//------------------------------// // I AM NOT A ROBOT // Story: My Best Friend, Applejack // by Princess Cassandra //------------------------------// Saturday February 8th AJ's going to ask Rarity out. I'm done. DONE! I LOST! I never lose ever and I won't........................ I would tell you my plan diary but I won't.................................. (Dramatic effect). TUNTUNTUN Watch out Rarity......................... Monday February 10th 4 days until death day So I was practising in the gym, when Billy comes up to me and asks me to the dance Friday. I said no of course. I hate that kid. Total douche bag. I have my plan to woo Applejack and get her to LOVE me. LOVE ME! Because even though I love Applejack, her taste in women could be better. Gag at the thought of her and Rarity together. I think I puked a bit. Got to go Dash (The one and only.) Wednesday February 12th Plan is underway. Step 1- Tell Fluttershy that I'm into girls and that Iam really in love with Freckles like AJ. Complete That was awkward; she tried to hug me and gave me a speech. I love her but I didn't want to have that conversation with her because it's lame. Step 2- Convince Flutters to help me with my plan. That was easy enough but she didn't know the plan. Step 3- Burn the school to the ground That's where we had difficulty. In my opinion the plan was flawless; there'd be no dance and no school. But Fluttershy was all like's illegal. Bullshit .Flutters sucks at time. Now, I don't what to do. I can't let RariJack happen (ship name me and Shy thought of.). I guess I need to change my plan. DASH Thursday, February 13 Big day for the Apple family. I go down to the farm I enter yelling; I'm home! Which I thought was funny. Then I saw someone one the couch, well two. Big Mac and someone I couldn't see at the moment. They were making out. So I ran to AJ’s room. Only to see my worst nightmare. Rarity was in the room, with her tongue in Apples' mouth. They were on her bed, it was heated. Rarity stared at me. I ran out. I finally saw who Big Mac was with. Fleur Dis Lee! Wow, opposites sure do attract in the Apple family home. I'm home now. I'm crying the manliest of tears and I have Flutters on the phone. She's crying. At least she didn't see it with her own eyes. It really hurts. I'm here alone and I'm consoling Flutters. Flutters fell asleep. She came over. Her mom is coming to pick her up soon. I'll let her sleep then. I'm half-debating if I should text AJ. Oh Nah. I'm so embarrassed. Applejack and Rarity must be laughing at me right now. I can't show myself tomorrow. Did they see me tear up? Fuck...... I can't believe I cried. I hate crying. Once I start crying, I just start crying for everything wrong in my life. Oh shit, Fluttershy is waking up. Gtg bye Rainbow Dash :( Thursday, February 14th Valentine's Day: I'm getting ready for the school dance. * sigh*. I wouldn't go if I hadn't promised Pinkie. So today, AJ picked me up at my front door. We walked together, she apologized for yesterday. She didn't see me tear up. That's good. We got to school. We got attacked by Pinkie Pie with confetti. She gave us chocolate. Janitor Discord gave principal Celestia some flowers. Fluttershy gave him a card. He seemed happy. Fluttershy seemed good. Maybe because of that letter she got from a mysterious boy/girl. Rarity avoided us today. She must feel weird around me and Applejack now. That was my day. Applejack is super determined to ask Rarity out now. Ugh. Applejack, move on! Geez, Rarity should die in a hole. Going to dance is going to suck. Someone always spikes up the punch. Then someone ends up pregnant! Well, I'm going to go now. Wish me luck! Rainbow Dash (who hates life and everyone) Friday, February 15th 1:34 am Since we have a day off today I can sleep when I want! I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me. Whoopee! So I'm home from the dance! I'm in love! I'm in love! I met my one and only! She's called Applej- Syke! I'm over that girl. I met someone ten times better tonight! Sunset Shimmer! Boom! What?!? Yah, we had some drinks and talked all night! We made out. She's in my bed. Sleepover!! We're going to play Monopoly! It's going to be grea- 1:56 pm Hey, well someone did spike up the punch. Sunset Shimmer is still here. She's watching TV. She still won't look at me in the eyes. She told me that she was sad and confused and that she's sorry for this. I could just die. I'm thanking all the gods that my dad slept over at my uncles. Well you can probably guess what happened. I still can't believe it. I love Applejack, what am I doing? I hear footsteps. Be right back. 3:42 pm Guess who had a make out session with a certain Sunset Shimmer! This girl! I turned her gay. She’s really into me now. She's pretty hot too. So if I date her, it's a win-win situation. I'll get over AJ, she can be with Rarity. And she'll be happy. And truthfully, that's all I want for AJ. So now Sunset Shimmer is my girlfriend .I guess I should be happy. Even though she was a total bitch, she is extremely hot and a good kisser. She's cool now too. I thought of AJ most of our make-out session. Am I a bad person? Saturday, February 16th My dad has a job which keeps him far from home most of the time so I usually go out and chill with my friends but a certain girlfriend of mine came over -_-. She wanted some Dash. So she had some. She basically jumped on me and pushed me on the floor. I would have slapped her but she pinned me to the floor. And started kissing me. And I have said this before she's extremely good at that. Then we talked and stuff. She helped me with my math homework. Then she pinned me again. She's taking a nap next to me. She's crazy. But crazy for me. This has to be better than chasing after someone who doesn't love me back. Right? Ugh, high school crap. I want to wake her up, but she'll probably want to make out so I won’t. OH MY GOD, APPLEJACK TEXTED ME! SHE WANTS TO CHILL! Just us. Just US! I want to! God knows I do! But I can't, I got a girl in my bed. This plan is not starting well. I'm going to watch TV now. Stay cool, Dash Sunday, February 23th 12:46 am Apples is sleeping next to me (Is my Bed THAT comfortable? It's becoming a pattern or something.). So I was at home, when someone knocks on the door, but who would come over? It was fucking rainy. I open the door when I see AJ. She was sad in the rain. She was soaking! It was strangely attractive but not the point. She was really sad. I told her to come in, she told me what was wrong. You know that AJ's been wanting to ask Rares out for a long time (even though they already made out.), well Freckles finally asked her. She said no and that if she did go out with AJ she would be hurting someone else. AJ was really sad, she looked she was going to cry. I hated seeing her like that. But then she was pissed. Saying things like: Rarity is a selfish hoe! Who kisses someone and says it didn't mean anything!! Fuck Rarity! Then she was sad again. Apparently they had beautiful moments together; they went on some "dates". But they were never really dating. And I thought: Wow, obviously they could have been something. They sounded pretty in love of what I heard. Then AJ fell asleep. I put her in my bed and called Big Mac and told them AJ was sleeping over. Then I went out. Was it ok to leave AJ? Maybe but she was sleeping, so it's all good. I went over to Rarity's. I was pissed. No one makes my AJ feel like crap. Especially Rarity, one of her best friends. I walk in the boutique god dawm door. She was standing there. She was surprise. "Oh Rainbow Dash. What a pleasant surprise!" she said with the most fake smile ever. "Cut the crap, Rarity! What the fuck is wrong with you? You know what? AJ is depressed because you rejected her. Even after all those moments you had! Who does that? You're lucky enough to even have as a friend. Having her as a girlfriend was a one-time opportunity. You blew it! You blew it." Did I exaggerate? Fuck no. What she said next was the kicker: “You’re in love with Applejack." How the fuck did she find out? "Um, no." "Rainbow Dash, sweetheart, yes you are. I saw you when you walked in on me and Applejack." "Oh..." "Then I started putting the puzzle together. The fight with Soarin, how you always stared at her and right now. You're defending her. Am I right?" "..." "Yes! I do have an eye for these types of things." "Well I'm dating someone else now. So I'm going to go now. " As I was leaving, I heard her giggling. She doesn't believe me. Oh god, she knows! Oh my! What will I do when Sunset tells them we're dating! Oh no! This is going to go extremely bad. Well that's future RD's problem. Right now's RD's biggest problem is whether she should draw a mustache on AJ. I'm doing it! (It's my revenge from dare night at Rarity's) Rainbow Dash( the awesome) Still Sunday, February 23th Apples left. We had fun. We woke up in the morning; it was weird (at least for me). We were in the same bed, like multiple sleepovers before, it just felt awkward today. If Rarity knows, would she have told AJ? Freckles woke up and tried to murder me once she saw the mustache. She went to the bathroom, she came back, jumped on me, took my pillow and tried to suffocate me. We just laughed and laughed after. My dad made pancakes, his specialty, and left us alone by going down stairs. We want back to my room and just talked. What I love about our friendship is that we can talk about anything. I love that. Then this happened: “The heck were yah last night?" "Here!" "RD, Ah woke up last night and I heard u leave. I really thought I slept that long?" "Yeah." "Where the heck did you go?" "Nowhere!" "Rainbow Dash!" "Rarity's!" No point fighting with her, I've seen what she can do! “RAINBOW!" She jumped on me again. When I pinned her down on my bed, I told her that I went because I was defending her. "Dash, I'm a big girl now. Ah don't yah defending me!" "Listen you're my best friend and I love you. You're stubborn but I really do. And I won't let people hurt you. Not anyone. You're amazing! Don't think otherwise just because of Rarity." And remember diary, I pinned her on my bed and we never got up. So for a long moment it was silence. I stared in her eyes as she stared in mine. And diary, I did the most epic thing anyone ever did in history! I leaned down and put my lips upon hers. It wasn't like the last time cause this time I was ready. It was just a sweet little kiss. She wrapped her arms around me and said: “Rainbow, I love you too,..." Oh my god, if she would have stopped there. But... "…You’re my best friend. Thank you for the kiss, it made me feel better. But yah really need to. I'm sorry for the trouble." She started packing, actually she looked nervous. As she left for the door, she turned around hugged me. And she kissed on the cheek, asked Fluttershy later on to ask AJ about our day. She said that AJ said that our kiss was like a friend kiss. And it was sweet of me. What the hell is a friend kiss? Like it didn't mean anything? AJ, you beautiful idiot! I'm laughing really hard now. Well she may not know it but that kiss meant the world! I KISSED AJ! FUCK YEAH!!!! That was for all the people who don't have the balls to kiss the crush! I think I'm going to do a flip now! RAINBOW DASH Monday, February 24th I asked AJ why she just walked out yesterday. She just said she had things to THINK about. What does that even mean? Dash Friday, February 28th Spring Break! This is going to be great! My dad has most of the week off. So tomorrow and they day after it's just me and him on snowboards! It's going to so AWESOME. The rest of the week is still undecided I could go with the girls or my dad. Then again not my problem right now. I have to pack we are going tonight to the chalet we rented. 3 hour drive, at least I'm with the coolest man on EARTH. No, the UNIVERSE! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS TRIP! Rainbow Dash (who will beat her dad in the slopes) Monday, March 3rd I had a great time at the chalet, I love hanging out my dad. He's like my favorite ever! He's such a clown. But my happiness was cut off when I found out my dad had a date tonight. His friend from work (who is now on my shit list) set him up with someone tonight. I, naturally, called AJ. We wore our spy suits (a black hoodie, some black leggings and running shoes (preferably black).). We followed him to the fanciest restaurant on the bloc (which is not that fancy ) and we spied on them. The lady was really pretty. She could pass for a model. She's a doctor and was really interested that my dad was a race car driver. Like she didn't recognize him, she's probably a gold digger. AJ thought I was being ridiculous. She knows my dad has what's left of his racing money away for my college education. But gold diggers know how to get the money. The lady was practically bragging. She was like: I went to college, I have a car, I have this, I can do this, etc. Poor dad, he probably pitied her that's why he kept laughing with her. He's laughing at you honey, not with you. What a slut! AJ dragged me out of the restaurant and told me it was wrong what we were doing. So we just walked back home. She left me at my door (what a gentleman!). She said that she was happy I called her but we shouldn't spy on my dad on a regular basis. As I entered my house she said that Rarity told her that the French or Dutch or whatever kiss each other on the cheek when they say goodbye. I said we should start doing that. She agreed! She says we should become more international. So she kissed me on the cheek as did I. I hope this becomes a thing! I'm waiting for my dad it's almost 10. Sunset is texting me. She wants to hang out this week. I have to at least try to be a mediocre girlfriend. I have to end it soon. DAD'S HOME!