//------------------------------// // Baking With Pinkie // Story: Your Human and You: Dinky and Locke // by MadMaxtheBlack //------------------------------// “I’m so boooooored~!” Dinky whined, lying across the couch on her back, her head dangling upside down over the edge of the cushion. It was Saturday, which meant that there was no school today, and Dinky was bored out of her little mind. Ditzy peered over the top of her book at her daughter, watching the filly kick her hooves lazily in the air. After several seconds, the mare just chuckled softly and shook her head before returning her attention back to her book. “Mom, there’s nothing to do!” Dinky complained, turning to look at her mother, who, from the little filly’s perspective, was currently sitting on the ceiling. Ditzy hummed thoughtfully as she turned a page, not looking up, “I’m sure you can find something to do, muffin.” Dinky fell silent for several seconds, her face scrunched up cutely as she tried to think of something to do. “Can I set fire to my mattress?” she asked, glancing over at her mother. “No, dear,” Ditzy said calmly, still not looking up from her book. “Can I ride my wagon on the roof?” “No, dear,” Ditzy said again, picking up a mug of coffee sitting on the table beside her and sipping it. Dinky fell silent again, rubbing her chin with a hoof as she thought. Finally, she looked over at her mother and asked, “...can I have a cookie?” Ditzy’s golden eyes flicked up and she glanced over at her daughter. “...No.” Dinky’s ears splayed back and she crossed her forelegs, pouting. Ditzy returned to her book, smiling softly. Silence fell over the room for several minutes before Dinky sighed loudly. “There’s nothing to do!” she cried suddenly, throwing her hooves into the air. “Well,” Ditzy said, turning a page before glancing back up at her daughter. “It’s a beautiful sunny day outside. You could always go outside and play with Locke.” Dinky glanced over at the human in question. On the other side of the room, Locke was spinning slowly in small circles, trying to scratch an itch on his shoulder blade that he just couldn’t reach, goddamn it! Dinky giggled as she watched him, his tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth, his face scrunched up in concentration. Eventually, he simply elected to rub his back against the wall, chirping happily as he did so. “But, mom,” Dinky said, tearing her gaze away from Locke and looking back at her mother, “there’s nothing to do outside!” Ditzy hummed as she continued to read. “I guess you could always go upstairs and do your homework--” SLAM Jerking in surprise, Ditzy looked up and gazed around the room, only to find herself all alone. Glancing at the front door, she saw that the wreath of grey feathers hanging from it was swinging wildly. Chuckling to herself, Ditzy shook her head and returned to her book. “Works every time.” ~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~ “So, what are we going to do today, Dinks?” Locke clung to the back of Dinky’s red wagon as it shot down the street, pushed along by Dinky’s magic. At such a young age, the unicorn didn’t have much magic, but then again, it didn’t take much to move the wagon along. She had just enough that she could cruise around town without much trouble, and she happily used that to her advantage. “Not sure, Locke,” Dinky replied from between the human’s legs. She clung to the wagon's handle, using it to steer as the pair zipped down the road. “But whatever it is, it’s gonna be better than doing homework!” The filly stuck out her tongue, making a disgusted face at the thought of the horrid assignment that Ms. Cheerilee had handed out Friday afternoon. The pair reached the marketplace, which was rather busy considering it was nearing lunch time. Whipping around the corner, the filly and human almost took out Roseluck, who was walking in the opposite direction. The flower pony quickly dived to the side, narrowly avoiding getting run over by the red wagon. Her dive, however, caused her to crash into a nearby stall, spilling its contents all over the ground. “MY CABBAGES!” “Sorry!” Dinky called back over her shoulder, not slowing down as she drove her wagon through the crowd. As she zipped along, the filly glanced back at Locke. “Hey, Locke, I’ve got a question for you.” The human clung gamely onto the wagon, his knuckles white as he tried to remain inside the ride. His stomach was doing backflips as ponies and other humans whipped by in a blur. “What’s that?” “Do you believe in life after death? You know, reincarnation?” Dinky asked, glancing back again. While she was distracted, she nearly took out a pony couple that was walking side by side. They managed to avoid the collision by jumping into the marketplace’s fountain. As the cries of ‘my leg’ faded quickly, Locke swallowed, his eyes wide. “W-why the sudden interest?” “I don’t know,” Dinky said with a shrug. “Just something that I was wondering about.” Locke flinched as the pair nearly took out an apple stand, the orange mare behind it shaking a hoof at them as they flew past. “Less wondering, more steering, okay?” Dinky fell silent, returning her attention to steering her wagon. She was able to weave her way around the rest of the ponies and humans, only nearly wiping out on six different occasions by the time she reached the other side of the marketplace. Ignoring the shouts of the ponies left behind in the dust, the wagon continued off down the road until Dinky suddenly brought it to a screeching halt. As Locke waited for his stomach to catch back up with the rest of his body, the filly stared up at the window of Sugarcube Corner with wide eyes. As she gazed at the assorted sweeties and goodies displayed in the window, a smile slowly spread across her face, “Locke, I know what we’re going to do today!” ~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~ Pinkie Pie was hopping along the road, humming happily to herself. She had just been to Applejack’s farm to place an order with Big McIntosh for some apples for Mrs. Cake. The party pony could almost feel her mouth beginning to water at the thought of the apple pie the Cakes were going to make with the Apple family’s scrumptious apples. Skipping her way along, Pinkie couldn’t help but smile to herself as the sun shone down upon her. Of course, she was always smiling, but that didn’t matter. One could never smile too much, or too wide, in Pinkie’s opinion. Rounding the corner that lead to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie took several hops before she froze in midair, her signature smile vanishing from her face. Her eyes went wide and she leaned her head back, inhaling sharply as she stared down at the horrific sight before her. Somepony had left a cupcake on the ground! She remained like that for several seconds, floating in the air as she stared down at the cupcake, before the pink pony slowly began to float to the ground. The minute her hooves touched down, she trotted forward towards the abandoned treat. “Oh, you poor, poor thing,” she murmured softly to the cupcake, trying to comfort it. “How could anypony do this to you? Shhhh, it’s gonna be okay. Auntie Pinkie's here for you.” Reaching forward, Pinkie made to pick up the cupcake. Her hoof was inches from the sugary treat when it suddenly jerked away. Leaping up, the cupcake flew through the air before tumbling to the ground several feet away. Pinkie’s head whipped around and she stared at the cupcake in confusion, her hoof still hanging in midair. Lowering her hoof, Pinkie tentatively approached the cupcake again, walking slowly as to not spook it. Crouching down, she reached out a hoof again, cooing softly, “It’s okay, little guy. I’m not going to hurt you.” Just like before, when her hoof was a few inches from making contact, the cupcake jumped again, tumbling down the road away from Pinkie. Pinkie’s head jerked up and she glared at the cupcake, her eyes narrowing. Stalking forward, she growled threateningly, “I. Am going. To help you!” Lunging forward, Pinkie made to trap the cupcake beneath her hooves, but it dodged nimbly away. The sugary treat scuttled down the road, the party pony in hot pursuit. “Will. You. Hold. Still.” Pinkie grunted as she hopped along, trying futile to pin the elusive treat. The cupcake didn’t listen, however, and just continued its journey down the road. Eventually, the cupcake came to rest outside of Sugarcube Corner. With a bound, Pinkie landed in front of it. She glared down at the offending treat, her teeth bared. The cupcake just sat there, looking tasty. “Alright, mister,” the party pony said, leaning down till she was eye level with the cupcake. “This is your last chance. Come quietly, or prepare to be consumed!” Pinkie lifted her hoof to grab the cupcake. The minute her hoof left the ground, the cupcake jumped. Pinkie was ready for this, however, and she leapt after the cupcake… ...and smashed face first into the wall of Sugarcube Corner. She slowly slid down the side of the building, a goofy smile on her face as little cupcakes dancing around her head. Above her, perched on the roof of the baker, Locke and Dinky looked down at the dazed pony. “Do you think she’s okay?” Dinky twisted the reel of the fishing rod, giving the line some slack and lowering the cupcake back to the ground. “Of course she is,” she said, chewing on her lip in concentration. “It’s Pinkie Pie!” Sticking out her tongue, the filly’s eyes narrowed as she dangled the cupcake in front of the party pony. “Besides, it’s not my fault she likes cupcakes as much as mom loves muffins.” Dinky’s eyes widened suddenly, and she jerked the fishing rod up quickly. WHAM “And mom did tell us to go find something to do,” the filly continued as she lowered the cupcake again. A few seconds later, she jerked the fishing rod up again… WHAM ...and the building shook again. As she lowered the cupcake for a third time, she turned and smirked at Locke, “I didn’t see you complaining when we did it to the veterinarian.” “Yeah, well, she deserved it.” Locke lay on his stomach, peering over the edge of the roof. “Besides,” Dinky said. “If anypony can appreciate a good prank, it’s PinkiiIIIEEEEE PIEEEEEEAYH!!!!” Dinky screamed as the line of the fishing rod suddenly went taunt. With a jerk, it pulled her forward the edge of building. Her hooves scraped against the shingles as she scrambled to remain on the roof. It was useless gesture, however, and with a squeak of dismay, Dinky was yanked off the roof and into open air. As she tumbled through the air, she was dimly aware of something wrapping itself around her body. Closing her eyes, she waited for the impact. Several seconds later, she landed with a thud on something surprisingly squishy. She heard a low groan, and the ground beneath her vibrated. Opening her eyes, Dinky looked down and blinked in surprise. Beneath her, Locke gazed up at the sky, his eyes rolling in his head and Dinky sat upon his stomach. She realized with a start that Locke had jumped off the roof after her, catching her in midair and cushioning her fall. “Where did you two come from?” Glancing over, Dinky saw Pinkie sitting there, a large smile on her face as she chewed happily. The string dangling from her mouth told Dinky the fate of the cupcake. Pinkie continued chewing, eyeing the prone pair as she waited for an answer. “W-well, you see…” Dinky began, her ears splaying backwards. Her eyes darted back and forth as she tried to quickly come up with an excuse. Pinkie watched the filly fidget nervously for a few seconds before her eyes widened and she gasped loudly, the string falling from her mouth, now devoid of sugary treat. “Were you two chasing that cupcake too?!” Dinky just stared blankly up at Pinkie, blinking occasionally. “...wat?” “And I just ate it without knowing!” Pinkie continued, oblivious to the filly's confusion “Oh, I’m such a terrible pony! You probably hate me now!” Pinkie’s ears splayed back, and her eyes began to tear up as she looked down at the filly. “Now you’ll never want to go to any of my parties ever again.” The party pony sat there, her lower lip trembling as a confused Dinky and dazed Locke tried to figure out what to say (or in Locke’s case, figure out why the birdies wouldn’t leave him alone). Suddenly, Pinkie perked up and her frown transformed into a smile as her tears disappeared. “I know,” she cheered happily, clapping her hooves together. “I’ll make it up to you by showing you how to make your own cupcakes! Then you’ll like me again and come to my parties!” “...wat?” That was all Dinky could get out before both her and Locke were immediately pulled into Sugarcube Corner by the energetic pink pony. ~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~ Dinky and Locke glanced around at the bakery’s kitchen, trying to figure out how they got there. One minute they were in the alleyway outside Sugarcube Corner, then there was a whirlwind of pink, sugar, and laughter, and the next thing they knew, they were standing in the kitchen with aprons and chef’s hats on their heads. Dinky looked up at Locke, and cocked her head to the side, “...wat?” Locke just shrugged, glancing around the kitchen in wonder. They both jumped in surprise as Pinkie suddenly popped up from behind the kitchen’s island, a large smile on her face, her own chef's hat askew upon her head. “Everpony loves cupcakes, right?” she asked, glancing between the two. “Well, today I’m going to show you how to make your own!” Giggling, Pinkie pulled out a rolled up tablecloth. Placing it on the island, she gave it a flick of her wrist. It unrolled, revealing a bunch of ingredients hidden inside. As Dinky read some of the labels on the ingredients, her face scrunched up in confusion. There was Moon Rock Salt, Cloud Mist, Sense of Joy, Nods, Sweeps, Beeps, Deeps, Sneeps, Reeps, Winks, Memories, Laughter, Lightning, Volcano Spice, Father’s Pride, Mountain Air, Needle Eyes, Smiles, Love, Salt, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Arsenic, and a large jar with a strange red substance in it, whose label simple read ‘RD’. And that was to just name a few. “Okay,” Pinkie chirped, snapping Dinky out of her daze. She looked up from the ingredients, giving Pinkie a baffled look. Pinkie just looked down at her and smiled. “To save time, I’ve already gathered all the ingredients we'll need. Now, remember: the hardest part about this is gonna be finding an angel and then making it cry.” As she spoke, Pinkie picked up one of the ingredients: a thin bottle filled with a light blue liquid. As Dinky and Locke watched, jaws agape, Pinkie began to throw a bunch of the ingredients into a large bowl, rambling off a list of things they need to do in order to make their own cupcakes. In between instructions, Pinkie hummed happily to herself, bobbing her head from side to side. Once she had all the ingredient she wanted into the bowl, Pinkie pulled a large mixer out from beneath the island. Placing it on the counter, Pinkie then pulled out a pair of safety goggles and hearing protection and put them on. Grabbing the pull starter on the side of the mixer in her teeth, Pinkie yanked her head back, pulling on it hard. With a roar and a puff of smoke, the mixer whirled to life. Dinky and Locke quickly covered their ears, scrunching up their faces in pain at the loud noise. As Pinkie mixed, she looked over at the pair. “Now, remember,” she said, shouting to be heard over the engine of her industrial mixer. “If you are going to be making Choco-Explosion Cupcakes, you wanna go ahead and add two dashes of an autumn breeze, and half a human’s shriek!” Shutting off her mixer, Pinkie quickly poured the cake mix into a couple of cupcake pans. When she finished doing that, she turned and cranked the knobs on the oven all the way around. With a loud ‘whoomph’, the oven sprang to life. Grabbing the cupcake pans, Pinkie cracked the oven’s door open and tossed them inside, quickly closing the door as flames leapt out of the oven. She stood there, whistling happily for several seconds before she grabbed a pair of oven mitts. Flinging the door open, Pinkie plunged into the ensuing eruption of fire and heat. She emerged, slightly singed, with the cupcake pans in her hooves. Slamming the oven door shut with her flank, she placed the smoking pans onto the heat-resistant countertop. Fling off the oven mitts, the party pony turned and gave Dinky and Locke a large smile, “And we are done!” The pair stood there, their mouths on the ground as they stared at Pinkie in awe and horror. Dinky blinked several times as her young mind tried to process what she had just seen. Little did she know that her mind would never be able to understand what it had just witnessed; greater minds than hers had tried and failed. Glancing over at Locke, the filly saw that he had given up trying to understand what was going on and was eyeing some of the ingredients, a hungry look on his face. “Now,” Pinkie chirped as she picked up the pans. “It’s time for us to enjoy our delicious cupca – AH! I MADE GOLD AGAIN!!!” As Pinkie threw her hooves up in anger, Dinky stood up on her hind legs, placing her forelegs on the countertop as she tried to get a look at the pans. Instead of cupcakes, burnt or otherwise, the pans were full with what looked like gold coins. As Pinkie raged about the failed dish, Dinky stared at the gold with a blank expression, blinking in confusion as she eyed the sparkling coins. That doesn't even make sense... Sighing, she dropped down onto all fours, her hooves clicking against the linoleum floor. Pulling her chef’s hat off her head, Dinky tossed it on the ground, followed closely by her apron. “Come on, Locke,” she said, heading for the door. “Let’s get out of here. It’s too strange for me.” Locke nodded, removing his cooking apparel as he followed after the filly. As the bakery door closed behind them, they heard Pinkie cry out, “WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS GOLD?!” Dinky just stood in front of the bakery, staring off into the distance. Locke glanced down at her, cocking his head to the side. “Dinks, you alright?” The filly didn’t answer for several seconds. “If anypony asks,” she finally said. “She was like that before we pranked her.” ~ ~ ~ ~ > > < < ~ ~ ~ ~ The pair zoomed down the country road in Dinky’s wagon, heading for White Tail Woods. The sun was beginning to sink in the sky, and the air was starting to cool slightly as day slowly made way for night. Trying to get away from Pinkie, the pair decided to take a spin through White Tail Woods before heading home for the day. As Dinky propelled the wagon along, she glanced back at her companion. Now that they weren’t in danger of crashing into a pony, human, or stand, Locke looked like he was actually beginning to enjoy the ride. “I wish this wagon had some way to measure its speed, like the trains have,” Dinky called back to him. “That way we could know how fast we’re going.” Locke scratched his chin, looking thoughtful. “Well, I suppose we could always just measure the road, time our journey, calculate our rate in hooves per minute, and convert that into miles per hour.” “That sounds like math,” Dinky deadpanned. “Um, yes…” “Suddenly, I stopped caring,” Dinky said. The pair fell silent, choosing instead to enjoy the scenery as it flashed by. As they rounded a bend in the path, the road took a sudden dip, causing the wagon to pick up speed. As the wagon rolled down the hill, Dinky spoke up. “Hey, Locke?” “Hmm?” “How long do you think it is till bedtime?” The human looked around at the trees flashing passed, thinking. “Oh, four or five hours, I imagine… why do you ask?” “Do you think with any luck, mom will notice we’re missing by then?” Locke blinked at the question, glancing forward in confusion. It took his brain a second to realize what he was seeing, and when it did, the human’s eyes widened. He barely had time to yelp before the wagon reached the end of the hill, launched into the air, and flew off the edge of a cliff.