Slowly, one hoofstep after another, Rainbow Dash climbed down the ladder inside the Noble Jury's forward crawlspace. When she at last landed on the bottom deck, she sensed a soft shadow in the observation room. Immediately, her head darted forwards.
Bellesmith stood beneath the portside hammock where Rainbow Dash typically slept. Dull shadows swam across the floor, mimicking the swaying limbs of the mare as she dug her front hooves into something. Craning her neck, Rainbow Dash tried to see what it was. She discovered Belle fishing through Princess Luna's midnight satchel. The mare's hooves came out, cradling a pair of goggles with the initials "S.L." on them. A sigh escaped Belle's lips, and she hugged the article to her fuzzy chest.
"I can't stop thinking about her myself," Rainbow Dash muttered.
Belle jumped. She hugged the goggles tighter, careful not to drop them. Turning in the light of the sunrise wafting through the bubbled windows, she gazed Rainbow's way. Her muzzle was moist, and puffy around the eyes.
"But... y'know... she's doing alright for herself," Rainbow Dash said with slight shrug. "According to Luna, at least. She's a mechanic now. Even got her cutie mark in the whole thing."
Belle gulped. She nodded and said rather hoarsely, "I know. I was there when you talked with Luna about it."
"I keep forgetting how much you've witnessed and how much you've just sequenced from my thick skull," Rainbow Dash said with a breathy chuckle. "Quite frankly, it's all a friggin' blur."
"It always is, when the spheres are involved," Belle said. "I've interfaced with far too many sources than a pony can withstand. First you, then Nightshade and her foals, and... and then..." She suddenly winced.
Rainbow squinted curiously at her.
Belle shuddered. "Anyways..." She swallowed and neatly slid the goggles back into the satchel. "I'll always treasure your memories, Rainbow. But it doesn't give me any right to be rummaging through your stuff."
"By now, you should know it's nothing to sweat over." Rainbow Dash trotted over, her eyes warm and soft in the sunlight. "My stuff is pretty much your stuff."
"What I'll never get over..." Belle chuckled bitterly, shaking her head. "What will always amaze me is how reclusive and aloof you were for so long... after... after..." She sniffled. "After you lost all who were close to you, you held the world at a distance, and yet you were willing to make friends with my beloved and me." Belle smiled at the mare, her eyes watering. "You were willing to give us a chance... and t-to bless our lives."
Rainbow shrugged. "Yeah, well, you guys reminded me that the world still mattered to me." She gulped. "And maybe even depended on me."
"And look at you now," Belle said with a soft smile.
"Yeah..." Rainbow exhaled with a shiver. "Look at me now."
"Do you think..." Belle suddenly winced. "Er, no. I shouldn't..."
"Nah. Spit it out, girl."
"Well..." Belle bit her lip. "Do you think... that if you had run into Pilate and me far earlier in your travels, then you would have given a pony like Gold Petals a chance?"
Rainbow blinked at that. She surrendered to gravity, plopping down on her haunches. Blowing a series of prismatic bangs out from over her eyes, she stared into the bulkheads and muttered aloud, "I don't think so, Belle. I mean... sure... maybe?" She winced. "Gold Petals... didn't mean all that much to me."
"Are you certain?" Bellesmith asked. "We both know that she's in your head a lot, Rainbow."
"There're a lot of things in my head," Rainbow droned, staring coldly out the brightly-lit windows. The frames' hard lines slowly swam across her as the day crept along. "The feel of the warm wind in my mane. The fragrance of Everfree leaves. The songs sung during Winter Wrap-Up. Even the smell of the Wonderbolts Poster I hung up in my foalhood home." Her lips curved slightly. "There're so many things about Ponyville that dart in and out of my head, but it doesn't mean I have any hope of reliving it."
"You drank cider again," Belle said.
Rainbow looked at her.
"At Archer Pointe," the mare said. "When we drank together."
"I was with friends," Rainbow blurted. Her eyes fluttered. "And... a-and I knew it." She clenched her teeth. A cold shudder ran through her body, and she muttered aside, "Probably for the last time."
Belle's muzzle hung agape.
"Face it, Belle," Rainbow said. "It's not gonna last very long after you and Pilate are gone. The Jury, I mean. Oh, we'll survive whatever craziness the world has to throw at us. But this... this club never really had much to stand on in the first place. We're less of a cruise ship and more of a bus making frequent stops across the continents. Eagle Eye's gonna find his home sweet home. Props will either find her crazy uncle or some crazy 'sexy' machine that she'll give herself up for. Josho's bound to die of a heart attack at any given moment. Heh. Ebon...? I dunno, but suspect he'll stick with either Props or Eagle. Zaid's the kind of water-off-the-back type of stallion, so I'm sure he'd be happy to pick up a new career wherever he may happen to be. And as for Floydien—so long as his 'Nancy Jane' is in one piece, he's home anywhere."
"What about Roarke?" Belle asked.
Rainbow squinted. "What of her?"
Belle suddenly avoided her gaze.
Rainbow blinked, then spoke with a shrug, "Roarke... I can never figure out. I doubt I ever will. She deserves a future, and that can't involve flying with me forever. Nopony can go the lengths that I'm going. I knew this ages ago. That's why I can take this all in stride, y'know..."
"Rainbow Dash—"
"So, to answer your question, Belle." Rainbow sighed. "No, it would never have worked out with Gold Petals. And it never will. And you know why?" She trotted forward, then placed a gentle hoof on the mare's shoulder. "There may only be one type of loyalty, but there are different types of love. And... well... some things just can't grow back, no matter how much magic or friendship you throw at it. But listen to me when I tell you this..."
Belle gazed at her with glittering eyes.
Rainbow stared at her sharply. "I do love you, Belle," Rainbow said. "And I love Pilate and I love scampy Kera and Eagle Eye and Props and the rest of the cooly-crazy ponyfolk who fill up this ship and if it weren't for you, I would... I-I mean I wouldn't..." She gnashed her teeth.
Their joint gaze broke as the pegasus shuddered.
"I was n-nothing but a fr-freak before," Rainbow whispered. "A lame freak and a monster. I had blood on my hooves." She gulped. "I st-still do, Belle. But you? You and Pilate? Kera?" A tear squeezed out of Rainbow's eye. "You've somehow hugged it all away. You've given me something to fight for instead of the lame days that I have left to buck off and... and I-I found so much meaning..." She hid her face in a trembling hoof. "I-I thought I'd find death, adventure, and m-maybe even thrills... b-but I never thought I w-would find m-meaning when I started flying..." Her voice came in panting little squeaks. "You know... I-I hope you know that if I die now—and I will die—I'll b-be cool with it, y'know? I can let it happen... before I c-couldn't... but n-now...?"
Belle hugged her fiercely. She kissed the pegasus cheek and nuzzled her deeply. "Live, Rainbow Dash. Live long and live far. I want you to promise me that you'll do everything... to stay on this earth."
Rainbow shuddered, burying her face in Belle's shoulder as her wings drooped behind her. "You g-got a deal, Ding-Dong," she cooed, her teary face breaking forth in a tender smile.