//------------------------------// // And So it Begins // Story: How to Crash a Castle // by Walkofshade //------------------------------// "Dude I got no idea why you dressed as the blacksmith." my friend said to me as we walked around the large groups of cosplayers and superhero fans that littered the Comicon grounds. "Because he was my favorite character dipshit. And you know as well as I do that way back in my family tree there were blacksmiths. The forging blood runs through our veins." I replied, brushing some dust off of my costume. "Besides the Blue knight sucked ass." "You're just pissed I chose him first." he replied, using his usual comeback. "You're just pissed I have enough money to buy DLC." I shot back. "By the way you are gonna have to owe me for your pass, it wasn't a gift." "Now I feel all warm inside. You sure now how to be a good friend. Oh man look at that!" he said, pointing at a booth. I glanced over and saw that they were selling video game weapon replicas, and that a certain hammer was the main piece. We both ran over like any fanboys would. "Look at this!" he said, picking up a staff with the mark of Solaire of Astoria on it. I was only able to draw my attention away from looking at the hammer long enough to crush his dreams. "Look at that." I stated, pointing at the price tag of 100$ (In case you hadn't noticed this is a shoutout to Jimmy the Grape.) "Damn dust pockets." he grumbled. "And lemmie guess, you, mister wallet warrior are going to buy that hammer." "I only load gold to troll newbies. And because I am an asshole. But yeah, I am gonna buy it. It IS the flaming hammer as the blacksmith's ranged magic attack." I replied, then I turned to the person running the stand. "How much?" "Same as the staff, triple digits with a one and two zeroes." the guy said, pulling out a small cash register from under his table. "One dollar sweet!" I said, throwing out five twenties and taking the hammer. As I walked away from the booth I gave the hammer a couple of swings, testing it's weight. "I think it is real metal." I told my friend, who was still looking back at the staff. "I doubt that very much." he replied. "What are you gonna buy next?" "The world, and you will be my bitch until you pay me back for your ticket." I replied quickly. "There wouldn't be much of a change then I guess." "Screw you I'm not that bad." I said as we walked into the main hall. I looked around at how big the room was. "Jesus, I don't think we have a center this big, no wonder we don't have a huge Comicon of our own. "If we did Mayor Ford will demand to be the mascot." we both started laughing at our mayor's antics. However my laughter was suddenly stopped as the hammer burst into flames. "FUCK!" I yelled, dropping the hammer. I checked my hand for burns quickly before looking down to see that the hammer never stopped at the floor and had begun to burn through at lightning speed. My friend and about thirty other people watched in awe and horror as the floor underneath my feet suddenly crumbled away into oblivion. But before I was lost forever I had one last thought. "IF I DIE NOW MY LAST WORD IS KUMQUAT!" Then everything went black. Celestia's POV I looked at the rich elite that stood before me, who was currently complaining about how the taxes were taking away his had earned riches, and how I should lower them. Things had been getting pretty boring as there was normally something huge happening somewhere, whether it be an ancient enemy from 1000 years ago, or Twilight and her friends blowing something up. However now things seemed to be toning down and that was boring me. So that is why I sat there hoping for a villain to show up out of the blue. Oh, he is looking for an answer now. "Sir, I am sorry, I cannot lower the taxes any or else the city will start to go bankrupt, then I will need to raise the taxes extremely high to keep us afloat." I told him. "But princess I must object! My money is simply flowing away from me with all these taxes, you could lower them for us rich and make them higher for the rest even!" the pony whined. Why won't he give up, don't they understand that I can just hurl them into the sun if I want to? "Sir my answer is final, now exit the c-" I was cut off by crack appearing in the ceiling. We both looked up and saw something coming through. "What in the wo-" the stallion was cut off by a hammer falling through the crack and slamming into his face, knocking him out. I was about to jump off of my throne to help him when something else fell, smashing down upon the unfortunate pony with a large crash. "FUCKING SHIT!" came a yell from the thing that fell last. The thing then rose to it's full height, rivaling my own. Then it turned it's head to face me, it's eyes just slats. "What in the sweet name of fuck just happened?" it asked, before falling to the ground, further crushing the elite beneath him. There was a crash as the door was flung open by her guards. "Princess are you alright?" one of them asked me, I simply nodded, moving towards the creature for a closer look. I was about to poke what looked like it's head with my hoof when it's claw rose up and smacked my hoof away. "Don't you touch my helmet bitch." the creature stated. I then lifted the creature into the air with my magic, holding it in my grasp. "Who and what are you?" I asked it. "I'm the fucking blacksmith, and I'm a damn human. What the fuck are you?" it replied. "I am princess Celestia, the co-ruler of this land. I raise the sun and my sister raises the moon." I explained, ignoring it's vulgarity. "Princess I would advise against speaking to the creature until we have questioned it." the guard said. "Pssh she just said she was the co-ruler of the land, go jerk off in the corner, I think she got this handled. As well I don't give a fuck about the logic of raising the sun and the moon 'cause I just fell through the ground with a magic hammer into a world of talking magical horses. But where I come from the planet we live on orbits the sun and the moon orbits us. Anyways see ya!" it said, holding up it's claw flat towards my face. Suddenly the ground beneath my feet rose into the air by a meter due to a strange contraption and I was thrown across the room. Out of my grasp the creature ran to the side of the room, forgetting his hammer, and kicked the wall near the window down, and gave a quick salute before jumping off the edge.