Chapter 14: Sticks and Stones
After three days of being stuck inside the house Bryce was deemed well enough to leave the inside of the house, but not yet given the OK to do any physical labor. Right now the large human was sitting with his back against the side of the house facing the barn, Winona laid up across his legs. "OK, so what happened after you gnawed on it?"
"*Bark* wrrr. *Bark*bark*."
"Yeah?"
"Wrrr,"
"Y...yeah?"
"Wrrr wrr."
Bryce tried to hold back his fits of laughter, "Y...yeah...?"
"Wrrr wrrr *bark*bark*bark*"
Bryce began to laugh at the hard as he could, only stopping at the protest of his still aching rib cage, "Damn girl, you and Corn are so much alike...Well you are dogs though."
Both boy and dog turned at the sound of Applejack clearing her throat, so caught up in conversation they hadn't noticed her arrival, "What the hay are yuh doin with Winona?"
Bryce just stared past the appl;e mare for a few seconds before responding, "Well we...we, we were t...talking."
Applejack cocked an eyebrow at Bryce, "About what...exactly?"
"A...about the she...she brought that dead squirrel inside..."
"Inside the house?"
"Y...yeah and dropped it on the...table..." Bryce turned down to the ground.
Applejack shook her head in disbelief, "Riiight." She continued to stare at Bryce for a few seconds before saying, "Welp Ah'm about ta head inta town and sell some apples. Ah'll be back sometime around supper."
"Right, you're going to take your horse thing wagon to sell apples to other horse things in Horse Thingtown."
"It's Horse Thingvil...Ponyville." The orange mare facehoofed at this slip. For the past few days the human had been testing Applejack nerves to their limits. Just yesterday he actually had the audacity to ask her where the apples for their food came from. He kept insisting on calling her 'orange one', referred to everypony as 'horse thing', refused to eat with the entire family at dinner, showed little interest in what she was talking about at the moment, and always did his best to avoid looking her or anypony else in the eye.
The thing that really steamed her, however, was the constant sarcasm. At least Applejack thought he was being sarcastic. "Look, Ah'm heading out. Is there anything Ah can get for yuh?"
"Sure...a thick, juicy steak cooked medium with a loaded baked potato and a Caesar salad as an appetizer."
Applejack cringed at the mention of the word 'steak'. Last night Bryce had dropped a bombshell when he revealed that his kind ate animals. After that everypony, except Granny Smith, were reluctant to go near him, "A...Ah meant anything like..."
"Well...do you of anyone that's a tailor or the like? I'm getting tired of going around in just my shorts and undies and these hole-filled shoes all day."
"Y...yeah Ah can do that."
"Good. Just have whoever it is bring some fabric. I'm real particular about the feeling of my clothes."
"OK, Ah'll try to remember." Applejack walked off after that leaving Bryce alone with Winona.
"Well...looks like it's just you and me again girl," Bryce said as he scratched her belly, making the dog kick its leg. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a red shape. When he turned to get a better look at the shape it disappeared from view. For cripes sake. "Sprout...come on out. I know you're there so come over here so I can see you."
Slowly Applebloom stuck her head out far enough so Bryce could see one of her eyes and pink bow, "That's it, come on," he said as he waved his fingers towards him. Applebloom hastily moved her hooves forward, still insecure about the possibility of being eaten by the creature she had called a friend. "Sprout come on over here, you don't have anything to be worried about."
Applebloom's hooves refused to move an inch, her own fear keeping her planted firmly in place.
"Sprout...I understand you're scared that where I'm from they eat animals, but I promise that you have nothing to worry about from me."
Applebloom shook her head, so afraid it almost went unnoticed.
"Applebloom..." Bryce sighed, hurt that his friend's trust in him had waned over a misunderstanding. "Applebloom, I know what I said, there's no taking it back, and there's nothing I can say to make up for it. But in my world human beings eat meat, it's the way most of my kind are and I won't deny it."
Applebloom could fell her whole body move forward, feeling more that some outside force was making her so. Before she could even react she was already within arm's length of Bryce causing her a new found fear.
"Now look, Applebloom we all know I said my kind eat meat, there's no way I can take it back. But just hear me out before you go running yourself into a big misconstruction." Bryce reached out to try and rub her back but the filly moved back way out of his reach. Bryce shrugged it off and continued, "In my world animals are a lot different than they are here. In fact we don't even eat horse meat."
This settled Applebloom's fears, but only just, "R...really...?"
"Yeah...I mean in my world horses are like pets to us, and I'd sooner eat our livestock back home than I would eat a pet."
"Do...does that mean you'd eat one of our cows?"
"Wh...no I'm saying it the wrong way...OK how about this; if it's something that I've raised personally, or something that I'm close enough with to sleep in bed with me, or anything that can talk back, I wouldn't eat it. Most especially that last part."
"Oh, so you'd eat one of our chickens?"
"Nooo, I'm saying that I wouldn't eat something I helped raise. Hell the only things that ever even ate my chickens back home were dogs that hadn't been taught not to and the occasional opossum. Besides, chickens pay their keep their own way so there's a good reason to keep them alive."
"So would your dog eat our chickens?"
"You don't have to worry about Corn eating any chickens, I made sure of that personally." After the first and only time.
"O...OK..." Hearing all of this gave the yellow filly some reassurance, but she was still unsure about the idea of the whole thing. "A...are yuh feelin any better?"
"Well I don't smell blood all the time anymore, I was actually able to taste breakfast this morning, and I don't come close to blacking out when I touch it. So yeah I'm better than I was."
"Tha...that's good Ah guess. Does that mean we can go play again?"
"Well, unfortunately no. Your grandmother told me not to do anything to strain myself and to take it easy."
"Oh...So what do yuh wanna do?"
"Well we can sit here and talk."
"What about?"
"Well how about if there are any other types of your kind I don't know about?"
"You mean like pegasusus?"
"Yeah like pegasi and...whatever type you are."
"Ah'm an earth pony."
"OK, I get that, but are there others besides pegasi and earth ponies?"
"Uh huh, there're unicorns too."
"Really? As in like you, but with a horn coming out of their foreheads?"
Applebloom nodded.
"Well is there any others, like...hippocampi?"
"What's a hip...po...cam...pie?"
"It's a horse, but it has a tail like a fish."
"Do yuh mean a merpony, those are just make believe."
Yeah and the idea of talking horses, unicorns, and pegasi is make believe in my world but look where that's gotten me. "Well is there...what the H?"
"Wha...what, what is it?"
"I thought I just say something on that cloud up there," Bryce said as he pointed at a nearby cloud.
Applebloom looked where he indicated, "Ah don't see anything."
"Just...look at it for a second, it might show back up."
Applebloom did so. After a few seconds she was almost convinced Bryce was just seeing things. When she came close to giving up she caught sight of a tricolored object offsetting the white and blue of the sky, "Bryce, is that...?"
"Go get your grandmother." Applebloom looked at Bryce. He had the angered scowl he always seemed to have, "Do it now."
Applebloom quickly ran off, afraid things were going to get ugly like yesterday.
Bryce continued to stare up at the same cloud. He began to yell at it, "Hey boy, you up there?"
The cloud gave no response.
"Come on son, we both know you're up there."
The cloud floated in the sky, unmoving.
Bryce carefully pulled himself up on his feet, "Come on and be a man. It's ungentlemanly to keep someone waiting."
This made Rainbow Dash jump out from her hiding place. As she flew down she stopped and hovered well out of reach of the human, "What the hay's your problem?"
"'My problem'...What the 'hell' is your problem?"
Rainbow pointed an accusatory hoof at Bryce, "Your my problem you...huge...pale...thing."
"Who are you calling huge?"
"You, you bucking idiot."
Bryce flipped a bird at this comment, "You're real tough up there in the clouds, why don't you come down here and say it to my face?"
"Fine I will." Rainbow continued to hover in mid air.
"Well...we're waiting!"
Rainbow grunted, "Why do you keep on calling me a boy?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yeah I..."
"You have a boyish tone of voice, a short mane, smelly breath, bad BO, attack without thinking, fight dirty, get easily intimidated, take everything as a personal challenge, always want to get last licks, and you tattle before slipping away with your tail tucked between your legs. Am I right on the money?"
"Yeah, well, you..." The cyan mare growled in anger before landing on the ground. She trotted towards Bryce, leaving deep hoofprints in the ground behind her, "Now listen her..."
"That's another thing, you can't even walk like a girl. Your ass swings less than a corpse."
Rainbow stood on her back legs and planted her forelegs on either side of Bryce. She locked eyes with the human, "N...now just wait a..."
"And you spit when you talk."
"I...I...I..."
"You feel that? That crawling under your skin. You know what that is? ME!"
Rainbow fell down on all fours at Bryce's feet and stared at the ground, unable to even show her face to the much taller human. "Wha...what did I e...ever do to you?"
"Are you serious?"
She couldn't bring herself to look up.
"For starters you attacked me without warning, then punched me in the face, threw a rock at me, smacked my boys, pommeled me into the dirt over a misunderstanding, and to top it all off left me black eyed, broken nosed, swollen jawed, cracked my ribs, and belittled me, and yourself, by tattling on what happened with Applebloom." Bryce continued laying into the pegasus, "Do you know what it's like to wake up to the smell of blood, or eating what might as well be shit since you can't even taste or smell it? The worst you got were a few bumps and a hurt ego."
Rainbow continued to look down at the ground speechless.
"I'm finished."
Rainbow Dash raised her head up. She opened her mouth to speak but anything she could say refused to come out. With tears beginning to stream out of her eyes she turned and ran off, expanding her wings and flying off after she was a good distance away.
Bryce just stood back and watched it all happen. Hearing movement from his right he turned to find Granny Smith and Applebloom looking at him in shock. "What?"
Granny Smith spoke first, "Bryce, did yuh have ta go and say that to her?"
"Well I was just being honest."
"But yuh didn't have ta be so mean about it."
"What, what'd I do?"
Applebloom responded, "Yuh hurt her feelings. I...it looked like she was cryin."
"Well she hurt me all over."
Granny Smith refuted, "I know she did, but that doesn't mean yuh had ta go and say all that." Both ponies began to walk off.
"Where are y'all going?"
"We're going inside, you can stay out here and think about what yuh did."
"Oh come on, can't I..." Bryce stopped when he saw Granny Smith's death stare. They continued on without him. He turned down to Winona, "Well girl, it looks like its just you and..."
"Winona you come on too."
The Border Collie went towards the voice of the aged mare, not even giving Bryce a second thought.
"...me." Bryce sighed in frustration, feeling more alone than ever. Fine, they can just be that way. He began to walk away on the path going away from the house, not even paying attention to where he was going.
As he walked down the dirt path Bryce was mentally damning everyone. I don't get it, all I was doing was being truthful about what I said. I mean, yeah, I said more than I should have but...I don't know. Bryce just continued to walk on.
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Without warning, Bryce was tackled by something he hadn't seen coming. He could think of only one person that would do such a thing at a time like this. With all his might he went to work trying to get the thing off of him, "Get off of me, get off of me, get off of me!" After the thing finally released itself from Bryce he began to shout, "Alright, I've had just about enough out of..."
Lying in the dirt was indeed a pegasus, but it was all the wrong colors entirely. The one before him was gray with a blonde mane. Looped around its neck was a satchel holding an assortment of letters, packages, and the like, the first falling from the sky like snow. This new pegasus was currently covering its head with its hooves, as if trying to protect itself from...him.
Realizing his error, Bryce made an attempt to explain himself. Bending down on one knee he stuttered out, "H...hey I'm sorry...I...I th...thought you were...Look i...it's going to be OK, I'm not going to hurt you."
The pegasus shifted in the dirt, trying to form itself into a protective cocoon.
Bryce tried to coax it in a gentle voice, "Hey come on now. I know what I did must have startled you, but it wasn't aimed at you. Come on out of there."
The pegasus must have believed Bryce because it tried to stand on its hooves. As it did so it accidently stepped down on the satchel still slung over its neck and caused the pegasus to tumble to the ground.
"Shi...are you OK?" Bryce said in a concerned tone of voice.
The pegasus meekly answered back, "Ye...yeah."
Sounds like it could be a girl, but after yesterday... "C...can you get up?"
"Uh huh."
"OK, let me just get this bag off you." Bryce carefully removed the strap of the satchel from around her neck and foreleg. "OK now let's get you..." Bryce yelped out in surprise when he caught sight of her eyes, her freakishly misaligned eyes. As he fell on his back he threw her satchel into the air scattering all of its contents. One package, however, landed on Bryce's gut and knocked the air out of his lungs.
"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry." The pegasus cried as she finally got to her hooves.
"It's *cough* it's O *cough*cough* it's OK, I'm fine."
"Ar...are you sure that package looked really heavy."
Bryce grabbed the sides of the box and stood up, "Yeah I'm fine. What's in this anyway a bowling...?" After he had gotten fully onto his feet the bottom of the box fell out and the bowling ball inside dropped right square on his foot. Bryce threw the remainder of the package away and grabbed hold of his foot. As he hopped around Bryce shouted out many obscenities, a few of them not even in English. Eventually his unhurt foot got caught on an envelope, making him slip and fall to the ground. Bryce then decided to lie there until the pain subsided.
From behind him he could hear the gray pegasus snorting. Taking a glance at her she had a hoof raised to her mouth, "What, is it something I said?"
That was all the pegasus needed as she started rolling on the ground laughing. Between laughs Bryce could make out a few audible words, "You...ha ha ha...fell and then that box...ha ha...and then you were all like 'What's in this anyway a bowling' and then a bowling ball fell out...ha ha ha ha ha. My Muffin'll get a kick out of it."
Bryce turned on his side so he could get a good view of her, "What you think..." Bryce smirked before he began to laugh as well, "OK it's kind of funny. It doesn't feel funny though, ahh."
The gray pegasus stopped laughing, "Oh right, I'm sorry. Here let me help you up."
"No, you don't need to do that." Bryce said as he got onto one knee.
"A...are you going to be alright?"
Trying his best to avoid looking at her he said, "Yeah I'll be fine. So what are you the...bowling ball...delivery...horse thing?"
"Yes, well I deliver more than just bowling balls. I'm the mail mare for Ponyville."
"Hmm...you don't say? So where were you off to in such a hurry that you didn't s...that you ran right into me?"
"I was running a letter to the apple farm down the road, and I was in a hurry." She let out a sigh, "I'm sorry for..."
Bryce held up a hand to stop her, "It's all right, it was an accident. I wasn't...paying attention to where I was going."
"I'm still sorry. I only stopped for a second to talk to Rainbow Dash...She...looked upset about something."
Bryce scratched the back of his head, "Really...did she say what it was?"
"All she would say was that 'some jerk kept on calling her a boy' and made her feel bad."
Shit... "Well I'm sorry for throwing your mailbag. Here let me help pick it up."
"You don't..."
"I insist. I know how hard it is for a mail carrier. My mom was one and she always hated not being able to get home before dark." Bryce began to gather up letters.
The pegasus joined in soon after. After a while the gray pegasus stopped and turned to Bryce, "So what are you anyway? Your not like anypony I've ever seen."
"I'm a...a human."
"Really?" Now where have I heard that before?"
Don't...remember.
Huh, I can't remember. "So what's your name?"
"Bryce."
"Well it's nice to meet you, my name's Ditzy Doo, but most ponies call me 'Derpy'."
"Well it's nice to meet you Ditzy Doo, but most ponies call me 'Derpy'."
Ditzy looked at Bryce with a confused expression, "No I mean...wait your joking aren't you?"
Bryce continued to pick up the mail, "Yeah."
"Ha ha...you're funny. So where'd you come from?"
"I was cut out of my mother's womb."
Ditzy laughed before adding, "No I mean town or whatever do you come from."
"I come from Earth."
"You mean from the ground?"
"No...now you're joking aren't you?"
"Yep..." They both laughed at that.
A few minutes later Ditzy was just about to pick up the last few letters when a large gust of wind blew them away. "Oh no...!"
"What is it?"
"The wind's blowing away those letters, I've gotta..." Just as soon as they were blown away they just as soon floated back towards the pair. Bryce held open Ditzy's mailbag and they blew right in.
"Well looks like we got lucky," he said as he held the satchel out to the mare.
"Thank you Bryce, I couldn't forgive myself if they had gotten away," she replied as she hugged Bryce around the waist.
"Uh, you're welcome. Please don't touch me, I had nothing to do with it."
Ditzy quickly let go of Bryce and donned her satchel. She began to walk the way Bryce had just came from. When Bryce didn't follow she turned back and yelled, "Come on Bryce."
"Well I...OK," Bryce said as he reluctantly followed.
They both walked towards Sweet Apple Acres. Suddenly, Ditzy broke the silence, "So what brings you out this far?"
Bryce didn't reply at first, "...Well I...had to get away for a while."
"From what?"
"Well..." Damn, what do I say? If I tell her she'll probably get mad and do worse to me. It seems like every female has it out fr me since I got here. She was concerned for...that one. Or maybe she'll understand. What's the worst she could do that hasn't happened already? Bryce stopped in mid step, standing on his toes at the sudden stop, "I...I was the one that said all those things to...her."
"Really?"
"Yeah...but it's not like I didn't have a reason for it. She..." Bryce pointed to the bruises on his face, "She did this to me."
"Oh...well I knew it was you already." Bryce looked at her in shock, "She was...very descriptive."
"Well was you hitting me intentional?"
"No, I thought you saw me. I was up there, doing my route, when I saw you. You...looked upset."
"Well...I still kind of am. I mean...I'm more upset at myself now then I was at her then."
"Oh don't worry about Rainbow Dash. Believe me, I grew up with her so I know what she's like. You're not the first to say stuff like that to her. Once she's calmed down I'm sure she'll forgive you."
"Well she shouldn't. I know I tend to be honest, but if I'd known she'd react like this...it's just real hard for me to read others." Bryce balled his fists, wanting to dig his nails into his skin, "Look, if you see her again...could you tell her...Tell her I'm sorry and that I'll say it to her if...if she'll let me."
"Sure, it's my job to relay messages after all."
Bryce looked down at Ditzy, "Was that a joke?"
Ditzy began to walk off, "Eh kinda. Come on before it gets dark."
Bryce had to run to catch back up. "Why do they call you 'Derpy' anyway?"
"I...tend to be a little clumsy at times."
"Don't worry about it, it happens to the best and worst of us. Some just more so. It the whole world were alike there'd be no fun in it."
"Yeah, you have a point."
Bryce smirked, "Come on, lets hurry up so you can get back to your 'Muffin'."
Ditzy play punched Bryce, "Shut up."