"Will someone kill me, or all of you, right now?" Ollie asked. Staring with half lidded eyes at the fashion torment before his eyes. Every single one of the mares was wearing a jumpsuit similar to that of Twilights, but each of them were their own individual color. With rainbows quite literally being a bright yellow that tore at the eyes.
Jack let his knife drop out of his cuff links, grabbing it before twirling it around so the tip pointed downwards. "Promise you won't resurrect?"
Seconds or so after those words where uttered the knife suddenly became too hot to hold onto, and once Jack had dropped it it just melted away like snow.
"Whoops." Ollie said with the biggest grin he could muster.
Jack glared back daggers at him, literally. It looked like he'd pulled the rather large kitchen knives out of his armpits. Now they were pointed directly towards Ollie's face.
"I don't think Ollie likes my outfits Twilight." Rarity said. She looked shocked rather than sad however.
"Gee, what gave it away?" Rainbow sighed, "I think it was given away when he said he wanted to kill himself because they're ugly."
"No need for a five second recap," Jack said, now busily dodging every single punch coming in his direction. "This isn't an anime."
"There are times when what you say is confusing Jack." Twilight sighed as she and her friends turned to walk into the bowling hall. "And I'm friends with Pinke 'aight? That's a bit extreme."
"Sure, whatever." Jack grabbed hold of Ollie's arm at it flew over his head. He lunged his employer overhead so he smashed into the ground. Apparently this didn't stop Ollie, as he got up a few seconds later and jumped into Jack's midriff, sending them both crashing into the bowling hall like a small cursing missile.
The receptionist turned with complete disinterest towards the six friends who had entered only seconds ago, "are these guys with you?"
"That's unfortunately a yes."
"C'mon, big money no whammies!" Ollie yelled as he threw his first ball towards the row of pins. As it collided with the mid row it exploded with a voice yelling: "Wèi zǔguó" or something along those lines. Ollie turned around and held his fist high in the air. "I am a god!"
"It's just a strike, will you calm down." Jack said. Moving up to the lane with his own ball in hand. Ollie tried to slap him, but Jack ducked underneath as he did.
The Englishman spread his legs in a similar fashion to someone playing cricket readying to hit the ball. But for some reason he took the ball flat in hand and leant on his shoulder. He then threw it forwards so it arched perfectly, and smacked directly into the wooden lane leaving a small crater.
"Jack, I'm not sure you've realized it, but the nearest petāng field is about 10.000 light years in that direction." Ollie said, pointing sort of southwest upwards.
"A Londoner of true blood would not indulge in a sport as crude as this without adding a bit of class." Jack said, dusting off his sleeves before sitting down again.
"Says the bastard who decided that killing hookers and royal women was a smart idea." Ollie scoffed.
"Hey, I never got caught."
"Ah swear, if ah have ta listen to jus' one more of yer stupid dick meassurin' contests then I'm go'n hurl your asses to Applelosa." Applejack said. Taking another large slurp of her colt cola. The two earth pony representatives of the group had unfortunately arrived at a day where all mouth balls had been lent out to other visitors already, so they were stuck with watching.
"Colonial asshole." Jack muttered under his breath.
"Will you shut up? I'm concentrating." Twilight yelled. She was pinching her eyes in an attempt to line up the perfect shot. Which probably would've happened if Ollie hadn't decided to go. "Boo!" Right as the swung the ball. This caused said ball to fly up into the ceiling, ricochet off it, and afterwards flatten Jacks top hat.
Ollie guffawed with laughter. "That could not have gone better!"
"You're an ass." Jack whispered as his soul whisked into the air. Ollie grabbed onto it and forcefully pushed it back into his body, making it jitter in shock before Jack stabbed towards Ollie's head. "You're a jackass."
Ollie grabbed hold of his arm and threw him towards the ceiling. The Brit appeared utterly unaffected by his previous death as he leapt off the ceiling and landed right in front if Ollie again.
Pinkie reached into her mane and picked out a small box of popcorn. She placed them in front of the other ponies who had by now stopped giving a shit about bowling in favor of watching a gladiator fight between a British murderer and an evil king-god thing.
"You said that already." Ollie threw his bowling ball at the murderer, whom promptly ducked down and watched it smash through the wall only to return to its owners hand. "Did I finally bash what little creativity you had out of your skull?"
"Ass and jackass are two different words." Jack calmly said as he picked up a few bowling balls of his own and hurled them towards Ollie, who merely backhanded them away. "You dickhead."
"Cock gobbler!"
"Stain on society!"
"Walking stereotype!"
"Wanker!"
The receptionist looked up from her magazine that read something alone the lines of "ten ways to suc-" and the rest was cleverly blocked by the authors wish to have this be a teen rated fic. "Keep it down you two, or leave."
Ollie and Jack looked at each other, completely puzzled and perhaps a bit entertained. They turned back towards the receptionist with their arms raised high, readying to throw a couch each.
"Fuck off!"
"so you're telling me that you killed the receptionist and then tore the entire hall down?"
"yes"
"just...... Please continue mr Ollie, I need some more painkillers."