A Derp And A Chirp:
Chapter 2- Half Aslake:
The parrot continued to squawk in during the night, and it was two in the morning. Derpy lied there in her bed with her eyes bloodshot and wide-awake. She stared at the ceiling it seemed for an eternity, and then faced back at the bird. There were times where she was even tempted to go ahead and use it as firewood for her fireplace to shut it up for good.
“For bucks sake! What the heck do you need?!” she yelled out at it.
“Muffin!” the parrot squawked, flapping its wings briefly.
“I already told you, for the tenth time already…I DON’T HAVE ANYMORE MUFFINS!” she exclaimed back at it. She expected the bird would finally silence with that intensive yelling she did…but it could care less.
“Muffin!” it squawked once more.
However, just as Derpy was literally about to free it out into that “wide horrible world” called Equestria, she then noticed something not finished yet below its cage.
“You’ve…got to be kidding me.” she thought to herself, feeling like she was truly the biggest idiot in Equestria right now.
She then slowly got out of her bed, and then picked up the half eaten muffin to give to the bird. The parrot immediately then stopped and stared at it, then back at her.
“What? Isn’t this what you wanted?!” she shook the muffin in front of it and its cage frustrated with it to begin with.
It said nothing, and proceeded to get closer to the cage as the muffin touched the outside surface of it. It nibbled here and there at it for minutes on end it seemed.
“Ah screw it, here you go.” Derpy then swiftly opens up the cage door and carelessly tosses it in there with him.
“Okay…good night!” she shouts out, tucking herself once more into the bed.
A couple of hours then passed again, and the parrot was at it once more.
“MUFFIN!”
The sudden sound woke Derpy up, and caused her to jump in her bed.
“Ah!”
“MUFFIN!”
“No…no…NO…..NOOOOO!!!!” she hit the bed with her hooves next to her over and over again, and looked back at the bird intensively. This then got the birds attention, and it stopped and stared back at her. They simply sat there, deadlocked at each other’s eyes, not moving an inch. At least Derpy was managing to keep the birds noises at bay with its high volume, but she knew she had to get up in a few hours anyway to get ready for work too.
“Uh…please bird I don’t even have a name for yet…just PLEASE let me sleep.” she then got right up to the cage and dramatically pleaded with it to simply sleep for once.
“PLLLEEEAAAASSSEEE!!!!!!!” she begged immensely from it. The bird simply remained on its perch and stared back at her, and then got right up to the cage in front of her.
“Um…what’re you doing?” Derpy wondered, noticing that the parrot was literally right in her face within the cage she put it in.
“Hmm…what if I take off the cage then?” Derpy then a few minutes later manages to take apart the cage around it, without it disturbing the bird.
“There…better?” she asked it, as she made her way back into her soft warm bed.
“Muffin.”
“Okay…good. Well then I think that about settles everyth-”
“MUFFIN!”
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA! I’M SOOO TAKING YOU BACK TOMORROW!” Derpy facehoofed herself, and she knew that from the looks of it, it seemed like a lost cause to make it shut up for now. So she shut her bedroom door, keeping it inside her bedroom, and went downstairs with her cover and pillow to sleep on the couch.
“Mmm…yeahhhh…now this is more li- AAAAHHH!!!”
“MUFFIN!”
* * * *
Derpy then sprung out of her bed and quickly panned around her black room. Her daughter, Dinky, sleeping next to her woke up with her.
“What’s wrong momma?”
“I…I had the most terrible dream. A parrot was eating all of my muffins; it kept me up all night! I couldn’t get any sleep at all…worst part was…IT WAS EATING ALL OF MY MUFFINS! MY BEAUTIFUL MUFFINS!!! Even worse was…I got it from Fluttershy! How could she keep such a thing?!” Derpy’s eyes stared right into Dinky’s, as Derpy lightly rocked back and forth in her bed. Which caused her daughter to be a bit worried for her. Dinky however knew that her mom was like this sometimes, mainly due to the fact that poppy seeds were allegedly claimed to get you high, should you eat a very large quantity of them. Though chances were that tale wasn’t true…so it could just be her mother being random like she is sometimes.
“Okay…we’re gonna stop getting you poppy seed muffins by the dozens, starting now.” Dinky then brought the bed covers back over herself, and then went back to sleep.
“But what if-” her mother’s mouth was then silenced by Dinky’s hoof immediately covering it thereafter.
“Shhh, just sleep momma…I gotta go to school in a few hours.”
“Ohhh…alright then.” Derpy rolled her eyes back at her daughter, as they were acting opposite roles of each other unintentionally.
Silence then fell back to its natural state, but Derpy had just hatched and idea quickly in her genius cranium.
“I think I’m gonna get a pet tomorrow…how about a parrot! I bet one of those would be so cool!” she thought to herself with a smile.
She then just several minutes later drifted off to a state of adorable pony slumber. Which I would dare say…pony slumber is in fact “Best Slumber”.