Sweat trickled down his neck as he tried his utmost to remain calm. It wasn’t the fact that he was about to be face to face with Princess Celestia, the all powerful monarch of the land, that scared him most; he knew he would have to relieve that dreaded episode in order to feed her every single detail.
He inhaled deeply, to the point where it hurt, and held the air in. After slowly counting backwards from ten, he released it, hoping that all his fears would follow. It was all for naught, though, if the constant shaking of his forehooves was any indication. He was suddenly made aware of just how quiet the hallway that lead to the throne room was.
Is it always like this? he asked himself. So… dead? I thought the castle was always bustling with ponies. A sudden noise caught him off guard, making him jump from his seat and give an wide-eyed look towards its source.
“Her Majesty, Princess Celestia, will see you now,” the guard said, eyes always looking straight ahead. He wondered how these guards managed to remain stoic after such tragedy had befallen the kingdom. How is it that they manage to remain so neutral about all this?! He felt the disgust roaming through his guts. Followed closely by envy.
The pony sighed in defeat, got up from his seat and walked towards the throne room, head hanging low. He heard the royal guard stepping aside to give him passage, but he still didn’t dare look up. He approached the Princess until he was able to barely see her golden-clad horseshoes, and bowed.
“Please rise, my little pony.” The words were not commanding, but he could’ve sworn that there was a hint of apprehension in them. He remained still for a couple of seconds before obeying, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor.
Noticing this, Princess Celestia gave one step forward, stopping when she managed to detect nigh-imperceptible shudder. She swallowed dry and tried again, in her most amiable voice: “What’s wrong, Quick Fix?”
Hearing the princess address him by name made him slightly more at ease. His head turned upwards a bit, but he still didn’t have the courage to look her in the eye. “I guess I’m just… nervous.”
“I’m terribly sorry if I seem imposing.”
“Well, although I am a bit nervous about this meeting, what really scared me is… well, you know.” He finally looked into her eyes, desperately seeking comfort; something she was happy to provide.
“I know it must be very hard,” she said, trying her best to not sound condescending, “I won’t lie and say that I understand what you’ve gone through, but if there is a chance, even dismal, that getting it out of your chest would help, wouldn’t you consider it?”
He pondered about what the Princess said for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn’t help but think that she was just smooth-talking him into giving her the information, but he also couldn’t dismiss her benevolence outright. In the end, what she said did make sense; even though it would be a nightmare and a half remembering it, getting it out of his chest would be a step towards finally confronting his problems.
He sighed.
“Well, how do you want me to say it?”
“Start from the beginning, my little pony. Then we’ll go from there.”
“Well, I work as a technician for Galvan’s Pipes. Our company is tasked with the construction and maintenance of gas lines. Our biggest clients are the industries, but we also have a department for domiciliary lines. My department, to be specific.
“It was a pretty normal day, still early in the morning, until my boss came in and told me something about a complaint about an entire town being affected by some problem. I didn’t pay much attention to it, other than that detail. He tasked me with finding out the problem and trying to fix it if possible. If not, I was to report to him ASAP. You know how gas prices are.” She nodded.
“Since my friend, Nickel Wrench, was the only one around at that time besides me and my boss, we were both tasked to handle the situation. So we took the train to Ponyville and—”
“It never crossed your mind about what you could be facing? That it would be prudent to ask the police or royal guards for help?” He didn’t seem to be annoyed by the interruption.
“You have to understand that even though we knew she was in Ponyville, gas leaks are a pretty common thing, Your Highness. It is still a new commodity, making the technology to harness and transport it far from perfect. I honestly thought this would be an everyday occurrence.
“We arrived shortly after in the town and went straight to the Mayor. She spoke about the situation but never gave us any crucial information. So we headed to the main line and measured the flow from the first bifurcation and followed the path that had an inconsistent flow. We spent nearly three hours doing so, until we… arrived…”
Celestia noticed the long pause and how his body quivered. She allowed him a few moments to compose himself.
“When we first got there, we thought that we had made a mistake, since the place seemed abandoned. We were too tired to go back and take more measurements, so we figured that we might as well just take a look around, since nopony was around. Just to be sure, we both put our gas masks on. This is when Nickel spotted a broken window on the side of the house.
“I didn’t think anything of it, since any bored kid could’ve had broken it. I wouldn’t be surprised to find graffiti on the walls either. I guess that when I look at it now, with the knowledge of what happened, it was pretty obvious. Still, I merely shrugged and waited for Nickel to fit his gas mask.
“We slowly open the door, trying our best to avoid any sort of friction that could create a spark. It was then that I was sure the place was abandoned; the living room was in total disarray. Every table and sofa had been turned over or simply fell prey to time, mold or termites. I wait him to pick the L.R. and the H.R. marker papers from his bag before carrying on.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt once more, Quick Fix, but what is the purpose of these two papers?”
“They are reagents, Your Highness. Both of them have been stained with a chemical marker that makes the paper turn brown when there’s gas in the house. We usually take two, one with a bigger concentration of reagent, which we call L.R., and one with a smaller concentration, which we call H.R.. The L.R. marker will turn brown at any presence of gas. The H.R. marker will only do so if the gas concentration is too high. We use the latter to both avoid entering houses with a high risk of explosion and to, in houses with a small leak, help us find the source of the leak.
“Since only the L.R. marker turned to brown, we both ventured inside. Nickel takes the lead, eyes fixed to the H.R. marker, since we didn’t hear the sound of a leak. At one point he turned to me and told me that the H.R. marker started to change color. We followed the direction he was last facing and… and…”
“Go on, Quick Fix. I know it’s hard, but you must be strong.”
“We reached the kitchen. Nickel suddenly stopped, even though I could see the missing segment of the pipeline coming out the stove. I asked him what was wrong, but he didn’t reply. I walked up to him and… I’ll never forget the look on his face. His eyes were like pinpricks, Princess. He was literally half scared to death.
“I was starting to feel nervous too, because he wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I asked and asked, but he kept staring straight ahead. When I turned to look, trying to see what was wrong, I saw the blood. Oh Princess, there was so much blood…
“It was old, almost brown, and it had been dragged from outside, from what it looked like by the trail. I immediately felt a lump forming in my throat. I saw Nickel, now able to move again, clutching his belly with a hoof, coughing. I turn him around and try to calm him a bit. It takes a while, but he manages to breathe once more.
“He was scared and begged me to go, but I couldn’t, Celestia,” the pony says, begging, “I—I was curious! I couldn’t help myself.”
“Calm down, my little pony. You’re safe now. It’s all in the past.” Quick Fix took some deep breaths, calming down considerable.
“We followed the trail. It lead us to an odd-looking bookshelf. Nickel kept begging me to just go, but I needed to see it for myself. We kept looking at the many books until I heard a clicking sound. I turn to face my colleague and am able to see him holding a fake book, attached by some metal to the bookshelf.
“We both pull it open and feel the stench that came from below. Even through our gas masks I could feel it. It burned my nostrils and made the air heavy, as if the source of it came from inside my muzzle, tainting it from the inside. Nickel started coughing once more, so I silenced him with a hoof and told him to wait up there.
“He was more than happy to agree, and walked away from the bookshelf. I crossed the path, making sure to leave the secret passage open, and slowly walked downstairs. The cobble clapped lightly against my hooves, no matter how quiet I was. I think some part of me already knew what I’d find down there, but my body just kept going on and on.
“I eventually reached the end of the stairs and saw her. She was… humming. She was humming while she did… those things. The walls… they were painted with death. Organs and… and… and blood. It was… everywhere.”
Celestia closed her eyes whilst the pony kept describing the crime scene, trying to fight the mental images that his words brought to her. She had lived long, longer than anypony would be able to even comprehend, but the details he fed her disgusted her on a primal level.
“I... remember cringing when I first saw her, getting completely paralyzed. A part of me wanted to scream to Nickel for help. Another wanted her to pay. Pay for everything she did. Pay for everything she could do.”
”Really, you really saw Equestria’s most notorious killer and thought you could take her on?”
”Well, yes, she was limping, see? She looked like somepony trashed her up good, and I had the element of surprise on my side. Levitated a rock right to her coconut, she never saw it coming.
”The most notorious serial killer in all of Equestria, and you knock her out with a rock?”
”Well, she's just a normal pony after all, ain't she ma'am? To be fair, if she hadn't been roughed up before we even got there I doubt I'd be talking to you today. We tied her up with our best colt scout knots, there was no chance she'd struggle out of this. But...”
”But what?”
”But then she woke up,” he said and shuddered.
”Go on.”
“Bitch can really talk, y'know? She talked about all the ponies she had killed, and that' when we saw…”
Celestia swallowed. “Saw what?”
”On the wall, there were two corpses... nailed to it. One of them, a mare, had the nail coming from her skull. There was a stallion and… and...
“And she had, like... painted with them. Oh, how do I even explain,” he shook his head, closing his eyes tightly, “she… she had gutted the both of them and the entrails just lied there under them. And that's not even the worst part, there wa—”
The massive throne room doors suddenly opened, cutting Quick Fix’s volley of words as he jumped around, looking with wide eyes towards the source of disruption. A servant walked nonchalantly towards Celestia and offered both her and Quick Fix a glass of water. The stallion drank it in a single gulp, gasping for air afterwards, and the servant promptly took his glass.
Celestia simply nodded to the servant, who left the golden tray with her glass by her side. Quick Fix noticed that her smile seemed to tug on her cheeks a little too much, though he refrained from commenting. Once they were both left with a bit more privacy, he slowly looked up to her and continued:
“The worst part was that they had a foal there! No, not even a foal, a fetus!” Her eyes instantly widened and, although she forced herself to contain her emotions, her stomach churned.
“Quick Fix, are… are you sure of what you’re saying?” Even though what he would say next mattered little, given that the complete report was already prepared for her perusal, she still hoped against hope that his words would be able to change what happened.
“I’m sure, Your Highness. She… she told me that herself. This is why… why I…”
“Why you broke her jaw, yes?” Quick Fix’s head dropped and he ducked his tail behind his hind legs. “Do not worry, my little pony. Given the circumstances, I can understand why you did it.”
“I—I just saw red. Everything became so distant when her explanation downed on me. Suddenly, the dried blood painted on the walls and floor weren’t important anymore. The smell faded away almost instantly, and the many… organs and pieces were just… gone. I just… I don’t… how could she? How could anypony do this?! This… this… barbarism! To end a life, before it even started! I… just lost it. And… no matter what I did she wouldn’t shut up! She just kept… speaking and giggling and taunting me! Daring me!”
“What happened then, my little pony?” He looked up upon hearing the soothing, calming words.
“She began to tell me… about everything. How they cried and how they tried to fight back. How they lost hope and how they tasted. She… she told me to try it, that I’d like it! That’s when I noticed that Nickel was gone. He left me there, alone with her.
“But… but she just kept talking and talking and talking! How the mother cried… when she took her baby from inside of her. And giggled after telling me that I spoiled the secret and… I just wanted her to shut the fuck up!
“I punched her again, but she just smiled back and turned the other cheek.” Celestia noticed how Quick Fix’s eyes were unfocused as he unleashed his memories. He spoke quickly, almost no pauses between words. “She told me to do her! Oh, I’ll do you alright, you bitch! I’ll fucking do you in, you… you monster”
“And then… and then I just put my hooves on her throat and squeezed. I wanted to crush her, to destroy her! Just… erase her from existence so she will never hurt anypony ever again!” He stopped, realizing that he was hyperventilating.
“I heard some noises coming from behind me, but before I could look, somepony had tackled me to the floor. I hit my head pretty hard on top of a puddle of blood, so my ears were buzzing for a while. When I came to, I saw Nickel trying to talk to me and some more distant sounds coming from everywhere around me. I tried to move, but all my hooves were cuffed.
“For a second I panicked, thinking that she, somehow, managed to overpower both myself and Nickel. But after I stopped thrashing, I saw a lot of ponies surrounding me. Some talking to each other and a couple taking photos of everything.
“My friend stopped trying to talk to me, so I just kept looking at the ponies in the room. There was one of them, a middle-aged bulky stallion with a moustache that was looking at… her mural. You know, the one with the couple and the…” he swallowed, “the foal. I just then noticed how the stallion nailed to the wall had a rusty pipe coming out of his head… and then it all fell into place.
“That was the missing pipe from the kitchen we had seen earlier! She must’ve been mad with this stallion, since he was one of the few in that room who had this… different treatment. He and the other two.”
“I see,” was all she could comment.
“Then I was levitated by a different officer. I remember asking him if I had done something bad, and he told me that the cuffs would come out when I had calmed enough. As we passed the front of the house, I saw the Royal Guard arguing with some officers, with her lying tied to a rolling bed behind them. I didn’t pay attention to what they were saying, since the last thing I saw before being placed inside a chariot was her winking at me.
“I spent a few days at the hospital, since they wanted to be extra sure I didn’t get hurt and, well, after that I was summoned here to speak with you, Your Highness.” He ended his tale with a bow.
Celestia could feel how this episode had hit one of her little ponies hard. And even though many of her beloved citizens had lost their lives to her, she couldn’t allow herself a single second to mourn. Her country, however, would. And she needed to be strong for them. She needed to help her citizens to reunite once more, especially now that there was only one Element of Harmony currently alive.
“Thank you for being strong for me, my little pony,” she said, touching her horn to his forehead. “I apologize for forcing you to relive it once more, but know that what you said will be of much importance to this country.”
She turned around and retreated to her chambers. Quick Fix was alive. And so were many, many others affected directly or indirectly by former Laughter. She would see it that all of them could get proper treatment for any issue that the whole ordeal would cause. After all, what is a government if not a tool to usher those it protects into prosperity and happiness?
She shook her head dejectedly; the healing would commence, but this particular scar would live on the nation’s face for generations to come. But—and as much as she hated to admit it, it was true—nopony was hurting more than her. It seemed that all the happiness had been drained from the kingdom.
Celestia came to a stop before a large vitriol that depicted six ponies. Six improbable friends who had bonded together and persevered in the face of danger multiple times. It was too much. Using her magic, she shut all the doors to the corridor and created a magical barrier around the whole room. Safe from everypony, Celestia spilled her heart to nopony; knelt down and cried.
Her pace, steady. Her mind, determined. Celestia knew she could push this issue back no longer. The time for her to act had long came and went, something that only served to further her guilt. No matter, for now this is the only thing on her mind. She walks through the dark hallway, paying no mind to the guards that unlock the doors and bow to her presence. Nothing seems as important at the moment.
Her hooves crash onto the cobble floor, shattering her neutral mask and revealing her true emotions. A final set of doors are opened, granting her passage. She walks through, and they are closed and locked behind her. Although bathed in complete darkness, she doesn’t need a moment of repose. She is prepared.
“Pinkamena Diane Pie!” Her voice echoes like thunder inside the wide rotunda. Though she knows what Laughter would think, this isn’t about intimidation.
The gas lamps turn on with the help of her magic. The form of a pink pony, strapped tightly by hooves and neck to a vertical bed. Celestia approaches, her steps still firm, until she’s two heads away from the small pony.
“So… you’ve finally came, huh?” she giggled, a sound that reverberated as sickeningly as it came out. “Well, what now?”