//------------------------------// // You're All Right Jack // Story: Extremely Loud, Intensely Bright, Drastically Tense, Exceedingly Tight // by h4ns //------------------------------// Chapter 15: You're All Right Jack Since he had returned to the farm with Ditzy, Bryce had made up with most of the members of the Apple family. The only ones who seemed to be holding out were Applejack and Big Macintosh. The former was still unenthusiastic about the idea of leaving him at the house while she worked the orchard, let alone even when she was home. The elder sibling was the same way, as far as anypony could tell, though if he felt that way about the human he didn't voice it. A week after the first incident with Rainbow Dash, Bryce had been cleared to mess around with Applebloom, but not yet deemed well enough to do any farm labor. With nothing better to do Bryce spent most of his time playing with Applebloom and Winona. Currently they were playing a game of hide and seek, with Winona and the yellow filly on the same team. "...7...8...9...10! Ready or not here I come, Bryce." Applebloom bent down to Winona, "OK girl, where'd Bryce get off to?" Winona began to sniff at the ground, trying to find his scent. When she had found it she ran off, barking the entire way. Eventually the Border Collie stopped at the base of an apple tree. Applebloom crept up around the side of the same tree, "Ha...Ah found yuh...Bryce?" Bryce was no where to he found. She circled around the tree a few times but was met with the same outcome. Huh, that's weird, Winona's been able to find him all day. She ran around the tree in the opposite direction, still finding no trace of the human. Applebloom turned to Winona, "Are yuh sure he's here girl?" From above there came a whistle drawing Applebloom's attention. There, sitting on a branch, was the person she was looking for, "You see, this is why I paired you with Winona. She knows when to bark up the right tree," Bryce smirked, "Now move back so I don't squish you." After the filly was a safe distance away Bryce pushed himself off the branch and landed on his feet. "Well Sprout, it's your turn again." "OK then, start counting," Applebloom said as she ran off. Bryce laid his head on the tree he had just jumped from, "Uno...Due...Tre...Quattro...Cinque...Sei...Sette...Otto...Nove...Ten. Ready or not here I come." OK Bryce, time to track down this little horse thing. Bryce followed the tracks she had left behind leading him inside the barn. OK now, let's see. Surveying the area Bryce came to a hay stack, I'm going to go on a leap of faith and test it out. Bryce rummaged around inside the hay stack. He knocked into something solid, "Found you." Applebloom jumped out, "Ahh come on. How do yuh keep finding me so fast?" "I can't help it, I'm just good at finding things. Now it's..." Bryce saw something thin and scaly crawl out from the hay, "Applebloom...stand...very...still." "Wh...what, what is it?" "Applebloom...I need you to listen to me. When I say 'now'...you run outside...and don't look back." Applebloom was beginning to get scared, "W...why...what is it?" "Shh...on the count of three...One...Two...Threenow." Applebloom put all her focus into running, not once looking back as she ran outside the barn. Bryce quickly grabbed onto the snake, trying to grab it as close to its head as he dared try. Instantly the snake began to thrash about, wanting to slither its way out of Bryce's large hand, hissing at the human. "Calm down, just calm down...Now yellow, red, and black." Shit! "Now the rhyme goes...'Red touches yellow, you're a dead fellow; if red touches black, you're all right, Jack.'" Rotating the reptile in the dim light he let out a sigh of relief, "Red touches black, you're all right, Jack," he said as he loosened his grip. He brought it up to eye level, "Hey...sorry man, I mistook you for a coral snake." The snake hissed at him. "Oh...sorry. I'm not an expert on snake gender." "Bryce...Bryce! What's happening, what's going on!?" "It's all right Sprout, everything's fine. I'm coming out now." When Bryce exited the barn Applebloom jumped back at the sight of the slithering reptile, "Bryce, what is that?" He brought up a hand to reassure the filly, "Just relax, it's harmless." "But it's a snake. It's poisonous!" "No, this one isn't. See...red on black. If it had been red on yellow then you'd have something to worry about. And the word's 'venomous'." "Ar...are yuh sure." "If I wasn't then would I do this?" Bryce released the snake and allowed it to crawl over him, which made his skin crawl. When it reached the ground it started towards Applebloom. Applebloom froze up, but was relieved when it slithered past her. "So...you ready for some lunch?" "Ye...yeah, Ah guess so." Both Bryce and Applebloom walked towards the house, the snake close at their heels. When they were at the side of the house Bryce turned back, "Hey...stop following us." The snake flicked its tongue. "No." The snake hissed. "I said no. I'd like to, but the owners wouldn't let me." Bryce walked off. The snake sped up, starting to drag itself up Bryce's leg just as the pair were turning the corner. Bryce grabbed onto it and threw it towards the front of the house. It landed on a white unicorn with a purple mane he hadn't seen until now, "My word, what was...?" When the unicorn realized what Bryce had thrown on her she let out a high pitched scream, "Get it off me, GET IT OFF ME!!!" Bryce rushed forward, "Just relax, it's harmless!" The unicorn paid Bryce no attention as she began to running around the yard, "Somepony help me before it bites me!" "Stand still and I'll..." The unicorn ran right past him as if he wasn't there. When she came near him again Bryce did the only thing he could think of to stop her. He stuck his foot out and tripped her. With the white unicorn finally subdued, Bryce took a knee and grabbed hold of the snake, "See, it's...a tape measure." Bryce tossed it aside and grabbed the snake from the unicorn's curled mane, holding on tightly. The snake hissed at Bryce, "Hey don't yell at me, I told you to get on." "What is the matter with you, forcing a lady onto the ground like that?" "Hey sorry, it was either that or let you run yourself tired. Besides, this thing is harmless." Bryce held the snake out to her. "Ugh, get that disgusting creature away from me. Now stand back so I can get my things." The unicorn got herself up and began to collect her belongings, cursing under her breath, "The nerve of that...uncouth...crass...vulgar...impolite..." Bryce looked at the snake, "Is she saying all that about you or me?" The snake flicked her forked tongue. "Yeah probably me." He released the snake, allowing her to climb up and entwine herself around Bryce's neck. When the unicorn had gathered her equipment and placed it neatly into her saddle bag she turned towards the front door, "Well in any case I suppose I must thank you for getting that...filthy creature out of my mane, but I must be going. I have important matters to attend to." "Really, like what?" Bryce inquired. "If you must know I'm here to get measurements from somepony who lives at this residence." Bryce snorted and smirked, "Want to hear a joke?" "I really don't have the tim..." "I'm the one you're supposed to measure." This made the white unicorn skid to a halt. Turning around to face Bryce she was dumbfounded at the sight of him, before not taking notice of his much greater size. After looking him up and down a few times she asked, "You are joking right?" Bryce shook his head. She cautiously pointed a hoof at Bryce, "You're the one I'm to here for a fitting?" "Fraid so, you can ask Sprout." "Sprout...who's...?" Applebloom jumped in, "He's tellin yuh the truth." The unicorn looked first at Applebloom, then up at Bryce, "Yes...well...Applejack never said you would be of such...odd proportions," she said as she forced a smile. "Well...she never said you would be so...," Bryce flapped his fingers as he searched for the right word, "...elegant." The unicorn turned, trying to hide the noticeable blush forming on her cheeks, "Well...thank you darling, but if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you?" "I'm...uh, a human." "OK then, do you mind coming inside so I may do my service?" "...OK." Bryce walked to the front door, holding it open for Applebloom and the unicorn, the later being sure to politely thank him. Granny Smith woke up from her rocking chair, "Ehh, what...Oh well howdy there Miss Rarity, what brings you around these parts?" "Good day to you Granny Smith, I'm here to take the measurements of...," She paused as she hung her hoof at Bryce. "Bryce...my name's Bryce." "It's nice to meet you..." the unicorn's pupils shrank, "did you say your name was Bryce?" "Yes...it's the name I've gone by for as long as I can remember." Rarity brought here hoof back and held it at her chin, deep in thought, He's looks almost nothing like I've heard him described. After a few seconds she held her hoof out to the human, "It's...a nice name. Glad to meet you Bryce, my name is Rarity." Bryce firmly grasped her hoof, "Bryce Smales, likewise." When the feeling came back into the appendage she said, "Now then, if you don't mind, can I go and wash all of this...dirt off myself?" "Sure, I don't mind." "Thank you darling," she turned to Granny Smith, "Do you mind if I..." "It's upstairs, last door on the right. Take all the time yuh need." "Thank you Mrs. Smith," Rarity replied as she removed her saddle bags and walked upstairs, leaving Bryce with the oldest and youngest members of the Apple family. About a minute later Granny Smith took notice of something odd, "Bryce, what's that you have around your neck?" "It's a snake." "A sna...A SNAKE!?" The aged mare jumped out of her rocker and ran into the kitchen. When she came back she was sporting a colander on her head and brandishing a wooden spoon, "Now just hold still and I'll whack it." "Hey, wai...ow...it's har...ow...stop that!" "Well hold still," the snake hissed at the aged mare, "oh now you're askin for it yuh..." Bryce grabbed the spoon before she could whack him across his still sore nose. "Would you stop and listen, she's harmless. I've been carrying her since I pulled her off the elegant one." "Who, Rarity?" Thinking for a moment Granny Smith asked, "What was it doing on Rarity?" "I...accidently threw her on her." "Threw who on who?" "This snake on Rarity. Just...let me start from the beginning." Bryce took a deep breath and said in rapid fire, "Applebloom and I were playing hide and seek, she found me and it was her turn to hide. I found her in a hay stack in the barn and, as she was coming out, I saw a snake slither out too." Bryce took another deep breath, "I made Applebloom go outside while I picked it up to check and see if it was OK, which it was. When I came out the snake kept following me and, when I was coming around the house I threw it and it landed on Rarity, which was an accident, and she kept running around so I tripped her up and pulled it off her and now we're here." Bryce started panting for air. "Well that's a fine story, but there's no way it's livin here. Now go on and throw it back outside." "I...*pant*...I know, I told...*pant*...her that my...*pant*...self." Bryce grabbed the snake at the base of its head and walked towards the door, "You see Jack...*pant*...I told you she wouldn't go for it." She flicked her tongue. "I know, tell you what, I'll..." Bryce leaned in and whispered at the open door way, "but only at night, now go on." As Bryce was throwing the snake out the front door Rarity came back downstairs, a towel wrapped around her mane, "Ahh, there's nothing better than a bath after such an unfortunate incident. Bryce, darling, is there anywhere we can do your fitting more...privately?" "Well, there's my room upstairs." Granny Smith butted in, "Y'all go on and take care of that, Ah'll go start makin lunch. Applebloom you come along with me so they can do this in private." She and Applebloom went into the kitchen. "Oh why thank you. Well then Bryce, shall we go?" "Sure, why not? No time like the present." Both Bryce and Rarity ascended the staircase and went down the hall to Bryce's room.