The following hour was spent with Bastiaan showing each of his guests to their rooms and a tour of the cottage. Each room contained a bathroom, bed, and desk, as all of them could be used for “enjoyment” as stated by Bastiaan. The rooms also had TV and two windows, but he didn’t care about mentioning them. After the tour, Sticky and Rivs decided to stay at the cottage to continue watching basketball games and Tyrone stayed behind with Junior to keep an eye on him, while Bastiaan and the others went to explore the city.
“Well my new friends, are you ready to finally see this city of absolute enjoyment?” said Bastiaan, as he started his private transport bus.
Spike and Wahlburn gave a extremely jubilant hurrah, while the others just sat there. The bus pulled out of the driveway and drove towards the city in the distance.
“What the hell guys? Act happy!” said Spike.
“Shut the hell up,” said Cannon. “You’re over-hyping this whole thing. How do you know they will even sell to you?”
“That’s why I got him!” said Spike, pointing up towards Wahlburn.
“Whatever. I’m still tired and possibly hungover.” Cannon rested his head on the window and closed his eyes. After a minute, he began to snore.
Wahlburn began to laugh at him then looked over to Clyde. “Hey brother, you finally going to stop being a bitch and finally smoke with me?”
Clyde shook his head. “Nah man, that ain’t me.”
“Come on,” said Wahlburn, dragging out the word. “Why not? Are you afraid you’ll get addicted and then have to go to rehab, but turns out it didn’t work and you’ll be alone in your life with nothing except your addiction?”
Clyde blinked. “I just simply don’t want to.”
Wahlburn sighed. “Then how about that sweet Red-Light District with the boys?”
“Why the hell would I do that!”
“It’s cool brother, we won’t tell your girl. We’re all cool here. You know that phrase, “what happens in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam.”
“That’s Pegas, you fuck boy,” said Patel.
“Same damn thing.” Wahlburn turned towards Bastiaan, “are we almost there? I’m dying to begin my sweet Amsterdam weed journey.”
“Not yet,” said Bastiaan, “it’s about another few minutes to the heart of the city, where I’ll park this and you guys can walk around all day.”
“Sweet.” Wahlburn turned back around to the group. “Alright so if Clyde is going to be the pussy of the group, that means Poncho, you have to at least do something this douche won’t do.”
Poncho began rubbing his neck, “W-What are you talking about?”
“He’s talking about either smoking with us or fucking some bitch,” said Patel.
“Eh...,” pondered Poncho. “I’m not sure. That’s extremely unsanitary.”
“What, smoking?”
“No! The Red-Light District!”
“It can’t be that bad,” said Fluffy. “I mean, if you think about it. You never really hear about others dying from Amsterdam’s legal prostitution.”
“Exactly,” said Wahlburn. “Stop being a bitch Poncho.”
Before Poncho could stall anymore time, Bastiaan’s voice boomed through the bus. “Alright friends, we are here.” He parked the bus in the back of a shady looking alleyway. They all got off the bus looked around.
From where they were standing, they saw a canal under them with dozens of small rowboats going to and fro. Alongside the canals, there were many shops and citizens walking in and out of them.
“Wow, this place is just like Venice!” said Jeb.
“Indeed it is.” Bastiaan walked up to edge of the street and stood there. “Alright, I’m going to be at that coffee shop all day, meet back here at midnight and we’ll go back to my cottage. Here are some maps so you don’t get lost. We’re in the De Wallen area.” Bastiaan handed out the maps and took off to the coffee shop across the canal.
As the group was looking over the map, a figure ran into Wahlburn.
“Ah, what the hell?” asked Wahlburn looking around. Next to him was a pony clad in a leather jacket with tan breeches and black boots. He also had a hook attached to his front left hoof.
“Sorry lad, I wasn’t payin attention.” The pony helped him up. As the mysterious pony stood back up on all fours, the group noticed he was wearing an eye-patch and hat with a skull on it.
“Why are you wearing a pirate costume?” asked Spike, who soon began laughing.
The pony looked down at him in anger. “Costume? I’ll have ye know that I be an official corsair of the northern seas, lad.”
“Corsair? What’s that?” asked Poncho.
“It means pirate,” said Clyde.
“How do you know that?”
“Rarity and I watched a good amount of movies in the past year or so.” Clyde turned back towards the pirate. “Do you have a ship or something?”
“No, I’m afraid I don’t lad. I’m here waitin for me cap’n to come back to harbor.” He pulled out some sort of card and handed it Clyde. “This is me official, “Northern Seas Corsair” card.” Clyde lowered the card so Spike and the others could also read it.
“Your name is “Yarlin” it says,” stated Cannon. Cannon looked at the name again and thought something was odd about that name. “Why is your name weird to me?”
“It’s probably because it’s “Yarlin” and not “Yarrlin”, you know, because I’m a pirate.”
“No, that’s not it...” Cannon sat down and stroked his chin in deep thought. After a few strokes, he jumped up. “Yarlin! You must know Xarlin and Pharlin!”
Gasps were heard from the group while Yarlin stood there thinking. “They sound familiar to me, but I can’t place my hook on it.”
“Well, Pharlin told us that Xarlin was his brother, and if that’s the case, you must be related. Besides, you sort of look like them from what I remember.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if I had relatives in the western side of the world,” said Yarlin. “We disbanded many years ago.”
“We?” asked Patel. “What do you mean by we?”
“It’s nothin lad. Just some past memories you wouldn’t care about.” Yarlin lifted up his eye-patch to rub his eyes, then placed it back. “If you knew Pharlin and Xarlin, would you mind tellin this old seaman their swan song?”
Spike and Wahlburn began to giggle while Cannon ignored them. “Well, I killed Xarlin about sixteen months ago and Pharlin was shot about 500 times about fifteen months ago.”
Yarlin took off his hat and placed it over his chest. “That is tragic tale lad.” After a moment of silence he returned his hat on his head. He looked out across the city and its canal and turned towards the north. “Well lads, I’ll be departin now. I’m to meet my good friend near the shite harbor.”
Wahlburn and Spike waved goodbye and quickly ran off, while Cannon stopped Yarlin. “Wait, can we go too? I always wanted to know about the pirate’s life.”
Yarlin beamed with joy. “Well, shiver me timbers! Of course, ye lads can come with me! I’m sure you’ll like my one mate.” Yarlin turned the corner and trotted down the street.
Cannon did a little “victory punch” and began to tail him. The rest of the group, minus Spike and Wahlburn of course, quickly pursued.
“So, Yarlin?” asked Cannon after he and the others caught up to him. “What exactly is your role in your fleet?”
Yarlin smiled at him. “I’m in charge of the booty!”
“Oh, so you make sure all the cargo and treasure you plunder is all sorted out and stuff. That’s pretty neat.”
Yarlin stopped in his tracks. “Ye aren’t wrong as I do that occasionally, but I meant booty.” Cannon and the others looked at him strangely.
“So...you’re a...uh, butt pirate?” asked Patel cautiously. The others all took a step back.
“Aye lad, that I am. I haven’t no shame in it either. The pirate’s life is mostly spent on the seas with other males, as females aren’t cut for the pirate life of theft and murder. We all have desires even when stranded in the middle of the great ocean.”
“Well, that’s just not weird or anything,” said Patel.
“If it makes you feel better lad, I think you have a nice booty.”
Patel jumped backed as far as he could from him. “What the fuck dude! You can’t be saying this shit.”
“Sorry matey, it’s just a habit of mine. Enough shite, let’s go talk to Clark.” Yarlin took off again while the others followed him, except this time, they kept a farther distance. After another few streets, alleys, and canal bridges, Yarlin stopped in the middle of the street. “Aye, there he is.”
Yarlin pointed over to a small crowd of colts and fillies. Behind them was a stand with the word “Marionetten” on the top of it. As they drew closer, they could see that there was a puppet show going on. Most of the young ones were laughing at the gestures of the puppets and the dialogue. Two minutes after the group first saw the stand, the curtain fell down and the young ponies fled the scene.
Yarlin walked up to the stand. “Ahoy, Clark! It’s ye good mate, Yarlin.” The stand began to shake and soon, a pony rolled out of the side of it.
“Oh hey, Yarlin,” said Clark happily. “I’m so glad you’re here! Did you enjoy my super awesome show?”
Clark was a light green pony with dark black eyes. His mane was also a light color, being near lavender. Clark’s flank was labeled with two marionettes for his mark. One puppet wore the happy drama mask, while its brethren wore the sad mask.
“Clark me matey! Your shows are always somethin special. I haven’t forgotten me surprise for ye tonight.” The two laughed together while Cannon and the rest stood there confused for the hundredth time since coming to this city.
“Clark is it? What exactly do you do? Do you just perform puppet shows for the hell of it?” Cannon showed fear as he asked the questions, as he didn’t know what to expect from anyone in this city.
“Well,” began Clark. “I originally began my puppet dream after learning I was very good at doing it.”
“Okay, but what’s your dream?”
“I did this because I wanted to get closer to the young ones.”
Cannon squinted his eyes. “Wait, a minute...”
“Aye, it’s true. I should be locked up, but I just can’t help it.”
Cannon and the others face hoofed in unison. “So, let us get this straight. The first two ponies we meet in this huge city is a butt pirate and a pedophile puppet dude who performs in alleys. Not only that, but they love each other too?”
Clark and Yarlin looked at each other and shrugged.
“You hit it right on the head,” said Clark.
“Now mate, that’s for later,” said Yarlin laughing.
The group sighed again and Poncho took out a water bottle. “You know, I have no hatred of homosexuals, but as long as they don’t do blumpkins, I’m alright with these guys.” Poncho gave a sketchy chuckle and began to drink his bottle of water.
“Actually mate, we do that too,” said Yarlin, with no ounce of regret.
At the mention of “blumpkin”, Poncho dropped his bottle of water. “E-Excuse me? Did you just say you did blumpkins?”
“That we did mate.”
Poncho looked at them, staring right at the both of them. Without speaking, Poncho turned around and began quickly walking away from them.
“Yo, wait up you asshole!” yelled Cannon, running after him. Patel, Fluffy, Jeb, and Clyde also chased after them while waving goodbye to Yarlin and Clark. After about two blocks, they reunited with Poncho and Cannon.
“Poncho what the hell?” asked Fluffy. “You just can’t run off like that.”
“I just can’t do it man, blumpkins are a huge NO.” Poncho began to rapidly shake his head and pace back and forth.
“Alright, enough with that shite coming out of your lips,” ordered Patel. “We’re here to have a fucking awesome time, not dick around like this.”
“He’s right,” agreed Fluffy.
“Depending on what each of us wants to do today, I think we should travel in pairs like Spike and Wahlburn did,” said Jeb.
“Alright, that sounds cool with me,” said Patel. He pulled out the map and began tracing lines to what places and shops would be cool to go to. While everyone was studying the map, Poncho noticed the teal pony from the airport looking at a street vendor’s stock. Cannon also noticed that Poncho wasn’t paying attention to their group chat.
“Poncho, what are you starting at?” asked Cannon.
“W-What!” yelled Poncho, flinching. “N-Nothing.”
Cannon scanned the area where Poncho was looking near. After a quick think session, Cannon singling out the only living thing over in that direction. “You mean that girl over there?”
“N-No.”
“Don’t worry man, I got you.” Cannon began to walk over to the girl, while Poncho tried stopping him by holding up an arm while he was already gone, like trying to tell him to don’t leave. Cannon approached the girl and quietly, and smoothly, stood beside her.
“Hey,” said Cannon, not looking at her and pretending to be all secretive.. “My friend over there likes you.”
“Which one, the green one?” she asked, also not looking at him not the group.
“No, the khaki one.”
She giggled. “Oh, him.”
“Yeah, he wants to know if you wanted to go with him tonight to a restaurant. Don’t worry, as it’s not just you two, we will probably be there too, but I should tell you, we know how to have a great time.”
“What resturant?”
“I have no idea, we just got here like three hours ago. Do you know a place?”
“Yeah, give me a map.” Cannon nonchalantly yawned and pulled out the map from his jacket. He slid it over to the girl while watching the others in the group. They were laughing while Poncho still had his arm in the air, begging him to come back.
“There,” she said, sliding the map back, “I circled my favorite restaurant, I’ll meet you guys there.”
“Alright, cool. We’ll be there around seven or so. I’m going to walk back now.”
Cannon nonchalantly walked back to the group without turning his head. As he stood beside Poncho he looked around.
“Well, what did you say to her?” asked Patel.
“Oh nothing. Hey Poncho, that girl is going to meet us at a restaurant at around seven so you better be ready.”
“Wait, what!” yelled Poncho, frantically zipping his jacket. The rest of them gave a quick cheer.
“Oh shit,” said Patel. “Poncho is getting some tonight!” They all cheered and laughed again while Poncho was shaking his head.
“Alright, can we now go and explore the city?” asked Fluffy to Patel.
“Yeah, let’s go. We’ll meet you at that restaurant later tonight.” Patel and Fluffy stormed off and went their own direction apart from each other.
“Well,” said Cannon, looking at his map, “I’m going to head to the coffee shops with Wahlburn and Spike. I think that would be my best option to waste time until this dinner thing I somehow started.” Cannon took off and disappeared in the crowds.
Clyde and Jeb looked at each other and then to Poncho. Poncho was staring at the ground, like he was paralyzed.
“Hey, what are you doing?” asked Clyde. Poncho jumped back to reality and shook his head quickly.
“N-Nothing.”
“Okay,” Clyde turned towards Jeb. “What are you going to do?”
“I dunno. I haven’t really thought of anything to do.”
“You could come with me I guess. All I’m doing is going to one or two different stores and I’m done with this place.”
“Alright, that sounds cool.” Clyde marked the area of where the two shops he wanted to go were located and looked back at Poncho. “You coming with us?”
“Nah man. I got to prepare for this dinner tonight. I’ll see you guys at the restaurant.” Poncho sketchily fast walked away from the scene leaving Clyde and Jeb to sigh.
“I swear, you would think that guy owned his own meth lab,” said Jeb.
“He probably does.”
Clyde and Jeb made their way through the city, looking at the different stores, citizens, sceneries, and buildings on their way. Soon, they came across a random roadblock, even though it was a pedestrian only zone. They both walked up to the roadblock and a construction worker.
“Sorry, you can’t pass over this bridge,” said a worker with his neon yellow shirt on. “We are trying to repair it.”
“Repair it? Why happened to it?” asked Clyde.
“It’s not broken or anything, it’s just that we are redoing the tiles on it.”
“Is that really necessary?” asked Jeb.
“Yeah, art is a big deal in Amsterdam. Look, there is a detour over in that alley to get over to that district. It’s only another block you have to walk.” The worker returned to his co-workers back at the bridge.
Clyde and Jeb walked the extra block to said alleyway that would take them to the district they were trying to get to. The alleyway was loaded with homeless ponies laying around on the ground.
“Great,” said Clyde. “Leave it to Amsterdam for having a detour in an alleyway.” They quickly walked past the hobos, trying to reach the bridge for safety. At the beginning of the bridge, a hobo jumped in front of them to stop them from passing.
“I know you,” said the hobo, staring into Jeb’s eyes.
“What are you talking about? I just got here a few hours ago.”
“No, you’re Prince Apollo!”
“Looks like we found a drunk one, Clyde. Let’s go.” Jeb ran hurriedly ran across the small bridge while Clyde slowly followed. Once across the bridge and back into a busy street, Clyde caught up with Jeb and walked beside him.
“Prince Apollo, huh?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I bet it is.”
“Do you want me to tell you now?”
Clyde shook his head. “No, it can wait for later if you want to tell me.”
After traveling the same busy street for ten minutes, Clyde and Jeb finally made it to P.C. Hooftstraat, the famous high class shopping street in Amsterdam. They both split up at this point, as they both wanted to go to different shops. Jeb went to buy some new fancy vests while Clyde went to the nearby jewelry stores. An hour later, they both met back in the center of the street.
“So, you ready to head back?” asked Jeb.
“Yeah, we still have a lot of time to spare until this dinner thing. Let’s take a canal boat because I don’t want to deal with those crazy homeless ponies again.”
“Agreed.”
Clyde and Jeb took the nearby canal station and got on a boat to travel to the restaurant. After a quick thirty minute canal session, they arrived at the restaurant marked on their map.
As they got off of the canal and paid the pony operating it, they saw Poncho sitting on the docks.
“Poncho! You’re here early,” said Jeb.
“Actually, I was here the whole time. I’m super nervous.”
“You do realize that this isn’t a date right?” asked Clyde. “We’re all going to be in there with you.”
“Yeah, but I just don’t want to be awkward out there.”
“Good luck with that...,” said Jeb under his breath. Jeb left them to enter the restaurant to use the bathroom.
“Hey Clyde, could you help me with something?” asked Poncho.
Clyde looked at him and quickly thought of all the things he could help him with at that very moment. “What is it?”
Poncho nervously looking around looked back at Clyde. “Could you tell me what was the very first thing you said to Rarity?”
Clyde quickly pondered the question and went back to a year and a few months ago in his mind. “I’m pretty sure the first direct thing I said straight to her was something like: “I could ask you the same thing.” Why did you ask me that?”
“Well, seeing how you are the only of us that is serious enough to be in a relationship for more than a year, I need your advice to not be awkward to a girl.”
Clyde laughed. “Why should I help you, when you’re the one who constantly bashes Rarity?”
Poncho grinned. “Because you owe me. I saved your life twice in the past two years.”
“Twice? I can understand South Beach, but where was the second time?”
“Back when you died and everyone else except Tyrone, I was the one who thought of the plan to use it to bring you guys back.” Poncho gave a large smile. “Without me, none of you would still be here, and actually, I would probably be eating some chips on my couch right now.”
Clyde shook his head. “I’ll give you half credit on that one. You’re not the one who wished me back though.”
“Half? I don’t think so.”
“Look, you had the idea, but you physically, or mentally in this case, did not bring me back. I could just give you credit for South Beach.”
“Alright, fine. Can you help me then?”
“I guess if I have to.”
“What should I say to her if she talks to me?”
Clyde looked across the water’s surface to see that the sun’s rays were almost touching the horizon. “It depends on the situation.”
“Whaaaaat?”
“Like, don’t be all douchey or act like a little bitch. You have to act all calm and collective and make sure you make her laugh at least once in the first few minutes.”
“Did that work for you?”
“No Poncho, I’ve been alone for the past two years feeling sorry for myself because I was so sketchy talking to her. I got so upset, I even bought her gifts today to remember why I hate my life so much,” said Clyde sarcastically.
“See, this is why we think you’re a douche sometimes. I wonder, do you ever act this way around Rarity?”
“Well, sarcasm is great so stop being a little bitch about it. As for your second question, no. Sarcasm is only fun talking to you.” Clyde stood up and stretched. “Is there anymore questions?”
“No, I think I’m good.” They walked up the dock stairs and entered the restaurant. The restaurant was chinese origin with the employees all dressed up. Probably the most interesting thing about the restaurant was that it was on one of the city’s lakes. Once Poncho and Clyde walked in, they saw Jeb sitting down in the waiting area.
“I got our reservations all set,” said Jeb, as Poncho and Clyde sat next to him. “Now we wait for the others.”
“I wish I knew this place was going to be this fancy,” said Poncho nervously looking around, “I look like I’m straight from the streets.”
“Compared to other places I’ve been, this isn’t even close to fancy,” said Clyde. “At least you don’t have to wear a suit and tie in here.”
As time passed, they saw multiple parties of ponies enter and leave the restaurant. At least half of them were dressed sophisticated-like, while the others were dressed in casual clothes. Thirty minutes of waiting later, Patel and Fluffy walked in.
“Oh hey guys, how was Amsterdam?” asked Jeb.
“Great!” said Fluffy. “Not only did we catch some super fútbol games, we got to witness the great art and architecture this city has.”
“Sounds fun, all we did was go shopping.”
“Hey, you wanted to tag along with me,” said Clyde.
“Where’s Cannon and that girl?” asked Patel, looking around.
“No idea,” said Poncho, “Maybe she wanted to stand me up!”
“It’s not a fucking date!” yelled the others.
Soon, Cannon walked in. After seeing his friends, he ran over. “My dudes! Who is ready to party!”
“We’re eating, not partying,” said Patel. “I hope this whole thing isn’t some stupid ass excuse to fill up time, because it’s almost Red Light District time boys.” They waited another five minutes for the girl from before to finally walk in the restaurant.
She walked up to the hostess and pointed to the group. The hostess nodded, grabbed menus, and waved them to follow her. After walking what seemed liked a mile and past nearly every customer, they finally sat down at a big circular table.
After the hostess left, they all sat there quite silently. Cannon, who sat next to Poncho and Clyde, hit Poncho in the leg to make him speak.
“H-Huh? Oh, so, uh, what exactly is your name?” asked Poncho to the girl. The others laughed, even the girl.
“It’s Bloem,” she said after she was done laughing.
“Bloem?” asked Cannon, “that sounds vaguely familiar.”
“It should,” said Bloem, “I went to the same university as you guys. Castle?” Everyone, except Fluffy, all gave an ‘Ahh point and nod’.
“Well shit, what are you doing way out here?” asked Cannon.
Bloem looked through the menu quickly and placed it down. “Probably the same reason as you guys, except the weed that is, to just explore this wonderful city.”
“You forgot to mention the hookers,” said Poncho. The guys all sighed.
“Really?” said Patel. “You’re not helping yourself if you mention hookers to a female.”
Poncho frowned and was about to speak, but the waiter came up to them.
“Herro,” said the waiter. They could tell that he hasn’t perfected their native language yet. “How can I help you today?”
The group all ordered their food and the waiter left them. The remainder of the dinner was mostly Cannon and the others yelling and making fun of Poncho whenever he spoke directly to Bloem. After a few insults, Poncho began yelling back at the others and the whole table was bickering back and forth. The bickering continued even when they were eating and after the dinner.
After everyone calmed down, mostly because they were full from their meals, their checks came.
“Shit, this place was expensive as fuck,” said Patel.
“Tell me about it,” said Fluffy.
Poncho nervously looked at his and at everyone else. He looked over at Bloem, who was pulling out some Amsterdam coins. “Hey,” he bravely said, “I’ll pay for yours.”
Bloem looked at him. “Really? You don’t have to, this was just a fun dinner with some friends.”
“Oh, well if-” Poncho stopped as Cannon his his leg again, “I mean, no, I’ll get it.” Poncho took out more of his coins, which made him run out of his supply.
“Thanks Poncho!” said Bloem. “I have to hurry up and leave anyway, I have to call my mother back at the hotel.” She quickly walked away from the table and disappeared out of the main doors.
“Do you think I did the right thing?” asked Poncho.
“Well, you did or you just got scammed out of your money,” said Cannon, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
After paying, they all left the restaurant and looked at the time. Seeing how it was close to ten at night, if they started walking back to the coffee shop where Spike and Wahlburn were probably still at, they would make it back by around eleven, the time where the Red Light District is full of life.
Like they predicted, after walking through the lit streets of Amsterdam, at eleven they walked inside the coffee shop. They saw Bastiaan sitting at the bar, while Spike and Wahlburn were passed out on some bean bags in the corner.
“New friends!” said Bastiaan excitedly upon seeing the group. “How did Amsterdam fare?”
“Pretty great, but we’re ready for some Red Light action if you know what I mean!” yelled Cannon.
Bastiaan smirked, “Great, well let’s go!” Bastiaan led most of the group outside. Spike and Wahlburn stayed behind because they were sleeping and along with them, Clyde stayed behind seeing he had no reason to go there, and Jeb stayed behind because he was dubbed “too much of a bitch” to go with them..
Bastiaan led his pack across the small bridge to the district. As talked about, most of the buildings were lit up with red lights. Crowds of ponies gathered around the windows of the buildings, as a prostitute was usually dancing around in it.
“Alright dudes,” said Bastiaan, “I want to leave here by midnight, so hurry up and go crazy!” The group gave a cheer and all ran towards the crowds, while Poncho nervously walked. Instead of taking part of the activities, Poncho decided to look around instead. Five minutes to midnight, the others met back at the coffee shop.
“That shit was crazy!” yelled Cannon. “I’ll be sleeping good tonight boys.”
“Same,” said Fluffy.
“Dammit Spike!” yelled Wahlburn. “Why the hell didn’t to stop me so we could’ve went?”
“Dude...,” said Spike, who tripped himself. “I don’t know.”
After one last minute or so of socializing, they all boarded the bus again and Bastiaan drove off. Once back on the road towards the cottage, they all looked at the bright city of Amsterdam behind them.