Applejack slowly awoke, and found herself covered in a newspaper blanket. Confused, she lifted it up, and found Rainbow Dash snoring softly, cuddled as tightly to Applejack as she could.
That explained how they were warm, but not how the blanket had gotten there. She looked around, and then saw a pony hunched over a small fire, underneath the edge of the bridge, on the bank across the water from the pier.
“Hey,” she called. “Did you do this?”
The pony looked up, and Applejack was surprised to see that he was a zebra. He grinned. “Out here on the streets, we look out for each other. Everypony is your sister and brother.” He lifted a stick, and Applejack could see hay patties being cooked. “I don’t have much, but what’s mine is yours; so whenever you’re ready, please come ashore!”
Applejack nudged Rainbow, and she awoke slowly. She groaned and placed her hooves on the sides of her head. “My everything hurts,” she groaned.
“Yeah, well, next time don’t have ‘just one cider of glass’,” Applejack ribbed.
Rainbow squinted against the light and looked up. “Hey, a zebra,” she murmured. She sat up and said as loudly as her headache permitted, “Hey! You any good at mixing hangover cures?”
Applejack nearly choked on her own spit. “Wh- Rainbow! You can’t ask him if he mixes things just because he’s a zebra!”
The zebra laughed, completely unoffended. “I happen to know a trick or two. I’ll fix you up as good as new.” His smile faded as he looked at his small cart. “But I’ll need some supplies from inside town, as all my herb levels are down.”
Applejack grinned. “Leave that to me.”
Not even an hour later, Applejack was back with everything the zebra had requested. It wasn’t long after that before the mixture was done (though as it had been made by putting the herbs in a sock and using that sock as a filter in the pot of boiling water, perhaps it was best Rainbow had remained prone on the ground and holding her head the entire time).
Her ears perked up at the first sip, and by the time it was gone, she was back to normal.
“All right,” she said, fully recovered. “First order of business: we get the hat.”
The zebra lifted his own hat and grinned. He liked hats, too.
“But how do we do that? We can't just steal it,” Applejack said.
“Yeah, you can,” Rainbow argued. “You can't steal something that's already yours. It’s already yours, so it’s not stealing.”
The zebra coughed politely. “I sense a story rather long to bring forth a reaction that strong.”
“Yeah. It’s a long story.”
The zebra grinned. “I’ve got nothing but time, so spin me the rhyme.”
Rainbow sighed before taking a deep breath. “Hat gust of wind flew away fighting acting train wreck skydiving without parachute ninjas flying dinner party Mr. DeMule bodyguards evading hat currently in his possession blackmail threatening…”
“Wait. Who was that fool? His name was…?”
“Yeah. DeMule.”
The zebra’s eyes narrowed.
“You know this guy?” Rainbow asked.
The zebra’s glare hardened. “Let's just say he's not my friend, and there we’ll let the matter end.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow.
Sure enough, the zebra continued bitterly. “Relics of my culture he’s stolen and thieved. To get him back, I would be most relieved.”
Rainbow grinned. “Then do we have a job for you…”
“Are we even sure this is going to work?” Rainbow asked.
“No, but I’m all out of other options,” Applejack retorted. “Now shut up and pour it already.”
Rainbow gently uncapped the vial and poured the acid into the lock via the funnel that Applejack was holding. It wasn’t long before the tell-tale crinkling of tiny metal tumblers falling told them the acid had done its job.
“That should be enough,” Applejack said. “Now quickly and quietly…”
But Rainbow wasn't there. Applejack turned and saw a blue blur that crashed through the door.
“That wasn’t quietly!” Applejack hissed.
Rainbow popped up. “But it was quickly!”
“Ah meant both at the same time!”
“Look, I want to go home, and to do that we gotta get your hat back. It's not a bad idea.”
“Yeah, until…”
The shouts from the approaching guards finished that sentence for her.
“Come on!”
The two sprinted down the halls. Applejack led the way, sprinting through twisting passageways until they ran into the stairway… which was currently crawling with guards.
“Plan B!” Rainbow said, ripping one of the small black vials from her makeshift belt and shattering it on the ground. Thick black smoke erupted from the vial, filling the room with darkness and sending the guards into coughing fits.
There was a pause, and then two ponies wearing wet scarves over their mouths burst through the wall of smoke and continued on their quest.
“Where to now?”
“DeMule probably kept it under lock and key. I’ll bet apples to bits it’s in that safe in his room!”
They soon got there, and burst through the door together in one leap.
Rainbow skidded to a stop and cheered exuberantly. “Haha! We have got to try that again!”
“Focus, Rainbow!” Applejack scolded. She went over to the standing safe in the room and began fiddling with the dial.
“I don’t think so,” Rainbow said. “In all the books, they keep stuff in safes behind pictures…” She picked up a poker from the fireplace and walked over to a painting. “Like this one!” She reared back and stabbed it right through the painting.
And her poker went right through the painting and through the Sheetrock behind it and right through the wall.
“Ok,” Rainbow said hesitantly, withdrawing the poker with a few quick tugs. “Maybe we’ll try your way first.”
“That one's a classic!” Applejack protested.
“Probably just a copy,” Rainbow said, more to reassure herself than anything.
“Get the acid over here before you break something else.”
Working quickly, and listening for any approaching guards, they waited for the acid to work. And then…
“They're in there!”
Applejack had decided enough was enough. She turned and bucked the door of the safe. Apparently they'd used enough, because the door popped open. Ignoring the papers and stacks of bits, she grabbed the hat sitting on the top shelf and turned to the door… only to be faced with a whole group of guards, far too many to fight.
“Put your hooves up!” the lead guard ordered.
Rainbow did so, flinging the two small vials she held in her hooves in the air as she did.
“Oh, not again…”
Thick black smoke blanketed the area, and the guards collapsed, coughing uncontrollably again.
The two thieves who weren't really thieves flew (well, one literally, one figuratively) through the air to make their escape.
But as Rainbow tore through the smoke, she hit something that definitely wasn’t supposed to be there. It was squishy and said “oomph!” as Rainbow hit it, and she lost control of her flight and skidded along the ground.
She shot to her hooves again, and stared ah the pony laying supine on the ground. “Hey, it's that ninja pony again!” Rainbow paused. “Oops.”
“We’ll worry about her later!” Applejack hissed. “Come on!”
Back under the bridge, they caught their breath.
Rainbow recovered first. “Toldja we'd get it back,” she said, swinging a hoof enthusiastically. “Who's awesome?”
“Rainbow…”
“That's right! It's me!”
“Rainbow…”
“Well, you were pretty good, too.”
“Rainbow…”
“What?”
“Rainbow… this ain't my hat.”