It really didn't take long for Granny Smith to nod off again, and just like that, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were free to begin their careers as fireponies.
"Whut do we do first?" asked Apple Bloom as the three ran, their short legs carrying them as fast as possible towards town.
"Duh! We put out fires and save ponies, obviously!" said Scootaloo excitedly.
"Uhhh... no, we should probably get some water or something first," Sweetie Belle countered.
Scootaloo blinked. That did make sense. "I... I knew that. I-it just goes without saying, that's all!"
"Wish ah had mah Junior Firepony hat from last summer's Field Days," Apple Bloom said to nopony in particular.
"Help! Somepony help me!" a voice shouted. The three skidded to a halt, trying to pinpoint the direction the cry had come from.
“That way!” said Sweetie Belle, pointing her hoof.
“That way” turned out to lead the three to a four-story house. And Carrot Top.
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! PLEASE! SOMEPONY HELP ME!” shouted the earth pony-turned-unicorn, and she dashed into the building. Moments later, a ray of magic blasted out of the roof, igniting the building in flames.
“WHOA!” said the three in unison.
“C’MON! WE GOTTA HELP!” said Apple Bloom, and she ran into the building after Carrot Top without hesitation.
“Wait!” Sweetie Belle cried, but Apple Bloom paid no notice, dashing up the stairs, fire licking at the wood all around her. It was much hotter in there than the little filly had even imagined, and there was already a lot of smoke.
“I’ll save you, Miss Carrot Top!” Apple Bloom shouted. Reaching the top of stairs, she listened, trying to locate Carrot Top over the snap and crackle of flames. She pinpointed her in the room to the right at the end of the burning hallway at the sound of a sob. “Hold on!” Apple Bloom cried.
Carrot Top’s eyes widened when she saw the little yellow filly enter the room. “No!” she said. “Get away! I can’t control it!” Her panicked eyes widened even further when she felt another burst of energy building in her horn. “Oh no! No! NO! GET AWAY! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO HURT YOU!”
Apple Bloom stopped in her tracks, a confused look crossing her features as Carrot Top fell to the floor, throwing her hooves over her head. “Miss… Carrot Top?” she said, taking a cautious hoofstep forward as Carrot Top’s body started to glow.
“NO! NO! APPLE BLOOM, PLEASE! RUN!”
Apple Bloom froze. This was not what she imagined being a firepony would be like at all. The ponies they saved were supposed to be grateful and happy to see them! What was wrong with Miss Carrot Top? What was going on?
The magic energy began building in Carrot Top’s horn, pointed straight at the unsuspecting little filly. Through the haze of pain and confusion, Carrot Top felt her heart seize up in her chest. She had caused so much damage tonight, but, to the best of her knowledge, she hadn't actually hurt anypony. But now... she couldn't stop it!
Just as her horn energy was about to reach its peak…
“Apple Bloom! Get outta the way!” shouted Scootaloo as she and Sweetie Belle charged into the room, carrying a bucket full of water between them. With a heave, the two splashed water on the super-heating Carrot Top.
The water struck Carrot Top, and sizzled on contact. Then, with a massive, blinding flash and a crackling sound, the magic glow died out.
“Wh-what?” said Carrot Top.
“Yay! We did it! Cutie Mark Crusaders Fireponies yay!” said Sweetie Belle, raising her forehoof in the air.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Fireponies yay!” repeated Scootaloo, meeting Sweetie Belle's hoof with her own.
Apple Bloom took a moment to recover from the adrenaline fallout from the little near-death-by-incineration prior to her friends’ timely arrival, but soon echoed the sentiment, “Cutie Mark Crusaders Fireponies yay!” and her own hoof touched the other two in celebration.
“I… I can’t believe that worked…” said Carrot Top disbelieveingly. “W… water?” she said, looking herself over, feeling the awful sensations throughout her body one by one come to a stop, feeling the horrible horn recede beck into her forehead. “T… that’s all it took? Water?!” Looking up at the fillies, she smiled in relieved bewilderment. "I don't know how to thank you, girls!"
Apple Bloom adopted her best impression of the swagger she imagined a professional firepony might have, "No need ta thank us, ma'am," she said, deepening her voice a bit. "All in a day's work."
That was when the roof collapsed into the hallway, cutting off their route downstairs with burning debris.
"Nuts," was Scootaloo's comment.
. . .
Derpy growled in frustration. These clouds were all TERRIBLE!
Everfree clouds were difficult to move, almost as if they were extra heavy, and what's more, they were completely unpredictable! Most of them didn't let out any rain at all when the pegasus bucked them, they just tended to shoot lightning out in completely abnormal, random directions instead. And Derpy wan't especially good with lightning clouds under the best conditions.
“C’mon, clouds! You gotta… work with me… here!” she said, punctuating her plea with a series of kicks to the latest uncooperative cloud.
A lightning bolt sizzled out of the cloud in a direction completely the opposite of what her weather training had specified it should be, striking the Ponyville Bank and almost immediately catching it on fire. No rain came out of the cloud.
Derpy put a forehoof to her face. “My bad,” she said, sheepishly.
Well, I guess it’s all right. I’m trying my best. It doesn’t matter what the other ponies will say to me, I’m trying.
...I just wish that I could get something right… just once.
Derpy sighed. She couldn’t let her thoughts go down that road. Negativity wasn’t what she needed right now. There was work to be done, and Derpy was not going to beat herself up when she could be helping.
Even if I only make things worse.
“No!” she said aloud. “No, I don’t! I’m helpful! And I am going to help, and I am going to be useful!” she said. And it worked: she felt a lot better with a little encouragement, even if that encouragement had come from herself.
Thoroughly psyched up, she looked around, trying to come up with a new plan. That was when she heard the cries for help.
“Somepony help us!” drawled the terrified filly voice.
“Apple Bloom? That sounded like Apple Bloom!” Derpy swiveled her ears this way and that, trying to locate where the cry had come from.
. . .
"Ah don't think anypony can hear me," Apple Bloom said, worriedly. She turned away from the room's only window to look at her friends and Carrot Top, her ears drooping. "Ah'm scared."
Carrot Top coughed. The smoke stung her eyes. She could occasionally hear creaking and groaning as parts of the building fell apart in the flames. "It'll be alright girls," she said, in what she hoped was a reassuring tone.
Why did I make that stupid potion? she thought, sadly.
She forced a smile. "It'll be alright," she said again. "I promise."
Sweetie Belle gave a little cough, wiping her own eyes, "R-really?" she said, not really believing Carrot Top, but willing to allow herself to pretend, because thinking about any other possibility was much too scary.
"Of course it'll be alright!" said Derpy.
Startled, the four of them turned to look out the window, where Derpy Hooves hovered. Her eyes were pointed in two random directions and she had a huge open-mouthed grin. She was the most beautiful sight any of them had ever seen.
"D!" said Carrot Top happily.
"Miss Hooves!" Apple Bloom shouted.
"Hi girls! Hi CT! Hey, you're all better!" Derpy replied, noticing Carrot Top was no longer a mutant unicorn. "Noticing that Carrot Top was no longer a mutant unicorn," was one of those observations that most ponies would just never have to worry about making in their lifetimes. Truly, Derpy lead a charmed life.
"Yes, but, maybe we can talk in a minute? Do you think you could fly us out of here, D?" Carrot Top said, the heat of the fire and the choking smoke very much making their presence known to her senses.
“Sure, I can do that! One at a time, though, please!”
Of course, right then the roof collapsed, blocking the window with burning, heavy wooden beams.
Because it had been that kind of night, really.
"Nuts," was Derpy's comment.
. . .
"So... uh... what d'ya think's goin' on here?" Applejack said to her brother, who stood next to her in the street.
Big Mac shrugged.
"Is that Pinkie that Bon-Bon's got in a headlock?"
"Eeyup."
"Buncha ponies dressed up in pajamas?"
"Eeyup."
"So... that'd be Fluttershy over there then? Throwin' cupcakes at Cheerilee?"
"Sugar bear."
"Whut was that?"
"Ah said 'eeyup.'"
"R... right. And of course that's R.D. passed out over there."
"Eeyup."
Applejack and Big Mac circumnavigated the melee, walking a good distance around the four struggling, frothing, screaming mares.
Big Mac resolved quietly to remember this image.
"Quit starin'. Don't you have any shame?" Applejack said flatly, glaring.
He smiled sheepishly in response.
The two came up to Rainbow Dash's upside-down form. The pegasus lay on her back, her feet propped up against a house (a house with a pegasus-sized dent in it). Rainbow's eyes were rolling comically in her head, and her ninja uniform was torn and dirty. Apparently, that was some kick Bon-Bon had.
"Think she's all right?" Applejack asked, concerned.
Big Mac leaned in close to look.
Rainbow Dash chose precisely that moment to regain consciousness, raising her head sharply, and bashing her head straight into Macintosh's.
"Ow!" she said, her head falling back from the impact and bumping on the cobblestone street. "OW!"
"Mmf!" Mac said in reply, rubbing his nose and trying vainly to keep his eyes from tearing up.
"What the hay is going on? How did I get here?" A pause. "And what am I wearing?! My wings are stuck in this thing!"
"Rainbow?" said Applejack.
"Well, I'm not freaking Celestia! Yeah, who do I look like?!" sniped the cyan pegasus.
"Well, I agree the resemblance is not a strong one, though we do share the multi-hued mane, I suppose," said a rich, regal voice from nearby, accompanied by four soft clicks as hooves alighted gently on the cobbles. Celestia knew how to make an entrance, her wings spread wide, nose up (just so) in the air, her white coat and her pastel mane and tail shining with a light all their own in the faint red night.
...Which was kind of a silly sight when put right next to the four mares wrestling in the dirty street.
"The Daimyo!" cried Flutter-Riko, dropping Cheerilee from her choke-hold, her eyes wide. “I will destroy you!”
“Your highness!" Cheerilee said in surprise, gently rubbing her throat. "...Pardon me a moment,” she said politely, and non-chalantly delivered Flutter-Riko a fierce headbutt, knocking the yellow ninja out cold. "My apple-low-geez, your harness," she blearily said as she attempted to effect a formal bow while swaying unsteadily, with modest success.
"No... apologies needed, of course, my subject. And you have my thanks, though I must say that this was not the most threatening assassination attempt I have seen in my time."
"I gas the Elephant of Kindness is maybe not so much scary very much," Cheerilee replied matter-of-factly, nodding in agreement.
"...Yes. Well... said," the corner of Celestia's mouth turned down slightly in a subtle display of concern.
"Daimyō! Anata no uragiri wa todomaru o shiranai nodesu ka? Anata wa nani no meiyo mo nai? Watashi ni chokumen shite iru![9]" shouted Pinkie-Kage, struggling against Bon-Bon's head lock.
Celestia turned to Pinkie-Kage. She smiled. "Watashi wa ninjade wa nai to omoimasu! Wareware wa tatakai ni hi dzume o yokogiru nodeareba, sore wa kono yoru ni narimasen! Kon'ya, daimyō no shōri![10]"
Pinkie-Kage's mouth hung open.
Moving right along, the Princess turned to the others, "Has anypony seen Trixie the unicorn? I was hoping to resolve her... situation, but I can't seem to find her anywhere!"
"No, your majesty," grunted Bon-Bon, still holding tight to Pinkie-Kage.
"Narp," slurred Cheerilee.
"Sorry yer highness," Applejack gave an apologetic one-hoof shrug.
Big Mac shook his head in a negative.
"Uhh... can somepony help me out of this thing?" Rainbow Dash interjected, struggling with the ninja outfit.
"Only if'n you can explain how you ended up jumpin' around in pajamas like a durn fool!"
"I don't know! I just woke up here! Last thing I remember I was having tea at Fluttershy's house!" A pause. "Waaaaaaait... oh yeah! The milk and honey!"
"The whut now?"
"We thought we were putting milk and honey into our tea, but it was actually my and Pinkie's potions!"
"That must've been what turned y'all crazy! Maybe when ya combined the two potions they did all kindsa weird magic stuff insteada what they were supposed to!"
"Weird! I didn't even put any milk or honey in my tea! Just lots of sugar!" said Pinkie Pie.
. . .
Discord flew through the air, laughing. It wasn't often something surprised him! He kept the bear-shark at arm's length... by holding out his arm (I mean, wasn't that what the phrase meant? Obviously. Of course, bear arms being what they were, his own arm had doubled in length.).
"I wonder where we'll land?"
The bear-shark snarled in reply. Terrible at conversation, really.
Turns out they didn't land.
SPLAT!
Discord smacked face-first into something enormous and purple. That was two surprises tonight!
Peeling his face off the side of the thing like a sticker, he looked up to see that he had collided with an enormous dragon.
"Well. Hello, Spike," he smiled, turning into an accordion and riding down the side of the purple dragon to the ground, where a crumpled heap of bear-shark lay groaning.
With a snap of his fingers, Discord turned the bear-shark back into a bear-sans-shark. And, grinning madly up at Spike, with another snap of his fingers... did... nothing?
He snapped again. The dragon remained unaffected. Again! Nothing! He snapped his fingers as hard as he could! A field of ice cream cones grew around his feet, but otherwise nothing!
Well, that was three surprises!
Leaning down, bringing his massive jaws close to the tiny Discord below him, Spike let out a ROAR right in Discord's face.
":-/" said Discord.