//------------------------------// // Team Fortress 2 // Story: My Little Pony: Amor Esta Magica // by WarThunderBrony //------------------------------// Derpy took my Tribalman’s Shiv and raised it. “Prepare thyself,” she cried, “for one of us must die — and I certainly don’t intend to!” Wladimir Dbrnouk raised his kukri. Within seconds, he and Derpy were interlocked in combat. Poor Derpy. It was already tough enough to fight somepony like Wladimir, and how much more so on a narrow plank of wood dangling over a bottomless ravine right smack in the middle of nowhere! Good thing she was a pegasus and had wings; she could certainly fly, while using her left forehoof to hold the kukri and tackle Wladimir with it. In the end, Derpy won — she trapped Wladimir against a rock, holding the Tribalman’s Shiv with the blade at his neck. “Checkmate,” she declared. “Now keep your word and pass us the other pill, please. I promise you I will not kill you.” Trembling, Wladimir reached into his pocket and grabbed the pill and handed it over to Derpy. “There ya go,” he said. “Take this pill, take your friends, and get out of here. Get out of Syldavia. And please. Do not let me see your faces ever again.” “Thanks,” said Derpy, releasing her sword. I stood by with my guns just in case Wladimir did anything foolish. Derpy took the pill into her mailbag and trotted back to us. Wladimir went the other way. I hugged Derpy. “Are you ok, amor?” I asked her. “Yeah,” said Derpy. “I’m good. Quick, pop this pill into your mouth.” I gobbled the antidote pill like I would a panadol. Don’t know if it was something psychological or what, but I suddenly felt a surge of life in me. “Huascar León, I’m coming back for you!” I shouted. “What? You want to kill Huascar? Won’t the bigger guns among the Peronistas come and find you out??” wondered Thunderlane. “You’re wrong there, pal,” said Flash Sentry; “Huascar and Alberto are friends now. Alberto is going to see Huascar to find out what to do next.” “And since when did they become friends?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Weren’t they, like….” “Calm down, you two, Flash and I already know what’s been going on,” said Derpy. “Don Francisco apparently killed two of Huascar’s kid sisters, and Huascar transferred allegiance over to Alberto in order to avenge them. From what I know also about Huascar’s background, he’s been through pretty much similar experiences in childhood to that of Alberto, so they’ll more likely than not turn out to be very good friends. Just wait and see.” “You know what guys? Derpy and Flash Sentry are both right,” I said. “I will need to see what Huascar wants me to do when I get back. Huascar is now my boss. And I will willingly give this my all; we’re both in this together. Come, let’s go and get the two unicorns and the two big Apple stallions, and go home!” * * * BIG MCINTOSH: No sooner had we witnessed the unsalvageable Natalia Cuartas plummet to her death, than have something else crop up again all of a sudden. Just as Braeburn and the two Samba Unicorns and I were planning to go back to get Alberto and the pegasi, we witnessed another interesting suicide. No, screw that — two suicides in a row. “Look!” screamed Snips, indicating towards a high plateau. “Over there!” Before I even looked, I knew exactly what I was going to see. So did the others. We could tell by the high hysterical note in the young Brazilian unicorn’s voice. “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!” we heard Edna Jorgen’s neither-laughing-nor-crying maniacal laughter And there they stood, the Dbrnouk couple, on the summit of that very plateau, about to come at each other. “Ah! Edna Jorgen!” Wladimir Dbrnouk was shouting. “Do you for one minute think that I will let you off so easily this time around? You know what you did to me years ago! Take THAT!” He raised his own kukri and ran at Edna Jorgen, hoping to strike a checkmating blow. “PTUI!” Edna spat out another date, successfully knocking the kukri from Wladimir’s hands. But this was the last time she would ever do so — for the very place that both she and Wladimir had been standing on, was on unstable ground that hovered directly above a concealed bottomless pit!!! Wladimir stumbled upon impact from the date on his kukri. The ground beneath him gave way. “Ah!” he cried as he fell into the pit. “Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!” laughed Edna Jorgen. But suddenly the ground beneath Edna Jorgen also gave way and she, together with Wladimir, found herself plummetting into that bottomless pit. “Help! Help!” she yelled. “HEEEEEEEEELP!!” It was too late to save either Edna or Wladimir. By the time Braeburn and Snips and Snails had arrived there, both of them had already plunged goodness knows how far down to their deaths. Just then. Alberto and his four pegasi came up to join us. “Retribution,” said Alberto. “Such wicked parents,” said Derpy; “yet they had such a kind-hearted daughter. She was willing to even lay her life down for your sake, Alberto.” “I think,” I burst in, “this is what we should do. We should give them all a proper funeral, and then set off back for La Paz.” “That true too, Huascar is waiting me,” said Alberto. So we gave the right funeral arrangements for the Dbrnouk family, and then set off back for Bolivia. “What did Huascar ask you to do, Alberto?” I asked our bipedal friend. “Er…. that I’m not sure myself,” replied Alberto; “but what I do know is that he told me that he wants to help me fight Don Francisco. It seems that Don Francisco killed two of Huascar’s three kid sisters, and because of that, Huascar has transferred his allegiance to us now. He told me however, that my ways of fighting Don Francisco was ‘too foolhardy’, and ordered me to go and apologise to Don Francisco — which I have already done — and then after that, come back and see him. Just that we came here only to find the antidote pill, as my Nightmare Poison was acting up again. Now that I’m better after having swallowed the pill. I feel I’m ready to go and ask Huascar what to do next.” “All the same, do be careful of whom you’re gonna meet, Alberto,” I advised the young biped. “You know Huascar was mean to you and to Donita before. How do you know he can be trusted this time? How do you know that this is not some diversionary tactic of his to get you off the case?” “Big Mac! That’s enough!” Derpy turned and scolded me. “Flash Sentry and I have witnessed everything first hand. We believe Alberto can handle this on his own. We have faith in him. And so should you. Let him go!” “Er… o…. k,” I said stepping back, secretly concerned for poor Alberto….. * * * ALBERTO: I went to see Huascar at his estate, Los Altiplanos del Gran Chaco, in the township of the same name. He was waiting there for me at the pavilions in the estate plaza. “I have come as you asked,” I said. “Sorry for the delay. I had to get some medication as I was not well.” “Hmmm,” said Huascar. “Have you already said sorry to Don Francisco like I told you to?” “Si,” I replied. “Very good,” said Huascar. “Now here’s the thing. I have devised a plan that will surely bring Don Francisco to his knees. And with you around and involved in this plan, it will surely make things ll the more tragic an ending for him. You and I, guaranteed, will see him begging for mercy once we’ve carried this plan out.” “Indeed,” I said, still thinking of what Big Mac had said to me. “Could you just tell me what plan this is and then we can get it over and done with?” “It isn’t that quick, amigo,” said Huascar. “Listen to me first, let me explain. Do you happen to know how to play Team Fortress 2?” “Er… no,” I answered, “but why? And what’s that to do with Don Francisco anyway?” “Just so you know,” explained Huascar, looking at me with concerned eyes, “Don Francisco is the undefeated TF2 champion of all Latin America, and has been so for the past 27 years. No-one in their right mind would even think of playing against him. And he has imparted his skills to all his subordinates, who always advise him during important matches. But if you and I, just the two of us alone, were to team up together and defeat Don Francisco and all his subordinates, just think of how sweet our victory would be — two of us alone against so many thousands of Peronistas!” “So what do I do then?” I asked. “Good question,” said Huascar. “Come with me.” “I’m hungry,” I said, noticing a food stall not far off. “Let me grab some food first.” “Sure,” said Huascar; “I have the whole day today anyways.” I ran off to buy some food from the food stall. Apparently it was selling glazed honey chicken steaks. The operator was this thin man in a blue singlet who looked kind of familiar, however I could not seem to remember where I saw him before. “One piece of chicken steak,” I said. “Si,” said the stall operator. He took a piece of steak and grilled it and then passed it to me in a bag. “That’ll be 4 quetzals, por favor,” he said. I took out 4 quetzals and paid up. “Gracias,” I replied, and then walked back to where Huascar was waiting me. Suddenly, Derpy flew down right before me. “Alberto, why did you buy that piece of chicken steak?” she asked. “It’s not fresh.” “The guy grilled it before my very eyes, I am a first hand witness,” I protested. “For your information,” said Derpy, “that stall operator was Jaime Lozada. You know who I’m talking about. His cuisine is never fresh.” “Oh!” I cried. Now it all dawned on me — Lozada, an ex-colleague of mine in my All Lee days, had heard about me collaborating with Huascar to defeat Don Francisco, and I had just fallen into the first of his traps by being tempted to buy from that chicken stall, not half knowing who the operator was!! “Quick, give me that rotten steak!” said Derpy. “I’ve got a fresh piece of Appleloosa Fried Chicken here for you! And here’s the four quetzals that Lozada cheated you of!” She gave me a box of AFC Popcorn Chicken, as well as two 2-quetzal bills. I gave her the rotten steak. “Throw it away,” I ordered. “I will,” said Derpy. “And I’ll warn Huascar as well. Better go and rejoin him immediately, and get indoors while you can; it’s not safe to be out here.” “Si,” I said. I ran quickly back to where Huascar was waiting for me. “Quick, let’s go to your house now!” I cried. “Not a minute to lose! We’re in deepest of shit!” “I heard!” said Huascar. “This way, quick!” He took me to the lift landing of his block. We went into the elevator. “I’m on Level 29,” said Huascar. So we got out on the 29th storey and Huascar took me into his home. “Papa and Mama are not home,” he said, “they went out shopping with Eudora. So you can come with me to my room. I’ll show you what to do.” I followed Huascar to his yellow-wallpapered room, where he turned on his PC desktop. “Garcia, you got a laptop with you?” he asked. “Si,” I said. I took out my MacBook Air from my bag and put it down on the floor before me, and I turned it on, being sure to make sure also that I was charging it with its compatible charger. So far so good — I could connect to the internet without any apparent problems. “Now go to the Steam website and download the Steam software,” said Huascar. “There should be a compatible version for Mac OS X.” I did exactly as I was told. The plan had begun. “Now download Team Fortress 2 using your Steam client,” said Huascar. “It’s free of charge, so don’t worry if you don’t have cash.” It worked like a miracle. The plan was working. But I did have some questions. “With this, we can defeat Don Francisco?” I asked. “Like I said, we have to wait till the big competition day, the day of the All Latino TF2 Championship,” said Huascar. “Good news — it’s in only one month from now. And don’t worry, even if it has to wait, it’s good news, because you’re going to be living with me from now on, and I’ll be teaching you how to play TF2 right here. We’ll do this together.” The plan was working very well indeed. While I was still new, I was already beginning to learn about the basics of Team Fortress 2 — the nine classes (Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy/Hoovy, Engineer, Medic, Sniper, Spy), the two teams (Builder’s League Union “BLU” and Reliable Excavation Demolition “RED”), and the various forms of gameplay (King Of The Hill, Control Points, Attack/Defend, Special Delivery, Capture-The-Flag, Payload, Payload Race, Mann versus Machine, Prop Hunt, Death-Match, and many more). This was a fun game! “You can either choose to play online,” said Huascar, “by connecting to servers just by clicking on the button that says ‘servers’ — very straightforward — or you can simply choose to play offline on your own LAN server, all you do for that would be to click on the ‘+’ sign next to the ‘servers’ button, choose a map, and explore the map on your own. Or, if you want to learn rocket jumping as a Soldier or Demoman, do it that way too — play on a LAN server alone, this map called jump_quba is what I recommend for starters.” Rocket jumping proved to be just as much fun as were the “standard” TF2 gamemodes. In all 33 years of my life I had never enjoyed myself so much. Huascar was teaching me some basics as a Scout class, when a knock on the room door came. “It must be Papa,” said Huascar. “Pause game. Gimme a minuto.” He ran to answer the door. It was indeed Don Bernardo León. “Er….. Papa?” said Huascar. “Huascar, may I ask you as to what is that muchacho doing in our humble abode?” demanded Don Bernardo. “Papa, he is homeless,” said Huascar. “His mother has chased him out and his wife is filing for divorce. There is nowhere else he can stay now. Can we let him have either Valeria’s or Odelia’s rooms, por favor?” “One word: No,” said Don Bernardo. “You already know that we are direct descendants of the Inca conqueror Prince Rascar Capac, and we will NOT allow spies from the infidel tribes to stay within our gates and corrupt our purest of pure cultures. Get this infidel out of my house immediately!” “Papa, por l’amor de Dios, can you not be so rude?!” cried Huascar. “Alberto Garcia really has nowhere to stay! You surely do not expect him to sleep on the streets?!!” “When I say no, it is no!” yelled Don Bernardo. “If you don’t get him out, I will personally get him out myself!” He proceeded to grab my MacBook and my baggages and throw me out. “No! Uncle Bernardo! NOOOO!!!!!” I yelled, trying in vain to stop him. I’d thought that this was the end of my life…. until I heard a shout from outside. “Jirunimu Inca Bernardo León!” That was a feminine voice we heard. It was one that Huascar and I knew only too well. Don Bernardo stopped, put down my things nicely on the floor, turned around, shouting “Who are you to call me by my full name?!” — but when he saw who it was, he got on his knees immediately. There she stood. Princess Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn princess who had first flown into my room merely 10 months ago when I was in the Canaries and attached to All Lee. Her horn was glowing red-hot, and she was looking very very cross. Also, for some reason which we didn’t know at first then, she had some pungent body odour on her today, unlike normally. “Sua altezza…..” stammered Don Bernardo, bowing low. Princess Twilight Sparkle was not convinced. “THAT’S ENOUGH!” she roared, in a voice that caused the whole apartment block to tremble. “When I heard what was happening I flew down from Equestria at once! I didn’t even stop to bathe!” OK, I thought, that explains the stench, so she even sacrificed a shower to save my life. “Come with me,” said Princess Twilight Sparkle, addressing Don Bernardo. “I want to speak with you in private.” “S-s-si, s-s-sua alt-t-tezza,” stammered Don Bernardo, clearly shocked beyond words, as he followed Princess Twilight out of Huascar’s room. “So now what?” I asked Huascar. “Let’s go on with the lesson,” Huascar replied, sighing deeply. “OK, so this is how you do a double jump as a Scout. Watch how I do it first, then you give it a try….” * * * PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE: I took Don Bernardo aside for a private word as this was the only chance to save Alberto. “Listen, I have an appointment with a client after this,” said Don Bernardo. “Just say whatever you want now and get it over with!” “Now listen to me,” I said. “Alberto is a poor soul who is to be pitied. He has no real father, his mother has just disowned him, his wife is about to send divorce papers over to him. He has no home now. He has been sleeping on the streets for the past few weeks, going with minimal food and drink. “Tell me this: How would you feel if you were in his situation? Do not bother about the fact that he is of a different tribe. Your tribe and his tribe have long since settled their ancient feud. Are not the rest of your Inca people and Alberto’s Aymara people living in much better harmony than in the days gone by? Do you desire harmony in your home? In your family? In your country? “Let the dead bury their own dead, Don Bernardo. You are a technical engineer, operations manager in Sniper Electronicas, a firm of great respect in the world of business. You are also a nobleman, a viscount to be exact, and a direct descendant of a famous Inca warrior and conqueror. Surely you don’t want such a good and high-ranking reputation to be ruined overnight, just because you denied lodging and food to an innocent, poor, harmless, homeless boy? “I can assure you one thing, Don Bernardo: Alberto will not be with you for very long. He is only looking for temporary lodging until further notice. One more thing: Please allow him to sleep in Huascar’s room. I can assure you there will be nothing between them more than just their friendship. “When the time is ripe, I will come back — either me, or one or more of my fellow equines — and bring Alberto to his new residence. HRH Princess Celestia has given orders for us to prepare Alberto a place in the Castle in Canterlot. “Just promise me one thing, Don Bernardo — promise me that you will not disturb Alberto while he lives in your home. There are important things that need to be settled. I give you my word that you all will not come to any harm, and neither will your reputation. If you need any assistance, just call for me. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. Your two late daughters were big fans of us.” Don Bernardo took a deep breath and finally he spoke. “I will hold you to your word, señorita princesa caballo,” he said. “Just think about what I have said,” I told him. “I have to go now. And you, better not keep your clients waiting. Ciao.” I flew back to Equestria, to Canterlot Castle, where Rainbow Dash and Derpy were waiting me. “Ah! You certainly took your time, Your Highness!” said Derpy. “We’re almost done in getting the room prepared for Alberto!” “Get the cupboard ready,” I ordered. “Make it the kind of cupboard suitable and convenient for a biped. NOT the quadruped ones that we usually use. Also, be sure to get a table for him to do his writing, and get the electricians to make internet WiFi connections here for him. And for the door, make it a maximum security door which will allow only fingerprint-tap access.” “How’s Alberto?” Derpy asked me. “Heard he went to live with Huascar? Hope Huascar’s family won’t mind?” “Don’t worry,” I said, “he’ll be fine.” * * * ALBERTO: Team Fortress 2 proved to be a really fun game. Even on Sundays when Huascar had to go and help out in the Temple of the Sun in downtown Soledad, or on weekdays when he had to go and and keep the computer fix-it shop which he and his father had co-founded, I would still practice on my own, both on my own server with bots as well as occasionally on real-life servers, mostly those based down in the surrounding Latin American countries. Another fun thing about the game was the random item “drops” during each and every game round. I was starting to collect lots of these items — comprising weapons, hats, tools, cosmetics, and many more; mostly meant for specific classes — and things got even better when I began to craft my own weapons, including my very own AWPer Hand, a special craft-only Sniper rifle. The day came when I scored my first ever dominance against a bot during one practice. Huascar came back and heard the dominating brass sound effect. “Very good, Alberto!” he said. “Keep up the good work! I hope you can dominate real players next! Tomorrow is Saturday and I’ll be free, so I’ll teach you how to play as a Spy; we’ll go to a King-Of-The-Hill server and have a spy duel!” “Huascar, next week is the ultimate test,” I said. “I don’t know if I can manage. I know Don Francisco will surely be taking part. I’m just afraid that I….” “Don’t you worry, amigo,” said Huascar, giving me a pet on the back. “Just keep on practicing and you will be fine.” That night I could not sleep; I said a prayer for all my friends, pony and human alike, because I knew well that the day of the competition would surely decide my ultimate fate. Oh, Señor,  mi oración, llevo a Ti, desde mi corazón. joven es, con temor, cuídalo, con Tu amor. ve por él! ve por él! ve por él! es como el hijo que anhelé, el que por años yo soñé. el tiempo pasa y se va, se acaba y no volverá! y mi final muy cerca está. dale paz, dale amor,  joven es, solo un niño Señor.  puedes dar,  y quitar,  llévalo a su hogar. si es morir,  tuyo soy, cuídalo! ve por él! ve por él! ve por él! And as I finished the last words, I saw a familiar sight at the window. It was Fluttershy. "You'll be fine, Alberto," she said. "But you do need lots of rest, because this is a big competition, it's international, if you win, or if you lose, either way you'll be famous overnight. Let me put you to sleep. Let me sail, let me sail, let the Orinoco flow, Let me reach, let me beach On the shores of Tripoli. Let me sail, let me sail, Let me crash upon your shore, Let me reach, let me beach Far beyond the Yellow Sea. From Bissau to Palau, in the shade of Avalon, From Fiji to Tiree and the Isles of Ebony, From Peru to Cebu, hear the power of Babylon, From Bali to Cali, far beneath the Coral Sea. Sail away, sail away, sail away! Sail away, sail away, sail away! From the North to the South, Ebudo into Khartoum, From the deep sea of Clouds To the island of the moon, Carry me on the waves To the lands I've never been, Carry me on the waves To the lands I've never seen. We can sail, we can sail... We can steer, we can near With Rob Dickins at the wheel, We can sigh, say goodbye Ross and his dependencies We can sail, we can sail... Fluttershy's song was very relaxing; within minutes I finally fell asleep. The big day, October 31st 2018, eventually came. Most of the pony friends that had changed my life — including Derpy, Rainbow Dash, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Flash Sentry, Snips, Snails, and many more — came to see me and wish me luck for this big event. I certainly would need lots of luck. An important thing was that cheating was not advised. Hence I would not be playing in Huascar’s house; I would be going to a quiet place to play. I chose a small, seemingly deserted cottage in the countryside between La Paz and Chaco, which had good internet connections despite its altitude and location in the country. To further make sure that I was not going to cheat, two witnesses were present to observe me: Huascar, who had been my teacher; as well as a pony — and the pony was actually Rainbow Dash. The contest officially began at 7:45pm that night, held on a koth_lakeside_event server. It was to be around 8 minutes long. There were at least 31 other players; I was on BLU team, playing as a Sniper and using my beloved self-crafted AWPer Hand. 15 other players were on my team, and 16 on the opposing RED team. Don Francisco was apparently playing on RED, as a Heavy — the one class which had more hit points than the others and the only known rapid-firing gun, albeit a slow mover. “5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Control point enabled. MOVE!” announced the voice of the TF2 administrator, Welshwoman Helen MacLaine. I pressed forward with my Sniper character, making straight for the control point. This was indeed my biggest ever challenge yet. A few steps out and I was burned to death by a RED Pyro. “Caramba!” I cried, thumping the table in exasperation. “Go for it, Garcia! You can do it!” Huascar nudged me gently. “Go on!” whispered Rainbow Dash. “We’re behind you all the way!” I switched classes to that of a Spy. I knew this would help; the Spy duel that Huascar and I had had together last week on the LAN server in his house had been of great help to my gameplay. “Attention! The control point is being contested!” came Señorita McLaine’s voice. I saw a RED engineer building a sentry there. I recognised his username: “Type #42 Tardis [Metaldrake]” — i.e. Enrique de la Torre. “Señor de la Torre, very soon your name will be Señor de la Basso!” I cried, as I moved my Spy character — disguised as a RED engineer — forward to sap de la Torre’s sentry gun. Another BLU player, a Scout whose name I did not recognise, pressed on to help us grab the control point… * * * DERPY: Over in Canterlot Castle Reference Library, on orders from HRH Princess Luna, I was to seek out and find the most friendly TF2 players in the land to help Alberto’s BLU team out, young and old alike. I already had in mind who would be most suitable. Timmy Garcia, 28yo, Alberto’s cousin, was certainly one such person. There were also such other friendly and willing entities as Gabriele Garcia, 25yo, Timmy’s younger (but taller!) brother; Avele Gonzales, also 25yo, Gabriele’s and Timmy’s childhood friend; Lucio Morales, 24yo, the youngest and only gamer among the three maternal cousins of Timmy and Gabriele; Kelvino “Kevin” Morales, 60yo, Lucio’s American-born father; Andrea Sandoval, 22yo, a young and sympathetic Aymara gentleman from La Paz who was back in Bolivia for a holiday; Juanito di Carlo and Agostino di Mario, both 22yo, two Vatican citizens who were also highly skilled players and currently based in Sucre, and also friends of Sandoval; Ghideone di Costa, Edison Le Blanc, and André Sepulveda, all 23yo, all church-friends of Timmy and Gabriele; Marco di Giovanni and Dereco di Gianni, both 25yo, former schoolmates of Gabriele Garcia and Avele Gonzales (Dereco had been Alberto’s vocal student once before, according to the records we had in Canterlot Castle reference library) ; Raul Fernandes, 50yo, the lawyer whom Huascar had sent to help Alberto during the period when Don Francisco had wanted to sue him; and Guglielmo di Cristoforo and Mohammed Bourhenouddine, both 19yo, Timmy’s and Gabriele’s church friends hailing from Estrela del Mar (in Argentina) and Marakesh (in Morocco) respectively. Add those up, plus Alberto — and the BLU team had a total of 16 players. I was also aware about the anti-cheating system as set up by the GALA (Gamers’ Association of Latin America). With that in mind, I made sure I chose most of these people rightly; it should be noted that Alberto had only met four of them personally — Timmy, Raul, Marco, and Dereco. Even then, Dereco and Raul had only strictly professional relationships with Alberto. Marco had been Alberto’s soccer companion years ago when they were younger. Possibly the only one of those chosen who knew Alberto well, was Timmy Garcia. Furthermore, when I chose these people, I made sure I did not tell them what the ulterior motive was — to help Alberto defeat Don Francisco and win the title. After all, Alberto was still relatively new to the game. I looked into the big mirror in the hall of Canterlot, and those fifteen faces came before me. It was then that I knew what I had to do — fly down to Earth and give them invitations allowing them to take part in the gaming competition. And that’s just what I did. The response turned out far better than expected; all of those whom I gave the invitations to, were more than enthusiastic to be part of this. In fact many of them, despite being far stronger players than Alberto, were taking part in this for the very first time in their life. So I was not too surprised when all of those I had selected, turned up for the competition on time, indeed 15 minutes before hand, all on BLU team. It was shocking, though, that this time the RED team — for the first time in history — was made up of entirely Peronistas; other than reigning TF2 champion Don Francisco, other players on RED in this particular championship contest included such names as “Metaldrake” (Enrique de la Torre), “Ayase” (Ali Baba), “SneakerAB” (Bangalee Muthusamy a.k.a. the Wrist-Gasher), and many more. Coincidence? I certainly doubted so. Somehow one or more of them must have found out about Alberto’s intentions and done this! Was it because of Alberto’s ignorant mistake last month when he went to buy that fatal chicken steak from Jaime Lozada’s illegal street-hawker stall? I certainly didn’t know for sure. But it was pretty clear that they were aware that Alberto was taking part. Or were they? In any case, Rainbow Dash was already there with Huascar, observing Alberto. So, being sure to keep in touch with her, I flew off to see what the baddies were doing on their end. Of course, knowing that these were bad people, I knew I had to observe them discreetly. In the Gaming Hall of Perez Manor, Don Francisco Juan Perez and fifteen of his top men had gathered. Other than Perez, I recognised the faces of Benz Guzmán, Sean Brink, Ali Baba, Jose de la Cruz, Bangalee Muthusamy, the della Torre brothers (Eduardo and Enrique), Jovento Bajarán, Justeno Coleda, Natanaele “Gleek” Duarté, Dario Coleda, Bjørn Løwenthal, Rafael Ruíz, Taddeo Spettro, and Jaime Lozada. I knew all of them were extremely dangerous, and was very careful to keep my observation discreet. It was amazing — the bad guys were in surprisingly good form. From where I was, I could clearly see that Don Francisco was having no apparent trouble, being aided in this game by all his immediate subordinates. In the first round, Ali Baba, who was playing as a Pyro, burned Alberto’s Sniper to death just as he was a split second away from capturing the control point. I texted Rainbow Dash immediately, telling her to encourage Alberto. She replied to me saying, “Done. He’s playing better this time around. Continue to observe Don Francisco and company and tell me if you notice anything untoward.” What happened next was very interesting. I saw a “RED engineer” running over to take care of the sentry gun, which was supposedly built by the RED engineer, Enrique della Torre. This other “engineer” came and destroyed the sentry. “Caramba!” I heard Enrique della Torre shouting. “Who was that son of a cane maledetto who did that?!” “After the spy! Quickly!” ordered Don Francisco, as he sat at his computer and pushed his Heavy on and chaingunned an escaping BLU Scout to death, the Scout who had just captured the control point — I later found out that that Scout had been played by Alberto’s other cousin Gabriele Garcia. Don Francisco stood his Heavy on the control point, attempting to recapture it, while Jose de la Cruz played a Medic and attempted to heal Don Francisco’s Heavy. Suddenly, a BLU sniper used an AWPer Hand and gave a critical headshot on Don Francisco’s Heavy, who fell to the ground, as dead as could be. This is amazing, I thought, this contest both teams are equally matched, and both seem to be playing with equal strength. That death, however, shocked Don Francisco greatly. “I don’t believe this!” he was shouting. “I don’t know who the fuck these opponents of ours are — they’re playing like they don’t seem to fear us at all! I think they must be wizards of some breed that get their powers from the Devil!” “Just fucking switch your class!” shouted Jose de la Cruz. “Switch to a strong attacking class, like a Soldier or a Pyro!” Don Francisco switched to a RED Soldier class and began rocket jumping and shooting Cow Mangler 5000 projectiles all over the place. I continued to observe their every move, hoping that Alberto would — with the help of his team-mates that I had chosen for him — finally win this round….. * * * ALBERTO: This was a very hard fight. After Don Francisco switched to a RED Soldier and began firing his projectiles from his Cow Mangler, the control point got captured by Benz Guzmán’s RED Scout and Jose de la Cruz’s RED Demoman. I quickly knew what to do. I switched my class to a BLU Pyro and began running straight for the control point, squirting out fire from my flamethrower as I went. Helping me were a few other BLU players, including a Medic and two Heavies. The two Heavy players began firing their chainguns on the surprised RED team. One of them stood with me on the control point. I was sniped to death by some silent bullet — it turned out to be from a Sydney Sleeper rifle belonging to Jovento Bajarán’s RED Sniper. While that took me by surprise, at least it gave me the opportunity to switch classes. At that very moment, the control point was again contested — the Heavy player who had been standing on the control point was also sniped to death, and a RED Scout — played by Eduardo della Torre — ran forth to capture the control point. There was only 2 minutes left on the clock. I switched to a BLU engineer, ran out immediately and built a sentry outside the control point, being sure to make it a full sentry gun with two chainguns and a missile launcher. The control point was in RED hands now, but with the sentry gun built, I just strafed round the control point, hoping not to get shot. “Mission ends in 60 seconds!” announced Señorita McLaine’s voice. Suddenly while I was halfway capturing the control point, I got an error message saying “Capture blocked by enemy” — and it was true, for Eduardo della Torre’s RED Scout suddenly appeared out of seemingly nowhere and tackled me well with his scattergun. A few shots of Pomson 6000 on him from me. Though della Torre succeeded in destroying me (with the help of another team-mate, a RED soldier — possibly Don Francisco), the Pomson shots I’d fired on him were enough to kill him too, about a second after he’d killed me. Once again, the control point was being contested. And there was only less than a minute left. And RED was winning. I quickly switched my class to a BLU Scout, knowing that this class captures control points twice as fast as all the others. “We have lost the control point!” came Señorita McLaine’s voice; apparently Eduardo della Torre had successfully captured the control point. The timings for both BLU and RED to the end were about equally matched. “MEDIC!” I pressed the E key on my keyboard as I ran forth to the control point after respawn. “Mission ends in 30 seconds!” came Señorita McLaine’s voice again. RED was still winning; the clock was still ticking away on RED’s side as I had not yet successfully captured the control point. I still pressed on nonetheless; I knew that it was wrong to ragequit when my team still had a chance of winning.. “Mission ends in 10 seconds!” Bueno! I knew this was it, now or never. I continued strafing on the control point, making sure to not get shot….. “5! 4! 3! 2! 1!…..”