//------------------------------// // The Return of Pinkie Pie // Story: The Harmonious Bat Hero Sailor Warrior Rangers Z Force // by Jioplip //------------------------------// Morning in Ponyville was overcast with a scheduled shower in the afternoon. It was a relatively average day, though not as average as some. Of course the Ponyville definition of average can be very broad, which can be seen today as two Space™ Pods crashed into town hall. Two hours after the crash the passengers got bored of nopony coming to investigate and stepped out, dramatically revealing their identities as being- "And while I was home my long-lost Space™ sister Reprise showed up, and Piccoluna and I had to team up to fight her, but I ended up having to sacrifice my life so that Piccoluna could defeat her!" Pinkie Pie nodded as she took a pause from telling her story, "I thought I was a goner, but my family got together the seven mystical Super Dragon Saint Relics, and revived me from death." The rest of the Z Elements could only stare on in bafflement after hearing their friend's... interesting story. The first to recover from their stupor was Twilight, the resident single genius, "So the reason you were gone so long is because your family had to track down seven mystical relics of untold magical power?" "Oh no no no no," Pinkie corrected emphatically, "I was just busy training in Otherworld with King Kai to prepare for the super-dangerous Space™ Ponies that are even MORE powerful than my sister and who will be arriving any day now." Rainbow Dash smacked herself in the face in exhasperation, "And you didn't warn us about this because...?" "I was dead silly, how was I supposed to?" Pinkie shook her head dismissively. "You could've sent Celestikami a message," Rarity chimed in, "she is the Guardian of Equestria after all." "Or you could've had King Kai send us a telepathic message," Twilight sagely pointed out, "my books say he can do that." "If Piccoluna was there when you kicked the bucket you could've had her pass on the message." interjected Rainbow Dash. "Oh." Pinkie rubbed the back of her head and blushed, "My baaad." "Oh don't you worry too much," Applejack struck a saucy pose, "yer disappearance had us mighty worried, so we went ahead and put in some special training in Canterlot just t'be safe." Pinkie Pie gasped dramatically, "That means you guys can help me fight the Space™ Ponies that landed a couple hours ago." "Yeah, we'll kick those Space™ ponies' bu- wait they've already landed?" Rainbow's eyes bugged out as the news sank in. "Well yeah," Pinkie smiled knowingly, "didn't you hear their Space™ Pods crash in town earlier?" The others responded with mumbles of 'not thinking much of it' and 'not anything special really' and other humorous anecdotes. "But even though they're here already we don't have anything to worry about with you here, right Pinkie?" Fluttershy looked up hopefully. "Actually I gotta go do something vague in Canterlot try to not all die out there bye." Pinkie suddenly flew towards Canterlot, leaving her friends horrified at the prospect of facing- -none other than King Sombra and Bulk Biceps, two of the few surviving Space™ Ponies. The duo strode confidently from their Space™ Pods, their Space™ Armour glinting in the sunlight and their Space™ Scouters staying attached by no visible means. "So this is Equestria," King Sombra mused, "the gravity here is light, I doubt we'll have much trouble with the inhabitants." "YEAH!" Replied Bulk sagely. "My thoughts exactly, let's go find those Super Dragon Saint Relics." "NOT SO FAST, SPACE™ KNAVE!" Piccoluna alighted upon the ground with Pipsqueak, "You may have come a long way for our relics, but there's no way We will allow that." "Wait, weren't we supposed to come to you?" King Sombra seemed metaconfused, "And I'm positive there are supposed to be more of you." "YEAH!" "WE WILL NOT WAIT WHILE YOU CRETINS SLAUGHTER INNOCENTS!" Piccoluna reared up on her back legs and lit up her horn, a bright light flashed from her horn as she summoned THE Z ELEMENTS MINUS PINKIE® to the battlefield, "There, now we may begin the battle for the fate of this world!" Rainbow flew up and started shadowboxing, "Oh yeah! Now to kick some Space™ Pony bu-" "Actually, since I'm a non-combatant can I just go examine alien technology?" Twilight asked sheepishly. "By all means Twilight Sparkle." Piccoluna turned to the Space™ Ponies, "Could one of you lend her some of your alien technology?" "Meh, whatever," King Sombra closed his eyes in a bored fashion, "Bulk, pass her your Scouter, let her play with that." "YEAH!" Bulk flew menacingly towards Twilight at super speeds, stopping just short of impact to politely give her his scouter. "Thank you Bulk!" Twilight accepted the scouter gleefully. "YEAH!" Bulk floated back to King Sombra as Twilight skipped away happily. "So..." Rainbow Dash began tentatively shadowboxing, "do we start kicking their bu-" "SAIBAGIBLETS!" as soon as Bulk screamed six green pony-ish things sprouted in front of him, presumably Saibagiblets. "That's it!" Rainbow surged forward with incredible speed toward the nearest Saibagiblet, "I'll juet kick this thing's bu-" KA-BOOM! "Wow," King Sombra looked on in contempt, "truly is she greatest tactical mind of our generation." "Rainbow!" yelled her allies in sorrow. "Yea shall her genius deliver us from darkness and lead us to salvation." "Do you mind?" Rarity stared coldly at the Space™ Pony, "In case you hadn't noticed our friend just died!" "My entire planet was destroyed," King Sombra countered coldly. "Oh." Rarity's face fell as she processed the ramifications of his statement, "I'm so sorry for your loss." "Holy shit you are such massive pussies," King Sombra looked around pensively, "Where the hell is Surprise anyway? I'm pretty sure she's the only one around here who'll provide any challenge." "HEY!" Piccoluna shouted angrily. "What's the matter alimekian?" King Sombra grinned wickedly, "Are you mad that you're so weak even Reprise was too much for you?" "ALI-WHAT?" Ali-what? thought Celestikami. Celestikami was sitting in her throne room. She had been observing the proceedings for some time, which was strange since so little had happened. "Celestikami? Is everything alright?" Celestikami's aide approached uncertainly. "I'm afraid not Shining Armour, and yet there still may very well be yet possibly hope for this world of ours." "Whatever do you mean?" Shining Armour was torn between sadness and relief. "While I can still feel the certainty of Piccoluna's demise looming, the Space™ Pony's words are very promising," Celestikami raised her head to the heavens gravely, and yet also smiled, "for you see, Shining Armour, there may yet be more Super Dragon Sain Relics." "Truly? But where?" Celestikami's smile widened as she looked to Shining Armour, "My home planet, the birthplace of the Alimekians." "ALI-WHAT?" yelled Piccoluna, "Really though, what is that?" "It doesn't matter," King Sombra smiled evilly, "I doubt you'll even live long enough to fight Bulk, so there's no need to get caught up on trivial details." "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK FIEND!" Piccoluna grasped Fluttershy in her magic, ignoring the pegasus' squeaky objections, "FEEL THE POWER OF A PROUD EQUESTRIAN!" Piccoluna threw Fluttershy hard at the collected Saibagiblets, but instead of making contact and exploding like Rainbow Dangerounknobodon'tellaunlesanitary. King Sombra and Bulk could only stare in horror at what remained of the Saibagiblets. "What the hell was that?" King Sombra stepped back, his face turning green, "I think I'm gonna be sick." Pipsqueak sidled closer to his master, "Piccoluna I'm scared." "FEAR NOT LITTLE PIP!" Piccoluna proclaimed patriotically(?), "for Fluttershy is and always has been our ally." "Excellent work Fluttershy," Rarity beamed, "Now you Space™ Ponies see the error of coming to-" "YEAH!" Bulk, moving quicker than could be seen, killed Rarity in a method too terrible to describe while maintaining a teen rating, yet not nearly as terrible as what happened to the Saibagiblets. "Rarity!" Applejack cried out, sorrow painted plainly on her face, "How could you, you mons-" "YEAH!" Y'know, it occurs to me that Bulk killing everypony isn't all that amusing. If only he had a sexy gravelly voice and hilarious dialogue. "Oh I'm sorry, what was that?" King Sombra, seemingly recovered from his nausea, what back to swaggering like the super-elite ponce he was, "I couldn't quite hear you over the sound of your organs shattering that windowpane!" AND THEN SUDDENLY CLIFFHANGNAIL!