The first thing the The Doctor noticed was the colors. All these tiny horses of just about any color imaginable, with hair, err, mane-styles of all sorts. The next thing he noticed were the wings. Yes, strange as it was, most of the tiny horses here didn't even stir when another tiny horse flew above them. This place was wonderful! And this was all in the first fifteen seconds of exiting the TARDIS. Rarely did he come across something he knew next to nothing about. Then he noticed possibly his favorite part yet. There were unicorns! Living, breathing, actual unicorns! The Doctor breathed in the fresh air and started on his way, the TARDIS closing behind him.
His smile faltered for only a moment after an intense growl from within his abdomen. "Oh right, nearly forgot about that bit. Right, let's see if these other tiny equines can talk." After a moment of carefully observing his selection, he decided on a well-dressed pony (apparently they DO wear clothes) with slicked back hair. He approached the individual, who appeared to have bags of money on his flank, smiled and asked "Excuse me sir, if you are actually able to communicate with me, I would love to know where I can get something to eat." The other horse chuckled and turned, "I'm no stranger to a Trottingham accent sir, the nearest eating establishment would be Sugarcube Corner, just over in that direction, my good pony." After gesturing towards the bakery, the "pony" continued on his way, doing whatever it was that ponies with money on their hides do. The Doctor smiled and thanked him, then went in the direction that the other pony pointed. "Did he say "Trottingham"? Heh. Heheh. That's funny, it's like Nottingham, isn't it? But for ponies. That's adorable! I can tell already that this is going to be fun."
Eventually arriving in front of the large pink building which he assumed was the bakery (due to the food-like appearance of the whole building) he gratefully stepped inside, ready to put something inside of his raging stomach. He observed his new environment, curious as he was about this new world. It was a typical set-up, dining area to the right, a set of stairs in the back, and the counter directly ahead. He noticed a stand-up sign and immediately smiled, a devious plan already hatching. The sign read "Royal Guard Eats Free!". This was just what The Doctor needed, something that would grant him easy access without too much scheming. Not that he didn't like scheming, just that he was really hungry and wasn't quite up to the energy and thought that a good scheme demanded. This sign though, it practically gave him all that he needed, and it was a good job too, he was working up quite an appetite exploring this new, fascinating world.
Approaching the counter, he cleared his throat to alert the counter-maid of his presence. The blue pony with a large swirl on top of her head nearly gave The Doctor a laugh, new as he was to the whole "tiny horse" bit. He managed to suppress a laugh and was about to ask for something to eat when he realized he didn't know what he wanted to eat. He didn't know what he even liked, though he hoped that he didn't like pears, a previous incarnation of himself had seriously disliked pears, and he was not EVER going to get over his irrational hate of that fruit. Thinking quickly, witty as he was, The Doctor merely said "Can I get what everyone else likes?" The pony at the opposing end of the counter gave him a curious look, but merely shook her head and called out behind her into the kitchen. "Pinkie Pie! Can we get some of your cupcakes please?!" She then turned to the stranger and informed him. "That'll be twelve bits, please." The Doctor chuckled a bit then said "I'm, uh, actually a member of the Royal Guard" The blue mare opposite him was clearly NOT convinced as she gave him a look that quite obviously said "Really? I'm supposed to buy that?". The Doctor sighed and bent his head down, "Fine, I'll prove it to you". Reaching into his tie pocket with his mouth he retrieved a small black wallet and dropped it, open, onto the counter in front of her. It clearly stated that he was not only a member of the Royal Guard, but a Captain at that!
She immediately looked sheepish, and felt very foolish. "My apologies, Captain. I'll be sure to hurry your cupcakes." The Doctor smiled a friendly smile as the mare turned and shouted into the kitchen. "PINKIE PIE! HURRY UP WITH THOSE CUPCAKES!" "I told you Mrs. Cake..." Mrs. Cake nearly jumped over the counter top as Pinkie Pie appeared seemingly out of nowhere, behind her "...that I'm missing my lucky baking spoon! I normally keep it in a hidden spot in the cupboard underneath the back left pot, but I can't find anywhere!" Mrs. Cake sighed, clearly used to the antics of this spazzy pink pony. "Well then, Pinkie Pie, you'll just have to use one of our other baking spoons." "Oh! I already did!" Pinkie Pie lifted up a tray of freshly baked cupcakes. These, too, had apparently materialized from nothing. Pinkie then placed the tray on the counter and gave a massive smile to The Doctor, who couldn't help but have a small, friendly chuckle escape his new horsey mouth. "Thank you, Ms. Pie, I'm sure these are going to be absolutely fantastic!" He then bent down and picked the tray up in his teeth, and carried them over to an empty table near the door. He then saw the ever-crazy pink mare start searching under, over, and around anything that might hide that trusty spoon.
The Doctor let out an expectant sigh as he carefully unwrapped one of the cupcakes, careful so that he didn't smash the entire confection. After, completing his task of unwrapping said cupcakes, he picked the wrapper up with his teeth and tossed into the bin, which was conveniently close, due to his choice in seating. He neatly devoured the cupcake viciously, greedily consuming every morsel, not allowing there to be a single survivor. Pinkie was continuing her search, lifting entire tables, ponies and all. A rather impressive feat of strength, he noted to himself. He then gently pushed down the sides of the wrapper of his next victim, much preferring the cupcake virgin, sans wrapper. After removing it from the cover and protection of it's sheltering wrapper, he lifted the wrapper up with his teeth, and turned to gently place it in... nothing. It floated down unto the ground where the trash bin used to be, making The Doctor a hardened, littering criminal. He stared perplexedly at the empty space, curious if what he was seeing was real. After confirming to himself that it had, in fact, disappeared, he smiled, ready for the adventure that this world was already offering him. He quickly consumed his cupcake and removed himself from his chair, intent on finding out what happened to the trash bin.
As The Doctor reached into his tie pocket, pulling out a certain useful tool, he realized he had no idea how he was supposed to hold it. After a moments contemplation, he decided his teeth would just have to do. Removing the sonic screwdriver from his tie pocket, he clicked the device a couple times, setting the frequency. "Watcha doin'?". The Doctor didn't even flinch as the pink pony stared over his shoulder, watching the blue light blanket the small area that it was able to reach. "M attmptng t fnd ut wht tok te trsh bn". Pinkie nodded knowingly, "Any ideas what it might be?". After placing the screwdriver into his tie, The Doctor lifted his head and turned to Pinkie "Oh, I have a few theories, naturally, but nothing solid yet. I've detected a quantum disturbance in the area of where the bin used to stand. And now I'm going to go find the origin of said disturbance and I'm going to deal with it.". Pinkie gasped "Oooo, that sounds really detective-y. Are you a detective?"
"Nope, I'm The Doctor!"
"So what do you do?"
The Doctor pondered this for a moment, then presented his answer "I suppose whatever I rightly feel like". Pinkie smiled and said "That sounds really fun! So what are you gonna do now? Oh yeah! You already told me! So when are you gonna do it? Like right now?" The Doctor nodded "Yep" and left quickly, having eaten enough to at least hold him over. Shame he didn't get to eat those cupcakes, though, they were rather good.
The Doctor was leaving Sugarcube Corner, post-haste, when he realized a certain lightish-red pony was bounding after him, hopping upwards of three feet at a time. He quickly rushed to his blue box, parked conveniently nearby, between two buildings. "Ooo. What's that?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head slightly, obviously curious about the blue box. The Doctor smiled as he turned to the pink pony "It's a police box, for policy things."
"Oh! Can I see your badge? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?" The Doctor growled and shouted "Fine! Heh fine, here." He reached down into his tie pocket and pulled out his "badge", showing it to Pinkie Pie. "Woah, that's reeeeeeaaally cool!" "Yep, it's my badge, now if you don't..."
"No silly, it's piece of paper with a psychic field that projects whatever the user wants them to see!"
Needless to say, The Doctor was dumbfounded. How had this seemingly air-headed pony seen through his ruse? Only the most intelligent... unless... no, it was probably just a fluke. He did, however, like that she had at least recognized how the trick worked, it was way ahead of her time, let-alone intelligence level. "Well, I'm going to go now. Into my police box. See you later!"
"Hey wait, what's in there that you need so bad?"
"You know what? Do you want to find out?"
Pinkie nodded her head sporadically, and The Doctor led the way into his TARDIS.
"Woah! It's bigger on the inside!" The Doctor smiled, he always loved that part. "Yeah, and you know what else? It travels, too!" Pinkie Pie looked to be in awe "Really? Where are we going to go?" The Doctor didn't even have to think. "Wherever the thing that took your trash bin is. Because THAT'S adventure!" The Doctor walked up to the console and looked back at the still amazed Pinkie Pie. "Would you mind helping me fly this?" Pinkie could only somehow smile wider.
"FLICK THAT LEVER". Pinkie zipped to the location of indicated lever and performed the action ordered of her. "LEE-VUR FLICKED!" "EXCELLENT! PREPARE FOR RE-MATERIALIZATION SEQUENCE!" This was his favorite part. The big knife switch that ended all the button-pushing, lever flicking, dial spinning. The feeling of it was always exhilarating, sending a rush through his body, and now he got to do it as a pony! Reaching to it, he got his hoof behind it, and pushed it forward, the sound of the TARDIS teleporting climaxing.
VWORP VWORP BDEEEeeew BDEEEeeew. As the TARDIS materialized in it's new location, The Doctor laughed excitedly and turned to Pinkie Pie. "Shall we see where this baddie is hiding?" Pinkie giggle and followed The Doctor as they headed out of the TARDIS. "Okay, I'll be honest. I have absolutely no clue where we are." "Oh oh, I know!" Pinkie raised her hoof in the air and started waggling it expectantly, waiting to be called on. The Doctor only smiled at the behaviour and played along. "Yes Ms. Pie, you know the answer?"
"Mhmm!"
"And you'd like to share it with the class?"
"MHMM!"
"Well alright then, where are we?" Pinkie looked utterly thrilled, as if there was an entire class full of students that he could have picked on, but instead had chosen to call on her. "We are in the gardens of Canterlot Castle!" The Doctor looked around observing the castle. Yep, it looked castle-y alright. Now he just had to find the source of the quantum disturbance, whatever he was looking for was seriously messing with space, and it was only a matter of time before it started messing with time too, or maybe not. Whatever it was had the potential, but it could also not. He still didn't really know what he was up against, but it was definitely going to be a problem if he didn't stop it. "Alright, let's start the search!" Reaching into his tie, he pulled up the sonic screwdriver and began to use it in his mouth, seeking out any anomalies. Pinkie noticed the way The Doctor was holding his thing-a-ma-jig, thinking it was funny. "Doctor" "Yes, Ms. Pie?" He said through the screwdriver in his teeth. "Why do you hold your watcha-ma-call-it in your mouth?". At this, The Doctor tucked his device into his tie and faced her. "How would you suggest I hold it? Am I supposed to use it without apposable thumbs?" Pinkie ignored the last bit and held up the sonic screwdriver "Hold it like this!" The Doctor immediately checked his tie and was astounded to see that his sonic was somehow in her hooves now. "How did you do that?!" "I just concentrate mentally on the object and the telekinetic capability that everypony has is channeled through the hoof. Though it's usually so weak that your hoof has to be touching it for anything to happen. Unicorns natural kinesis is also usual weaker as years of evolution have sacrificed that for magic. And babies have a..."
"Wait, WHAT?! Ponies have telekinesis?! And magic?! And how do you know so much about this stuff? It seems really complicated."
Pinkie just smiled "It's simpler in application." The Doctor blinked a few times "...I like that you surprise me. So what do I do, just imagine that I'm holding it?" The Doctor took the sonic from Pinkie. "Oh! Look at that! I'm holding it with my holding it with my hoof! That's amazing!" He leaned forward to use the sonic screwdriver and inspect the area for quantum disturbances, and fell flat on his face.
"Ow." The Doctor pulled himself up onto his legs, lightly shaking his head, trying to clear the imaginary fog in his head. "You know what?" He said, picking up the sonic screwdriver, "I think I'll just use my mouth. Thr! See? T wrks fne!" He then perked his head up, the device having clearly detected something. Placing the screwdriver once again into his tie he bolted off, shouting to Pinkie Pie over his shoulder "Come on, Pinkie! This way!". The Doctor zipped around the corner and up the front steps, past the guards who clearly weren't ready for him and were unable to stop him in time. "Excuse me, gentlemen! Just passing through, won't be a moment!". The guards gave each other a brief glance to confirm to each other that what they just saw did, in fact, happen, then immediately gave chase after the mad stallion. The Doctor was nearing the disturbance when he was halted by two guards, just in front of the room that contained the threat. Soon, he was surrounded on all sides and had spears pointed threateningly at him. There was no getting out of this one.
"Hello, Doctor. It is nice to see you again.". The guards lowered their spears slightly, unsure whether they were supposed to take him into custody, or greet him. "It is okay, my little ponies. He has the right to be anywhere at anytime. He has saved us more times than you could know." The guards lowered their spears and returned to their posts, the two guarding the entryway staying in place. The Doctor turned to see his saviour. What he observed took him a second to register. She (he assumed it was a she because of the voice and overall appearance) was tall... really tall. She was a shade of pink so light, that most others would mistake it for white. She had both wings AND a horn (which was kind of cheating if you think about it) and had a crown and gold boots. She had the mark of the sun on her rear, but what was most impressive was the hair. It flowed even without the slightest draft. The colors of a beautiful sunrise OR sunset, it was hard to say it was anything other than beautiful.
"Umm, hello. I'm sorry, who are you?". The Princess was confused for a moment, but then a look of realization dawned on her. "I'm sorry, Doctor, I did not realize this was your first time meeting me. Time is strange, and this is not my first time meeting you. I am Princess Celestia, harbinger of the day. Bringer of the sun.". The Doctor nodded knowingly, this not being his first time with first but not first meetings. "Yes, well, if you know me, then you know what I am here about.". The Princess nodded "Yes, you have access to anywhere in the castle. If you require any aid, do not hesitate to summon me, I should be in the kitchen for, uh, lunch. Yes, lunch.". The Doctor smiled, "You should try cupcakes, they're really good! Ooo! I bet I'd like cake. You should try cake, indulge yourself!". Princess Celestia gave a nervous laugh, "Yes, perhaps I will, one day. Farewell, Doctor." "Right, seeya!". The Doctor ran into the other room, ready to deal with the problem.
The Doctor entered the throne room and approached his enemy. His enemy, because it threatened the life of innocent, peaceful creatures. He approached the main throne and cleared his throat "Ahem, hello. I'm The Doctor, you may not know me, but that's fine, I'm not here to talk about me. However, I DO want to talk about you, I want to talk about what YOU are doing. You see, you may not know it, but you're threatening the lives of innocent, peaceful creatures, and that's not okay with me. You see, I know that if you keep up what you're doing, this world goes away, and that's not okay with me. I'll tell you what IS okay, Article Fifty-Seven of the Shadow Proclamation prohibits the destruction of a Level Five planet, you are breaking inter-galactic law, and I am here to see to it that this activity is ceased." What responded was what sounded like a series of hisses and wheezy inhalations. The Doctor, however, was able to understand it, and communicated thoroughly. "Ah, so that's what you are? I'm afraid that doesn't matter to me, however. You either find a new home and leave this place, or feel the wrath of someone who's dealt with this kind of stuff waaaaay too long to be patient about it anymore. The Lapidem Vivum are not permitted to feed here, I'm certain of it. No race in their right mind would give that kind of authority to something that only eats, and eats, and eats. Now. Make your choice, you make everyone happy, and go feed on an uninhabited planet OR, and this one is probably against your benefit,... you mess with The Doctor. What will it be?". Another series of frightening inhalations and "s" sounds. "Why should you be afraid of me? I can think of a number of reasons. One, I'm a Time Lord, the LAST of the Time Lords, as a matter of fact. I saw the fall of Gallifrey, and I saw the noble race and their enemies turn to dust. Two, I'm not afraid of you, because I know that you have a weakness, and I know that once I put everything together, you won't be able to stop me. Three, I'm The Doctor. Four, and this is the one that you should be most afraid... I have a Pinkie Pie"
As the words left The Doctor's mouth, Pinkie Pie exploded from behind the throne, a slurry of confetti and balloons following behind her, and she brought down a giant net on top of the throne, much to the detesting of the creature contained within. "I got it, Doctor!". The Doctor smiled "Excellent, thank you, Ms. Pie. Oh, please do be careful not to hurt it.". The Doctor walked up to the throne. "Now, where's everyone else?" Pinkie Pie looked at The Doctor somewhat confusedly, "What do you mean, we got it. Didn't we?" "Yes, the one assigned to your home town..."
"Ponyville"
"Thank you, Ponyville. But the rest of it's friends are stationed all over the world, and that has the potential to be a problem. Now, Lapidem Vivum assigned to Ponyville, tell the rest of your tribe to leave this planet, or I'll send you to the deepest, darkest part of the galaxy, where there's not a single bit of matter to be consumed." The Doctor sat, patiently awaiting it's response. When one did not come, he sighed. "Fine. Pinkie Pie, keep the bazoolium net snug on it, I'm going to get the TARDIS ready." The Lapidum Vivem growled and roared with rage and protest. The net around it turned to a pure black and dissolved, little black bit floating too and being absorbed by the throne, which grew ever-so-slighty larger. "Oh, boy. It doesn't like that." The Doctor took Pinkie Pie the hoof and led her to the far end of the throne room, all the while feeling the pull of the Lapidum Vivum as it tried to pull them in. Pinkie Pie was screaming as the force tugged on them, irritating The Doctor. "Would you mind NOT doing that?". Pinkie Pie immediately stopped and shook her head, "Okay!".
The Lapidum Vivum began to speak in it's eerie way. "!you were so foolish to try and stop mE .now you will be the first living things to be consumeD". Pinkie Pie looked at The Doctor worriedly, clearly begging for him to do something. But rather, he spoke to it. "This is your last chance! If you refuse to comply then you will be terminated!"
"!muahahahahA" the Lapidum Vivum just laughed. The Doctor sighed and pulled out e jar from his tie pocket "Suit yourself.". Pinkie Pie looked at the jar with great interest. "What's that?" she said, pointing at the jar. "Anti-matter" The Doctor replied coolly "the opposite of what the Lapidum Vivum eat, making it a poison to them." With that, The Doctor heaved the jar over his shoulder, where it hit the throne, the glass shattering and the anti-matter being absorbed. The Lapidum Vivum shrieked in anguish before all was calm once more. The Doctor had lost his usual, cheerful self and looked sullen. He retrieved his sonic screwdriver and set the frequency, leaning into it so as to speak into it like a microphone. "All Lapidum Vivum. I am The Doctor. I have slain who I'm guessing was your leader since he got the throne. Now. If you wish to continue existence, you WILL find another planet to feed on. Preferably one that's uninhabited, so as to avoid this whole confrontation from ever happening again. Now go!." Walking to the main window, The Doctor stared into the sky, waiting for something, then shouted into the sonic screwdriver with pure anger in his voice. "I SAID GO!!! ". As soon as his voice carried though, the sky was temporarily filled with small black clouds, zipping upwards. Then, just as quickly, disappeared. He turned to Pinkie with a massive grin. "We did it!"
VWORP. VWORP. BDEEEeeew. BDEEEeeew... The TARDIS door swung open with an incredibly loud creak and The Doctor and Pinkie Pie stepped outside of it, laughing together. "Pinkie Pie, you were absolutely fantastic. I especially thought the confetti was a nice touch.". He began laughing again, rejoicing with Pinkie Pie in their victory. After the revelry had died down a bit, Pinkie Pie spoke up, "Well, Doctor. I gotta go, seeya!". Pinkie Pie started to bounce away when The Doctor started to say something. "Umm, Pinkie Pie, could you wait a moment?". Pinkie froze mid-air and turned around, also while mid-air, then fell towards him "Okie Dokie Loki! What's up?". The Doctor appeared nervous at first, but then regained his confidence. "Pinkie Pie, I was thinking. I'm new here, still need to get the lingo down, need to familiarize myself with the place, and I still don't think I've got this whole pony bit down. Fact of the matter is. I need a tour guide. Pinkie Pie, how would you like to be my companion?". Pinkie Pie took only a moment to answer, and when she did, her answer was clear. "I'm sorry Doctor, but no. I think you're really fun and I bet you have lots of fun, but I have friends here, and they're what's most important to me. I hope that's okay with you.". The Doctor nodded, though not without looking completely and utterly bummed. "I understand Pinkie Pie. Perhaps we'll be able to adventure again someday."
CRRRRREEEEEEEEEAAAK. SLAM. The Doctor walked up to the TARDIS console slowly and depressed. He sighed as he sat down and looked at the TARDIS console, unsure of what to do next. Setting the TARDIS to appear in a random location at a random time, he gripped the knife switch as best as one could with a hoof. A refreshing sigh came out and a new smile found his face as he prepped for his next adventure. "Allons-y!"