//------------------------------// // Chapter 4 // Story: The Courtship Catastrophe // by Dianwei32 //------------------------------// The Courtship Catastrophe Chapter Four         “Oh, um… hi, Rainbow.” Twilight looked up from her seat perched on a plush sofa. The alicorn smiled sheepishly, and her eyes darted back down to the magazine she had been reading when her friend threw the door open. “I was just…” She bit her lip, trying to stealthily put the magazine on the cushion next to her, but she knew it was too late when she saw Rainbow’s eyes move down and fix themselves on the cover. “I was just reading an article in this month’s Canterlot University Review by Professor Brighthoof about the supposed violation of Ishawk Newtalon’s Third Law of Motion in regards to unicorn magic.”         “Huh?” Dash stared at the alicorn for a few seconds while her words floated in one ear and out the other. “No, I meant, why are you sitting in here reading a magazine? Your food’s getting cold.”         “Oh.” Twilight’s ears folded back and she tapped her hooves together. “I just… wanted to give you girls a little privacy so that you could enjoy your date without me hanging around as a third wheel.”         “Third…” Dash furrowed her brow and shook her head. “But Twi, the whole point of this was so that me and you could spend some time together.” She turned back to the door and lifted a wing, holding it at an easy height for the other mare to move under. “Now come on, let’s go see about getting some more wine.” Before Twilight could get up, Rainbow’s wing snapped back to her side. “Err… one minute.” The pegasus zipped into a stall and slammed the door shut.         Twilight smiled to herself and picked the magazine back up to try and read a few more paragraphs while she waited for Rainbow to come back out. However, Dash was comfortable enough to continue their conversation unimpeded. “Say, Twi, I’ve been meaning to ask… what’s that savvy-o thing you were talking about yesterday? You know, the one that was like unicorn marking.”         “Oh, saviatio.” Twilight put the Review down again, making a quick mental note of the cover image so that she could pick up a copy back home. “Well, it’s an… intimate action for unicorns, like feathermarking is for pegasi. It’s really just using a very gentle wave of magic to brush or caress your… partner.” She blushed at discussing such a personal topic in a public place, and she cast a quick soundproofing spell on the door to give her some peace of mind. “The most intimate area to do it on is the horn, but it’s also common to go for places like the neck, ribs, cheeks, or even the cutie mark.”         “Sweet.” Dash trotted out of her stall and over to the sink. “So, what’s it feel like?”         “W-well, it varies from pony to pony, depending on both the giving and receiving ends.” Twilight paused, knowing that she was heading into dangerous territory very soon after fixing things with her friends. “But the most common feelings are a light pressure, something like wind running through your coat… or itching.”         Dash was busy admiring herself in the mirror, and it took a while for the alicorn’s words to sink in. Once they did, she slowly turned away from the mirror. “Itching? Wait… Twi, yesterday were you—”         “I’m sorry.” Twilight took a step forward, trying to block the pegasus if she tried to run, but not wanting to get too close. “I… I don’t know why I did it. I was just being stupid yesterday. Please don’t be mad, and please don’t tell Applejack. I know she said she’s not angry, but I don’t want to test it.”         “Twilight Sparkle.” Dash grinned predatorily, her eyes half-lidded. “Look at you, being such a bad girl.” She ran her tongue over her teeth.         Twilight was rooted in place, held captive by a primal intensity in Rainbow’s gaze. At this moment, she wanted nothing in the world more than to simply run over and kiss Rainbow for all she was worth, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. Then, all of a sudden, it was over. Dash was all friendly smiles again, as if a switch had been flipped, and she turned back to the sink. Once the pegasus had washed her hooves, Twilight stood up and walked over to Dash’s side, ducking under the other mare’s wing as they headed back out to the main room. While they walked, Rainbow leaned against her side, but Twilight was able to support her easily.         “You know what would make this whole thing easier?” Dash rested her head on the alicorn’s shoulder, completely oblivious to the new kinds of looks they were getting. “If I didn’t have to choose between you and AJ. Why do I have to, anyway? It’s so lame. I mean, I like AJ, I like you, and you like AJ. Boom, done.” After a few more steps, she lifted her head from Twilight’s shoulder. “Hey, we should totally do that!”         Twilight had to snake her own wing under Dash’s and pull to the right to keep the other mare from drifting off to the left and running into other tables. “Do what, Rainbow?”         “You, me, and AJ!” Dash leaned heavily against her friend. “All three of us together. Just imagine how hot that would be.”         Twilight distinctly tried not to imagine what that would be like, but she could already feel her cheeks burning. A small ember of hope sparked in her chest, but she quashed it. Even if I agreed… Applejack never would. She took a deep breath and forced a chuckle as she opened the door to their dining room with her magic. “Rainbow, how much wine have you had?”         “Not that much. Only like…” Dash raised a hoof like she was trying to count on it. “Some. Oh, but if the bottle is empty when we get back, it was totally AJ.”         “There y’all are.” Applejack turned and rested a foreleg on the back of her chair as her friends finally returned. “Ah was ‘fraid Ah was gonna haveta send the Royal Guards after ya. Oh, and Twi—” She picked up a nearly full bottle of the White Zinfandel sitting next to her. “Little Miss Lightweight over there drank the rest of the first bottle, so Ah got us another one to share.”         “Hey! I’m not a white light!” Dash shot back, a bit of a slur edging into her voice. She stood up from her position leaning against Twilight and walked over to the table, bumping into the back of her chair in the process. After spending a few moments climbing into her chair, she grabbed her wine glass and held it out toward her marefriend, giving her best puppy-dog eyes. “Come on, AJ. Just a little more.”         Applejack tried to remain stoic, but ultimately relented under Rainbow’s pleading gaze. “Alright, fine, ya no good little varmint.” She poured about half a glass for the pegasus. “But that’s all ya get, so make it last.”         “Sweet.” Dash immediately pulled her glass back and brought it to her lips, taking a long pull. When she was done, barely any wine was left in the glass. Without missing a beat, she dove back into her food, eschewing her fork and simply leaning down to take a big bite straight from the plate.         “Rainbow Elizabeth Dash! Use yer danged fork!” Applejack grabbed her marefriend’s fork and gently tossed it at her, bouncing it off of the pegasus’ nose before it landed in the middle of her plate. Rainbow picked up the fork and licked a few bits of cheese and potato stuck to it before using it to scoop up another big chunk of food. Applejack pressed a hoof over her eyes. “Sug’, Ah swear… one of these days…” She sighed and turned to Twilight, who was giggling into a horseshoe. “So, Twi, what took ya so long back there? Ya get lost or somethin’?”         “Oh, no.” Twilight levitated her spoon and scooped up some of her soup, which was, as Rainbow had said, rather cold. Her horn flared to life for a second while she wove and cast a quick heating spell. “I just saw that they had the latest Canterlot University Review and there was an interesting article on the cover. I mean to just read the first paragraph or two… but I kind of got carried away.”         “Sure you did.” Dash chuckled, popped another bite of food in her mouth, and leaned over toward Applejack, bits of food falling out while she talked. “She was trying to give us some privacy because she said she feels like a third wheel on our date.” Across the table, Twilight grimaced and covered her face with her hooves, but Rainbow plowed ahead. “And I told her that was lame, because the whole point of this date is to see how we feel about each other. And then I told her that—”         “Rainbow!” Twilight’s hooves slammed down, trying to grip the edge of the table.         “Twilight, what in tarnation is she goin’ on about?” Applejack turned away from her marefriend, reaching down to wipe away a few bits of stray food Rainbow had gotten on her skirt. “Is all that true?”         “Well…” Twilight stared into her soup and swirled her spoon around the bowl.         “That’s not even the best part!” Dash wiped a hoof across her mouth, then proceeded to wipe the half-chewed bits of food onto her dress. “You remember how I was telling you that I was itchy all morning? Well, turns out it was Twi being all savvy-o.”         “Saviatio.” The word was out of her mouth before she knew it, and Twilight clamped her hooves over her mouth to keep herself from digging her hole any deeper.         “Huh.” Applejack barely processed the word. Her mind was still hung up on the fact that apparently Twilight had simply waited in the bathroom. “Sugarcube, why would ya— Wait, you what?” She leaned over the table, the end of her mane dragging through her food.         “I’m sorry, Applejack!” Twilight shrank down in her chair, to the point that it looked like she was trying to slide under the table. “Please don’t—”         “Come on, AJ.” Dash leaned over to her marefriend, laying a hoof on the earth pony’s shoulder to steady herself. “It’s no big deal. It’s just like feathermarking, and we already forgave her for that. It’s cool.”         “It sure as shootin’ ain’t!” Applejack looked back and forth between her marefriend and the alicorn currently peeking over her soup bowl, her lips curled back in a snarl. “The whole reason we forgave her fer featehrmarkin’ you was that it was a one time thing. Somethin’ she said was a mistake.” She slammed a hoof against the table on the last word. “Now yer tellin’ me that it wasn’t? That she’s been doin’ this fer Celestia only knows how long?”         “It was only the one lesson, I swear!” Twilight’s ears folded back against her head.         “Sure it was.” Applejack watched the alicorn for a time before finally blowing a sharp breath out of her nose. “Fine. Ah suppose there ain’t nothin’ we can do ‘bout it now.”         “O-okay.” Twilight slowly sat up, pausing to make sure that the hot-blooded earth pony was still calm before scooting up a little higher in her seat. Once she was fully upright again, she picked up her spoon and started on her barely-touched soup. The three of them drifted into silence for a few minutes, each working on their own meals and occasionally sipping on their wine, if they had any left.         “Say, Twi.” Dash broke the silence, spraying a few tiny bits of her last bite of food as she spoke. “I’ve been wondering… If you already knew how to fly when you asked for lessons, where did you learn how to fly?”         Before the alicorn could answer, though, Applejack piped up. “Five bits says it was a book.”         “No, Applejack, it wasn’t a book.” Twilight let the silence linger just long enough for her friends to raise their eyebrows. “It was several books.” She stuck her tongue out when Applejack groaned and rolled her eyes. “But, yes, I read a number of books on flight and aerodynamics, then practiced in the library.”         “The library?” Dash picked up her wine glass, only to lament that it was empty. She turned to her marefriend and held out the glass silently pleading for just a little bit more for the third time in the last five minutes. This time, Applejack relented and poured the last little bit of the the bottle into her glass. Rainbow smiled and leaned over for a kiss on the cheek, but wobbled on the way and ended up kissing the earth pony on the side of the nose. “Isn’t it a little small to be learning how to fly?” She asked, bringing the glass to her lips.         “Yes it is.” Twilight nodded, rubbing a shoulder. “And the floor is very hard, too. The first time I tried to just glide, I didn’t realize how much force it would put on my wings. I kind of just… fell from the landing.”         Rainbow doubled over laughing, spraying the wine she had been drinking all over the table. The rest of what had been in her glass sloshed out and landed in a long puddle down the front of her dress. “Oops.” She slurred. After looking at her now empty glass, she leaned down, sticking out her tongue and trying to lick up the wine she had spilled.         “Oh no!” Twilight hopped down from her chair, swaying a bit on the landing, and stepped over to her friend. “Here, let me help you with that, Rainbow. Just sit—” Before she could finish, a pair of hooves grabbed each side of her face and lifted her head up. She saw Dash’s rose-colored eyes for a brief moment before their lips met. A thousand frantic questions clamored around her head, but they faded to the background as Rainbow’s lips started moving against hers and forelegs slid around her neck, pulling her closer. Her worries melted away while she kissed Rainbow, but something kept niggling at the back of her mind, telling her that she shouldn’t be doing it. She couldn’t put her hoof on it, though, so she ignored it.         After what seemed like both a brief instant and an eternity, they pulled apart, but not before Dash nipped at Twilight’s bottom lip. Twilight slowly opened her eyes, and a shiver raced down her spine when she met Rainbow’s heated gaze. Sweet Celestia, why have we never done that before? The sound of a fork clattering against a plate drew both of their attention to the third mare present. Right. Marefriend. “Applejack, I—”         The earth pony held up a hoof to silence the alicorn. Applejack stepped down from her chair and took a breath to try and steady herself a bit. She owed it to them to bow out gracefully, without making it into an ordeal. “Well, congratulations, Twilight. Ah hope y’all’re mighty happy together.” She trotted to the door, her eyes tearing up as the cracks in her stoic demeanor began to form and grow.         “Wait…” Dash looked between her marefriend and Twilight, who was still wrapped in her forelegs. “AJ, wha—” Her marefriend was already gone.         “Damnit.” Twilight extricated herself from Rainbow’s embrace, then grabbed a hoof and pulled the pegasus out of her seat. “Come on, Rainbow. We need to go after her.” She cantered over to the doorway, but paused when she heard a thud. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw Dash in a tangle of limbs on the floor. Furrowing her brow in concentration, she picked the pegasus up in her magic and floated Dash over to lay along her back, lashing them together with band of magic. Once her passenger was secure, she galloped out of the dining room and toward the exit, barely slowed by the mare on her back. Thank you, earth pony strength.         They crashed through the front doors, leaving a trail of bewildered ponies in their wake, and searched for any sign of Applejack. Twilight looked up and down the street, scanning for any sign of the earth pony amongst the crowds milling about. “Which way do you think she went, Rainbow?”         “I don’t know.” Dash gave a cursory glance down the street, then spread her wings. “But I know how we can find her.” She gathered her legs under her and crouched on the alicorn’s back.         “Rainbow, wait. At least let me— Oof!” Twilight’s words cut off when Dash leapt off of her back, pumping her wings. The band of magic connecting them stretched while the pegasus climbed, before it abruptly pulled Twilight up into the air. She was left hanging a few feet below Rainbow, her legs flailing against the empty air. “Rainbow, just—” She grunted as Rainbow banked to the side and the magical band dug into her side. Twilight spread her wings to catch the air and dissolved the band, lurching down a few feet before she caught herself.         “There she is!” Dash pointed off to the side and banked, a rip sounding as a long tear opened down the side of her dress. She angled down, gliding in the direction of the train station with Twilight right behind her. They landed next to Applejack, who quickly rubbed her eyes with a hoof when she saw them.         “What… whadda y’all want?” The earth pony asked, sniffing one last time.         “What the heck, AJ?” Dash trotted over and sat next to her marefriend. “What was that all about?” She extended a wing, inviting the other mare to come under it.         Applejack gently pushed her marefriend’s wing away. “Ya know darn well what.” She tried to hold Dash’s gaze, but looked away as her eyes started to tear up again. “Ya kissed Twi. Ya changed yer mind and picked her over me.” She slumped down. “Ain’t no use in fightin’ it. Ah figured Ah might as well just ride off into the sunset and leave you two be.”         “AJ, what are you talking about?” Dash stared at her marefriend in confusion. “That was just part of—” She froze mid-sentence, her mouth hanging open while she blinked a few times. After several moments of silence, she turned to Twilight. “I forgot to tell her about that, didn’t I?” The alicorn simply groaned and pressed a hoof to her face.         “Tell me what?” Applejack looked back and forth between the two mares nervously. Rainbow was wearing a massive grin, while Twilight took the opportunity to study the floor of the train station.         “I like Twilight, and I love you.” Dash’s grin faded and she got serious. “I don’t want to have to hurt one of you girls by choosing between you. So, I think that all three of us should be together. It’ll be like one of those love triangles in Rarity’s lame, girly romance novels, but no one’s jealous and we’re all cool with it.” She nudged the earth pony with an elbow. “So, whaddya think?”         “Rainbow, this is a very serious issue. I’m sure that she’s going to need some time to think about it before she can give us an answer.” Twilight sat down next to Rainbow, putting a hoof on her shoulder. "I think you're drunk." She turned to Applejack and forced a smile. "I... You don't really have to consider it, I understand if you want to say no."         “Hey! Hic!” Dash leaned away from the alicorn, coming perilously close to falling over. “I am not drunk. Hic!” The hiccup knocked her off balance and she fell over. She looked around, as if wondering why she was lying on the ground now. “Well, I’m not that drunk.”         “Thanks, sugarcube.” Applejack smiled weakly, then looked away. She opened her mouth to speak again, but a shrill whistle cut through the air before she could. A few seconds later, their train pulled into the station. She looked over to her friends. “Guess it’s time to head home then, huh?” Twilight and Dash nodded, the latter yawning in the process, and they all boarded the train, grabbing seats in an empty car. Rainbow hopped up on a seat next to Applejack and looked at Twilight, patting the empty spot next to her, but the alicorn opted instead to sit on the opposite bench, facing the couple. A few moments later, the train lurched into motion, headed back toward Ponyville. Silence reigned among them, with Applejack and Twilight both deep in their own thoughts while Rainbow quietly enjoyed being buzzed. As the scenery rolled by outside, Dash leaned more and more heavily against her marefriend, eventually falling asleep with her head resting on the earth pony’s shoulder.         Applejack smiled down at her marefriend, leaning down to plant a kiss on her forehead, then turned back to Twilight. “So, what do we do now, sugarcube?”         “I… don’t know.” Twilight looked away from the stars she’d been watching and met her friend’s gaze. “While what Dash is suggesting is… uncommon, it’s not completely unheard of. Though, you’d have to go back—”         “Twi.” Applejack cut across the alicorn’s academic rambling. “That ain’t what Ah meant, and you know it.”         “I know, it’s just…” Twilight’s wings rustled uncomfortably on her back. She looked back to the window, focusing on her reflection. Her eyes darted up to her crown. “I don’t want you to feel pressured to say yes because of who I am. I know that you girls are all good about treating me the same as before… all of this happened—” She lifted a gold-shod hoof and fluttered her wings. “—but I still don’t want you to be worried about the fact that you’re rejecting Princess Twilight if you don’t want to do it.” She turned away from the window again. “I… think I would like to try it, but only if you’re okay with it.” She gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Take all the time you need to think about it…” She dropped her gaze to her hooves. “That is… if you want to think about it.”          “Thanks, sugarcube.” Applejack smiled back. Next to her, Dash shifted and snuggled further up against the earth pony. “Ah’ll… think about it. Ah can’t promise anythin’ more’n that.” The alicorn smiled and nodded, then they both drifted back into silence as the train raced across the countryside. Before long, it rattled into Ponyville, the brakes screeching and whining as it slowed in front of the train station. Twilight helped Applejack move the sleeping pegasus onto her back, and they exited the train.         Twilight looked up at the moon for a moment, gauging its progress across the sky. “It’s pretty late, Applejack. You and Rainbow are more than welcome to spend the night at the library so that you don’t have to walk all the way back to Sweet Apple Acres.” A gust of wind blew her mane across her face, and she had to stop for a moment to spit a few strands out of her mouth. “I can sleep on the couch while you two take the bed.         “Thank ya kindly, sugarcube, but we’ll be fine.” Applejack rolled her shoulders, trying to move Dash into a more comfortable spot on her back. The pegasus responded with an ear-splitting snore. “‘Sides, Ah wouldn’t want this one keepin’ ya up all night. But, thank ya again fer the offer.”         “Well, if you’re sure, then…” Twilight trotted over and extended a wing, but paused when she realized she couldn’t quite get her wing over Rainbow’s sleeping form. “Goodnight.”         Applejack leaned over and pressed her lips to Twilight’s in a simple, chaste kiss. She felt the alicorn tense up for a moment before ever so slightly leaning into it. After a few seconds, the earth pony pulled back, smiling when she saw Twilight’s confused expression. “Just felt like the right thing to do.” She said simply. “Anyway, night, Twi.”         “Night.” Twilight watched Applejack walk away, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. When the other mare, and her sleeping companion, disappeared around a bend in the road, Twilight leapt into the air and did a quick flip. Her crown slipped from her head, and the had to scramble and grab it with her magic to keep it from landing in the dirt. She clutched it to her chest and flew back to the library, the ember of hope from before burning bright in her chest.         Two Weeks Later         Applejack rolled over in bed and pulled the covers tighter around herself. The sun peeked in the window, barely coming up over the trees outside, but she pointedly ignored it. She and Dash had gotten in late last night, or incredibly early that morning, and she’d already let Big Mac know that she was going to be getting a late start on her chores. She tried to settle back down in bed, but a delicious aroma wafted up from the kitchen and caused her stomach to growl.         Grumbling to herself, she threw back the covers and half-tumbled out of the bed. Following the scent that had woken her up, she trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Dash was waiting at the table. “How’re you up so early, sug’?”         Rainbow shrugged. “I used to stay up that late all the time before we got together, I’m used to it. Also, coffee.” She lifted a mug and took a sip of the life-giving liquid, then motioned to a similar mug on the other side of the table. “Already made you a cup. One sugar and a dash of milk, just like you like it.”         Applejack picked up the steaming cup and took a deep whiff of the heavenly aroma. “Thanks, sug’.” She mumbled before taking several large gulps. She sat down at the table and was about to take a bite of the stack of pancakes that had been waiting next to her coffee when the door opened.         “Morning, girls.” Twilight stepped through the doorway, gently kicking the door shut behind her. She trotted over to the table and leaned in to give Rainbow a kiss on the cheek, but the pegasus pulled away, playfully evading the alicorn for a few moments. Eventually, Dash moved forward and captured Twilight’s lips in a kiss. Once they separated, Twilight moved around the table and gave Applejack a quick kiss as well.         “Mornin’ to you too, Sparky.” Applejack went to take a sip of her coffee, but jumped when a wing swatted her on the flank. She turned to the alicorn, who was giving her a deadpan ‘you know I don’t like it when you call me that’ look. “Sorry, darlin’, did ya sleep well last night?”         “Well enough, given what time we got in.” Twilight used her magic to prepare a cup of coffee for herself from the table. Once she had it in her hooves, she turned to Dash. “Say, Rainbow, is Rarity talking to you again, or is she still mad about the dress?”         “Dunno.” Dash shrugged. “I haven’t seen her in the last couple days. Though, last time I saw her, she did throw a spool of thread at my head… so I’m gonna go with ‘still mad.’”         “Somethin’ the matter, darlin’?” Applejack raised an eyebrow at Twilight. “Yer wings are rustlin’ around like a couplea rats in a burlap sack.”         Twilight glanced back at her treacherous wings, then huffed. “Well, I went out to get the paper this morning and… see for yourself.” She lifted a wing and reached under it, pulling out a rolled up newspaper. She tossed it on the table and let it unroll to the front page. Both of her marefriends leaned over to get a better look, and Rainbow immediately burst out laughing.         “Well…” Applejack sat back in her chair, spearing a bite of pancake with a fork. “We knew this sorta thing was gonna happen eventually.” She glanced back down at the paper, which featured a large photo of the three of them leaving a restaurant in Canterlot the previous night. Twilight was in the middle with a wing draped over each of her marefriends. A large black headline stood out above the picture.         Scandal Erupts in Canterlot as Equestria’s Newest Princess Forms a Herd!