Dullahan collided with a cliff face, a clang echoing through the swamp and a constant rumbling could be heard, a fragile voice cut through the otherwise silent swamp, it sounded lonely, like a single stroke of a violin.
"It gets so lonely being evil... What I’d do to see a smile, even for a little while... And no one loves you... When you're evil."
Dullahan would have grinned and responded in his usual echoey voice. I would continue with your song, but I don’t have any teeth to lie through anymore.
The voice stopped, and the silence of the marsh returned, only broken by the occasional ruffled bush. The armor gave the impression of looking around by slowly turning his upper body from left to right. Okay, I’ll have you know I’m both armed and heavily armored, so sneak attacks won’t work.
The ruffling stopped, and out of the treeline a girl exited, a human girl.
“You may be immune to my stabs, but I can still rustle your jimmies ‘till next Thursday, armor boy.”
The armor gave the impression of staring, somehow. It was remarkable how much body language can be conveyed when you don’t have a head. Yeaaaah, while I admit you’re the first female human I’ve seen in a good, long while...Not really applicable anymore. Take a look in the neckhole.
The girl made her way towards the armor, and peered down the fire, seemingly unfazed by the scorching blazes, she pulled away and shrugged.
“Once you've seen a man twice your height, wielding a Knife bigger than you and has a pyramid as a head, constantly trying to kill you, you really don’t get fazed by the lack of things anymore.” She tapped her hat, a small rusted key collided with several other keys on the side of it.
If only I was thinking like that a good fifteen hundred years ago. Maybe then the sisters wouldn't have found me so easily.
The girl flinched at the mentioning of The Sisters, as if bitten, she grabbed the lower part of her gut and made a pained expression at the memory.
“Aye’, I know that feeling, Armor Boy, but remember, by the end of every short stick, there’s a sharp edge, if you can balance you’ll probably end up better than your original position.” She frowned “I didn’t balance all that well.”
Oh, where ARE my manners. Dullahan’s my name. Punishing ponies is my pastime.
Alice rose an eyebrow, her cheeks tugged into a smile and she leaned on a tree.
“Alice, Lady of Madness, Pyramid Head challenged me for the position, didn’t end up too well for either of us.” She frowned as she traced the scar on her left arm.
No fear, I’ve other titles to fall back on. Like ‘The shadow, the darkness, the elemental wraith.’ I’ve no need for yours, and frankly, I’d expect to turn into a Daedric mad prince if I DID take it.
Alice laughed and reached into her pocket, pulling out a card she played around with it before sending towards the dead looking trees, what was once something dead and gone flickered to life like a flashbulb.
“Aye’, It can be quite awkward, let me ask, did the sisters ever try to actually exorcise you?” Alice shuddered, “Nasty piece of business.” She pulled out her sword and examined the roses carefully. “The fools thought that, if they wielded and vanquished my spirit from The Vorpal Blade they would exorcise me from this realm, and want to know the real kicker? They used my fucking necromantic spell that I taught them to do it!” She stabbed the sword into the ground.
Why do you think they outlawed necromancy? Why do you think they kept hunting me? No matter where I go to punish they that would dare to walk the darkness, they that think THEY are the monsters, whenever I am seen, the sisters try to ‘deal’ with me. I’m just fucking glad I recalled the Ward Psynergy, it stops their attempts dead! Didn't help me when they took my fucking SWORD, but I’m still in here, so that counts for something.
Alice nodded and reached into her pocket again, revealing a Knight of Diamonds.
“Dullahan, you seem like the kind of guy who’s just been through too much without any way to get your anger out, so whenever you feel like it, summon me or whatever, if you need to vent my blade is sheathed but ready.” The sentence was followed by a quick jab with her sword, and she sheathed it quicker than the eye could follow.
Dullahan carefully took the card and gave the impression of nodding. Let me reciprocate.
He put his right hand on his sword and shifted his shield so the left was visible. I hate this part.
A book slowly faded into view, and when it was just about real, it flashed once, blindingly, before fading back to normal. Dullahan tossed it towards Alice. Hold the book and say my name three times, so as to prevent accidental summonings, and I shall aid you as well.
Alice caught the book in mid-air, and to Dullahan’s surprise took her hat off, and slid it in, there was not even a dent or thud to indicate that it had landed.
“I shall keep it safe, but I’m afraid my family must be getting worried sick, I would invite you to dinner, but I think you simply do not have the guts to sit through it all.”
Dullahan groaned. Okay, that one actually hurt. I should be getting back as well, Newvale must be going bonkers without me.
Just as Dullahan had charged his Teleport up again, he paused. am curious. My greatest crime, in their eyes, has been my stubborn survival. What of yours?
Alice was silent for a while, before her face darkened until her eyes were just white dots in a never ending swirl of darkness.
“My greatest crime..? This time, no pun intended, you really need a firm head between your shoulders to understand why I did what I did, do you think you honestly can, again, no pun intended, stomach it?” Alice looked like she was about to shed a tear, but her face hardened and she sat down.
Dullahan drew one step closer before realizing that it was probably a bad idea. I may lack them now, but my shoulders are always free, my ears ready to listen. I have been away, mostly locked away, for fifteen hundred years. All I knew is dust. All I did was good. Granted, unconventionally. But I damn well did it, and her royal sunass didn’t see it! So I’m willing to listen to your tale.
Alice sighed and leaned back, now lying on her back.
“I guess, the very largest one, was the murder of Sol, Celestia’s father, thirteen hundred and eighty two years ago, if I remember correctly, bastard damn deserved it, father my ass, he abused both Celestia and Selene, he wasn’t wise, he was not kind, and most certainly, did not see past his own snout.” Alice gave off a dry laugh. “ Of course, Celestia wasn’t one to ever see my points, and instead think I did it just to kill, it was my first, true murder you know? I felt like shit for almost a year afterwards, he deserved it but I think I almost died due to dehydration during that year, gotta thank my family back then, Diamond helped me through a lot, Sol was a god in the eyes of his subjects, they never saw the crimes he did, just the few goodwill's, which were scarce as it was.”
Dullahan said nothing, but his right hand was twitching violently. If you looked, you could see jets of flames coming from the seams. While I may not agree with your methods. People like him. They have a special place in hell. One I would be remiss in not helping the right legal departments in speeding them towards.
'Dullahan drew his blade and held it in front of where his face would be. My methods are a bit more...refined. Less gorey. Then again, curses usually are. I cursed a rapist so that he would experience the pain of childbirth if he were to even try and lay with a mare until he took responsibility for his foal. Cursed a businessman to give back a shop so a family wasn’t on the streets, or he’d suffer when he entered his place of business. And so on. I have yet to harm a pony besides Sombra.
Alice nodded sadly and stood at her tallest height, still slightly shorter than Dullahan.
“You know, I don’t know whoever taught Celestia her sword skills in your universe, but in my universe I was the one who taught her how to use a sword, we named it together, and she stabbed me with it. Right through the chest cabinet, severing my spine.” Alice chuckled.
“But, it matters little when it comes to one such as me, and do you know why, Dullahan?”
Dullahan would have cocked his head. Because Madness never dies? It merely is...reborn?
“For being a bunch of metal, you’re pretty sharp. Close but no cigar, you see, I used to be immortal, used to never have to fear death, Luna, however, was not. Me and Celestia tried our best to search for a solution, I finally found one, and we were working around the side effects when she suddenly got ill.” Alice gave off another dry chuckle.
“I went into The Black Rose, and Celestia ripped my wings out, on my own request mind you.” She made a circular motion with her hand.
“The Black Rose is when I reach such levels of anger or madness that it simply can’t be contained in mortal form, so my sword vanishes, so does the rest of my weapon, a pair of bloody claws appears on the end of my fingers, I grow a pair of dark blue wings and several horns, it’s the way I killed Sol, it went into a true battle of gods, Madness versus Sol itself, I don’t remember much of it other than waking up next to his corpse.” Alice’s hand reached towards her back and she flinched.
“It still hurts, you know? I liked my wings, but I thought that the immortality of Luna would surpass a little pain for a while.” She sighed.
Allow me to guess. Some bit of you survived in the wings, and over time, Luna wasn’t herself anymore.
Alice chuckled.
“Wrong, Armor Boy, you see, compared to me and Celestia, Luna was still young, and attempted something foolish, to wield The Vorpal Blade.” She hefted her sword to emphasize her point.
“That’s when something snapped, my wings were, possibly, the most sane part of my being, but The Vorpal Blade is where all the madness stacks up, she picked it up for a mere minute, but it was enough to inflict permanent damage.” She sighed.
Fair enough. The madness of normal humans is bad enough, especially Lovecraft. I don’t even wanna think about everything you’ve gone through stacking up like that and being inflicted on a pony. They seem to be...more pure. MOST of the time.
Alice, as if struck, fell on the ground.
“Aye’, I figured that out the hard way, you see my immortality isn’t what it used to be, where in before I could walk through tartarus without achieving a scratch, now I can barely battle Cerberus, that sad dog, so lonely.” She slowly lifted herself to her feet.
“Something, however, that you must always know is that corruption is not made. Things may seem innocent, but there’s always corruption there.”
Aye, but these are ponies, herbivores, herd animals. The instinct to do one another harm is lesser, and we should be there for those who think to step out of line.
Alice shifted uncomfortably, a small sigh escaping her lips.
“That’s true, would you like to meet my family? I think i’ve managed to figure out a solution to your no eating dilemma, I’ll make you a body, a temporary one.”
Alice smiled and pointed towards a cave on the edge of a mountain.
Dullahan shifted his body towards it and sighed. An actual repast? My dear, so long as you promise the temporary bit, I...I am sorely...aw, screw it. YES! I want to FEEL again, if only for a time! Newvale can do without me for a night!
-----
Dullahan looked at the green and black stone dubiously.
Are you sure this will work? His voice echoed in the cave.
Alice gave of a dry laugh, in a mock German accent responded with
“Of’ courze it vill vork, I’ve done tis’ many times before friend.” She held the stone above his flames.
“Now, if I got this right, you just need to focus your soul at the flames and the crystal will suck it in, if it doesn't work we’ll just try again, Soulstones are not hard to find, surprisingly.”
I’m getting the strangest urge to call you Doktor, but okay…
“Now usually, I take the soul of the deceased to do this, but I guess you are, technically speaking, so just focus your soul and we’ll be done in a jiffy, okay?”
Dullahan let his presence in the armor flare up, and directed it up to where his neck would be. Like this?
Alice looked at the spectacle with a look that could only be translated to ‘Holy mothers of god.’
“Oh, zat is very nize, now just hold sztil’...”
Okay, Medic...
“Usually, you shouldn't be awake for this part, and most dead souls wouldn't be able to withstand this voltage, but i’m pretty sure your so-” Crash, Alice remained silent.
What was noise?
She made her way to the fridge.
“That iz zé szound of progress, my friend” A much larger soulstone now shimmered blue and red from capturing Dullahan’s soul.
She came back into his view with the larger soulstone.
Is this the best idea?
Dullahan’s voice echoed across the cave again, and Alice responded in a slight chuckle as she pulled the white cloth from a sewed together corpse, she held the soulstone above where the body’s heart would be and merrily answered with
“I HAVE NO IDEA!” The soulstone embedded itself in now Dullahan’s body's heart, and with a jolt his soul transferred.
“Oh, zat looks nice.”
The body shot up in a sitting position and made to clasp its head with its hands. “My head, you didn't-”
He cut himself off as he realized something. “My voice. My hands. I...I can feel. I can talk normally. I’m ALIVE!”
He began laughing, occasionally it turned a bit more maniacal, but he slowly calmed down and looked to Alice. “You...you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much, even if it’s temporary.”
Alice shrugged and pulled off the somehow blood splattered gloves.
“I can only do so much, necromancy was my mother’s side, my father was always more of a hunter, never taught me much to begin with.” She cracked her neck and pointed to the armor.
“There’s clothes below it, it’s black with gold stripes, all I could find on such short notice, but it’s better than being butt-naked, carry the armor, it shouldn't be too heavy.”
Dullahan moved to the clothes and grunted. “It wasn't when I was alive or in it, as long I had the sword. Take it, and I’ve not the strength to bloody move. Still, you’re right. Shouldn’t leave it lying about.”
Alice kept cracking her limbs, and with a small sigh of satisfaction she made her way to the door, a grunting Dullahan in tow.
“Well, you seem like a trustworthy guy, but I won’t tell you the combination to the door, too risky if someone were to hear it, so if you ever come here, just knock seven times, wait thirteen second and stomp on the ground, Ace should answer the door then.” She pushed a few buttons and the door opened, revealing a slightly dustier tunnel.
“Let’s hope I don’t forget it in a time of need. Or that there are no times of need.”
Alice didn’t respond as a eerie light came from the ceiling, a low hanging lightbulb with a gem inside it lit up the entire tunnel.
“Now, my house might be a shocker, but if you’ve ever played Madness Returns you’ll know what it is.” This left Dullahan wondering what she was talking about, until they reached it.
The house floated in the air, teapots and tea coming out of parts everywhere, the thing looked like a castle up-close, the stairs came to life with a soft, green glow, as if accepting the new member.
“That’s why I didn’t change your body in here, the house itself would reject you, don’t know why it does that.”
Dullahan shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me, but I’ve just had a thought. What if I needed to be in my armor again? What would happen?”
Alice stopped, turned around and pointed at his heart, the slightly black spot encasing his chest.
“Simple, shove a dagger into the Soulstone, your soul will return to the armor, trust me on that, your human body doesn't exist anymore, thus it’ll go to the armor, and if you’re lucky it might even allow you to shift between them, but that’s very rare and I wouldn’t hope for it.”
Dullahan nodded, but asked again. “Not unexpected, but not what I was getting at. What would the house do then?”
Alice stopped and gave Dullahan a straight face.
“It would probably see you as a temporary visitor, and if you were out of range from me or my family it would teleport you to the other side of the world, it weakens the overall spell, but i’m not one for risks.”
Dullahan nodded again. “A fair answer. One I might have to implement myself, when I finally get some sort of domicile up for my own usage. And I hate to ask, but...Are we there yet? This armor’s heavy when I’m not in it.”
Alice laughed and pushed a door open, the wood being white and a large ace painted on it, a sword was seemingly used as the handle.
“We’re there now, just watch out for Ace, he’s a bit protective of me, you’ll know who it is when you see him.”
Dullahan gulped. “I’m not sure if any of my powers apply to this body, so warning noted.”
Alice nodded.
“That’s for the best, and if he does try to attack you, and pray to whatever deity you believe in that he doesn’t, don’t try to fight him, just crush the soulstone and stay close to me.” A thud echoed in the house.
“And it seems he’s right behind you, say hello, Ace.”
Dullahan craned his neck around and felt the blood drain from his face as a surely three meter tall man with a even larger scythe looked down on him.
“Did you know Alice has a lovely singing voice?”
Dullahan didn’t know what prompted that question, why he asked it of Ace, or why any part of him thought it was a good idea. It probably wasn’t.
Ace watched him with a stoic expression, reached towards Dullahan, and ruffled his hair.
“Alice, you’re telling me this boy heard you sing? What is he? A demon? Not even Diamond have heard you sing!”
Dullahan chuckled a bit. “Not...far off the mark. I used to just be a spirit in the armor, but Alice changed that. It’s been fifteen hundred years since I could feel, and I’m thankful for it.”
Ace’s eyes narrowed to slits, he leaned forward and almost soundlessly whispered in Dullahans ear
“Keep it at gratefulness, Boy, else you’ll find yourself in a predicament.”
Dullahan gulped but replied, he’d been a big brother once himself. “Frankly, sir, your insinuations offend me. This is temporary. I wouldn’t even dream of it.”
Alice sneaked up behind him and put a hand on his arm.
“What, i’m not pretty enough for you?” She gave off a laugh as blood rushed to Dullahan’s face, Ace shot Alice a disapproving look.
“It’s not that, but frankly, when it requires an interdimensional teleport to see a girl, I quantify it as a long-distance relationship that can’t work.”
This time, Ace gave off a laugh.
“Well, at least you got a sense of humor, just last time someone tried to flirt with Alice here they found themselves on the short end of a blade, she’s more of the ‘Action before Talk’ girl.”
Dullahan’s new stomach growled then, and he looked sheepishly at the both of them. “Did I mention it’s been a while since I ate anything?”
Ace gave him a look.
“Yeah, I figured.” He then shot Alice a look, who just watched him with a deadpan expression.
“Fine, i’ll go get Clubs, she’ll be happy to cook something for the boy here, speaking of which, I do not believe I asked your name?”
Dullahan stuck a hand out. “Dullahan, Sir Ace. Friends call me Dully, or,” and here he shot a look at Alice, “‘Armor Boy,’ apparently.”
Ace gave of a small smile and took Dullahan’s hand, he felt the bones almost get crushed into mush under his iron grip.
“I’m Ace, Ace of Hearts, and drop the Sir thing, i’ve done nothing deserving such a title.” With that, Ace straightened his back and scattered off to god knows where.
Dullahan shook his hand a bit to get feeling back into it. “You weren’t kidding,” he muttered.
Alice shook her head with a sad smile.
“He’s a combination of Dragon and Minotaur, he does forget his strength whenever his mind is elsewhere.”
Dullahan merely made to put the armor in a corner. “Well, where shall we partake of our repast, then?”
Alice gave him a strange look.
“I’m Swedish, i’ve no idea what repast means, but my guess is the Clubs is all over the place cooking something together, she’s an excellent cook, just a bit messy, ever met that pony name Pinkie Pie? Imagine her with the strength of a smaller dragon.” She started walking in what seemed to be a random direction.
Dullahan shuddered at the mental image. “Do not want to see that. Don’t want to see her on any energy drinks either. Oh! Just remembered something. Don’t touch the sword.”
Alice merely shrugged.
“The Sword, whatever it’s called, is under the house’s protection, unless I allow them to touch it, it won’t be touched, I do not betray friends, Armor Boy.”
Dullahan sighed at the memories he was drudging up. “It’s...it’s not a question of your loyalty. It’s me protecting you and yours. Like your Blade contains your madness, I’m told by others my blade contains a moment of mine. My Discord was a normal enough bloke. Mischievous, yes. But one day he tried to take the sword from me to understand its strength.”
Dullahan gazed into the distance. “The moment he brushed against it physically? He...changed. He got his crazy eyes and mismatched teeth. Magically, anyone can move the darn thing, and when I’m in my armor, I don’t notice it. But touching it physically is a no-no. I asked him afterwards what he saw, and he gave me one line. Limitless knowledge is fine and dandy until you gain limitless understanding.”
Alice gave a slight nod at that, her stops slowing down to a stop.
“Back… back when I first arrived here I was confused, utterly helpless and oh so very lost, but when I found Celestia fighting off some called court unicorns on her own, I had to help her, I kept the sword to myself, I knew something was wrong with it.” She started walking again
“But I never noticed anything different, it’s just that feeling you get when you stand beneath something extremely heavy, and you feel the weight of it above you, just waiting for a nudge to crash down.”
Dullahan sighed. “Mine is different, clearly. I once asked myself a question when I was alive. I asked how everything, everything works. And when I found I could answer it...there’s a reason some things are not meant to be known by man. Discord knew about as much about alternate realities and dimensional travel as the average American knows about how electricity comes out of the wall sockets. But the sword...I looked, once, at the Multiverse and all it’s glory and horror. The Void Eternal, and That Which Fills It. I...I still can’t even think about it.”
He shuddered a bit as his memories took a more unpleasant turn. “And the sword captured that moment perfectly. Anyone who touches it sees what I saw.”
Alice shuddered at the thought and glanced down to the sword attached to her hip.
“The same goes for me, mortal bodies can’t comprehend how deep madness truly goes, and when I tried to look at it in it’s full glory and horror… I still have nightmares, Dullahan, It was thirteen hundred years ago, no, more. And I still can’t get a proper nights rest, whilst yours might have been everything of the multiverse… I saw all the madness of it, everything creepy or strange any being has ever thought of, in one place.”
A tear fell to the floor.
“This world, as well as the next, is no purer than humans, Dullahan, just remember that.”
Dullahan shook his head. “While there is no more purity here than any other, the potential for goodness is greater here. And I will strive, every day, to prove Murphy and his damnable law wrong. If not for me, if not for my madness, then for someone who was wronged, in spite of all the odds against me. Because if I don’t. Who will?”
Alice put her hand on his arm,
“People like me, Dullahan, everything I stand for, to be the speck of light in the darkness and the shadow on a sunny day, is truly for the well being of others, i’m thirteen hundred years mental age, and two hundred physical age. Let me ask you a question, back on Earth, did you ever play any of the Silent Hill games?” Her hand went to the scar again.
Dullahan shrugged. “Thought about it, watched some others play it. Never got into the series myself. Horror wasn’t my cup of tea, I preferred adventure. But I knew of it, about as much as I knew about...this place, before I came here.”
Alice nodded sagely with a slight smile on her face.
“I met a man, he called himself Pyramid Head, the only one i’ve ever met that’s more twisted than me, he killed, raped, mortified and even twisted the bodies into his own creation, and to fight him, do you know what I had to do? Can you guess,”
Dullahan paled a bit at the mention of the name. “Pyramid head? Fighting him? Those words do not belong in the same phrase. You don’t fight him. You run.”
Alice smiled.
“Aye’, you do, but you can still fight him, you can try, I managed to find his weakness, a simple nudge in the right place and he’s powerless, did you know that on his left finger he carries a ring?” Alice waved her hand around to emphasize her point.
“Like me with my sword. Or you with...whatever your artifact is. We all have a weakness. Mine is also my strength.”
Alice smiled and held her right hand up in front of her face, it formed as if to cuff something.
“Armor Boy, your body was used with the arms of Minotaurs and insides taken from a dragon, you’re very strong, punch my hand with every fiber of your being, and you’ll know my artifact.”
Dullahan looked at his arm, looked at Alice’s hand, looked back at his arm, and shook his head. “I’ve learned a few things about women when I was alive by watching my dad mess up. The one thing I learned is there are always more things to learn. Learning this about you would clear up nothing. It’d just reveal a new mystery.”
Alice dropped her hand and shrugged.
“The adventurous type, eh? Want to feel the thrill of discovering something on your own? Fine by me, but know this then; I used a lot of my magic to create that body of yours, and I mean it almost drained my artifact.”
Dullahan nodded. “Let us hope then that I don’t need to jump from it.”
A voice cut in then. A deep voice. Too late.
Alice instantly unsheathed her sword, it stood in a ready position as she scanned the corridor.
“Whoever you are, you hold no power here” under her breath she whispered to Dullahan “Are you religious?”
“Not a bit,” he replied.
I am ashamed of you, lodestone in Dullahan’s form. Jumping realities, that’s one thing. Abandoning your body is another.
Alice’s face began creeping into a smile, and somehow Dullahan could hear her speaking without actually understanding the words.
“Dullahan, when I say Diamond, I want you to dash down the corridor, take the first door to the left and pick up your armor, it will be there when you arrive, you needn’t to destroy your soulstone to change if you’re touching it, just don’t touch your sword ‘till afterwards, do the exact same thing like you did with the flames.”
Dullahan nodded, and then he noticed the color hovering above them. He craned his neck back and gasped.
Hovering over the pair was a giant gray boulder with a single unblinking blue eye set into it. He whispered out of reflex its name.
“The Wise One…”
Indeed.
Alice spared a slight glance at the orb and cracked a smile.
“You know, it was truly foolish for you to enter the domain of Madness, even those that I do invite need to be under my direct protection, let’s just say bad things happen’ to those that is not.” Her smile went wide, and with a sharp intake of air she yelled out two things.
“MORTIEM! DIAMOND!” Dullahan instantly dashed for the door, and another, slightly darker orb without a eye on it appeared next to the other one.
Child, I go where I will. My lodestone wandered out of his reality. I have come to...retrieve him.
Alice responded with a sad laugh.
“I’m flattered by you coming all the way over here just for him, but i’m sad that gods are not allowed to fight, are they? Very much so in a mortal domain, and you’re the one who invaded this reality, and unless you’re careful, I know a very powerful man who owes me a favor.” Her smile became twisted and she traced the scar on her arm.
“After all, he gave me a souvenir.”
The sound of shifting metal caught their attention, and Dullahan walked in, back in his armored form. It would be incorrect to call him a god, Alice. He is powerful, yes. But he was constructed. Gods are not made, they are.
Alice’s smile could not have grown wider.
“So you’re telling me, that he isn’t even a god? Oh man! He’s just like a lost puppy searching for his toy, sadly, that toy is no longer his.” She pulled out a very, very small pyramid head and held it between her fingers.
“Wouldn’t you agree, Pyramid Head?” The small toy gave no reply.
He is powerful because he was made to look after four artifacts, the foci of powers such as mine. And tell me, how do you kill a boulder? One that is a master in ways I will never be with Psynergy?
Alice turned her smile to Dullahan.
“Why, of course, you see the fight with me and Pyramid Head ended in a draw, but due to request of his god, I did not come back to fight him, they say he follows no one, he may be a king, and I a queen, but we barely know eachother, isn’t that right?” The toy, again, gave no reply, but a faint echoing of metal on metal could be heard.
Dullahan somehow gulped, knowing what this could be, and before he could voice any protests, the Wise One decided to interrupt.
That is ENOUGH, Dullahan. I AM your superior, and you WILL return. I am the God of Psynergy, and-
Dullahan cut him off. You are NO GOD. You were made by the Ancients to protect a land from something they thought dangerous, and you FAILED. Even your final gambit failed. The Golden Sun shone. You are no god of mine. Superior…
He drew his sword and pointed it at the boulder. We will have to see, won’t we?
Alice smiled in approval towards Dullahan.
“Armor Boy, i’ve an idea, why shouldn’t Mr. God face The God of Silent? Aleesa I think she was called, can’t remember, but she’s the only one Pyramid Head ever responds to, even if just slightly, because if he’s so convinced he’s a god, he should be able to wink us out of existence, but I don’t feel any different.”
The scraping of metal on metal became louder.
And even if he was, I have a line I’d like to use before he decides to get angry.
Dullahan gave off the impression of smiling.
What is a god...to a non-believer?
This time around, silence reigned, the scraping of metal had become silent, and Mortiem still loomed in the shadows.
“Dullahan… Me and Pyramid Head used that exact same line, when we first encountered a god.”
Dullahan turned to Alice. Did it work?
She smirked back at him.
“It sure did, Armor Boy, she whisked out of existence.”
The fact that the Wise One was still hovering told him exactly what he was.
I would love to stay and chat. But frankly, the idea that this guy’s watching me irks me. I’m gonna help, if only to beat one answer out of him.
Alice nodded and pulled out a card, King of Diamonds.
“But how rude of me, Sir I-wanna-be-aGodMcSwagger, I completely forgot to introduce you to my family.” She took another breath of air.
“GUYS! WE HAVE GUESTS!” The card slammed into the ground, and with a resounding groan several more human looking creatures appeared, including Diamond, Clubs, Ace, Knight and Spades.
Get down here, O Wiseass, and tell me. WHY DID YOU CALL ME YOUR LODESTONE?
The Wise One blinked before responding. Your sword. Your armor. They call to me across the dimensions. I sensed similar charges to the one I was meant to protect. I will come to your world soon enough. And when I am, I will rule.
“Tough tits big guy, unless you’re planning to face more madness then you can fit in the multiverse coming from two beings, I think that’s a bad idea.” Alice finished with a smirk and pulled out her teapot cannon, it started charging.
The Wise One did not notice.
Dullahan growled. Get him down here. Let’s see how he holds up against limitless understanding.
Alice responded with a sophisticated voice fit for a queens wedding, “With pleasure.” The bolt of acidic liquid leaped from the Teapot Cannon, the boiling green acid colliding with ‘The Wise One’
As it hit him, he actually screamed. What power is that?! I should be protected! There are no equals to my power!
This time, Alice laughed.
“That my friend, was just a single shot from the Teapot Cannon, it’s a little something I discovered a while back, it’s liquefied madness, WantoBeGodMcSwaggerGuy, and you know what they say about insanity and madness, it always finds a way, nothing is perfect.”
The Wise One growled. You and yours just angered me, child!
With a rush of air, everyone except Alice and Dullahan were pushed against the walls of the corridor.
The wind stopped and Alice smiled, showing off a row of canines, instead of the usual teeth humans had.
In front of her, you could see a simple umbrella outstretched, nothing special about it, it seemed, it vanished into a lot of butterflies.
Dullahan merely responded with Element swap, Jupiter! Plasma!
A ball of lightning erupted from the sword and made its way over to the Wise One, impacted, and…
Nothing changed about the boulder at all.
I think he’s protected against my powers. Yours are the ones he didn’t foresee.
Alice pulled out a ring from her pocket and put it on her finger.
“Mister Wise Guy, do you know what this ring is?” She asked, admiring the azure blue texture of the runes.
I am uncertain why I should care. I will find out how to harm you soon enough, child.
Alice, however, grinned in face of the threat.
“Aye’, you may think it’s just something fancy, or something powerful, it’s neither of, across the multiverse, there are three beings that can truly claim the titles of Madness, The Lady of Madness, me. The Lord of Horror, Pyramid Head, and last but not least, The Slayer of Titans, Jack of Blades. If you are harmed by one of us, what will not only two, but three do?”
The Wise One’s eye rapidly moved back and forth as he went over the implications. Two other beings with this much strength? I...I will find some way to repay this injury one day. But right now, all I require is my lodestone, back in his proper dimension. Stand aside, child.
Alice pulled out something red and gold, with a lever on the back of it.
“Do you know what this is, then? It’s called The Pepper Grinder, imagine a rapid fire Teapot Cannon, are you sure you want to try your luck right now, Fake god?”
The Wise One actually sighed. Why? Why do you defend him?
She looked at Dullahan and smiled.
“Why do I defend Armor Boy, you ask? He’s just like me, only he’s stronger, he did not give in to temptation, and if you’re going to rip him away from a place he wants to be in, or to bring him back where he doesn’t want to be, you’ll have to do it over my cold, dead hands.” Her smile grew wider.
“Plus, if you truly are so wise, riddle me this; Who was the first being I ever truly slayed in this dimension, reality and realm?”
The Wise One looked around. I have only been observing Dullahan’s reality, only now did I look into this one in search of him. I know not the answer to your question.
This time Alice’s smile died.
“So much for being wise, huh?”
Before he could explode, she continued.
“Look for someone called Sol Termentio, he used to be an old sun god of this realm, an abusive, arrogant one, but a god none the less.”
The Wise One actually looked worried. You...oh...Oh my. You...Well. It’s...it’s slightly worse than what I’ve done. Yes. You killed a god. And…
At this, he sighed. Fine. I admit it. I am...outmatched. But mark my words, lodestone. I will come for you and yours.
Alice looked almost disappointed as he began to flicker out of existence, the last thing he saw before vanishing from this reality was a very, very large shiny unicorn head made out of silver colliding with him.
Dullahan sighed. Well, that’s put a damper on the evening. And quite frankly, now I’m worried about Newvale. I do hope you don’t take offense to me leaving before dinner.
Alice laughed.
“No, not at all, just be in bed before nine and pack warm clothing, it’s cold outside today.”
Dullahan laughed as well. When you lose your body, you’ll find things like sleep and warmth mean nothing, but okay, MOM, I’ll see you around.
Alice just sighed and sat down.
“I’ll miss ya, haven’t seen another human in over a thousand years, none the less, i’ll come if you call.”
Was the same for me afore I met Solaire. Try looking him up in the Multiversal phone book. If there is one. I’ll come back some day. Possibly.
And with that, Dullahan had charged up his Teleport psynergy and vanished in a flash of light.
“I hope that child’ll be alright, he seemed like a decent enough person, more than I can say for most of our visitors, Alice.” Ace smiled down at her.
“Well, my appetite is ruined, i’m going to bed.” Alice stalked down the same corridor, before fading into the darkness around them.