valuable information?” “Use it to pester Twilight,” suggested Discord emerging from the ceiling. “Bah! Too simplistic,” replied Discord as he fell through a blue portal in the kitchen. “Out her secret to the public and wait for the plehphorea of terrible fiction that follows?” chirped another version of himself travelling through an orange portal opposite to him. “Eh, it’s already been done.” Discord then magically overturned a box labelled ‘Rainbow Dash’s masterpieces’. Several hundred pages dumped onto the floor. “Who could forget such gripping titles as ‘The Most awesome Pegasus In The Kingdom Of Shadow Death’ or the classic ‘The Pegasus who flew so fast she turned back time’. Discord shook his head in disdain as he discarded the piece of fiction into the nearby waste disposal. “Unlikely, you cannot change the laws of physics!” shouted a thick accented, red shirt wearing Discord. “Whatever," said Discord as he waved off his duplicates, who then disappeared. “No, this requires a more subtle touch. This will require most...no, all of my cunning.”Discord tapped his chin while pacing back and forth throughout the library. “Iddeaaaa!!!” he cried suddenly in poor imitation of a certain white unicorn. Discord quickly conjured up a jar of ink and plucked a feather from his pegasus wing as he summoned some parchment from the nearby table. “Quite clearly this is a problem that a certain lavender mare needs help with, and who better than I, Discord, as her friend to assist her in the matter. For what is more chaotic than love? Thus this clearly makes me the most qualified to aid her in her quest!” Discord roared with laughter at the thought before donning a wicked grin. “And if perchance that I should perhaps benefit from our precious princess’s ‘absence’, who would think otherwise?” Outside the vague sound of thunder boomed in the distance. With a growing sense of excitement and anticipation he began his fateful letter. Dear Princess….. The sun was held high into the sky as its glorious rays poured down onto the pristine castle walls. A single room within the high spires of the castle had its curtains closed. The sun unable to bring its warmth inside the darkness. Suddenly this darkness was broken with a sickly green coloured ‘pop’. A letter dropped down from the air and landed upon a wooden desk at the side of the room. A light, blue aura of magic seized the intruder and brought it up to the face of its owner, a rather bed ragged looking Princess Luna. Fixing her mane slightly as she broke the seemingly sloppy looking seal applied to the letter, she recognised the parchment as one belonging to her fellow princess in Ponyville. “Ah, it seems that we have received a missive from our dear friend, Twilight Sparkle. I wonder what wondrous news she has in store for us.” Luna unravelled the letter with a smile as she delved into its contents.