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// Bonus, Wub a Dub Du"Take a bath HIPPIE!!" 
// Story: Lost, in the heat of battle. (tf2, Anthro mlp crossover) 
// by heavy weapons brony 
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	Soldier ran through the streets of ponyville looking for a place to hide. Soldier hid behind a  low wall in the center of town, He took a moment to gather himself until he heard a low deep beat the made his helmet ring and his teeth loosen from his gums. Soldier covered his ears, trying to resist the deadly weapon the Hippies had obviously planted for him. the beats continued. He couldn’t stand it, if he expected to live he would have to take out their secret weapon. Soldier pinpointed the sound to a nearby house, the lasers and and flashing lights had it obvious that the structure was some sort of military research facility. Soldier looked through the window and saw the most disgusting display imaginable. A large crowd was gathered in the house, all of them had the most disrespectful hair cuts imaginable. Hippies where drinking, and dancing to horrific noise emitting from the house. Soldier was confused on how the canadians conducted weapons research, but by the state of his ear drums. He was entirely convinced that it was working. Soldier knew that this was a key strategic target and must be taken out.


Soldier went through the front door, shotgun in hand. No one noticed him as he walked halfway through the house into the living room that was full of partying Hippies and table fulls of booze and snacks.There he saw what was making the god awful noises, twin stacks of speakers and subwoofers lined a small stage at the far side of the room. A full DJ table stood between the stacks, but is was what was behind the DJ table that truly made Soldier’s blood boil, A female Hippie stood over the sound equipment, bobbing her head to the beat. She wore big bright blue headphones and hid most of her face behind a pair of purple-bluish sunglasses, But what was worst of all, was her haircut, twin tone cyan and cobalt blue done up in spikes. Soldiers grip on his shotgun tightened so much it turned his knuckles white. His vision turned red like a bull watching a bullfighter. He sat there breathing heavily with anger when a hippie dancing to the musing bumped into him, both where stricken from each others dazes, the Hippie gave Soldier a look he didn’t like.


Soldier raised his weapon and fired, knocking the hippie to the wall where she slid to the floor and slumped over, knocked dead out. The music abruptly stopped with the sound of a record scratch. All eyes in the room met Soldier, The DJ lifted her glasses and gave a look of of contempt, She’d seen enough guys like Soldier to know exactly what he wanted.”Let me guess,..Don’t like dubstep do you?” She said lazily. Disrespect did NOT help Soldier mood, He cocked his shotgun and growled as the spent shell skittered across the floor. “Missy, Do I Look like I goose step?” Soldier growled staring daggers and the uninterested DJ. “Okay, i'm a pony pleaser, lets see how you like these Tunes”. While Soldier wonder what she meant by “tunes” Most of the Hippies in the room either Bolted or took cover. Soldier raised a eyebrow as he looked back to the DJ who had produced some sort of large barrel that was pointing directly at him. The DJ was fiddling with various instruments while the noise of something powering up filled the air. “What in the name if Gorge S. Roosevelt's beard is that?”


The DJ looked up and said “Oh its just my,...you know,...thing,....that,.. i Use,..i call it,.. peppy,....but i also,,... have been known,....to,..call,...this thing right here,.....mah,.............BASS CANNON!” The DJ slammed a red lever on the side of the device as a jet of bright blue concentrated wubs fired through the air. Soldier dived to one side missing the beam, but his ears still exploded with pain as he hit the floor. Soldier looked up completely Shell Shocked as the DJ pounded away at her console and the “bass cannon” started to changing. From the large end of the barrel, multiple barrels poked out in a round pattern. Soldier knew exactly what was happening as he got up and vaulted over a snack table, the barrels started to spin, Soldier spilled the medal table over using it as cover and fully automatic wub fire started pounding the table.


Soldier tried to think as wubs reverberated of the table deafening him, Soldier quickly dug through the Spytech bag containing numerous weapons and tools made by Mann.co, Soldier pulled out the spy’s sapper and turned it on, Soldier threw it over his shoulder and waited. A millisecond later the wubs ceased, Soldier stood up from behind the table. the “Bass Cannon” was now covered in sparks and arcs of electricity. Soldier pulled out the demoman's grenade launcher, he fired a single grenade with a satisfying “bloop!” The grenade arced through the air and collided with the “bass cannon.” 


The Explosion was so loud and deadly neither Soldier, the DJ, or any of the partying hippies heard it. A bright white flash later Soldier stood their with the grenade launcher still in his hands. His face burned, full of scorches and black streaks from the explosion. the next thing he noticed was the roof was gone and the house was mostly destroyed. Soldier quietly marched up to the mangled collection of metal and sound equipment and found the DJ lying on the ground, She wasn't hurt much nor was she unconscious, she had her eyes wide open and she was paralyzed with shock and amazement. Soldier, Without a word dug through his pockets and pulled out one of the things a man should never leave home without, a battery powered shaver. Soldier bend over and cut a great deal of the DJ’s hair off. he left it short and then used a bit of wire he ripped out of the sound mixing console and wrapped her hair neatly into a respectable bun. Soldier lifted his shotgun over one Shoulder and looked down at the DJ he searched his coat once more and pulled out a bottle of Rockin RED soda and a small 45 rpm record single. Soldier went to a less destroyed part of the console where a turntable survived. Soldier lifted the record on the turntable and flicked it out a gaping hole in the wall. Soldier then put on his own record, he selected Side A . He pressed the button labed normal play, and the needle skittered to life and fell on the record. Soldier turned it to a volume that wouldn't bother anyone, Then he popped off the cap of the soda with the edge of the console and sipped the soda as he and the barely conscience DJ enjoyed some “Real” Good tunes.