Dear Twilight,
Boot camp went well. I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, but hopefully you’ve calmed down enough to listen.
Do you remember how many times I was left behind, only to see you return battered and bruised from your adventures with the girls? Do you know how much that hurt me, thinking if I was just a little older, maybe a little stronger, you would have let me join you? Whenever you were gone, I laid awake at night.
Now, I have my chance to prove how strong I can be. It’s dangerous, I know. I studied battles whenever you were gone, and I will admit it didn’t help me sleep thinking you were in a similar situation to one a book detailed. But, I’m a dragon, Twilight. I’m tougher than you think, and if I can’t protect those I love, what good am I during these hard times?
I know you, Twilight. You’ll be pouring over scrolls and tomes even now, looking for some answer that doesn’t exist. If it did, Celestia would have known about it. I’m not there to watch over you anymore, so take a break while you read this letter. Go out, meet with your friends, maybe have some lunch if this letter arrives around that time. The library will be there when you get back.
Speaking of, I’m not there to keep it clean, either. I hope you aren’t going crazy looking for a book that’s right in front of you. It’s happened a few times, you know. You never noticed, though.
Now that I think about it, did you ever notice me? On more than one occasion, you ignored the damage you might have inflicted upon me during one of your episodes. I have hard scales, Twilight, but it would have been nice to hear concern come from you when you let books fall on me, or pulled me from a ladder in a mad grab for the book I held.
But none of that matters now. I joined the military to protect you. You, not Equestria. I don’t want you stressed to the point of exhaustion trying to stop this war, Twilight. Heh, though if you do find something, I would welcome it. Celestia knows, I don’t know if I’m ready for battle.
There are things you learn in boot camp, things you didn’t want to know and were too scared to wonder about. I can kill, now, Twilight. And not just with a spear or sword. The general personally saw to it that I was a force to be reckoned with. I saw Shining Armor a few times during my training, and the look in his eyes when he watched me… I don’t know if he’ll ever see me the same way again.
The other recruits didn’t think anything of me, you know. “He’s just a baby dragon,” they’d say. “He couldn’t hold a sword for more than ten minutes.” I had to show them just what I could do, especially after I saw a few of the higher ranked ponies nod in agreement.
Now, it’s been three weeks, and I’m getting prepped for battle. I know the training I received means next to nothing when I step into that battlefield. I know I am the odd one out, and how some of the others are even betting how long I will last. I know just how hard this is going to be, but I can’t drag my feet back home. It wouldn’t be right.
Celestia addressed us yesterday. She confirmed what we already knew, and attempted to raise our spirits. As she spoke, I looked at the others. You know what I saw? Overconfidence, assured victory, and overbearing pride. These recruits don’t know what they will be seeing. Or maybe they know, but don’t know. They can’t see it. But I know, and I’m scared.
They told us during one of our classes. The entire war was explained to us, so we know who we’d be fighting. We might be fighting ponies, Twilight! Other ponies! I could handle diamond dogs, or even griffons, but ponies? I grew up around ponies. I don’t know what I’ll do when I see one fighting against me.
I know this war has brought every species to a head. Dragons, griffins, diamond dogs, ponies, minotaurs, zebras, everyone. Celestia help me, Twilight. But I would say the same for you. You know even more about our situation than they explained to me, and I can’t imagine the pain you must be feeling.
Don’t worry about me. I will fight, and I will protect you. I will come home a hero, no matter how bloodied I must become. Killing others… I know will be a part of this, the biggest even. I hold no reservations about what I am about to do, but I don’t know how I will feel when I do it. Will it change me, Twillight? Will I return a different dragon than you remember? Will you even recognize me?
I think that is why I am ready. The others can’t see what they will do. They think it’s a game. Taking lives isn’t a game, and I nearly beat a recruit into the emergency room for taking such an easy tone about it when I was near. Cannoli stopped me, though, if only barely. It took him and two others, actually.
I know I’m small. From what we’ve gathered, I won’t grow for a long time, or until I start hoarding. I know this, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak. When you think of me, Twilight, don’t think of a babe going into the slaughter. Think of a bull rushing the torero. Because that’s what I want you to see. If I die, I didn’t let it happen. If I live, it’s only because of my training and quick wit.
Oh, you’re probably wondering who Cannoli is. I met him as the recruits were being separated into groups. We share a joy of desserts, and we hit it off pretty well. I will admit I only had you girls to base my actions on, but he seemed to take any faux pas I may have made in stride.
Do you know how the boot camp was structured? At least, here in Canterlot? They separated us into mares and stallions, then each race, for the first week. Then, the groups were rotated to include other races and mares. There were a few incidents, of course, but they were taken care of well enough. I will admit a few of the recruits don’t seem ready in the least, but I also know we only had three weeks to prepare. The guard is barely keeping the line as it is.
I’m rambling.
Remember, Twilight, I will fight to protect you. I will fight to my last breath if I have to, if that will keep you safe. You, not the Elements of Harmony. The others see you as a symbol or tool, but I don’t.
Also, if you see Rarity while you take one of my demanded relaxation moments…. No, nevermind. I’ll tell her myself.
I have to go. Come tomorrow, I’m being shipped to the eastern front, where the griffins await. I’ll write again, I promise. I Pinkie Promise.
Your Number One Assistant,
Spike
P.S. I know how much you enjoy organization, so I’m going to get my thoughts together and start a record of everything. What I learned, some of it can’t be sent with the letters. Security, you see. Whether I come home or not, my experiences will be sent to you at the end of the war. Until then, I hope my letters are good enough.