Bon-Bon didn't trust Prince Blueblood one bit. It was unfair that he was so widely admired.
There was absolutely nothing likeable or interesting about him except for the fact that he was a prince.
Just thinking about it made Bon-Bon angry. She packed one small bag for the trip to Canterlot where the date would take place.
That man bitch better not do anything to Lyra or Bon-Bon would give him the worst beating of his life.
Despite Blueblood's tall stature, Bon-Bon doubted he was powerful physically.
"Bonbonbonbonbonbonbonbonbon, we must leave now", said Lyra with enthusiasm.
"I'm ready. You should doublecheck first to see if you are looking your sexiest for the horny bastard.."
Hmmmm, if Lyra was a no-show, perhaps Lyra would lose by default.
"Oh, Bon-Bon! Don't you always think I'm sexy, you horny bastard."
"What about the royal pain in the ass?"
"Bon-Bon! I didn't know you had royal blood. Why did you never tell me?"
"I didn't want you to know that I am Celestia's daughter since I thought you would reject me. It also explains why I am such a pain in the ass."
"Tee hee, you're too funny. Yes, I want to look my absolute sexiest! Too bad I didn't have time to go see Rarity. She would know what to do."
"Who's that?"
"You don't know who Rarity is?
"Is she that whiny unicorn who got angry when I said I didn't know who she was?"
"Yea."
"Never heard of her."
The two shared a laugh. Bon-Bon enjoyed making fun of Rarity's sense of vanity. Prince Blueblood was far worse than Rarity though. Bon-Bon had never met him in pony and she knew there wasn't a single pony with a greater sense of entitlement than Blueblood.
"Come on! Let's go!!!!", cheered Lyra, "we can't be late, Bonnie!"
"What happens when you're late?"
"I think it's automatic disqualification for tardiness."
"You think? But do you know?"
"Can't take risks here, Bon-Bon, I just can't! Come on!"
"Are you sure I can't tempt you with some chocolate hands?"
"Oh my gosh! Where are they?"
"I haven't baked them yet. I need to do so first."
"Maybe tomorrow, Bonnie. Perhaps, Blueblood can join us."
Ugh. There was no use trying anymore. If chocolate hands couldn't tempt Lyra to stay put, nothing would.
Bon-Bon and Lyra sat on the train to Canterlot. There was a load of awkward silence between the two. Lyra was way too excited about Blueblood and seemed to got the hint that Bon-Bon didn't share even close to the same level of enthusiasm. Lyra was all smiles though. Bon-Bon was distraught. She must have looked like a hateful pony to those around her.
Bon-Bon simply stared out the window. It looked like they were out of Ponyville at this point. This was going to be an awful night, except if Bon-Bon was able to use the pepper spray she packed right onto Blueblood's ugly and girly face.
"Lyra! Bon-Bon! What brings you two here?" Sounded like Rari.. er... the strange unicorn Bon-Bon didn't know.
"Hey Rarity", chirped Lyra, "today is such an exciting day for me!"
"Ooh, what's so exciting?"
"Have you been watching the competition?"
"What competition?"
"The one where Prince Blueblood picks a wife! I am in the final three, can't you believe it?"
Rarity made a quick scowl upon hearing the word "Blueblood" but just as quickly regained her composure. Despite Rarity's haughty attitude, her roots were just as humble and middle-class as Bon-Bon's roots. It was probably a big reason why Blueblood looked over Rarity.
"Bon-Bon, I think it is so nice of you to be there for Lyra at the time like this."
"What are friends for?"
"Lyra, I wish you the best of luck with Blueblood. I know him. He is.. er... well, perhaps he is more your taste than mine."
"Is he interested in humans?"
"Lyra, you should spend the whole date talking about humans to him ", said Bon-Bon.
"Tee hee", giggled Rarity, "I am surprised you two aren't dating. You are inseparable!"
"Oh. I heard from Derpy that Blueblood would like me and Bon-Bon making out with each other."
"Of course he would. He's a disgust... I mean, Blueblood is an open-minded prince and has nothing against homosexual relationships or open marriages for that matter."
This conversation was getting far too awkward for Bon-Bon's taste. She decided to stare at the window while Lyra and Rarity kept on talking. It was a beautiful summer day. Bon-Bon wished she could just have a picnic with Lyra in the park instead of going through all of this. The birds would be singing. The sun would be shining. The food would be absolutely delicious. Every moment spent with Lyra was a blessing.
Lyra and Bon-Bon arrived at Canterlot. The date was at Prince Blueblood's castle. Why build a whole castle for that rotten twit? However, Bon-Bon knew that Lyra could soon be living there. This made Bon-Bon feel sad. Would Lyra leave Ponyville forever if she won? Bon-Bon would have a tough decision to make. However, that was for the future and not now.
The two mares settled in and saw Lyra's competition: Twinkleshine, a cream-colored unicorn with a pink mane, and Minuette, a blue unicorn with a periwinkle mane. The two of them looked at Lyra and snickered amongst themselves.
"Just ignore them", Bon-Bon whispered to Lyra.
"I'm still nervous."
"You're way cooler than either of those two wannabes. Just remember that."
"Hi, Lyraaaaaaaaaaaa", called out Minuette.
"Who's your friend", asked Twinkleshine.
"I'm Bon-Bon. I am just here to provide my support for Lyra."
"Good. She'll need it when I win", said Minuette. She laughed obnoxiously, which was not surprising to Bon-Bon.
"I will do my best, but good luck to you two", said Lyra.
"Thanks. Oh hey, I see what you are doing here. You brought Bon-Bon here as a surrogate date since you know you can't impress Blueblood yourself. Did your daddy have to pay her to join you?"
Bon-Bon was glad she wouldn't actually have to do that. It would have been her worst nightmare.
Bon-Bon was ready to give Minuette a punch to the face, but perhaps the pepper spray would be sufficient.
"Keep talking like that", said Twinkleshine with a smile.
"What? I bet Blueblood loves bitches", responded Minuette.
Bon-Bon really hated Minuette right now.
"Yea, you would probably be a great match for Blueblood in fact", said Bon-Bon, "and no, Lyra and I are the best of friends. I would pay a lot of money to spend time with Lyra in fact."
Lyra blushed.
Minuette glared at Bon-Bon. Good, she didn't want that bimbo as her friend anyway.
Suddenly, the trumpets played.
They heard a female voice on the speakers, "Tonight, Prince Blueblood shall make his decision on which pony will be his wife. There are three young and beautiful mares remaining. Minuette Moneytime, Twinkleshine Star, and Lyra Heartstrings. The Prince shall go out on a date with each mare. The one who Blueblood likes the best shall win. I, as Blueblood's mother, am tearing up myself. My little boy is going to become a husband and soon a father. Oh my..."
Yea, this shit was televised live, maybe Bon-Bon could show the world who Blueblood really was.
"Here he is, Prince Blueblood!!"
The door opened and Prince Blueblood entered.
He walked in with a haughty air but admittedly looked handsome.
If he wasn't such an ass, Bon-Bon might have even found him attractive.
Well, at least he had three roses.
"Good evening, ladies! You should all be honored to have made it this far in the competition. I know you must all be excited. Unfortunately, until polygamy is legal in Equestria, I will only be able to pick one of you as my wife."
Blueblood ate the roses.
"I am so happy right now, I can't believe how happy I am. Blueblood, you're the greatest!!!!!!!!", cheered Minuette.
"I am honored that you think so highly of the great Blueblood, Lyra", said Blueblood.
"Umm", said Minuette clearing her throat, "pardon me, but my name is Minuette."
"Oops. I am terribly sorry. Names aren't my strong suit."
The only name that piece of shit probably knew was his own.
Blueblood looked at the three mares again with a cold and egotistical air.
Suddenly, he turned his head towards Bon-Bon. Blueblood smiled.
"I don't think I have seen you before", said Blueblood.
"You wouldn't have. I never entered your dating competition. I am a friend of Lyra, offering her support."
"Well, friend of Lyra. I must say you look absolutely dashing tonight."
"Umm thanks, so do you."
Blueblood smiled at Bon-Bon again. Jeez, he was hitting on her.
However, Bon-Bon had to admit that she did enjoy seeing the scowl on Minuette's face.
"I shall go on a date with each of the three finalists now. First up, ummm... I am bad with names, but the turquoise unicorn with the lyre cutie mark."
"That's me! Lyra Heartstrings! Let me say that it's an absolute honor to go on a date with you and..."
"I know. That's why you are her. Let's go, Lyra."
Blueblood and Lyra went off.
"Wow", said Minuette, "did you all see how handsome Blueblood is?"
"Yea, I know", said Twinkleshine with a blush.
"I am just surprised that the prince didn't take Bon-Bon as a surrogate date for Lyra. Did you see how he treated you?"
"I guess Blueblood either finds me pretty or he was trying to creep me out."
"Creep you out? Oh! I hope that Blueblood calls me dashing on our date."
"He really isn't my type."
"Let me guess. Lyra is your type!"
Bon-Bon wasn't going to respond to that.
"Don't worry, Bon-Bon", continued Minuette, "there is no way in hell that he is going to pick Lyra. Does she still have that horrific obsession with humans? I bet she does. Lyra is sooooooo weird. Blueblood won't stand for it, I know. You know. She only made it this far since his mother wants him to marry somepony from an elite and well-known family. I don't know where you are from, Bon-Bon, but the Heartstrings are perhaps the most well-known non royal family in Canterlot and..."
"If that's why Lyra made it that far, what's going to stop him from picking her? Seems like a perfect marriage to me", said Bon-Bon.
"I'm not exactly poor either and neither is Twinkleshine", said Minuette, "I think we are rich enough. What about you, Bon-Bon?"
Bon-Bon wanted to use the pepper spray on this little bitch right now. She had to play civil though, but would have a little fun.
"I am the richest pony in all of Equestria. You caught me. I am being paid five million bits just to be here. Back in Ponyville, they call me Bon Money Bon."
"Ooh, what kind of yacht do you own?"
"I used to have one, but it got stuck up your asshole a few years ago."
Twinkleshine giggled. Minuette wasn't amused.
"I like you, Bon-Bon", said Twinkleshine.
"I think you're pretty cool yourself", responded Bon-Bon.
Minuette wasn't in the mood to talk. She went to the corner of the room to pout.
"I think it's noble of you to accompany your friend, Lyra", said Twinkleshine.
"Thanks. Lyra is my best friend. I want to be there to support her regardless of what Blueblood decides."
"How did you two meet? If you don't mind me asking."
"We met at Canterlot University. After college, Lyra moved with me back to Ponyville, my home town."
"Canterlot University? That's a really great school! You must be smart."
"Some ponies say I am, but to me, I'm just simple Bon-Bon."
Lyra and Bon-Bon returned from their date. Lyra looked happy. Blueblood look relieved.
"Thank you, Ms. Heartstrings. Next pony is er... I don't know, the blue one, what are you doing standing in a corner by yourself?"
"I grew tired of talking to Lyra's whore."
"Funny that you say that. I suppose it's the irony of life. Bon-Bon seems like the kind of pony I would never grow tired talking to!"
Ugh, he was hitting on her again.
"In fact", said Blueblood, "one more bad word about Ms. Bon-Bon and I shall disqualify you immediately."
Okay, that was kind of cool on Blueblood's part, but still... he was full of himself.
Minuette smiled insincerely at Bon-Bon.
"We're cool, right?"
"I guess. I don't really care what you say to me." Bon-Bon took out the pepper spray in her saddlebag and pointed it at Minuette.
Blueblood laughed loudly.
"I'm not going to use this thing, but let's say... don't try to hurt me or Lyra.. you know what, do what you want with me but one more word out of your mouth about Lyra and this spray is going right into your face, Minuette."
Blueblood couldn't stop laughing.
"Ugh... you are such a bitch and so low-class. Did you learn that trick in hick school", groaned Minuette.
"You must be pretty dumb if you can't figure out how to use a pepper spray bottle without going to a school."
Blueblood kept on laughing and said, "Oh, my gosh. I must say. You crack me up, Bon-Bon."
"You know what", said Minuette, "I quit! It's obvious you like some curvy low-class earth pony more than a high-class and well-established unicorn such as myself! I am gone."
"Okay, Twinkleshine. I have plenty of ponies to choose from without you anyway."
Minuette growled and rushed out of the castle.
"You. Pony with the stars on her flank, you're next."
Blueblood and Twinkleshine went out.
"So, Lyra. How was your date with Blueblood?"
"He is so handsome. I loved the way he rolled his eyes when I talked about humans. He did what you would do. He did offer a surprise I wasn't expecting."
"What kind of surprise?"
"Blueblood said enthusiastically, "How about a back massage?", at first, I assumed that he was going to massage my back, so I moved towards him but he shook his head and pointed to his own back. I gave Prince Blueblood a back massage."
"You are quite good at them", said Bon-Bon with a smile.
"Yea, but I was still shocked. I was um... I guess... I expected him to be more er..."
"Chivalrous?"
"Yea, that's it! He didn't compliment me once. He didn't do anything special for me."
"Lyra, that sounds awful. He invited you to go on a date with him. He should have been more of a gentlecolt. Did he have trouble remembering your name?"
"He didn't address me by my name. He called me Turquoise."
Bon-Bon giggled.
"I told you Blueblood is an ass."
"I know... I know... but still, imagine being married to a handsome prince like him! Who knows? I might be able to change Blueblood's ways! He remembered that my favorite topic of discussion is humans!"
Hah, good luck with trying to change him...
Twinkleshine and Blueblood returned.
"Thank you, every pony. I shall make my decision tomorrow morning on the television. It was a pleasure to see all three of you. Good night, Turquoise, Twily Spark, and Bon-Bon."
Blueblood didn't have much trouble remembering Bon-Bon's name...
Blueblood kissed Bon-Bon on the cheek and whispered in Bon-Bon's ear, "Thank you for coming."
"Good night and good cheers to you all", said Blueblood.
Bon-Bon and Lyra took the train back to Ponyville. Bon-Bon was sleepy. Despite being a very light sleeper, she was able to fall asleep on the train right away.
The next day...
The TV was on. Bon-Bon couldn't believe it. Was she going to lose Lyra soon to Prince Blueblood? Bon-Bon hoped that Blueblood found Twinkleshine more to his liking.
"My fellow ponies! I have come here on your television screens to announce that I have chosen a wife. I went on dates with the three final contenders. They all come from families which my mother approves of greatly. However, I must apologize to the Heartstrings, the Stars, and the Moneytimes in advance. Their daughters were all lovely, beautiful, and from generations of proper breeding. However, none of them have properly captured my heart. I had met another pony last night. This pony's beauty, intellect, and good nature have captured my heart completely. I certainly know that she and I will have perfect children together. She is also incredibly modest. I know this since she didn't enter herself into my competition when thousands of single mares threw themselves at me. I would have never expected a Ponyville-raised mare with humble roots and no connections to have enchanted me, but she has. Congratulations, Sweetie Bon-Bon Drops, you shall be my wife!"
Wait... what!?!? Bon-Bon couldn't believe what just happened. She could say no though, right?