//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: A Vengeful Heart // Story: Our Pasts That Haunt Us // by Dynasty-Kaine //------------------------------// Loud sounds of thrashing and destruction but moments ago had filled the room that a single she gryphon occupied. It was a small apartment building in the lands of the Gryphon Confederacy capital city. Wallpaper slashed through with deep talon marks, papers scattered about, picture frames tossed across the room now laying shattered, the room darkened from the lights being smashed forcibly, and the bed sheets slashed up by the same talon marks that scored the walls. The she gryphon now stood in the doorway leading out to the balcony looking out at the setting sun. She was standing there in the nude, still breathing heavily from her rampage a moment earlier. She kept trying to forget Rainbow Dash, but no matter what she did she couldn't let her go. Even though things had ended the way they did last time, she felt it didn't really mean anything. There was and always would be something special between her and Dash. Couldn't that dweeb see that was why she was being so overly protective of her, it was all for her own good. Time and time again the gryphon found herself wanting to go back to Ponyville to see the one she cared for so much it hurt. With what had transpired last time though she was quite sure she would never be happily welcomed back. Dash had even told her to leave, and that still made her feel like her world had been shattered into a thousand pieces. She gritted her teeth and said, "Oh Dashie why did you have to go and do that to me, with everything we had been through. You would think that we would have gone farther..." She growled and continued, "Grr...C'mon Gilda get your head straight these thoughts aren't getting us anywhere." The brown plumage from her neck down began to fluff up as the agitation inside her once again started to rise. The gryphoness was on the edge of a complete mental break with reality, and she was slowly losing her control. Her anger seemed to be all she had left now days, all she wanted was to make every-pony that Rainbow cared about disappear so there would just be them again. Just like their days at the Junior Flight Academy, when they had been young, foolish, and what Gilda would call in love. She raised her arm and put her hand over her face as a memory started to creep into her mind. She didn't want the memory to come forward, she wanted it to go away right now. She began to grip at her forehead with great strength, and consequently enough began bleeding from her talons at the tips of her fingers digging into her flesh. It took all Gilda had to suppress the memory, and usually the pain would do the trick for her. She forgot that a lot of physical pain you can easily develop a tolerance to, and therefore it wasn't as effective as it had been weeks ago. She doubled over and stumbled backwards toward the bed. Even though she was usually good at keeping herself in check, of late it felt like she was slipping more and more every day. She landed on the bed and quickly curled up into a tight ball, her eyes tightly shutting as the memories flooded back into her mind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She and Dash were at the academy, and were talking about the usual girl gossip in the room that they shared. In this case the subject had been guys, and Gilda had long since developed a strong sense of distaste for males. Her friend though was just so curious about everything involved about that sort of thing; it must have been nice living such a life of innocence. "So Gilda what are male gryphons like? Do they act the same way as colts do, or do they act different at all?" the rainbow maned mare asked eagerly. "Eh, I guess so. Minor differences here and there, but that's expected when we are different species after all..." Gilda deflected. "Oh come on you never seem to want to talk about guys! It's like you have no interest in guys at all, isn't that abnormal for girls our age?" "So innocent and so naive..." the gryphon mumbled before stating with a shrug, "Eh well I guess but I've never been too normal have I Dashie?" She gave a playful nudge to the cyan mare, who returned with a shove back to her friend. Within a few moments they were playfully wrestling on the floor. Gilda worked hard to keep the upper hand on Rainbow as they tumbled about, and after a short amount of time they stopped wrestling. The gryphoness had pinned the pony girl beneath her finally, only stopping cause they had run out of breath and energy. It felt like static was charging through her feathers as she looked down into her friends magenta eyes. "What is this I'm feeling?" she thought to herself with worry. "What's up Gilda you look upset." Rainbow Dash broke into her thoughts. "N-Nothing!" She said taking a hand from the mare below her to scratch the back of her head sheepishly, "Not like you would know anything about it anyways..." "Would too!" the cyan mare yelled as she now pressed the advantage of her free arm rolling the she gryphon beneath her, "At least I think I do." "Dash how could you know anything about it, you're still so innocent and naive about a lot of things." Gilda said with a laugh. The mare stared back into the gryphon's eyes defiantly and said, "Fine if I really know nothing about it, then why don't you teach me about it?" Gilda swallowed hard at what the girl on top of her had just asked. The pony had no idea what her friend was talking about and yet she so brazenly walked into it. In her mind the gryphoness couldn't be entirely upset with this outcome, but was it right of her to do it was the real question. "I-I can't do that Dash." She replied finally looking away from her friend now. "Wait why not?" "Just because. If you don't know what it is already; then you've lived a much nicer life than me." "What are you talking about Gilda, you're not making any sense." Gilda grimaced in pain and strength flowed through her as she pushed Rainbow Dash off of her. She got up and climbed up into the bed by herself. "Hey, what the hay was that for Gilda?" the cyan mare shouted irritated at her friend, "Stop pushing me away! I'm your friend Gilda, why can't you just talk to me for once?" Gilda rounded on her friend anger on her face tears welling up in her eyes, "You want to know what I think of guys? I think they are all filthy, dirty, scumbags and that they should all rot in the deepest darkest dungeons of the world!" Her friends jaw dropped in a breathless scream; she looked absolutely horrified but didn't say a single word. Instead she covered her mouth with her hand since she apparently lacked the ability to close her mouth herself. "Now I suppose you wanna hear exactly why I feel this way?" she asked with fury in her voice. Rainbow looked dismayed at bringing this up at all, "I-I'm sorry Gilda I didn't mean--" "It all started with my good for nothing father. As you know my mom died giving birth to me, and he always hated me for taking her from him. As I grew up he made sure to make it as hard as he could on me flogging me down almost daily for even the slightest thing. As time went by and my body began to develop and change, so did the way he treated me." "Oh my gosh Gilda you don't mean that he..." the mare said walking over to her friend. "Yeah that's exactly what happened. He would come home drunk off his ass and he would come on to me rather than hit me. It scared me at first, but then I realized that for once he wasn't beating me. Though all too quickly did I realize what he was doing now was also wrong; touching me where he shouldn't." The thought seeped back into her mind vividly, and it caused her to blush. She was ashamed of what she was about to admit to her friend. The tears now streaming down her face she did what she could to speak clearly through her beak. "It was just touchy feely between us for the first month, and I-I...I started to actually enjoy it after a while. It just felt so good, even though I had no idea what was going on or what it was. After that first month it changed, he got more and more aggressive with his behavior. Until finally one day he came home drunk and angry. He stormed into my room and there were no usual foreplay rituals just the concept of, 'I have wants and you're going to fulfill them.' He came at me and ripped my shirt, bra pants, and underwear all off." Rainbow Dash now sat at her friends side, wrapping a comforting arm around Gilda. "Go on Gil, let it all out now." Rainbow gently cooed to her friend. She turned into the crook of her friends shoulder and continued, "He wrestled me onto my bed where he pinned me down and positioned himself between my legs. He put a hand to my neck practically choking me as he reached down with his other to undo his own pants. I lost my virginity that day, to my own father!" The gryphon was an emotional wreck at this point, but now enveloped in Dash's arms she wasn't afraid of showing what she felt. She looked up into her friends eyes, and without fear or hesitation she leaned up to kiss the mare on her lips. Dash's eyes at first went wide with shock, but quickly softened as the feeling sank in. When their lips parted Dash spoke first. "So has that sort of thing happened since you ran away from home?" "Three more times, with guys who lead me to believe they were genuinely good guys that were worth a shot. Only to turn around and do exactly what my father did, one of which was a stallion." It was then something unexpected happened, Dashie leaned in and pecked lightly at Gilda's lips a few times. "Then you're attracted to girls? You could have told me you didn't like our conversations about guys. We could always talk about the girls in the academy you find cute." "Well there's you Dashie." the gryphoness replied her cheeks flushed and hot. The cyan mare's cheeks lit up a rosy red very quickly at this comment, and she looked away. "Quit kidding around Gilda..." She leaned up and nuzzled Dash's face forward again before planting a deep kiss upon her soft lips. When they parted this time Gilda was first to speak, "I wasn't kidding you dweeb." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The gryphon snapped out of her memory for a brief moment uncurling herself from the ball she had rolled into. She put both hands upon her temple gripping tightly her talons instantly sinking into her skin again. She then began to slowly drag them from her scalp down the fur on her face blood welling out of the wounds she left on herself. Gilda arched her body upwards toward the ceiling as the pain began to hit her system. "AH, GOD MAKE IT STOP! I CAN'T TAKE THESE MEMORIES! STOP TORMENTING ME PLEASE! I'LL BE A GOOD GIRL FROM NOW ON JUST PLEASE...MAKE..IT..STOP!!!" She screamed out in pain. The memories were just too much for her to bear anymore. The only pony that had ever mattered in her life, the only one she had ever trusted enough to tell her tragic secret to, didn't want to ever see her again. Ever. She couldn't even imagine being held by any other gryphon or pony's arms, she only desired Rainbow Dash. Gilda didn't even want to get started with the thought of another holding HER Rainbow Dash. The blood had quickly spread across her face, tears now joining the mixture. She didn't feel like herself anymore. She felt like she was falling from a great height and couldn't slow or stop the plummet that would end in her inevitable death. She curled back up into the fetal position closing her eyes tight again, the memory continuing onward as if punishing her for being alive. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Not to be inconsiderate, but where do we go from here?" Rainbow Dash asked looking into the gryphon's eyes hesitantly. Gilda blushed, she knew exactly where she wanted it to go at this point. "Well Dashie, where would you like it to go? I already know I want to go forward, but I...I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." "I..Well, that is I've never done anything like this with anyone ever before." the mare said looking up at the ceiling nervously. The gryphon leaned up and nipped at Dash's neck lightly before saying, "I'll treat you right Dashie, I promise you that. Just lay back more on the bed if you want to continue." At first her friend didn't react and Gilda felt a sadness quickly grip her heart. It looked like Dash's fears would outweigh her today. All of a sudden she looked down to the gryphoness and said softly, "Okay lets do this then Gil, but remember you're just teaching me about what this is and how it feels kay? So take it slow alright?" The emotion that swelled inside her heart showed with the smile that spread across her face. She got up from the bed to give her friends some space to move around. Rainbow was blushing bright red as Gilda turned to look at her; the cyan mare then crawled around the bed to get into a more comfortable laying position for her coming lesson. Once she was sure Dash was comfortable she crawled up onto the bed and on top of her friend, and began caressing and tasting every pleasure her friend could offer. The memory faded out to black all of a sudden and skipped ahead to the ending. After Gilda had satisfied her friend and taught Rainbow how to do the same for her, they both lay upon the bed panting heavily still lost in the ecstasy of the feeling in their bodies. Their arms wrapped around one another in a mutual embrace, holding each other close, their foreheads touching softly. "Th-That was amazing Gilda. I didn't know I could feel this good at another girls touch." the rainbow maned mare mused gently. "Yeah I know. I didn't think you would do as well as you did for your first time, you're a fast learner." the gryphon said gently but impressed. "Well I am the most awesome pony there ever was after all." Dash boasted. "I guess so Dashie. Hey, do you think we could just cuddle here tonight...in my bed?" Gilda asked rubbing her friends back lightly with one hand. "That sounds good to me Gilda. Come here and lay in my arms for a while." The gryphon smiled and replied, "With pleasure, Dashie." As she snuggled into Rainbow Dash's embrace the memory quickly began to fade away again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "NO, NO DON'T LET IT END AGAIN!" Gilda screamed out as her eyes shot open she sat bolt upright. She always hated it when the memory ended, it left her feeling hollow and cold. The look in her eye became very distant as reality set back in; it almost looked like her eyes were dead. The memory of what her father had done to her had been satisfied a short time after her incident with Rainbow Dash. The last bit she remembered from that though was standing before the thrashed up body of her father, his manhood cleaved from his body lay upon the floor. It had been at this time Gilda became aware of her instability, and was quite fearful of it. She didn't have those nightmares anymore because of what she had done, and it was times like right now when she felt absolutely hollow that she did not fear falling away. Pain didn't exist when she felt like this, when she felt nothing at all. She had hated her father, but she loved Rainbow Dash and she wasn't about to let it slip away. She would make her friend see that they needed one another desperately, and if not then she would make sure they would die together. "Yeah that's what I'll do. I'll go back and make her understand why we should be together forever. It's not like she would be with..." Gilda stopped mid sentence realizing what she was saying. What if Rainbow had found someone else in the time Gilda hadn't been there to feed her loving heart. Gilda's expression darkened, a sadistic smile quickly spreading across her face as she declared, "Then I'll simply make that pony or gryphon disappear...permanently." She got up from the bed and casually walked to the dresser, opened the drawer, reached inside, and grabbed a small pouch of bits. It was all she would need to do what she had to in Ponyville. She went to the closet to get dressed for her coming trip quickly getting on a black silk bra and panties. She was always amazed that she had been blessed with a rather buxom bosom, although it was a curse as well causing men to stare at them quite often. Some part of her took a sick pleasure in the thought of their eyes undressing her slowly, and she never understood fully why. She shook the thought from her head as she reached for a tight fitting, low cut, black v-neck t-shirt. She pulled that over her head then reached for a pair of pants laying on the ground idly. They were a very comfortable fit for her even if they were tight and form fitting, they still gave her amazing flexibility. Another thing she was surprised about was that with these pants her butt was extremely well defined, and had gotten her quite a few looks as well. Her tail swished side to side happily as she looked in the mirror at her backside, very pleased that the black denim pants did what they were supposed to. "Dash won't be able to resist me when she sees me again. I bet her wings will flutter at just the sight of this!" Gilda said laying a hand on her ass seductively. She walked off to the balcony spreading her wings she crouched to take off, and in one mighty leap was air bound. With only a few flaps of her wings she was quickly hurdling towards her destination, Ponyville. She would have Rainbow Dash, even if it meant they both had to die to be together. The moon had risen and was about halfway through the sky this evening, and though Gilda hated to admit it, the trip to Ponyville would take at least a day. "Watch out Rainbow Dash, I'm coming back to take you away from all those crazy ponies. They have deluded your mind long enough!" Gilda declared defiantly as she flew off into the distance.