Step 2
Diamond Tiara, On Enemy Territory
As far as bad days were concerned, Apple Bloom was just one thing short of ranking this one among the five worst she had to live through, ever. In a way, she would have loved this one more to happen, since it would mean that would mean she could finally put out that time she and her friends had played dress-up in Carousel Boutique. She could instead just pretend it never happened.
The day had started out well-enough. Up above Ponyville, the sun had laughed as it coated the land with mild temperatures and a clear sky had reigned throughout. Truly, as she had woken up, Apple Bloom had only barely been able to hold back the tears of happiness, for today had been a day without school. A rare weekend of three or four days, a chance for social activity and more than twelve hours of crusading around town. If she had ever considered herself luck, this must have been the day for it.
They had spent the majority of the day running around Ponyville, doing stuff like provoking bees to see who’d run away the quickest, selling melons for discounts previously unseen in Equestria, and serving the mayor as bodyguards. Then in the afternoon they had tried to liven up the tavern as bards, singing some jolly tunes about soldiers, lassies an’ cider, but had sadly been kicked out because neither had shown any clear talent with the fiddle. As they asked if they could at least fix the windows, steam had started to come out of Berry Punch’s ears. Now they were forbidden from entering the grounds.
That had been how the mighty crusaders’ fall from grace had started. The second thing had been when Rarity walked up to them and held some botched test before her younger sister’s face, demanding to know how one managed to mess up basic grammar. While the debate about moral rights and wrongs concerning the grammatical structuring of sentences had been something that would’ve made the sages of old weep with joy, it hadn’t ended well for Sweetie. The sweet lass’ was probably locked away in a far off tower, with the dragon teaching her comma rules.
Apple Bloom at least hoped that Sweetie could enlighten her about that on a later date.
Yet, with Sweetie gone it went from bad to worse as a creature shrouded in darkness had come upon their land and turned their clubhouse into its fortress of evil. Apple Bloom still remembered its armor of black steel and its flowing red mantle. It’s roaring laughter had echoed across the acres and left them standing there on the ground, wondering what to do.
In the end they had decided to go and tell Dinky’s mom that her raving mad daughter had taken their clubhouse, but that had been foiled when presented with the moral dilemma of becoming snitches. Honestly, between moral lessons learned and personal hubris, the hubris simply had to win out. Despite, Dinky was the kind of filly who spent her days conquering different locations with an imaginary army, hardly ever staying put. Her annexing the clubhouse would do her little good unless she somehow got the deed for the land, and that was sealed in a vault beneath Barn#4. Nopony would ever reach it.
Yet. that thought hadn’t done much to cheer her up, because as she and Scootaloo turned towards her home, laughing about how they’d have an awesome sleepover where they would do cool stuff like playing board games and spend time with Apple Bloom’s family the bad news befell them. Or rather, they came across Granny Smith who just returned from finishing her own stuff in town. Apple Bloom didn’t really know what Granny Smith did all day, but it was probably just that, old people stuff. Old people stuff was boring and not worthy of her attention.
“Ya know, considerin’ half the time you talk about school ya keep rantin’ about Filthy’s kid, ya seem really happy,” Granny Smith had said as they approached the farm, just after Apple Bloom had told her all the stuff she wanted to do in the evening.
Apple Bloom hadn’t understood what Granny Smith had meant, but she was an old pony and therefore talked nonsense sometimes. She had heard from various sources that old ponies did that sometimes, and Granny Smith hadn’t made much sense when she’d been younger. Truthfully, Apple Bloom had wanted to ask about the statement anyway, but the answer came without any words and could’ve been likened to an anvil dropping on her head.
It was one of the world’s truths that a pony named Filthy Rich couldn’t possibly be father to a saint. As a matter of fact, he was father to one of the most despicable ponies Apple Bloom knew. His daughter was arrogant, greedy, self-absorbed, obnoxious, and she was evil incarnate. That filly could be likened to a devil, a creature of such vileness that it could not possibly be held in the same esteem as any other pony. Yes, the beast named Diamond Tiara was the worst thing in Apple Bloom’s life and, by that logic, the one thing she enjoyed to never see much of after school.
“So, that’s why Diamond Tiara’s stayin’ over here for the weekend,” Applejack ended her announcement.
The sheer glee with which she had greeted her sister and the way she had explained the situation, Apple Bloom was almost tempted to think that her sister enjoyed the sheer surprise it produced.
“Ya told her that yesterday,” Granny Smith said with a bored expression.
“Ah did?”
“She did?”
All Diamond Tiara did during that exchange was stare between the three, silently questioning how much of a resolve she packed to endure this much northern accent. Probably not, but if Celestia willed it, she would endure. She didn’t really care for their petty arguments, and remained glad that Apple Bloom had only decided to appear late into the afternoon. That had given her time to prepare a strategy. Now nothing could stand against her.
“Well, doesn’t really matter. It’s been settled an’ unless you wan’ poor, little Diamond Tiara to sleep on tha street tonight, then–”
“That’s an option?” Apple Bloom burst out immediately, before Diamond Tiara had the chance to react. She had thought exactly the same thing, until her arch nemesis had spelled it out. Now she was just intent on staring daggers at her.
“Wha’? No, no. Of course it’s not. Ah was appealin’ to yer sense of integrity. Ya know, the one we Apples been pridin’ ourselves with fer generations?”
“Well ah think it shows great integrity towards ponies like Lyra tha’ there’s new company on the streets,” Apple Bloom answered swiftly.
“First: Lyra got herself a home recently, so ah don’t know what you’re insinuatin’, an’ two: Bein’ homeless is no joke. We Apples were homeless fer generations, and that had to be the worst time we e’er lived through, as Granny Smith will gladly tell ya.”
Granny Smith nodded sagely. “Ah remember it well. Free like birds we used to be.”
“See!” Applejack pointed with her hoof at the elderly pony, “She’s been heavily traumatized by it! So Ah want’cha to go an’ apologize to all the homeless ponies in Ponyville.”
“Now?” Applebloom whined, with Scootaloo just standing beside her and trying to figure out what was going on with this conversation.
“No, not now,” Diamond Tiara finally said. “I was promised pie, not a discussion on how bad it is to be poor.”
That was the only thing that was keeping her sane for now, the promised time upon which she could consume her pastries and forget about the miserable state the world, or rather her world, was in. Everypony else just looked at her for another second, completely dragged out of their rhythm. While this might have ended up as a bad thing, the timing was just perfect enough, so that at least Applejack would nod.
“Alright, pie is always good. And while we’re talkin’ about that, where’s Sweetie Belle, didn’t she want to stay over too?”
Scotaloo was the one who answered, “Rarity took her home.”
While Tiara could have actually embraced her for the absence of any accent, the young pegasus only glared at her, as if it was somehow her fault that the last of the cutie mark naggers wasn’t going to be available tonight. Honestly, it was one less annoyance to be dealt with so she should’ve been thankful. At least they would finally get down to dinner.
The key problem with staying at the house of a pony nopony with any kind of standing would like was finding things to like. It was one of the hardest things for Diamond Tiara to not simply dismiss whatever was put in front of her, even if they promised pie. While Diamond Tiara was fully aware that the Apples did have more tables hidden in the barn in case of a feast, she was also quite sure that their regular table was too small by half. The dishes alone took up so much space that they couldn’t even fit the pie on it. Were they just cheap or had the money honestly not been enough for a proper table.
She left that question unanswered as got her first slice served and grabbed knife and fork with the best elegance she could summon, leaving a stark contrast with her surroundings. There was a definite lack of class, especially as Diamond Tiara compared herself to her lovely seat neighbour Scootaloo. While Diamond Tiara could appreciate her speaking like any normal pony, just looking at her not even using her hooves to eat the pie, spattering bits and pieces of it around filled her with a disgust.
“Can’t you eat normally?” She asked Scootaloo, immediately hating herself for starting a conversation with the blank flank.
The pegasus looked up. “What’s it to you? At least I’m eating,” she said with a frown on her face.
“Well, you’re not helping my appetite.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “You mean if I eat like this?” And leaned down once more, taking a slow bite out of the pie.
Bits fell out of her mouth as she slowly chewed, smacking her lips while doing so. Diamond Tiara took quick notice that everypony around the table had gone quiet and looked at Scootaloo, and Diamond knew that kind of look they had in their eyes. Score, was all she could think off.
“Scootaloo, stop eatin’ so noisily. We’re not pigs, ya know,” Granny Smith intoned, causing the Pegasus to drop her head.
“Yes,” she said quietly.
And it was all Diamond Tiara could do not to break out into a song and dance number about how much her manners exceeded those of her enemies. Since that would’ve not gone over well, she decided to just give Scootaloo a smug smile before she put a piece of pie in her mouth, carefully and elegantly.
Otherwise, the meal was strangely uneventful and quiet. Everypony was more busy eating than talking, and Diamond Tiara got a short glimpse at how Apple Bloom lived. Big Macintosh never talked much, but instead chowed down the pie with a speed that drove Diamond Tiara green with envy. She loved pie more than anypony, so how could there be someone better at eating them than she?
Applejack talked with Apple Bloom, but since Diamond Tiara tried to unhear that accent, she didn’t bother with the details of the conversation. For a pony who appeared to spend most of her time walking between trees and bucking them when necessary, she looked pretty energetic though. Diamond Tiara was almost tempted to blame her own appearance in the house. There only existed three pains who weren’t enlightened by her presence, Diamond thought, but that kind of comment only worked when she had Silver Spoon to work with.
Why are you gone over hills and far away, my one true friend? Her thoughts asked the air around her, which responded by doing the usual thing air did when someone talked to it: Nothing.
“Ya know, back when I was a filly, we had aunt Brown Snout makin’ some of the best pie south of the Frozen Mountains,” Granny Smith remembered aloud, giving a sigh, “Honestly Applejack, yer’s taste like dirt compared to those.”
“Well, thank you, that comment Ah needed,” Applejack answered with a frown.
“Ah know, that’s why Ah told ya.”
I wonder if I can unthink the accent? Diamond Tiara wondered for a moment, not really knowing what to else to do. The truth remained, however, that this cake was actually quite well made and tasted definitely different from dirt. Not that I should say that, Diamond Tiara thought. Trying to get a cutie mark in dirt eating hadn’t been their smartest idea back when they had still been blank flanks.
Still, the first evening went over peacefully, except that Scootaloo wasn’t happy at all with Diamond’s presence here. The pegasus kept glaring at her, while Diamond returned the favor with the smuggest of smiles she and her mother had come up with. Yet, there was a nervosity within her as the sun decided to slowly vanish behind the mountains. With night upon them, the only thing left was taking a shower and after that the game would start for real. Diamond Tiara had a plan, however, and if it worked, then she promised herself to spend the entirety of this month’s pocket money on milkshakes.