//------------------------------// // Method of Elimination // Story: Captain Applejack Harkness // by Inthretis //------------------------------// 1609 AD (Nine years before Nightmare Moon returns) A rock farm Nowhere Province, Equestria “Honey, you and I both know it’s starting, and it’s only going to get worse.” “We can’t just abandon her in a random town full of strangers! Clyde, we can handle this. We can handle our own daughter.” “Yes, we can. But what about the neighbors? They’re starting to notice her… condition. What if the knowledge spreads? If the guards catch a whiff of a filly with special powers, they’re going to look through their database. They’re going to find out about her grandmother, and our family lineage… And when they do, we’ll never see each other again. All of us, we’ll all be captured and caged within a Torchwood prison. We will never see the light of day again. We don’t know what they’ll do to her.” “But Ponyville? How can such a place be right for her? It’s in the only province more ‘hick’ than ours! What the rock does ‘Boeshane’ even mean?” “Honey, dear, calm down. Deep breaths.” “Huuuuuuuuupp! Huuuh...” “Better?” “Yeah, I’m just worried, how are you sure she won’t be found out there?” “Because Ponyville is the disaster capital of Equestria, darling. Pinkie will be like a searchlight among beacons. Nopony ever bothers searching Ponyville for crazy shenanigans, because they practically risk a complete mental breakdown every time they try.” --0o0-- February 25, 1619 AD Twilight Sparkle was trying very hard not to scream. Her whole day had just been, to put it mildly, utterly insane. Turns out Pinkie Pie is psychic! And nopony was batting an eye to it. It made no sense. Precognition was impossible, nothing traveled faster than light, which allows time travel, not even teleportation. Twilight travels at light speed, thank you very much. But alas, Pinkie kept on insisting she had a mysterious ‘pinkie sense’, which has no basis within the known laws of physics. Time travel was certainly impossible, and with it, predicting the future. She had to figure it out, but how? Applejack mentioned how everypony in town was used to this sort of thing, maybe it had something to do with the Ponyville rift? No, Twilight already ruled that out because Pinkie mentioned having the sense before she moved to Ponyville. It wasn’t related to weather, had nothing to do with earth pony attributes, and definitely wasn’t any kind of magic. If it was, Twilight would have already mastered it. Maybe she could test for the difference! She would need some volunteers… A soon as she got her body bandaged after falling into Applejack’s cellar. “Hey Applejack!” Twilight yelled as the orange earth pony approached her. “Yeah, sugarcube?” Applejack asked with a smile. “Would you mind being subjected to a thorough full body scan?” Twilight smiled brightly, despite being confined to a wheelchair. “Uuuhh… What?” “I just need to get a scan of you, compare it to the one I have of Pinkie, then figure out the difference!” “Wait a minute, me an’ Pinkie are totally different-” “Oh that’s right! Even removing the gender and species isn’t enough, I need to collect more data, maybe one of our other friends can help…” “Twi? Let’s not experiment on ourselves tryin’ ta understand Pinkie Pie, of all ponies. It’s doomed ta fail, like fightin’ a waterfall from stoppin’ a stampede of whirlin’ cows,” Applejack stopped before saying, “Wait, what was that metaphor supposed to mean?” Applejack just continued, “Aw well, just don’t test me, alright? Ah don’t think that doohickey in yer basement’s good fer my… everything.” Twilight looked disappointed, but agreed, “Fine, guess I’ll just continue observing Pinkie.” --0o0-- The day was over, and Twilight Sparkle had finally accepted the Pinkie Sense. It had taken effort, Applejack’s prodding, and a hydra attack to finally convince her that the Pinkie Sense, despite it defying the laws of physics, magic, and every other law written down. She had just finished penning a friendship report to Princess Celestia about faith in other ponies, and motioned Spike to send the letter. Spike ran up the steps to balcony as Pinkie Pie left to return to the bakery. As Pinkie and Twilight said their goodbyes, a resounding thud was heard coming from the balcony. Princess Celestia had landed in Ponyville. Spike stared at the alicorn and dropped his jaw. It wasn’t every day when the sun goddess-deity-royalty-whatever landed unexpectedly on Twilight’s spot for astronomy. Heck, he hadn’t really seen the princess since the Running of the Leaves business. Ever since then, the princess visited Twilight less and less frequently. When she did visit, it was only after several days of planning and Twilight freaking out. He never bowed to Celestia, while a citizen of Equestria, he did not have the obligation to do so. But this time, he had ever so slightly averted his gaze and began moving towards the floor. Before he could bow to his ruler for the first time in almost a decade, she stopped him. “Spike, tell Twilight that I am here, and after that, please retrieve Miss Rarity and bring her to the library,” Celestia said cooly. Spike nodded so fiercely that he threatened to remove his head off his shoulders and dashed downstairs to tell the aforementioned unicorn, dropping the letter to the princess onto the ground. Princess Celestia picked the scroll up with her magic and began reading. Just as she finished, a resounding Thump! was heard, and Spike could be seen rushing out of the library towards Carousel Boutique. Almost immediately, Twilight frantically jumped onto the balcony. “Princess! I am so sorry about the mess, I didn’t you were coming and then the whole Pinkie-,” Twilight was cut off by Celestia motioning with her hoof. “It is alright, my faithful student, I am here because of a more urgent matter. Please, I would like to go downstairs to explain,” the princess motioned towards the inside of the library. “O-of course! Let me show you the way! Sorry, it’s so messy, I just dealt with a sort of failed experiment involving Pinkie Pie,” Twilight rambled on, “And the results weren’t exactly conclusive in any way, so… ” Celestia smiled, “Yes, I assume that would be the case. Pinkie’s condition doesn’t leave much to be discerned.” “Princess?” Twilight asked. “Twilight, I am about to tell you and Rarity something important and of the utmost secrecy. Please, wait until she arrives so that I may explain.” Twilight nodded, and asked, “So you know how she does all those strange things she does?” “Please Twilight, after Rarity is here,” Celestia reached with her magic and cleared an area fit for about four ponies to sit comfortably. The teacher and student trotted into the the space while Twilight used her magic to tidy up. After five minutes of cleaning up, the front door opened and Spike returned with Rarity. She was wearing a hat bedazzled with glittering gemstones and what appeared to be an orange butterfly in one of the corners. Shaped like a sun hat, it probably refracted sunlight from the wearer, while blinding everyone else in a ten foot radius when outside. Next to the sun princess however, it seemed dim in comparison. “Spike, please go get yourself some dinner at a nice restaurant, I need some privacy with Rarity and Twilight,” Princess Celestia explained before Spike could ask. “Sure Princess,” Spike replied as he grinned and hopped out the door, “Have a nice time. Bye Rarity, bye Twi!” Celestia closed the door, locked it, then proceeded to cast an anti-scrying and sound-proofing spell around the entire building. Rarity started asking Twilight what was happening, but Twilight simply shrugged. After placing four more spells to protect the foundations and the atmosphere, she looked at the two unicorns in front of her. Celestia sighed and began speaking, “What the two of you are about to hear may not be spoken in public or private, and may only be conversed about with only myself and a hooful of other ponies. I am asking for your help in catching a dangerous criminal who threatens the safety of Equestria. Are you two willing to risk your life for what I am about to task you with?” “Yes, Princess,” Twilight answered quickly. Rarity stood there, thinking it over before asking, “Your highness, what exactly are you inquiring us to do? I am willing to stop criminals, but I am merely a dressmaker. I don’t know if I’m up for whatever it is you need me to do.” Celestia smiled, “I assure you what I am asking for is within both of your abilities, and isn’t necessarily very controversial.” Rarity inhaled, “Then I accept.” Celestia started to explain, “Tell me, what do you know about Black Ness?” “The terrorist group that caused that crystal star incident during Hearthwarming’s?” Twilight asked. “The very same. I have reason to believe that Black Ness has infiltrated Ponyville, and her target is one of the element bearers,” Celestia stated. “W-what? That can’t be, why us?” Rarity sputtered, unable to believe what she was hearing, “Here in Ponyville? Why us?” “Black Ness is not truly an organization of dozens of ponies. She is a single mare of approximately 300 years of age, who has recruited and brainwashed ponies to do her bidding. Over the last several centuries, she has killed numerous ponies and has some vendetta against Equestria or me, I am uncertain to the reason. “I have further reason to suspect that… one of your friends has been compromised,” Celestia revealed. “What? No, there is no proof that any of our friends have been deceived by that monster!” Rarity cried out, “They would resist! They would run and tell somepony, not work with a terrorist!” “I am sorry, but Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy are possible suspects for aiding in Black Ness’s attacks on Equestria,” Celestia looked solemn, her voice had taken on a sad tone and her eyes looked downward. “But why me?” Rarity asked, “Why do you trust me? I mean, I understand you trust Twilight, but me? I am as easily persuaded as our other friends, how can you be sure that I am not compromised?” “The truth is, Rarity,” Celestia answered, “It is because I am completely sure, that due to your upbringing and parentage, you are incredibly unlikely to be converted.” “I don’t understand, Princess,” Rarity began. “One day you will, hopefully not until you are ready,” Celestia looked at Twilight, who had begun fidgeting when Rarity started asking questions, “My faithful student, you are probably bottling up many questions, please feel free to ask them.” Twilight appeared to burst with curiosity, but limited herself to one main question, “What did you mean by Pinkie Pie earlier? Is her Pinkie Sense caused by some sort of anomaly, or maybe an extrapolated Beta-class magic field? Of course it’s appears to most resemble a Klein megahedron event, but I can’t even comprehend her mass integration levels, it only makes sense if one assumes a nine-point-oh-seven-six variance level in her Hayzion emissions, sooooooo… what do you think, Princess?” With a flick of her horn, Celestia summoned a stack of papers that arranged itself neatly into two separate piles. Celestia then enchanted the papers and gave it to Twilight. “These files are only for you and Rarity’s eyes. Should anypony other than you two attempt to read them, they will instantly combust,” Celestia’s eyes seemed to flicker slightly, “They contain all the data you will need about Black Ness and Pinkie Pie. I am sure you will be able to tell the difference.” “Thank you, we will definitely study these extensively,” Twilight said reassuringly. “Now I will explain what I want the two of you to do,” Celestia said as the two unicorns looked upon her with rapt attention, “But first, tell me exactly how much you two know about the upcoming Best Young Flyer Competition?” --0o0-- 1615 AD (Three years before Nightmare Moon returns) Rainbow Dash, future wonderbolt, the only pony to perform a sonic rainboom, was in a foul mood. She had run out of money, and needed a place to stay to continue her wonderbolt training. This unfortunately, led her to Ponyville. An old friend of hers lived in the quaint little town, and was the only pony who was able to give her a place to stay. That was three weeks ago. She was still coming to grips with living on the ground. It was just so low, dirty and boring. To top it all off, there wasn’t anything to do. She joined the weather team, and was promoted to second-in-command in a matter of weeks, mostly because she was the only pegasus in the entire province with a degree in weather management. There wasn’t anything interesting, fun, or intriguing to do. There were, like, four athletic ponies in the entire town! Everyone of those worked late hours, so she never even saw them. Rainbow Dash groaned and laid back on her cloud. She was bored out of her mind, and just wished there was somepony to talk to… Whack! She felt pain shoot up her skull as she tumbled out of her fluffy cushion and onto the ground. The pain of the last ten seconds barely overcame the sheer boredom she was feeling. Rainbow moaned as she opened her eyes to see an angry orange earth pony. “Consarnit, what in the hay are ya doin’ trespassin’ on mah property?” the earth pony asked with a combination of anger and annoyance. “Um, I was napping?” Rainbow Dash pulled her head off the ground, her hooves were beginning to shake, “My name is Rainbow Dash. What’s yours, and why are you talking funny?” The orange mare snorted, “Mah name, is Applejack, this here is mah farm, where mah family been takin’ care of it fer many generations, and mah accent comes from southern Equestria, but ah guess ya can’t tell from the tiny little cloud ya came from.” Rainbow Dash jumped into the air hovering right above Applejack, her muzzle inches away from Applejack, “What did you say about my hometown?” “Oh, ah’m sorry, I should've talked a mite slower fer you. How. About. Now? You. Came. From. A tiny. Cloud. Full of airheads if ya can’t. Even. Tell. What mah-” Rainbow Dash pushed Applejack to the side, “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it? Lecture me on the history of this hick town? Maybe it was founded when your great-grandparents’ wagon broke down and they couldn’t fix the wheel!” “Get off mah property, ah’m angry ‘cause yer trespassin’ and makin’ fun of mah accent! Now yer criticisin’ mah family? Get off now, or ah’m gonna make ya get off!” Rainbow Dash flew up a few more inches, “Hah! I’m already off the ground, feather brain! Oh, and since you have no feathers, that means you don’t have-” Applejack’s lasso, which she always carried after fighting an alien weak only to rope, wrapped around Rainbow’s muzzle. Applejack yanked the rope down, bringing the pegasus down towards Applejack. “Well, ah don’t think this ‘fight’ is gonna last long because ya can’t keep yer mouth shut.” Rainbow Dash pulled the rope off, and jumped into the air, “This ain’t a fight, it’s a game of tag.” “Yer not gettin’ away that easily!” Rainbow Dash smirked before flying through the apple orchard. This was going to be a fun day. --0o0-- March 1, 1619 It was the day of the Best Young Flyers competition, and ponies were lining up for the start of the event. Inside the massive white Cloudeseum stadium was two dozen pegasi working diligently on the obstacles for the performances. Everything had to be perfect, Princess Celestia herself would be appearing soon, and would be one of the judges for the contest. Naturally, the arrival of the Wonderbolts riled everyone up. Captain Spitfire, Lieutenant Misty Fly (the incorrigible background Wonderbolt that no one ever remembered), and Commander Soarin, would usually arrive in a spectacular display of fireworks and majesty that just happens because they were so famous and awesome. Also, they loved pranking the workers, watching them gasp as their bosses arrive three hours early. Luckily for the workers, Spitfire and Soarin were not in the mood for pranks, so the above description for an entrance didn’t happen. They just flew in and entered normally. After dismissing Misty Fly, who would only later turn up to judge the competitors, because she is a lowly background Wonderbolt, Spitfire consulted with Soarin over security, with no regard for secrecy, because their was no pony insane enough to believe what they were talking about. “Any problems?” Spitfire started. “Nope, I scanned the area myself. Nopony in Cloudsdale had negative thoughts,” Soarin answered, “Can I go get some cake now?” Spitfire raised her eyebrow slightly in mild irritation, “Everywhere? The factory? The hotels? All incoming balloons?” Soarin pulled out a piece of caramel candy, “Yep, nothing but a talking butterfly and a hyperactive earth pony.” Spitfire’s eyebrow raised slightly higher as Soarin started unwrapping his candy. As he began to lick his lips in anticipation of his sweet treat, his eyes widening to an enormous size, Spitfire asked bluntly, “Seriously? Is your blood sugar really that low, or are you just being a glutton?” The blue pegasus stallion with a love for caramel popped the candy into his mouth, chewing with pure enjoyment as the sugar entranced his taste buds, “Mmmm yeah. Oh, and Heartstrings is here too, thought I should let you know.” Spitfire neutral expression turned into a scowl, her eyebrows pointed to show an angry face, her voice began to sound bitter, “Great, now we have to deal with that annoyance. Does she have any evidence this time, or is it another insane theory?” Despite her hateful tone, Soarin continued munching with delight until he swallowed, and attempted to comfort his boss, “C’mon, just ‘cause your ex is here, doesn’t mean she’s going to risk the safety of Equestria to prove a theory she has no proof for.” “We went on three dates over three years ago! We only kissed once, and then Lyra immediately tripped and fell into the river! I am totally over her,” Spitfire huffed and turned away. Soarin simply put his foreleg over Spitfire’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug, “Come on, it’s fine. Today we’re just doing our job, looking across the magnificent cyan skies of Cloudsdale, valiantly searching for the horrific abomination bent on destroying the great Equestrian civilization with her incomprehensible abilities that defy magic itself. Your ex-marefriend isn’t going to even be a factor in this. Now pony up and be a captain!” She looked up at Soarin, who was shaking his other hoof to the sky, like he was daring some malevolent being from beyond the stars to say otherwise. “You are a good pony, and there isn’t anything that Black Ness, GILDA, or the Cult of the Pearicles can do to prove me wrong! Am I right, or am I right?” “You’re right. I feel like an idiot for falling into this pit of self doubt. Curse that mare for making me think like this. Heartstrings is a non-threat, but give her enough leeway, and she could screw up things faster than Nightmare Moon,” the captain said to her subordinate officer. “Come on, let’s go get some pie before the competition starts,” Soarin started hovering into the air, “I think there’s a nice bakery on Cloud 9th Street.” “You go ahead, I need to check up on one more thing,” Spitfire waved the stallion goodbye as she trotted to a secluded spot in the arena. She stopped and began running over the plan in her mind. Soarin may be the best clairvoyant flyer in Equestria, but he is still a fool. Stopping Black Ness is only the beginning. --0o0-- They said it couldn’t be done. The logistics and magical energy required to pull off such a feat was mind boggling. And yet, under pressure to save lives, with thousands of ponies watching, judging her every move, Rainbow Dash did it. She pulled off a sonic rainboom, and in the process, saved three Wonderbolts and Rarity from certain death. Not only that, but Rainbow had flown off into the sunset with two Wonderbolts, and now they were going to get drunk at a bar. Not what she had in mind for celebration, but she didn’t complain. Simply being with the Wonderbolts was great. How many glasses had she drank? Drunk? Six? Seven? Okay, definitely not more than ten. Wait, were the glasses always that large? Huh, this one tastes like soap. Things started to get blurry quickly. She remembered a question. It’s not Twilight, it’s not Rarity, and it’s not you, so I’m asking you again. Which one of your friends is working for Black Ness? She didn’t know the answer. And then she blacked out. --0o0-- Spitfire sighed as she and Soarin dropped off Rainbow Dash at the hotel she was staying at. They left Rainbow in her room, along with a note and her medal for winning the Best Young Flyers Competition. As the pair closed and locked the door, Soarin spoke up. “She didn’t know anything. All we’ve is that it’s not her,” Soarin walked down towards the end of the hallway, with Spitfire trailing close behind. “You know, seems like a waste to fake an entire accident. We had Twilight Sparkle, the three of us, and a dressmaker from Ponyville fake a fall to the death based on a hunch,” Soarin continued down until they reached the elevator. “So you have doubts about the Princess?” Spitfire responded as she pressed the down button. “Nah, I’m just saying that she’s too emotionally invested in this. It’s like Black Ness has done something to her personally. You know, other than blowing up Canterlot with a crystal star, all those murders, and the other stuff,” Soarin said. “I heard a rumor from the last captain of the Royal Guard that it had something to do with Nightmare Moon,” Spitfire responded. “Never heard that theory, what is it?” Soarin asked. With that question, Spitfire raised her eyebrow, “Really? Well, it’s a long story, so just read my mind a learn it.” Soarin smiled, “You told me to never read your mind, not even when required.” Spitfire smiled and yawned as the elevator door went Ding! and opened, “Yeah, but I’m too tired to speak. Screaming while falling to my death was really tiring.” The duo entered the empty elevator as Spitfire remembered the memory. And Soarin did as well. --0o0-- March 2, 1619 About 10 o’clock Rainbow Dash woke up with a start. Her hangover had subsided, but still had a slight headache. She looked around the room until she remembered where she was. Beside her was her medal for the Best Young Flyer Competition the day before. Next to that was a white piece of paper. She took the note and read from it aloud: Dear Rainbow Dash, Hope you had as much yesterday as we did. We also hope to see you much more often. Who knows, at this rate, you’ll be in the Wonderbolts in no time! -Soarin P.S. Spitfire says hi, but she’s too grumpy to write anything (don’t tell her I wrote that!) She couldn’t quite remember everything from the night before, in fact it was so disjointed, she only remembered one question for sure: Which one of your friends is working for Black Ness? Why would one of her friends be in league with a terrorist group? Rainbow Dash thought long and hard before deciding to go back to sleep.