//------------------------------// // Loops 63 // Story: MLP Time Loops // by Saphroneth //------------------------------// 63.1 “Trix,” Chrysalis asked, holding up a photo album. “What's this?” “Oh, right. I was clearing out my subspace pocket.” Trixie shrugged, removing the last of the shaving foam from her cloak – the fog machine had malfunctioned in the performance earlier. “I think that's one of the albums I forgot to put back in, thanks.” “Who said I was letting you have it back?” Chrysalis stuck her tongue out, opening the book. She grinned at the first picture. “Ooh, I like that look.” “Give it back!” Trixie protested, then blinked as her marefriend showed her the photo. “Oh, yeah. That one was from the middle of my Ascension – in about two seconds after that I blast Nightmare Moon with five Starlight Breakers at once. Actually cured her.” “I've heard of that spell, but never actually seen it,” Chrysalis mused. “It's condensed love, right? Wonder what would happen if I were hit by it?” Trixie used the distraction to make a grab for the album. “Neh!” “Nope!” Chrysalis moved the album up another inch or so, and Trixie's hooves closed on air. “Let's see what else there is – oh my gosh you look so cute!” “What?” Trixie's heart sank. If it was the... It was. At some point in the past, Twilight had had a loop where she was an alicorn, and Trixie was her baby sister – also an alicorn. The photos had formed material for a semi-serious joking blackmail for many, many loops, until Trixie had finally secured the last one. But it was so cute, she hadn't had the heart to destroy it – so into her private collection it had gone. She was regretting that, with hindsight. Still grinning like a loon, Chrysalis turned over another page. “Who's this?” “Oh, that's Pony Stark. He and I had some fun times together...” Trixie smiled wistfully. “Before I met you, I hasten to say. But that pony could really party hard.” “I see.” Over the next half hour or so, an impromptu reminiscence session built up. Chrysalis went back to the start of the album and began to work through picture by picture, and Trixie explained the origin and meaning of each of the photographs. Some of them were gifts, including one that had the magical aura of an intense stasis spell which Twilight had taken the very first time Trixie had looped. Rather inevitably, the picture had a massive explosion as backdrop. (Perhaps less inevitably, the explosion seemed to be consuming Sombra's castle.) Eventually they reached the last few pages, which showed more familiar times. The first group photo with Chrysalis included, something which seemed to have come from a camera hidden in Pinkie Pie's mane – the two of them on an early date – and that time they'd both been psionicists on Oerth. The very last picture, though, was different. Chrysalis stared at it for several seconds, mouth agape. “What.” “Ah. Er...” Trixie blinked. “Whoah. Forgot about that one.” “What is in this picture?” Chrysalis asked, absently. “That would be you as Rita Repulsa, Sombra as Lord Zedd, and me as an evil Pony Ranger,” Trixie supplied. “Twilight told me about this variant, see, and I asked for a photo of me in the evil-pony-ranger get up next time she had it.” “Am I married to Sombra?” Trixie facehoofed. “Sure, focus on the fact they happen to be behind me... It's not like it was the only time that happened!” As soon as she'd said this, Trixie Lulamoon realized it had been a strategic error. “Why did I keep being married to Sombra?” Chrysalis asked, for the twelfth time. “I don't know, okay?” Trixie almost snapped. “Look, we're here now.” She knocked. After a few seconds, Cadence opened the door. “Hello, Trixie – ah. Chrysalis, I assume?” The jet-black pegasus nodded curtly. “Yes.” “There's something we'd like to ask, you see...” Trixie hedged. “Can we come in?” “By all means.” “I think I understand,” Cadence said finally. “You want to know why it was that, on these many occasions – I discussed it with Twilight back when you first awakened, Chrysalis, and I'm afraid it is 'many' – you were paired with the same pony.” “And, more to the point, a pony who is evil,” Chrysalis said. “And... not Trixie, really.” “I see.” Cadence fumbled in her subspace pocket for a few seconds. “Right, I think I may be able to answer your question.” The object she produced was like a disassembled orrery, made of hundreds of metallic balls and rings, and as she started pushing magic into it the components levitated into the air. “Wait...” Trixie looked apprehensive. “Isn't this the Dating Simulator?” “The mark five,” Cadence nodded. “Don't worry, it's mostly debugged – I fixed the valve problem, and it usually doesn't go prompt-critical anymore.” With those perhaps less than reassuring words, she began tapping the floating rings to arrange them into new shapes. “Should we run?” Chrysalis asked, sotto voce. “I don't think it would help,” Trixie replied candidly. “We might set it off.” “Let's see...” Cadence whistled to herself as she worked – a modified form of John Wellington-Welles. “Baseline Chrysalis, baseline Sombra... and go!” Lightning crackled, and something went parp. A sphere flashed blue, then green, and another went deep black. “Ah, there we go. Your baseline self and Sombra are indeed quite compatible, as ponies who have never met go.” Chrysalis winced. “What about... me now?” “Chryssy...” Trixie said quietly. “No, I want to know.” Cadence entered the new question. The thing which went parp, once again, went parp. A beam of light flashed over Chrysalis' form, making her jump, then the spheres changed colour again. “Nope.” Cadence examined a pattern of spheres hovering in front of her. “You're less compatible than with Blueblood.” Chrysalis let out a relieved sigh. “As for you two...” Cadence tapped a few more spheres, tapped one again, then kicked it. It bounced off the wall, emitted a cloud of smoke, and exploded. A new one flew into place to replace it, and the thing went parp. Again. At Trixie's raised eyebrow, Cadence blushed. “You just can't get the parts these loops. Anyway-” A beam of light hit Trixie, this time. Then half the array went pink. “Huh. Well, that's a good sign,” Cadence said with finality. “Congratulations, and have you reconsidered the marriage thing?” “We're fine without, thanks,” Trixie reiterated. Chrysalis seemed to be mulling something over. “So... why didn't you set me and Sombra up?” Cadence took her own time to think about that. “I might have done,” she said eventually. “But the first few loops, there was still that spectre of how nasty Sombra was in the slave-world loop. I mean, when you two are – or were – together, it was usually when you – and he in particular – were much less... well, evil. You were villains, but not evil for the sake of evil.” “I understand the distinction,” Chrysalis said. “Right. And when I was starting to think about it, Twilight took me aside and pointed a few things out to me.” Cadence sighed. “It was quite an effort of will, I must admit, to avoid getting involved – if only to keep you away from Shining. But Twilight told me that a real romance – especially for a looper – has to grow naturally. I've not always remembered that,” she admitted, wincing. “But it was certainly the right thing to do here.” “I'll say,” Trixie said softly, nuzzling the changeling queen. “One question.” Chrysalis pointed. “Shouldn't you turn that off?” Cadence followed her hoof, to see that the Simulator rings were revolving around one another faster and faster. The thing which went parp broke with tradition and went sproing. “Oh dear...” Cadence sighed. “Everypony down!” Something loud happened. “Feel better now?” Trixie asked, later that night. “A little.” Chrysalis shook her head, her mane drifting in the breeze. “It's still strange to contemplate, though.” “Yeah, I know.” They looked down at the ring-festooned towers of Canterlot castle. “It's nice to be able to have a fly once in a while,” Trixie ventured, trimming her pegasus wings against the currents. “Hey, maybe one of these days I'll borrow a photo from that time the normal Element bearers accidentally got married to Blueblood.” Chrysalis blinked. “What, all of them?” Nod. “Who has a photo of that?” Trixie grinned. “Angel Bunny. That lapine has quite the nose for embarassing moments...” 63.2 “You saved my life,” Spike said dumbly, blinking as the huge Timber Wolf ran off. Applejack shrugged. “Aw, shucks, weren't nothing.” “And according to the dragon code of honour, that means that you're my servant,” Spike continued. “Now, ah don't want- what.” The earth pony frowned suddenly. “That don't sound right.” Innocently, Spike held up a tablet. “It's all here, in gneiss and granite.” Applejack snatched it from him, and read the exquisitely formed words, her lips moving. “Well, don't that beat all. It really does say that.” “So,” Spike said, rubbing his claws together. “I've wanted to have someone else do the chores Twilight sets for years. At last! Free time!” Applejack grimaced. “Spike-” “It's a matter of honour, AJ,” Spike said earnestly. “That was just cruel, Spike,” Twilight admonished. Spike picked his teeth, sweeping his other hand in a grand gesture. “Yeah, but this way I think we can get a lesson out of it about not having to follow someone else's code of honour. Besides, I'm not just lazing around...” Twilight nodded, her gaze sweeping the freshly ploughed field – the third of the day. “Are you sure using the Force for this is within the Jedi code?” He shrugged. “It's probably fine. Hey, can you keep her busy until after dark? I want the whole 'did a year's farm work in a week' to stay secret for a bit longer...” 63.3 “Well, that went about as well as could be expected,” Twilight noted with a sigh. On the island disappearing behind the Jack of All Trades as it rose into the sky, the volcanic eruption seemed to be really getting going. “How did you pull this off, exactly?” she added, giving the visitors a look. “I said I was sorry,” Shade Slayer mumbled rebelliously. The blue dragon next to him rolled her eyes. “Okay,” Saphira began, taking a deep breath. “First off, we had a bit of a bad few loops. That's why we wanted this holiday.” “I understand the feeling,” Twilight nodded, and her voice softened. “And it was fun, the first week or so. But...” She pointed back at the volcano. With a muted whump, the airship captain engaged superheat, pulling them higher and further from the danger zone. “Right. This is going to sound ridiculous.” Saphira blushed. “You know that brewer pony?” “Berry Punch, yes,” Twilight confirmed. “What of her?” “She brewed us something which, in her own words, 'had a bit of kick to it'.” Twilight got a sinking feeling. “We each got a glass, downed them, and then for some reason this twit here decided it might be interesting to see if he could make a volcano erupt.” “Never say Brisingir too loudly,” Eragon informed them. “Why didn't you stop him?” Twilight asked reasonably. The blue dragon blushed deeper. “I was too busy examining my own claws in minute detail.” “Right.” Twilight nodded. “Well, fortunately I managed to teleport us all up to the airship in time – well, except Spike and Celestia.” She pointed at the most recently forming pyroclastic flow. Two shapes, one purple and one white, could be faintly seen atop it. “This is fun!” Celestia announced, the sound of rocks on her tungsten-carbide surf board sounding like hail on a roof. Spike chuckled, his own durasteel board shimmering with magic. Rarity had made it for him, then shrunk it down with her signature spell so it looked like a handkerchief. (It was always best to be prepared.) “Uh... hey, Celestia?” he asked suddenly, seeing where they were headed. “What happens when a pyroclastic flow goes over water?” The alicorn grinned at him, as they reached the shoreline- -and the cloud of ash kept going. “Huh.” Spike looked down, as it gradually settled out and deposited him on the water itself. “That's kind of cool.” Celestia's hooves began to glow with a water walking effect. She picked her surfboard up, then did a running takeoff. “Come on! I'm going to see if I can hover in the main jet!” “Sounds cool.” Spike spread his own wings and beat steadily at the air. “I guess what ruins one pony's holiday can just mean the most exciting bit for another...” “Can I have that in writing?” Celestia asked. “It sounds like another good lesson for the archive.” 63.4 Scootaloo materialized in a field three feet above the ground. Trying to spread her wings failed, because she was wearing barding, and she hit the ground with a thud. “What th' hell?” a female voice asked. “This is ridiculous!” “Righ back atcha, lady...” Scootaloo muttered, struggling upright. “I was trying to summon Cú Culain!” The woman pointed, apparently lost for words. “Not... a tiny little horse!” “Seriously, watch your mouth,” Scootaloo advised. She looked back along her own body, and after a moment's work managed to get her wings into the – awkwardly placed – slots for them. “Who designed this armour, it sucks...” “Oh. A pegasus. Great...” The woman sat down heavily. “Okay, so apparently I've screwed up so badly. What Class are you? Or are you the horse and I'm the Rider, or something?” “No idea what you're talking about.” Scootaloo tried an awkward smile. “Look, I've got no idea where I am, as far as I'm concerned I just appeared out of nowhere and now you're telling me I should be a Cullen or something.” “Oh, for... Right. Let's start over.” The woman extended a hand. “Hi. I'm Bazett Fraga McRemitz, Magus” Scootaloo extended a forehoof, and contrived to make Bazett shake it. (Most of the Equestrians had 'interacting with bipeds' at graduate level.) “Scootaloo's my name, and speed's my game!” Bazett just looked at her wierdly, then shrugged. “Oh, whatever. Okay, here's what's going on. This is what's called the Grail War, and I was trying to summon an ancient Celtic hero to fight for a great prize. He would have appeared as either Lancer or Caster, if I got it right, but apparently I didn't.” “Wait, is Lancer one of those classes you mentioned?” Bazett nodded. “Cool. That I can do.” The woman looked skeptical. She slipped Pansy out of her Pocket. Bazett took that in stride, which was interesting... Okay, she subvocalized. Let's show off a bit. Pansy's mental contact was questioning for a moment, then approving. A faint mist oozed from the Device. Scootaloo let her cloud-crafting connect with it, shaping it into her standard weapon as Bronze Wing – a ten-foot dory with a broad leaf blade on the fore edge, and a hardened mace-like counterweight on the reverse. Grinning, she flipped it in a few precise circles, passing it from hoof to wing to a quick spin held by momentum to her neck, then gripped it in her mouth to toss it skywards and jumped after it with a flash of feathers. Sticking the point in the ground, she slid smoothly down the polished 'wood' making up the shaft, then landed with a flourish. The dory burst into cloud behind her, and reformed across her back. Bazett blinked. “Okay, so maybe you are a Lancer.” “Okay, what the hell?” Bazett asked, looking out over Fuyuki in disbelief. “Has the whole setup changed and I didn't notice? Scootaloo shrugged. “Hey, I'm feeling a lot more at home now than I was yesterday.” Caster and Archer, both unicorns, blazed magic back and forth between them. The Caster was using a balanced mix of defensive spells and standard-issue offensive spellfire, all in her signature colour of purple, while Archer seemed to be relying on a stream of fire spells, high explosives and illusions. Overhead, Rider soared above the city on her huge purple-and-green dragon. “Hi!” Scootaloo shouted. “Spike! Down here!” Bazett jerked. “What? Don't-” With a slam of air, the Wyrm landed in front of them. “Hello, darling!” Rarity called from atop Spike's neck. “Most of the humans here are such beasts – we're planning something. Is yours alright?” Scootaloo glanced at Bazett. “Yeah, she seems cool enough.” “Right.” Rarity tapped Spike's neck. “Come along, dear.” “Who's driving again?” Spike rumbled good-naturedly, spreading his wings. “You are, dear, I'm just map reading.” Ignoring Bazett's incredulous stare as Rider took to the air again, Scootaloo shaded her eyes for a look around. Wonder who else is here. Ooh, Gilda is Saber. I'll have to take the opportunity for a spar... A custard pie hit Scootaloo in the cheek. Pinkie Pie materialized from thin air, and held up a card. The Mime Assassin strikes again! Scootaloo wiped her face clean. “Seriously? Are you Assassin?” Pinkie turned her card over. Yep! Then she turned it over again. Pity Sweetie isn't here, I could do with some piano music accompaniment. “Wait,” Bazett said, pointing. “Did that card just-” Pinkie turned it over again. Sure did! Scootaloo whirled a small sling around her tail for a moment, then launched the slingstone at Pinkie's ear. With lightning speed, the pink party pony dropped the card, and held up her hooves as if against an invisible wall. The clank of the slingstone hitting an invisible wall indicated that she'd had a good reason for that. “Cool,” Scootaloo pronounced. “I did wonder.” Pinkie picked up the card again. Don't make me mime a big hammer :) Bazett threw up her hands. “I give up.” “Wait a sec...” Scootaloo frowned. “Who's Berserker?” A howl filled the air over Fuyuki. Then a very large, pastel yellow wolf lumbered into a nearby park and started digging a hole, tail wagging. “Right.” The pegasus nodded to herself. “Mental note, don't annoy Fluttershy this loop, in case she goes all you-will-love-me.” Pinkie had taken the opportunity to disappear again. Scootaloo could just make out a hail of blueberry pies materializing from nowhere, and landing on Gilda. Miles away, Princess Celestia sat on her haunches in the middle of a well-appointed apartment building. “In all honesty, I don't think I'll bother getting involved. Wonder what's on TV?” A remote clicked. “Ooh, a cooking channel!” 63.5 Celestia walked into the room her scrying told her that her sister had been subdued. “Well done, Twilight, and-” She paused. “Twilight? Why are you all alicorns?” Twilight looked down at herself with a frown, then gasped. “Oh! Sorry, Princess, I forgot you weren't here for that bit. When I got the Elements working, their power flowed into us and made us like this!” “I must admit,” the Princess said, “I did not expect this...” “Hold on.” Twilight muttered something, and with a flash of purple light her wings disappeared. “There we go.” “What did you just say?” Celestia asked, noting that the Element of Magic had a gradually dimming light emanating from the capstone. “Oh, well...” Twilight blushed. “It was kind of a guess actually. You see, when I said 'harmony power, make up' it transformed me, so I said the same thing again and it seems to have worked.” “Right.” Celestia considered that, then concluded that – well, it wasn't exactly beyond the realm of possibility that her student (along with her new friends) had discovered some deeper form of magic from the elements that had eluded Luna and herself. “Well done, then, Twilight. Are your friends alright?” Twilight smiled at the word friends, then looked back at the five unconscious alicorns behind her. “I hope so...” “Excellent. Now, I must deal with my sister.” “I knew it!” Twilight grinned. “I knew you had to be one of the sisters from the story! And... Princess... Luna, is the other?” “That is correct.” “Twilight,” Celestia said, a smile on her face. “I appreciate the enormous potency and utility of this new ability you have discovered in the Elements-” “Flying is pretty amazing,” Twilight interjected, with a blissful expression on her face. “I'd almost trade magic for it.” “Yes, well.” Celestia coughed. “You see, the problem is that you and your friends are getting... well, a little overly eager to rely on this ability.” “I'm not sure I follow.” Celestia sighed. “Twilight, your friend Applejack used her alicorn abilities to gather in the harvest.” “That seems fine to me,” Twilight said, puzzled. “Your friend Rarity used it to show off at the Young Fliers' competition.” “Well, she had those new dress designs to market... the ones made out of rainbow and cloud.” Twilight shrugged. “Fluttershy used her Element to turn into an alicorn to get over a gap smaller than her own body length,” Celestia continued. “She's afraid of heights,” Twilight defended. “It makes her feel more comfortable.” “She's already a pegasus!” Celestia massaged her forehead. “Sorry, that outburst was impolite of me. But when your friends are becoming alicorns to solve even the slightest problem, then it seems as though it would be simpler to just... transform permanently.” Twilight gaped. “But we can't become alicorns permanently, Princess! I mean... we'd be Princesses as well! We don't want to displace you or cheapen your office...” “Twilight, you turned into an alicorn to fly up one floor of your own house. At this point, you're using ascension to save on walking.” The unicorn (well, currently one, anyway) shrugged. “I don't see the problem.” “How's it going?” Dash asked, giggling. “Well, she had a talk with me about it,” Twilight replied, chuckling herself. Pinkie grinned. “Nearly there! What should we do next?” Twilight thought for a bit. “What about doing it so we don't have to move the pieces in a game of chess?” 63.6 “Momma?” Nyx asked, face scrunched up in confusion. “Can I ask you a question?” “Of course – and no, that wasn't the answer.” Twilight trotted over. “What is it?” “Well... you know how I'm your daughter this time, right? I mean, uh, biological?” Twilight nodded, suppressing a slight wince. She'd never get used to loops like that... “Well... I feel like it's better than if you adopted me, but I don't know why I feel that, and I'm not sure if feeling like that is alright, either.” The filly-corn shrugged helplessly. Twilight smiled. “Nyx, I love you. And that's the same whether you're a biological foal of mine, or a filly I adopted, or even a fully grown mare. Or, er, stallion.” They both remembered the time she'd been Noctis, with matching shudders. That had been strange. “But... yes, there's no difference in my mind.” Twilight frowned, then, and waved a hoof. “Well, there shouldn't be. But candour compels me to admit there might be a slight difference... in any case, it's nothing significant, and it shouldn't be. A daughter is a daughter is a daughter. And what you do is what matters.” Nyx looked contemplative for a bit, then nodded. “Right. Like how you treated us when we were all your daughters, when you were Queen Twilight.” “Exactly. The difference is about you, not where you came from. I know that's not always how it works out in the real world, but it should be.” After digesting that, Nyx nodded again. “Right. Thanks.” “No problem.” Twilight nuzzled Nyx. “And – hey, if I make a mistake, tell me, okay? It's not as if there are university courses in this.” She looked annoyed for a moment. “And when there are, they don't let me in without asking some very embarrassing questions...” 63.7 “Well, this is a right ballyhoo,” a tan stallion wearing a scarf said. “Ginger? Algy? Any of you around?” There was no reply for a few seconds, then an orange head poked out of the nearby Anderson hut. “Hello?” the filly thus revealed said. “Are you looking for... someone... wait a minute!” There was a blur of motion, and she grabbed his front hoof in both her own hooves. “Are you James Bigglesworth?” “Well, Jams, apparently, but you have the advantage of me.” Biggles allowed his hoof to be shaken. “You seem a little familiar from somewhere, but I'm deuced if I know where from.” “I'm Scootaloo,” the filly said, and grinned. “You should remember me, at least if you're looping. But it was a long time ago... we crashed a prototype aircraft into a lake?” “I do seem to recall something along those lines once,” Biggles confirmed. “I'd thought it was all some kind of mystic shared hallucination, but I must admit that we've learned more about what's actually science since then and shared hallucinations are no more than a particularly unusual superstition back...” The pilot gestured behind himself, trying to convey a sense of the direction of a different universe. It didn't work. “Back wherever,” he finished, giving up the attempt. “I see.” Scootaloo nodded. “Yep, that was us. Actually, not all that long ago I had a loop where I replaced you -brilliant fun. We cancelled World War Two and were flying Meteors by 1930.” “Do you know, that's not far off my record?” Biggles sat back somewhat awkwardly. “The best piece of work I've managed thus far is probably to make a dashed huge pile of money on speculation, and then use it all to support some of the best aviation development experts of our time. I can get the War down to an abortive campaign over Czechoslovakia in 1938, if it all goes according to plan.” “Cool.” Scootaloo looked like she wanted to ask a thousand questions, but visibly held them in. “Okay, based on loop memories and stuff I seem to be your assistant and protégé. Which is so cool, by the way...” “Right, right.” Biggles glanced over at the three aircraft lined up neatly on the airstrip - a de Havilland Mosquito, a Fairey Swordfish, and a Heinkel He-162 Salamander. All three bore the marks of heavy customization. “My own local memories tell me we're supposed to be archaeologists who operate by plane, trying to discover some kind of ancient civilization in the local islands.” Scootaloo nodded. “Makes sense – I'd be very surprised if the two of us were doing a loop which didn't involve planes in some way. I assume you're an Anchor?” “I am, that's correct.” Biggles pointed at the planes. “Any preference?” “I'll take whichever of the Mossie and the Stringbag you don't want,” she replied. “I know they're two-seater, but I really want to do as much flying as you.” “Lass after my own heart.” Biggles trotted briskly over to the Salamander, and kicked it viciously – producing a loud crunch noise. “Piece of Fritz junk anyway. Right, I'm for the Mossie.” Scootaloo galloped up and jumped into the cockpit of the Swordfish, a flap of her wings helping her make the cockpit. “This is gonna be so cool!” “Is it me, or do these islands want to kill us?” “Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, miss Cooper.” Scootaloo facehoofed, then put both hooves firmly back on the stick and banked hard right. “I told you, I only had that name once. Anyway, you see my point, right? I mean, there was the fuel leak...” “I must admit, that was the first time I've had to perform in-flight refuelling from a train,” Biggles mused. “Fiddly business.” “I get why the aircraft carrier landing was pretty near impossible for you,” she continued. “I mean, the Mossie was never really navalized. But I'm in a Stringbag! And it still had trouble!” “Well – whoops!” Biggles and Scootaloo both slammed their respective aircraft into turns so severe they nearly flipped upside down, narrowly avoiding an avalanche of rocks falling from a nearby cliff wall. “This is just ridiculous,” Scootaloo opined, as a lightning strike brought down a cascade of yet more rocks. “And as for that map we found-” “I know. I'm not exactly relishing the idea of flying over an active volcano either...” 63.8 (Indalecio) "The spell! Perform your spell!" Twilight shouted to a bedraggled Cadence and now un-hypnotized Shining Armor. "What good would that do? My changelings already roam free!" cried the Changeling Queen Chrysalis. "No!" cried Shining as he attempted to cast it, with only a few sparks emanating from his horn as the result. "I don't have the strength to repel them." Cadence put her hoof around Shining. "My love will give you strength." "What good will love do? Its an absolutely ridiculous sentiment." snarked the Changeling Queen. In response, Shining and Cadence touched horns, an aura glowing around the couple. A blast of pure weaponized love rocked the Queen and sent her careening into a nearby column. The rest of the changelings were blast out of Canterlot and the invasion was ended. Where the Changeling Queen had landed, something unusual happened. Her head released a couple of gouts of steam and it split open to reveal two white mice. Cadence blinked at the pair. "Mice? What? Why?" asked Shining. "We are two lab mice and this is..was part of an elaborate sceme to take over Equestria!" said the shorter of the two in a surprisingly deep voice, paws clasped together behind his back. "Narf!" was the single reply of the taller one. "And they've been very naughty!" cried Fluttershy, as Twilight's ponykinesis enveloped the pair. "Well its back to Fluttershy's cottage. We have to plan for tomorrow night." "Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinkie. Try and take over Equestria!" 63.9 (Kris Overstreet) Two armies stood in full array, lined up across from one another on an open meadow. To the north stood a single rank of white unicorns and pegasi, all clad in shining golden armor. To the south stood a much less orderly mob... say rather swarm, of black creatures whose appearance owed as much to insect as to equine. In between the lines two larger figures stood facing one another. An alicorn pony with a bright red coat and an ethereal mane that turned from deep blue at the roots to a starfield towards its fringes; this was Prince Optimist, Lord of the Sunrise. A dark, dour changeling warrior, half again as tall as the others, wearing an old-fashioned bucket-style helmet over his crooked horn; this was King Megaptera, Master of Deception. Loudly enough that both sides could hear, Megaptera shouted, "My people are starving, Prince Optimist. I have struggled to conquer your kingdom in the past, but we no longer have the energy to continue the battle. I therefore..." The next word choked in his throat for several seconds before he could get it out. "I therefore surrender my crown and abdicate my rule, on the condition that you will accept my changelings as citizens under your rule. They deserve a chance to find those who will give freely the love we could not take by force." Prince Optimist considered this carefully before saying, just as loudly as Megaptera, "I believe freedom and harmony to be the right of all thinking creatures, Megaptera. However, I cannot ignore the fact that changelings have tried to trick the ponies of Equestria in the past. What surety do we have that this is not another trick?" Megaptera leaned forward and hissed quietly, "Prime, I am TRYING to play NICE this Loop. And it does NOT. COME. NATURALLY!" "There are satisfactions to be had outside of battle," Optimist replied quietly. "For example-" Two flashes of green magic flickered out from the Equestrian side of the field of parley, striking both Prince Optimist and Megaptera. The two leaders went down instantly. One of the Equestrian guards stepped out of the ranks, flying into the air as its disguise fell to reveal another changeling warrior. "The leaders of Equestria have fallen!" it crowed. "Now none stand to defy the rule of Screaming Star the mighty! Bow down and worship your new leader!" Despite this stunning display of leadership, charisma and humility, not a single pony or changeling bent a knee. From where they lay on the grass, the two slightly bruised rulers looked at one another. "Screaming Star?" Optimist asked. "Starscream?" Megaptera's eyes only remained wide for a moment before they narrowed. A most vicious grin spread across the black muzzle. "And I thought today was going to be boring. Or would you rather do the honors?" "By all means," Optimist said, "feel free to enjoy-" "AW YEAH!" a female voice said from behind the line of Equestrian guards. A blue pegasus soared up into the air. "Looks like SOMEPONY just asked for a REMATCH." Megaptera's eyes widened again. "Is that a rainbow mane?" "Yes." "Is she the one that-" "Yes." "Is she Awake?" "Yes." Said with extreme satisfaction. "Well." Megaptera pulled himself to a seated position. "On second thought, there are indeed satisfactions to be had outside of battle." Craning his neck, he shouted up, "By all means, carry on, my lord Screaming Star!" "Er, actually," Screaming Star hissed, flapping backwards to put distance between himself and the approaching Rainbow Dash, "I was wondering if it was too late to apply for a position as-" At that point Rainbow Dash tackled the would-be changeling lord in midair, and for several minutes to follow Screaming Star lived up to his pony name. 63.10 (Anowack) It was supposed to be a simple Loop, following the baseline for the most part. Twilight had thought she could use the familiar, relaxing routine before the next loop expansion, which Twilight figured ought to happen any Loop now. That plan was slightly derailed when it turned out that the ancient tyrant that Celestia and Luna had used the Elements to imprison in stone was Queen Chrysalis. Fortunately, when she broke free, she turned out to be Awake, and the whole scenario played out in good fun with a happy ending for all concerned, although not without Twilight being forced to explain the Loops to this version of Celestia. (She used her Explaining The Loops To Celestia Conversation Pattern Three, as that one worked best to ease the Princess into accepting somepony who was usually villainous as an ally and friend.) She really should have considered the implication for the upcoming Royal Wedding, but she'd been having too much fun planning to be dubious that Shining was good enough for Cadance. “Is there anything you can do, my faithful... Twilight?” Celestia finished awkwardly, giving the purple usually-unicorn's newly sprouted wings a nervous look. Twilight didn't answer the question, instead staring out from the heavily warded castle balcony over the city of Canterlot. She winced once as the Lower South Terrace neighborhood became the Widdershins Hovering Warm Milk Lake. A moment later, the east side of the city started experiencing time in reverse, if Twilight judged the magical pulse correctly. “Twilight?” Celestia asked again nervously. “...first, I'm going to check the old mines,” Twilight said, “and hope that he stashed the real Cadance down there like normal.” “Normal... you mean something like this happens every time?” Celestia's voice was horrified, and Twilight reminded herself that with the altered history this was completely new to her. There was a bright light, and then one of the castle towers to their left was inside out. “Or is he... Awake?” “With him, sometimes I can hardly tell,” Twilight groused. She took a breath. “Anyway, once I've found Cadance, we can evacuate.” “Evacuate the city?” Celestia seemed about to protest. Then what looked to be a particularly unpleasant section of the Everfree replaced the castle gardens below their balcony, black tentacle-vines ensnaring everypony within... and then politely depositing them at the front gates. Although from the confusion occurring there, clearly something else had been done to them in the interim. “All right,” Celestia said after a silent moment. “That sounds like a good idea.” “No, not the city,” Twilight said. “We're going to evacuate Equestria.” “What?” Celestia exclaimed, her voice strangled. “You can't possibly be serious.” “I am absolutely serious,” Twilight answered, her horn glowing as she prepared to teleport down the mines. She took one last glance at the city and the army attacking it. Thousands of miniature draconequi darted througout the city, spreading chaos and terror in their wake. In the center of it all, Discord lounged on his throne (suspended upside down from a cotton candy cloud, of course). As though noticing Twilight's attention, he winked, before snapping his fingers. Twilight had a moment of disorientation as her perspective shifted a few feet up and to the right. She shook her head to clear it, strands of pastel, glowing mane passing across her eyes, and she sighed. She glanced down, and was not surprised to see 'herself'. The teleportation spell she'd been in the middle of charging fizzled out and the tiny-seeming purple alicorn started to panic. Twilight groaned slightly, raising a golden-shod hoof to her – or rather to Celestia's – face. “Princess Celestia?” Twilight asked the other alicorn, wincing slightly at the familiar-but-still-alien sound of her new voice. The 'Twilight Sparkle' took a deep breath and looked up. “Is that you, Twilight?” “Yes, Princess,” Twilight said. She started her teleport spell again, and was momentarily distracted by the golden glow of her horn. A small part of her mind started listing some interesting experiments to run before fixing this mess. “Where can we even evacuate to?” Celestia asked. Twilight risked another look at Discord, who was now surrounded by a swarm of what seemed to be pony-parasprite hybrids. “...I hear the moon is nice this time of the century.” 63.11 (Kris Overstreet) "Good evening, Twilight. Come in from the road." Zecora stepped aside to allow the princess to enter her hut. "What brings you tonight to my humble abode?" "Well, Zecora," Twilight said, "I don't know if I mentioned the new expansion to the Loop to you- you know, the one where Fluttershy discovers she enjoys being a singer so long as nobody can see her doing it?" "You might or might not have, but I do not mind it," Zecora smiled. "Thanks to your friends, I have been reminded." "My friends?" Twilight asked. "But the pet center benefit isn't for another week yet." "Rarity and Fluttershy wanted time to rehearse, so they came here to me for the poison joke curse." "Oh. Well, anyway, that's not why I came here. I figured that, if you can make poison joke trigger specific effects, you could reproduce other things besides the Flutterguy voice." "That is the truth which you have guessed, as your friend Pinkie Pie could attest." A pink head poked through one of Zecora's windows, preceded by a large swollen tongue covered in blue polka dots. Two blue eyes glared meaningfully at Zecora before withdrawing out the window once more. "Um... what?" Twilight asked, pointing to the window. "Pinkie Pie's thoughtless rambling last Loop caused quite the sensation; this karmic punishment your friends chose by acclamation." A pink hoof poked a sign through the window: GOODBYE TURKEY CALLING CHAMPIONSHIP! "Um.... yeah," Twilight shrugged. "Anyway, I wasn't asking that you do it to Pinkie." The sign flipped over. YOU'RE NOT? "Why cain't ya just teleport on in thar an' get youre stuff yerself?" "I warded my workshop against all teleportation," Twilight replied. "There are a lot of things I don't want unawake ponies to find! Can you imagine unawake Trixie building her own Intelligent Device? Or Scootaloo making a scooter out of repulsorlifts?" "Then why don'tcha make yerself a set o' lock-out keys?" Appleteeny grumbled, hanging from the edge of the little ventilation pipe. "Loops' smartest pony can't think of that?" "Look, just hurry up, get down there, and unlock my doors!" Twilight said. "If I don't get all that stuff stowed in my pocket before the Loop ends, I'll lose everything! It'll take tens of thousands of Loops to replace some of it!" Applebloom rushed up to Twilight. "Hey, are y'done with my sister yet, Twilight? I need her to unlock the access port fer my hangar! Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara wrecked the controls when they crash-landed in the south forty!" The shrunken Applejack's grumblings were cut off when she lost her grip and slid screaming down the ventilation shaft. 63.12 (misterq) Twilight Awoke as a baby looking up at two adult humans. The lady picked her up gently. "Martha, we can't just take an alien baby," the man said. "Yes we can, if we hurry. Use the winch and load her spaceship in the truck. I'll cover it up with a tarp," the woman, Martha, looked at her husband pleadingly, "This is the answer to our prayers, John. We can finally have a baby. I will call her Tara. Tara Kent." Twilight Sparkle, now Tara Kent, grew up in a loving family on a farm. "Mom, Dad?" "Yes, Tara?" "You know how there comes a point in every young girl's life when they find the alien spaceship that they arrived on Earth in?" Stunned, Martha and John Kent didn't say anything. "Because I totally found the spaceship that I came in. I also activated the AI with the personality of my birth father. Don't worry, he's very boring compared to you, Dad. We just talked about the technology of my destroyed homeworld. It gave me some good ideas for later." "Honey, I know we didn't tell you the truth," Martha started only to be interrupted by a hug from Twilight. "Mom, I understand completely. There's nothing to forgive. You two are my real family." Johnathan Kent got in on the hug, "And you are our daughter no matter what." Tara smiled, "That's great, because I wanted to ask.." John spoke up, "You're still not skipping ahead in school." "But it's so boring! And I have a super-smart alien brain." "Tara, you need to learn social skills. Make some friends," Martha Kent said, reminding Twilight of a certain alicorn mentor. "Fine, but there isn't that many interesting, I mean potential friends. Lana Lang and Chloe Sullivan are alright, but most other girls are just best ignored." "Just try, okay?" Twilight just nodded. Remembering what she could of the DC universe, Twilight couldn't help but let loose a tiny giggle. Superman's weaknesses included magic. The former magical unicorn pony from the magical land of Equestria, whose special talent was magic laughed to herself for a good long while when she remembered this fact. Her other weakness, kryptonite radiation, was fixed by creating a permanent skin-tight magical shield that reflected all said radiation away from her. "So another altered human has been depowered?" The spaceship's AI asked Twilight. "Yep. I'm getting pretty good at endowing and removing Kryptonite induced powers. Now that my adoptive parents now can take care of their farm with super speed and strength, I was thinking of taking Kryptonian technology to the next level." "Are you sure Earth can handle it?" "I did some magical divination to see what kind of future would happen if I did not do this. All the alien invasions, dimensional incursions, and superpowered villains. It would be a mess," Twilight reasoned. The AI was silent as minutes passed. Then it spoke, "Very well, here are the schematics for the rest of our people's technologies." The information download gave Twilight a massive headache and a massive smile. She knew how she could make it up to her birth family and people. Thus, the first thing she did after graduation was formed the Kent Technology corporation. Using every bit of her intelligence and lessons learned from her most business savvy friend, Rarity; Twilight managed to raise her company to the same level as Lex-Corp, Wayne Enterprises, and Oliver Queen's corporation in only a few years. The small green crystaline probe emerged from the Kent-Tech satellite that orbited the planet Venus. A few moments later, this was followed by a similar crystal. When all the kryptonian terraformer probes were in place, they activated. Hours later, the planet Venus was a perfect duplicate of Krypton. Time travel technology was forbidden by Kryptonian law. Twilight Sparkle reasoned that such a law can't exist until the Kryptonian people could enforce it. Thus the satellite in orbit linked up to a point in time right before the destruction of the original Krypton and a split second before their deaths all the doomed Kryptonians were saved. To live happily on Venus, a planet in orbit around Earth's very yellow sun. "Miss Kent! You've brought a civilization of super powered aliens to our solar system," the news reporters were all over her during the press conference, "How do you propose to protect Earth from even one of these unstoppable Kryptonians?" "The answer is simple," Twilight answered, "My company will be providing Kryptonian powers at very affordable prices to any human that wanted them, provided they didn't have a criminal history." It took a while for the pandemonium to quiet down. At least the politicians changed their stance on selling superpowers to people, Twilight thought. Partly because of our new planetary neighbors, and partly because they knew she could have taken her operation to tax-free international waters. Twilight smiled as she looked upon the list of the first subjects to the Kryptonian enhancement package. She paused at the name marked Bruce Wayne. It would be interesting to see how everything changed now. A few years later, when the White Martians tried to invade Earth, they found billions of Super men and women alongside their Kryptonian allies. So it was that the base DC timeline was made completely and utterly unrecognizable. 63.13 (Gym Quirk) MLP Loop Trek: Evening Interludes "Good Evening, Captain. Please come in," said Twilight Sparkle, greeting Rainbow Dash at the entrance to her quarters. The pegasus came in just far enough to let the doors close. "Twilight, I think we need to talk about what's coming up further down the line." She seemed slightly ill-at-ease. "Anything in particular? I've distributed all the episode videos, the written summaries, and selected analyses to all of the looping crew." "Yeah...About that. Just to state the blindingly obvious, you're in Spock's slot, and I've gone over your official Starfleet personnel file..." Twilight started to get a sinking feeling. "And I gather you've been looking at the second season?" Rainbow nodded. Twilight sighed. "I've already been over this with Nyx for obvious reasons. Yes, I'm half crystal pony in this continuity. And yes, I'm betrothed. To Flash Sentry, if you must know. And no, there is no equivalent to Pon Farr for crystal ponies. So I don't think there is any reason for us to try to kill each other when my supposed wedding date comes up. Anything else?" "About your parents and the Babel conference..." "Cadance and Shining." "That's...kinda weird." "Not the first time for me we've been parent and child -- In either direction. And I'm pretty sure they're both unawake. There's been plenty of time for them to send the signals, even if we're supposed to be estranged. Y'know. I've always wondered why baseline Spock's file didn't mention that he was Sarek's son..." "Fluttershy? Y'all got a minute?" asked Applejack, poking her head out of her sickbay office. "Sure, Applejack. What do you need?" "It's just Dash, Twi and me have been meanin' to talk to ya about how little there's been for y'all to do this loop." "I honestly don't mind at all. You know me. I like quiet loops. It gives me time to work on my own projects." "We're a little worried that ya don't have any animal friends to keep ya company, though." "Yes. I do miss them, but please don't worry. I'm fine. How are you feeling about all this?" she asked, indicating sickbay and the ship around them with a wing gesture. "Well, I'm a little out of my comfort zone; I've done the 'country doctor' thing a few times, but it ain't like with Apple Bloom, who's eatin' up being Chief Engineer, or Scoots whose only disappointment is that she's flyin' a big cruiser and not one of them Defiant class heavy escorts." Her expression suddenly brightened as a thought struck. "Heh...Silly thing...I'm still waitin' on my chance to use the 'Darn, it Dash! I'm a Doctor, not a whatever' line." They both chuckled. "Well, I do appreciate you three being concerned for me, but I'm fine," Fluttershy reassured her friend. "Okay then. Just two more things." "Yes?" "First off, we're probably gonna be encounterin' tribbles a ways down the road. I hope that won't be a problem." "I'll do my best to control myself." "And second, we know you've been practicin' yer shape-shifting in the arboretum durin' the night watch; Tiara's been gettin' reports from spooked ponies. We just want y'all to be careful, y'hear?" "I'll keep it in mind." "...Star Trekkin', I hope that we don't crash / On the starship Enterprise under Captain Dash..." Sweetie Belle sang quietly to herself as she waited her turn at the food replicator in the Officers' Mess. That is a very silly song, observed Clover. Silly even by Pinkie Pie standards. "Yeah. It's just an earworm that tends to implant when I'm in a Trek loop," explained Sweetie. But you've adapted it to our current circumstances. "I'm off duty. I'm allowed to be silly." Sweetie collected her dandelion salad and went to the table where Apple Bloom, Nyx, and Silver Spoon were finishing their own meals. "Hey, guys. I heard you've completed your certification, Silver. Congrats." "Thanks," said the dragoness, contemplating one last Beryl from the selection of gems she'd ordered for dessert. "You hear anything from the seniors about what's coming next?" "Nothing solid, but I've been picking up rumors that an Ambassador Harshwhinny may be coming aboard sometime soon." Nyx's expression went thoughtful. "If I were to guess, that's probably the Eminian-Vendikan War. Joy. More society-controlling computers to blow up. Depending on how the Captain wants to play this, you may end up in command for a while, Apple Bloom." "Great. I'm still foal-sittin' our own computer upgrades," muttered the Engineer. "I have offered to help you monitor the situation," pointed out Cookie from her necklace. "On several occasions." "Problem is, you, Clover, and Pansy aren't officially on the crew roster, so you can't stand watches or actually do much of anything without your 'sponsor' physically present. Barrin' Q or Discord jiggerin' reality again, it'll take either me or Twilight and five minutes alone with a Starbase records computer to create proper identities for y'all. I'm really sorry, but that's just how it is right now. I might be able to rig up mobile holoemitters fer y'all, or at the very least holographic disguises fer yer armor shell forms fer after." "Speaking of Pansy," mused Silver. "Where's Scootaloo?" "Y'all know that mini-holosuite I set up in cargo hold 3 yesterday? Scoots and Diamond have been monoplizin' it durin' their off-watch time. I'm startin' to regret installin' the thing..." "Ready for match 16?" asked Scootaloo. "I keep telling you that the scenario isn't just flawed, but that the underlying assumptions are contradictory," insisted Diamond Tiara. "It's bad enough that each side works under different laws of phsyics, but since you insist on including specific characters, each of which has their own variable levels of plot armor..." Running out of steam, she took a deep breath. "All right. Let's go. But I get the Death Star this time." Seeing the orange pegasus' frown, she added, "I don't see what you're so sad about, Miss Best Helmspony in Starfleet. I've seen what you can do with a Defiant class..." 63.14 (Kris Overstreet) "Rarity?" "Yes, Twilight?" "Why are we sitting in this box watching a third-rate variety show?" The old men seated in front of them said in chorus, "That's what we've been wondering for forty years!" 63.15 (Kris Overstreet) C-Force sat in the lounge and listened as Dr. Diamond gave the briefing. "The Chuppy Choccy brand of cookies have recently been discovered to contain a certain silicate. Now, industrial cookie-making processes often use silicates as a stabilizing agent-" "You mean there's sand in our cookies?" team leader Apple-1 gasped. "Only trace amounts, and usually nothing harmful," Dr. Diamond said patiently. "But what we found in Chuppy Choccies is different." She turned on a screen to show a microscopic image. "This is a sample taken from one of those cookies. Note the electrical flashes between the silica bits." Sure enough, brief flashes of light could just barely be seen linking tiny light-colored grains within the dark brown cookie. "We think these electrical discharges have the same properties as neural thought waves." "You mean there's MIND-CONTROL sand in our cookies?" team leader Apple-1 gasped. "Sounds like a dirty SPECTRA trick to me!" Scoota-2 chimed in. "To you everything sounds like a dirty SPECTRA trick," Princess-3 replied. Sweetie-4 pulled a packet of cookies out of her pocked and sighed. "I'm gonna have to switch to Nutty Muddies, aren't I?" Silver-5 tried to say something, but after about ten seconds of random sounds, all she could get out was, "RRddoot ploot toot stupid speech impediment!" SPECTRA- Super Party Eventual Conquest Through Random Acts. Headquarters- somewhere in deep space, unobservable to even cutting-edge Earth supertechnology. Staff- a lot of really ugly humanoid robots with 1970s hair and bad uniforms... and one other. "WHOOPEE!" Zoltie Pie shouted, dancing as she watched viewscreen after viewscreen of cookie-loving people dancing uncontrollably in the street. "My newest plan is a BRILLIANT success! Now once we infiltrate the Nutty Muddies factory we can begin with the second stage- MUSICAL NUMBERS!" She giggled madly before continuing, "At this rate not even C-Force will be able to stop me from PARTY-FYING THE EARTH!" Sweetie-4 looked up from her console on the bridge of the Philomena. "Girls, I've been wondering about this Loop." "Here we go again," Scoota-2 grumbled. "I mean," Sweetie-4 persisted, "I can accept the stupid brightly colored ninja bird outfits, but why is it every fight we get into ends with us fighting a giant robot monster?" "Yes," Princess-3 added, "and we always defeat the giant robot monster by setting our spaceship on fire?" "Hey, 'Firey Philomena' looks cool, that's all I need to know," Scoota-2 replied. "Girls, please," Apple-1 sighed, "we're in a Loop where our evil nemesis is Pinkie Pie. We're really better off not asking questions." "Guess you're right," Sweetie-4 said, pulling a candy bar out of her pocket. "But it still makes no sense." 63.16 (Kris Overstreet) Discord Awoke in a cramped little workshop surrounded by walls made out of triangles and hexagons. He couldn't quite tell if the panels were full of super-science gizmos or just random junk glued up and spray-painted over in gray. He looked at his hand, which currently held a screwdriver. It was a normal human hand. Not good. He couldn't remember, literally could NOT remember, ever being in a world where he couldn't shift to his more accustomed, gloriously asymmetrical form. "What's the matter, Joel?" a voice called from over his shoulder. A gangly yellow robot that looked like the unholy love child of a light fixture truss and the contents of a middle school gym equipment locker stared up at him with yellow eyes. "You just built us, you can't go crazy now." "Yeah," another voice chimed in. The thing in front of Discord, which he'd taken for a kewpie-doll made out of parts from a gumball machine, moved to face him. "I mean, what's the point of dismantling the vital guidance and control circuits from the satellite to build us if you were planning on going nuts anyway." "It's not like I knew how to operate them anyway, I'm just a janitor." Discord's eyes bulged as he realized what he'd said. "No. No, I am NOT going to play along with this Loop. I'm going to snap my fingers and restore myself to delightful, delightful chaos." "Who, chaos? Chaos from Mr. Minnesota himself? This I have to see!" the gumball machine chortled. Discord snapped his fingers. After a brief pause he snapped them again. And again. He tried snapping the fingers of his left hand instead. He tried alternating. He tried simultaneous. And he kept on trying until the snapping built into a syncopated rhythm, then into a frantic metronome that ceased only when his fingertips grew chafed. "Hey, have you tried wiggling your nose, Samantha?" the golden robot asked. Before Discord could ponder a witty rejoinder, a yellow light flashed from the room next door. A cross between a sea serpent and a Shop-Vac poked its head through the door. "INCOMING MESSAGE, JOEL," it shrieked in an unearthly voice. "Incoming message from Gizmonics Institute," a much saner female voice added. "Please report to the bridge for incoming message." "Well, at least it can't get better," Discord said quietly. "Don't you mean, 'it can't get worse?'" the yellow robot asked. "Oh, thanks so very much for that," Discord grumbled. "You've just jinxed us all." "Oh, you're welcome- what?" Discord and the robots moved into the next room, which had a single control panel with only three clownishly large buttons on it. The yellow one flashed urgently. "Right, let's see what happens," Discord said, whacking the button. A viewscreen lit up with a view of a dark, dank, dungeonous laboratory. Standing in the middle of it wearing a sickly green lab coat stood a man with wild, uncombed hair, standard-issue geek glasses and a truly objectionable mustache. "Ah, hello, Joel Discord," he said. "I think you can tell by your current surroundings that your job performance review didn't go all that well." "Dr. Forrester," Discord said. "I- no. No I am NOT going along with this!" "Yes! Yes, but you are!" Dr. Forrester grinned. "You see, I needed a guinea pig for my experiments on breaking the human psyche. I have a theory that, if only I can expose normal humans to the most mind-searingly awful movies ever made, I will be able to destroy human civilization and take over for my own- are you taking notes?" "Just a moment," Discord said, scribbling madly on a notepad, "... 'destroy-human-civilization.' Got it. Sounds like a marvelously evil idea!" "Why, thank you!" Dr. Forrester said. "So you can see how evil my idea is, we're going to begin now! It's a collaboration between American movie giant Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer and Japanese movie giant Toei, and it truly brings together the worst of both worlds! It's a little stinkburger entitled The Green Slime. Buckle up, Bunkie!" The room shook as red flashing lights cycled overhead, joined by the red button on the console, which flashed its own alarm. "Movie sign," the calm female voice said over the screams of Discord and the robots. "We have movie sign. You have ten seconds to evacuate to the theater before atmosphere is vented from the bridge." Big Mac looked at the figure sitting at the end of the bar. It was the first time he'd seen the phrase, "crawled into the bottle," done literally. "Ain't seen you like this before," he said to Discord. "Finally find a Loop too much for you to handle?" "Oh, it was going all right," Discord said, "until TV's Twilight showed her face."