4 - At Sugarcube Corner
Twilight Sparkle leapt out of bed and looked out the window. It was a beautiful winter day; the sky was clear and blue, the thick, pure snow was dazzlingly bright in the morning sunshine.
Her first day of winter in Ponyville! There was much to be done.
She dashed past Spike’s bed. Despite all the ruckus she was causing, the slumbering dragon did not so much as stir.
Twilight sped down the short flight of stairs to the study beneath the landing where she slept. There her boots, her scarf and her winter saddle awaited her. With a majestic leap, she landed all four of her hooves into her boots. Next she took her scarf in her mouth, and with a quick motion she wrapped it about her neck. At last she came to the saddle; she gazed at it with some apprehension. She looked up to make sure Spike wasn’t watching, then levitated the saddle onto her back and fastened the straps about her midsection with her horn. She reminded herself she had to learn to put it on the Earth pony way before the end of winter.
Snug and secure in her winter clothing, Twilight raced down the stairs. She ate a small breakfast of oatmeal, and walked out the front door, passing without a thought the door that led to the basement.
Twilight went about buying groceries. She walked through the streets of Ponyville, admiring the freshly-fallen snow and icicles that hung from the roofs of the houses. Hovering around her were bags containing the last freshly-grown fruits and vegetables she’d eat for three months. About midday the cold weather was getting to her, and she stopped by Sugarcube Corner for hot chocolate.
Fluttershy and Applejack were there, sitting and enjoying some treats. Twilight joined them.
“Howdy, Twilight! Shopping?” Asked Applejack.
“Yes” Twilight replied, “How about you girls?”
Applejack spoke enthusiastically, “The farm’s all ready for winter! I’m happy to sit back and enjoy the season off!”
Fluttershy was less enthused, “All my critter friends are hibernating”, she sighed, “I guess I have the season off, too”
“Lucky for the both of you!” Twilight said cheerfully.
“I think you ought to keep an eye on Simon” Fluttershy said seriously, “He might get bored and anxious during the winter”
“How did Simon like the farm last night?” asked Applejack, “I’d like to hear what he had to say about us”
“He was really enthusiastic when we got home. He told me he felt normal for the first time since coming to Equestria”
Applejack glowed with pride, “Aw, shucks. You tell him he can come on over any time he feels like it”
“Twilight!” Said Pinkie Pie, who appeared inches away, completely without warning, “Simon’s been in Ponyville for a month now! I demand you let me give him a proper welcome!”
Twilight had hoped she wouldn’t have to go through this. She’d worked hard keeping the pink party pony at bay since Simon’s arrival, because the human seemed so unstable. But Pinkie Pie had been relentless, and the purple pony was running out of excuses.
“Pinkie, I know you mean well, but Simon’s in a delicate…” Fluttershy began.
Applejack chimed in, “Go ahead, Twilight, he was fine last night on the farm!”
Fluttershy tried again, “I think that’s because the farm is a relaxing place. Pinkie…”
“You see, Twilight? Applejack says he’ll be fine! Oh please! Please please please!” Pinkie jumped up and down.
“I think Simon’s scared of us. He’s not used to magic or Pegasus ponies. I think he’d be very uncomfortable with Pinkie’s….” Fluttershy whispered.
Pinkie’s pleas easily drowned out Fluttershy’s suggestions, “Please?!” She begged.
“FINE!” shouted Twilight, more in irritation than in decision.
“ALL RIGHT!” Pinkie bolted out the door.
“Twilight, I think that’s a really bad idea. Simon’s in no shape to deal with Pinkie Pie right now” Fluttershy said.
5 - Pinkie Pie
Simon ascended the spiral staircase very slowly.
He wore everything he had: Boots, shirt, jacket, coat, hood, canteen. He was dressed to brave the winter, though he didn’t plan to go out. All that remained behind was his gun, hidden underneath the block of straw that was his bed.
Simon reached the top of the stairs. The heavy wooden door stared at him. He took a heavy swig of water from his canteen and opened the door with a steady hand.
The room was light; the sun was well up. He didn’t want to know what the time was. His watch would tell, but he did not look at it.
He ignored the wooden bust that adorned the center of the round room, which glared directly at him.
He strode across the room to his little desk, the history book opened to the page where he left it. He was within reach of it when a waft of cold air blew across his face. Instinctively he turned to face the source of the draught, and saw through one of the windows that flanked the front door. He saw the brightness and whiteness of the world outside. One singular thought appeared in his mind:
snow
On the heels of that thought came another:
cold
He thought of the dreary trek through drifts of snow and biting cold. He hugged himself and shivered. More thoughts bore down on him. He realized that the lakes would freeze over, forcing him to gather fish through the ice. The miserable task of catching, preparing, and eating the meat he needed to live was to become even harder in the coming months.
The future appeared before him as endless, insurmountable obstacles. Hopeless scenario after hopeless scenario raced through his mind:
Maybe the fish just wouldn’t bite.
Maybe Twilight would get frustrated with him and cast him out into the snow.
Maybe he would go mad.
Maybe he would need medical attention for something the ponies could not treat.
Maybe he would spend the rest of his wretched life fruitlessly searching for clues about humanity, and die a dismal failure of a man.
Simon groaned; his stomach shrunk. He felt lightheaded. He became weak. He staggered back from the desk and fell into a sitting position on the floor. He tried to breathe normally, but couldn’t slow down. The books on their shelves towered imposingly and dizzyingly all about him. He shut his eyes tight. He needed to be somewhere else. He tried to remember dinner with Applejack and her family. The memory of the previous night seemed distant, faded, and not comforting. Every muscle in his body grew tense. He rolled onto his side and curled his legs up. He became angry with himself.
It’s all your fault. You had to go. You had to be a pioneer. You had to be a legend. You failed. I failed…Mimi.
He would have given anything to see his dog again.
He sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to hold it. Slowly, he forced himself to think:
The square root of two is an irrational number.
For, towards a contradiction, let the square root of two be expressed as a fraction, m divided by n, where m and n are two whole numbers with no factors in common besides one.
Then, squaring both sides, two is m squared divided by n squared.
Then twice n squared is m squared.
But the square of m is even only if m is even.
Thus, m is an even number. Let us say it is twice p.
Then two is four times p squared divided by n squared.
Then n squared is twice p squared.
But the square of n is even only if n is even.
Thus n is an even number.
So m and n are both divisible by two. That is, they both have two as a factor.
But m and n were taken to have no factors in common, besides one.
But this is absurd.
Since expressing the square root of two as a fraction leads to absurdity, we conclude that the square root of two cannot be so expressed.
Quod Erat Demonstrandum.
This is how Euclid proved that the square root of two was an irrational number. Is an irrational number. Verified not by experiment, but by reason. Five thousand years later, his argument still stood. No amount of time, nor mortal action, could topple the truth of Euclid’s claim. Even as a mathematician, Simon often forgot that these things could be proved, not because people wanted them to be true, but because the Universe allowed them to be true. Such everlasting certainty seemed divine to him, and in his moment of fear, it reminded him that not all was chaos as it seemed.
His tense muscles relaxed. Moments later, he was limp. Still shaky and panting, Simon pulled himself up using the round table with the bust on it. He shook his head roughly, and sat down heavily on his stool at his desk. He was exhausted. He stared at the wall. Both the library and his mind were completely silent. He relaxed, and lay his head on the table.
A knock came at the door. Simon started. He stared at the door, and waited for Twilight to answer it. She didn’t. Another knock came. Simon trembled. Part of him wanted to bolt down the stairs and hide, but another part of him wanted to know who it was, what they wanted, and help them find what they needed, even if it was to tell them that Twilight wasn’t home.
He grabbed his paper and pen. He stood and strode boldly to the door, wrapped his hand around the latch, and pulled it open.
There was no one there.
He leaned out the door and looked to either side. The cold shocked him; yesterday had been balmy and pleasant. He felt guilty that he’d missed whoever had been knocking.
A deafening explosion burst behind him. He jumped. He swiveled around. In the brief moment he’d turned away, the library had been transformed: Dozens of streamers hung from the ceiling; the bust in the centre of the room was replaced with a multi-layered cake; flakes of confetti flew through the air; a pinata hung from the ceiling; upbeat music was playing somewhere; a pink pony stood on his desk.
“Surprise!” she exclaimed, “I know it’s a little late, but this is your Welcome to Ponyville party!”
Simon blinked. The pink pony was now inches from him.
“I’m Pinkie Pie! Twilight’s told me all about you. She told me you’re from a long time ago, and that you’re really lonely. She told me you were sad. But everypony’s happy when they’re making new friends, so I thought I’d throw you a party and be your new friend. What do you think?”
She bounced high enough that her eyes met his.
Simon’s breathing quickened again. The quiet study had become loud, and things were happening too fast and the pony was talking to him.
His stomach shrunk again. He walked along the wall towards the door to his basement. The pony sat on the floor, grinning at him. He backed away from her, not taking his eyes off her. He reached the door, turned around to face it, and opened it.
The pony was on the other side.
“Simon, you can’t spend your whole life in the basement! Have some fun!”
It was too much. His small world of order had been invaded. He fell flat on the floor and curled up.
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?”
He shook his head furiously. He tried to hold his breath, but his lungs forced the air out too fast. He felt dizzy. He was scared he would suffocate. He breathed even faster.
Pinkie Pie stood over him, uncertain of what to do. Twilight walked in through the open door.
“Pinkie, you could have waited for…Simon!”
The lavender mare rushed to her human’s limp form. She lay down in front of him on her stomach.
“Twilight! Thank goodness! What’s happening to him?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“He’s having a panic attack! Simon, look at me”
Simon opened his eyes and looked at Twilight.
“It’s me. It’s okay, Simon. Everything’s okay…”
“Is there anything I can do?” Asked Pinkie. She was inches from him, behind his back. Simon’s eyes rolled. He was having spasms. He stopped breathing. The voices of the ponies sounded distant.
“Oh no!” Twilight was beginning to panic herself, “Simon! Breathe! Please!”
Fluttershy flew in. She hovered over Simon and Twilight and Pinkie Pie. She dove down and muscled through the mares.
“Twilight! Pinkie! Give us some room!” she told them in a commanding voice. They complied. She turned to Simon, and lay down on her side, facing him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head to her chest.
“Breathe with me, Simon” she said gently.
Simon listened to the sound Fluttershy’s lungs. He focused on the rhythm of her breathing. He managed to suck in a lungful of air.
Applejack trotted in. She walked between Twilight and Pinkie to see the scene before them.
“What in tarn---”
“SHHH!” replied the ponies on either side of her.
Slowly, his breathing became normal, and he fell still. Fluttershy decoupled herself and backed away from him.
“You’re okay, Simon. Don’t move until you feel better”
Simon sat up. Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy were all standing in line, facing him.
“Maybe I should go…” came a voice from behind them.
“No” said Fluttershy, “Simon needs to know he doesn’t need to be scared. Twilight, follow me”
Fluttershy and Twilight approached Simon, and sat down on the floor to either side of him.
Fluttershy said gently, “Simon, I’d like you to meet a friend. Come out, Pinkie Pie”
The bright pink pony that had accosted him slowly appeared from behind Applejack. She waved and smiled faintly. Simon instinctively reached out a hand and placed it on Twilight’s back. In spite of all that had happened that day, Twilight smiled.
Simon didn’t move for a while. He looked hard at Pinkie Pie. She appeared to be a normal pony.
Pinkie broke the silence, “I’m really sorry I scared you. I just wanted to cheer you up. Can you forgive me?”
Simon heard the sincerity in her voice and knew he couldn’t in good conscience blame her for his problems. He nodded.
Her ears perked up. She trotted quietly to the big cake in the centre of the room. She hoisted herself up and, with a cake-cutter in her mouth, cut a slice onto a plate. She brought it to Simon and offered it.
“Friends?”
He nodded.
“THANK YOU, SIMON!” The pony exclaimed pinkly. She threw herself at him and caught him in a hug with enough force to knock him over.
Twilight carried a wooden tray between her teeth out of the kitchen and into the library. On it were some apples, carrots and celery stocks. It was evening; Pinkie Pie and the others had been gone for hours.
Her human was sitting very still on his stool, staring at the wall. He seemed to be thinking very hard.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
Simon put his quill to his parchment, and paused. At last, he wrote his answer:
I’m scared
“Of Pinkie Pie?”
He shook his head, and wrote with a shaky hand,
Everything. Nothing makes sense anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t belong here.
Twilight saw where he was going, and knew she had to take action.
“Don’t think like that. Please, don’t.”
I don’t know what to do
“Simon, look at me”
He turned to her. She hoisted herself onto her hind legs, her forelegs on the desk. She looked into Simon’s eyes.
“You aren’t alone. I’ll always be here. I promise. So will Fluttershy, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. We’re your friends. Remember that”
Simon looked puzzled.
“Go to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning”
Twilight Sparkle was about to climb into bed when a burst of green fire drew her attention to snoring Spike. She looked over the small reptile, curled up in his bed. From her very first day as a student under Princess Celestia, Spike had been with her. In their earliest days together, the newly-hatched dragon couldn’t speak or write or do anything useful. She had spent many a frustrating night dictating long letters to Spike, only to discover that he’d missed half the words because he didn’t know how to spell them. She taught him to speak up when he didn’t know or understand something. She taught him to be curious.
Twilight had moulded Spike to be the outstanding companion that he was. She would never let anypony take him away from her. Yet if she hadn’t hatched his egg, her dear Spike would have been taken away, and Twilight wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
For almost the entire time she’d known him, Simon had been all but destroyed by the weight of all that had happened to him. She wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving him in the forest the day she met him. Two days ago she had brought him to Applejack’s farm, and for a fleeting moment he was at peace with himself and the world around him. His trust in her was growing, and her desire to rebuild him grew with it. Two days ago she suggested he leave. Tonight, she begged him to stay.
Twilight climbed into bed and an uneasy sleep.
6 - The Record
Simon couldn’t sleep.
He hated being scared. He hated feeling weak. He hated feeling stupid.
He got out of bed and walked around the room. He knew every inch of it in the dark.
He’d never properly thanked Twilight Sparkle for letting him into her home.
He climbed the stairs. He crossed the room, sat on the desk, and brushed aside the books and papers that littered it. He took a fresh scrap and wrote:
Euclid
He stared at the name of the great mathematician. He wrote out his proof that the square root of two is irrational. Euclid proved that the square root of two is irrational, that there exist an infinite number of prime numbers and that there were only five solid shapes with sides of equal length: The tetrahedron, the cube, the octahedron, the dodecahedron, and the icosahedron. He wrote down these names. Euclid’s Elements influenced math and science for two thousand years. Yet next to nothing was known about the man himself. It was known he worked in Alexandria, during a period when the Egyptian city was the center of all learning in the Western world. When Euclid was born, and when he died were a mystery.
Beneath it, he wrote,
Isaac Newton (1642-1727)
Few men have changed the world so completely as Isaac Newton. While a student at Cambridge University - Not far from where Simon now sat - Newton conceived an immensely powerful concept: Calculus, the study of continuous functions and how they change. To calculate the volume of a sphere - a calculation which Archimedes had considered the crowning achievement of his remarkable career- was almost trivial using Newton’s calculus. Mathematics, physics, and engineering were revolutionized almost overnight by the work of the man.
Gauss (1777-1855)
Gauss’ career may be considered the high point of mathematics. It’s been said that the German mathematician was the last person to know all about the subject at the time. Before he was twenty years old, Gauss had proven that one cannot, using an unmarked compass and straightedge, construct a polygon with 17 equal sides, solving a problem that had puzzled mathematicians for 2,000 years. For Gauss, this was only the beginning of a career that would touch on almost every branch of mathematics.
Simon looked at all he wrote. He knew what he had to do.
Twilight Sparkle woke up earlier than usual. For Twilight, this meant she woke up before sunrise. She had a bad feeling that Simon would be deeply affected by Pinkie’s visit, and didn’t want to risk leaving him alone for too long.
Her ear twitched. She could hear the sound of a pen scratching on parchment. She went downstairs to investigate. What she found nearly made her scream.
Parchment was piled all about Simon’s desk, almost a foot high. Simon sat stoically, writing frantically. Twilight picked up a sheet:
50 States
Montgomery, Alabama
Helena, Montana
Juneau, Alaska
Lincoln, Nebraska
Phoenix, Arizona
Carson City, Nevada
Little Rock, Arkansas
Concord, New Hampshire
Sacramento, California
Trenton, New Jersey
Denver, Colorado
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Hartford, Connecticut
Albany, New York
Dover, Delaware
Raleigh, North Carolina
Tallahassee, Florida
Bismarck, North Dakota
Atlanta, Georgia
Columbus, Ohio
Honolulu, Hawaii
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Boise, Idaho
Salem, Oregon
Springfield, Illinois
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Indianapolis, Indiana
Providence, Rhode Island
Des Moines, Iowa
Columbia, South Carolina
Topeka, Kansas
Pierre, South Dakota
Frankfort, Kentucky
Nashville, Tennessee
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Austin, Texas
Augusta, Maine
Salt Lake City, Utah
Annapolis, Maryland
Montpelier, Vermont
Boston, Massachusetts
Richmond, Virginia
Lansing, Michigan
Olympia, Washington
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Charleston, West Virginia
Jackson, Mississippi
Madison, Wisconsin
Jefferson City, Missouri
Cheyenne, Wyoming
“What are you doing?”
I’m writing down everything
“Everything?” she asked flatly.
Everything I know
Twilight sighed and turned. She heard a crash and turned right back.
Simon lay helpless on the floor.
“We need to get you some meat” she told him.