//------------------------------//
// Prince Prick 
// Story: A Whole New World 
// by Van50608 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 33 Prince Prick 

Ok I've twiddled my hoofs, drawn 10 pictures, messed with the pony in front of me, and broke 7 pencils. I'm bored out my mother fucking mind. I need something to do. What can I do in this boring court room? Wait Grant, Jacob, Graham, and Michael still need to be Trixie's bitch for a day. I say to Luna "Hold on I need to make a call real quick."

She says "Alright just make it quick."

I walk out to call Grant I quickly dial and say "Hey guess who get wants to be Trixie's Bitch to today?"

He sighs and says "Godamnit  I forgot about gotta call up my homie ghost rider and get Trixie back from hell." 

I say "Alright I will get Elliott to make sure that you guys actually do it."

All I hear over the phone next was a long "FFUUUUCCCCKKK."

I say "That's right you bastard your going to do it and your probably not like it."

He says "Alright I'll see you at the end of the day. Also where the flying fuck did you go?" 

I reply "Canterlot."

He says "You gonna get some?"

I reply "Awww hell yeah!"

I say "Alright dude I gotta go. Business to do. See ya!"

He says "Alright see ya." and hangs up the phone. 

On the way back to the court room I see Prince Prick the second himself. Yelling at a waiter over some damn boiled egg or something.

 I walk over to him and ask "Is there a problem here?" 

He replies "Yes! This piece of uncouth filth has ruined my lunch!"

I look over to the egg and say "Dude it looks fine."

He says in his super fucking annoying sarcastic voice "This is not fine this mare undeserving of life forgot the Ala de la précis on my egg she should be fired for this dire mistake!"

I turn to the mare to see that she is crying. That's where I steeled my voice and  said  sternly.  "Blueblood you will eat this egg and apologize to this mare Immediately!"

He says "No."

I say "Well I would punch you as hard as I could, but where I come from we don't hit little girls."

He says with a snide smile "Well at least my frist marefriend wasn't gay."

I lost all control I teleport to the house and grabbed  a double-action Smith & Wesson Model 29 500-cal. Magnum revolver of my dresser. The 500 Cal  is the most powerful handgun in the world and fires bullets the size of my middle finger and then some.Then teleported back to Blueblood and said "Apologize. Now." 

I get the same answer as last time so I proceed to shoot a warning shot in the air. The blast from it shatters windows in the cathedral ,and this fucker still remains unfazed. Ok here's where shit hits the fan I blast off Half of his horn with a loud bang. Then  pop a shot into both of his knee caps. And finally  smash the bud of my gun into the side of his head effectively knocking him out cold . I then go on clean up and magic him to the infirmary with a sticky note that explains that he borrowed on of my guns ,and shot his horn along with both of his knee caps.

I walk up to the mare and ask "Are you alright? 

She says "Yes, I'm fine he just yelled at me a lot. I'm Starlight." and she extends her hoof. 

I take it in a firm shake and say "Hello I am Prince Van."

She instantly releases my hoof and bows. Honestly Im pretty freaked out because I don't like all the royalties and snobby people that come with dating a Princess. I say "Please don't bow. I am more a friend than a Prince."

She ask "So will you get in trouble for what you did to Blueblood?"

I reply "Nah, he defiantly had it coming. Besides I think I've done worse. Remember when he had to go to jail for a good month or two?"

She said "Yeah that was when the castle was actually quiet for a month!"

I say "Yeah that's because I kicked him off a bridge, but he came out later and challenged me to a dual. To where he had the unfair advantage of armor. Therefore he was arrested for armored assault."

She looked at me like I just walked on water. In other words she was absolutely dumbfounded that such a magnificent feat had been achieved. That somepony could counter and stand up for the ponies that could fight back against his dreadful oppression. And they thought Celestia was bad. Jesus this guy makes her look like twenty saint Mary's. She asks "So you wont get in trouble for best well....Um beating the shit out of him?"

I reply "No because he is a cousin of Celestia and I am Luna's Stallionfriend. Therefore since I am Celestia's brother in law I am Blueblood's Uncle which is ironic because he is two years older than me. Oh well."

"Well that's is very ironic." she said as we were walking back to the courtroom.

When we got to the door I said "Thank you for leading me back here. We're going have to talk again sometime."

She nodded her head and I proceeded to walk into the court room which earned me a few looks from the ponies in the jury. I take my seat next to Luna and when the court resumes the she says "Where have you been its been nearly an hour!"

I say "It's a long story. Let me fill you in. It all started when I saw Blueblood yelling at the cook Starlight.

Meanwhile back in Ponyville.....

"So you have to do EVERYTHING that the Great and Powerful Trixe tells you to." 

"Yes I believe so. Just nothing lethal" Elliott replied.

"Trixie believes she is going to have a lot of fun today."

To Be Continued