//------------------------------// // Severed Heart, United Hearts, and A Bottle of Cider // Story: Pirates of Equestria: Dead Stallion's Chest // by The Phantom Joker //------------------------------// Isla Cruces- 1465 A lone ship approached the island. It was The Flying Dutchman, rumored to be cursed with the Plague and unable to make port because of it. In reality, it was a ship meant to ferry the souls of those who died at sea to the next life. At the helm was a unicorn stallion with a purple coat and a green mane and tail wearing a black coat held together by a large belt, black pants, a large black hat,, and black boots on his hind legs. This was Spike Jones. At last... 10 years I've served my duties for her... and now, we can be together... me and my Calypso... me and my Zecora... thought Spike as the ship pulled onto the shore and he disembarked. But, there was no one there. What the...? thought Spike. "Calypso! I'm here! Where are you? Calypso? Zekora?" called Spike. But, even thought he searched until sunset, Spike couldn't find Calypso... A few months later... "Argh!" cried Spike. Calypso had been imprisoned in her pony form by the Brethern Court using the Nine Pieces-Of-Whatever-We-Had-In-Our-Pockets-At-The-Time. Spike had suggested something better like Pieces of Eight, but the Brethern was happy with their name. Using his unicorn magic to manipulate an enchanted knife, Jones was in the process of cutting out his own heart. A few painful moments later, Spike held his heart in his hand... before he suddenly became overwhelmed by pain... The shadow on the wall changed from that of a pony to one of a dragon. 300 years later... It was raining at Port Royal. The tea cups were overflowing as sheet music blew around. Cadence Mi Amore, soon to be Cadence Sparkle, stood under the stone roof of the church... Meanwhile... Longboats were rowing to shore as soldiers from the East Equestria Trading Company stormed the shore, followed by their leader, a unicorn mare witha sky-blue coat and a white mane and tail wearing a black coat, black pants, black boots, a white-and-gold vest, and a dark blue three-pointed hat. The soldiers broke down the door to the local blacksmith and arrested the white unicorn with a dark blue mane and tail wearing an old-fashioned baby blue suit and boots, before they brought him to the church. Cadence ran up to her groom, Shining Armor. "Why is this happening?" she asked him. "I don't know... you look beautiful," said Shining Armor. "You know, it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding," said Cadence. "Out of my way! Let me through!" yelled an older male voice. It belonged to a older red stallion who resembled Cadnece, but was blocked by the soldiers. "How dare you! Stand your soldiers down at once! Do you hear me!?" the stallion barked at the unicorn mare. The mare turned around. "Governor Romeo Mi Amore, it's been far too long," she said. "Trixie Lulamoon?" said Governor Mi Amore. "Actually, it's 'Lady Trixie Lulamoon,'" said Trixie. "Lady or not, you have no reason and no authority to arrest this stallion," said Governor Mi Amore, gesturing at Shinig Armor. "Actually, I do. Mr. Mercer?" said Trixie. An black earth pony stallion that was dressed in black gave Trixie a piece of parchment. "The warrent for the arrest of one Shining Armor Sparkle," said Trixie, levitating the parchment over to Governor Mi Amore. Reading the parchment, Governor Mi Amore's jaw dropped. "Th-this warrent is for Cadence Mi Amore!" he said. "Really? Whoopsies, my bad, arrest her," said Trixie nonchalantly. "On what charges?!" said Cadence as soldiers put shackles on her. "No!" said Shining Armor. "Aha! Here's the one for Shining Armor," said Trixie, giving the right one to Governor Mi Amore. "And I have another one for a Miss Lightning Dust, is she present?" "What are the charges?!" demanded Cadence. "Commodore Dust resigned her comission some time ago. Some kind of incident with a hurricane, I believe," said Governor Mi Amore. "That's not the answer to the question I asked," said Trixie. "Lady Lulamoon, while we're in the category of questions not answered..." said Shining Armor. "We are under the jursitiction of Celestia's governor of Port Royal, and you will tell us what we are charged with," said Cadence. "The charge... is 'conspiring to free a pony convicted of crimes against the crown and empire, and condemed to death, for which the...'" read Governor Mi Amore aloud, before a look of horror fell across his face. "For which the punishment, unfortunately, is also death," said Trixie. She approached Cadnece and Shining Armor. "Perhaps you recall a certain pirate by the name of Rainbow Dash." "Captain," said Shining Armor and Cadence. "Captain Rainbow Dash," said Cadnece, fessing up. "Captain Rainbow Dash. Yes, I figured you might," said Trixie. ~ Out on the waters near a Saddle Arabian prison floated a galleon with patched-up black sails. This was The Black Pearl. On the deck was an orange Earth Pony mare wearing a tan cowboy hat, a dark blue vest, dark blue pants, black bell-bottomed boots on her hind legs, and a flask around her neck. Her name was Applejack, and she was singing: "Fifteen stallions on a Dead Stallion's Chest. Yo ho ho, and a bottle of cider. Drink, and Hades, had done for the rest. Yo ho ho, and a bottle of cider." Applejack laughed as she took a swig from her flask. A bell rang at the prison as guards dragged a new, frightened-out-of-his-mind, prisoner in while crows ate a few of the other prisoners alive. Meanwhile, a few guards were tossing wooden coffins into the ocean. A crow landed on one of the coffins. I wonder if there's any meat in this thing, it thought as it pecked the coffin, right before the lid was blasted open. A sky-blue hand holding a pistol poked out of the hole, before the rest of the pony, a Pegasus mare with a messy rainbow colored mane and tail wearing a black vest,a dark blue shirt, black pants, black bell-bottomed boots on her hind legs, a belt with a sword, a compass, and a pistol holster on it, and a necklace with a rusty lightning bolt pendant. Captain Rainbow Dash reached into the coffin and grabbed her dark brown, three-pointed hat. "Sorry about this," said Rainbow before she ripped the leg off the pony skeleton inside the coffin and using it as an ore. "Say, you wouldn't mind if we made a little side trip, would you?" With a smirk she added, "I thought not." Rainbow rowed the coffin over to The Black Pearl. She flew up to the deck and handed Applejack the leg. "Not exactly according to plan," said Applejack. "Problems came up, ensued, were resloved," said Rainbow as she put on a black overcoat. "You got what you were after, then?" asked Applejack. "Uh-huh," said Rainbow, showing Applejack an old piece of cloth. She was quickly greeted by her unhappy-looking crew. "Captain, the crew, myself included, were expecting something a bit more... shiny. What with the Isla De Murta going pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it," said Applejack. "And the Equestrian Navy chasing us all over the seas," said a dark brown Earth Pony stallion named Leech. "And let's not forget the hurricane," said an orange Pegasus filly with a pink mane and tail named Scootaloo. Most of the crew said "Aye" in agreement. "Point is, it seems like it's been some time that we've done some honest pirating," said Applejack. "'Shiny?'" said Rainbow. "Aye, shiny," said Applejack. "So, this is how you're feeling? Dear old Rainbow Dash isn't serving your best interest as captain?" said Rainbow. "Brawk, walk the plank!" said a parrot that served as the voice of a mute Earth Pony stallion named Cotton Fluff. Rainbow Dash pulled out her pistol. "What'd that bird just say?!" she snarled. "Don't blame the bird. Show us what's on that piece of cloth there," said Leech. Before Rainbow could respond, an undead monkey skeleton named Dash swiped the cloth. "Thanks a bunch!" said Dash. Rainbow tried to shoot Dash with her pistol, but it was out of powder. So, she grabbed a crewpony's pistol and shot him. "Ow!" said Dash as he dropped the cloth and scampered off. "You know that doesn't do any good," said Applejack. "It does me. Plus, it helps me keep my aim sharp," said Rainbow. Scootaloo picked up the cloth. "It's a key!" she said. "No, it's way better than that!" said Rainbow as she took the cloth from Scootaloo and showed it to the crew. "It's a drawing of a key." The crew stared at the drawing. "Fillies and Gentlecolts... what is it that keys do?" said Rainbow. "Keys... unlock things?" said Leech. "And whatever we need to unlock must have something valuable, so we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks," said Applejack. "No. If we don't have the key or what we need to unlock, then how are we going to unlock what we need to unlock?" said Rainbow. "So, we're going after the key?" said Applejack. Rainbow sighed. "All right, in plain Equestrian this time. We're going after both the key and what we need to unlock. Now, are there any more questions?" she said. "So... do we have a heading?" asked Scootaloo. "Ah, yes, a heading," said Rainbow, pulling out her compass. However, much to Rainbow's dismay, the needle spun around all over the place. "Set sail in a... thata-way direction," said Rainbow, pointing in a general direction in relation to the compass. "Uh... Captain?" said Applejack. "Come on, snap to and make sail you know how this works, out of my way," said Rainbow as she made her way to the Captain's Quarters. Scootaloo and Applejack looked over the railing in the direction Rainbow had pointed. "Applejack, have you by any chance noticed lately that Captain Rainbow Dash has been acting a bit strange...er," said Scootaloo. "Yeah... setting sail without knowing her own heading. Something's got Rainbow vexed, and if it's one thing I know it's that what bodes ill for Rainbow Dash bodes ill for us all," said Applejack.