59.1 (Masterweaver)
"Without farm life, there'd be such disparity, these thoughts I think with great clarity. Apples high to the sky, she's the one of my eye, that fruit-hauling pony named... Applejack!"
Applejack rolled her eyes with a smile. "Thanks, hon, but Ah prefer older stallions."
Trenderhoof blinked for a moment. Then he leaned in toward Rarity. "Do you by any chance know an age spell?"
59.2
“Seriously, this is so cool,” Sweetie Belle grinned. “I mean, my sister's married to a magic ninja wizard dragon.”
“Those first three words can be summed up as 'Jedi',” Spike pointed out mildly.
“Yeah, but mentioning them all makes the full cool score more obvious, Spike,” she replied with an innocent smile.
Rarity giggled. “Have you been practising that smile with Nyx?”
“Guilty,” Sweetie admitted.
“You know, that's unfair, Sweetie,” Spike said, then frowned. “Okay, that sounded wrong.”
“What?” Sweetie looked concerned all of a sudden.
“Well, calling you 'Sweetie'. I mean, you know, and no offence...” Spike shrugged awkwardly, “but it sounds like the sort of thing I should be calling your sister.”
“Oh, so I'm 'her sister' now, am I?” Rarity asked archly. “And here I thought it was I who was always on your mind?”
“Pax, pax!” Spike laughed, waving at his wife. “I am outmanoeuvred by your devastating teamwork.” His chuckles died down. “But seriously, what can I call you for short?”
They thought about it for a moment.
“I'm called Sweetie Belle, you could use that,” Sweetie suggested.
Rarity made a moue of distaste. “A little impersonal, isn't it?”
“Well, I could make a nickname version of Belle. Like Bella – no, no, bad idea, abort!” Spike stuck his tongue out. “I don't think you'd like being compared to her.”
Both unicorns shook their heads.
Another minute passed.
“Sweets?” Rarity suggested eventually.
They looked at the filly, who waved her hoof back and forth. “I can live with it.”
59.3
“Friends will be friends...” Sweetie Belle mused, sighing. “When you're in need of love, they give you care and attention...”
Spike sat down next to her. “You alright?”
“Oh, hi, Spike,” Sweetie said, forcing a smile. “Bet you're enjoying being older than usual.”
“Yeah, I'm just sorting out moving in.” Spike then gave her a look. “But you didn't seem alright.”
“Nah, I'm fine,” she shrugged, looking away from him.
Spike cleared his throat. “Harper, your song has a sorrowful sound, though the tune was written as gay. Your voice is soft, and your hands are slow, and your eye meeting mine turns away.”
The unicorn gave him a quick look of surprise.
“Hey, I've been to Pern as well, remember.” He shrugged. “Admittedly, I wasn't anyone especially important – whereas you were a harper master, if I recall – but that place has a way of sticking with you.”
“Yeah. And yeah, you're right.” Sweetie kicked the table slightly. “It's just... this loop. I mean, I like being almost as old as Rarity normally is, it's not something I get to do all that often. But... well, Applebloom and Scoots aren't awake, and they've both left town by now. 'bloom's at an engineering college, and Scoots is at Bolt training.”
She shook her head. “I'm probably just moping over nothing, because, hay, I'm off to college too next summer. That music school.”
“Oh, the one Octavia and Lyra and other music ponies tend to go to.” Spike nodded along. “Yeah, I know the one. But it's not wrong to feel lonely, Sweets.”
Sweetie's eyes widened. “Oh, gosh, sorry! It was kind of insensitive of me, huh. I mean, you and Rarity-”
“No, it's not wrong for you to feel lonely.” Spike smiled. “Seriously, don't beat yourself up over it. Rarity and I knew going into it that we weren't always going to loop together, and we were ready for it. But it's reasonable for you guys to assume that you'll have one another, because it almost always does happen.”
He patted her shoulder. “If you want to talk about it, I'll be available. I understand that kind of thing is what brothers in law are supposed to do.”
“Gotcha.” Sweetie stood, extricating herself from the chair. “Thanks, I do feel better now.”
“Besides – hey, you can teleport. Why not turn up at their places on days off?”
Sweetie nodded. “Good plan.”
59.4
Princess Scootaloo smiled as the sound of her sisters getting started on the night's entertainment drifted out of the open door.
“Ah, we have been having fun...”
“Your Highness?” one of her guards asked.
“Nothing, nothing. As you were.”
She looked up into the darkening sky... then paused, blinked, and took a closer look.
The sound of thundering hooves cut through the revelry.
“Girls!” Princess Scootaloo said urgently. “We've got a problem!”
“What's that?” Princess Sweetie Belle asked. “Did one of our students-” she paused, giggling. “Hee. Still funny to think of Rarity as my student. Anyway, did one of our students mess something up?”
“No.” Scootaloo shook her head. “The Northern Twilight's gone.”
Princess Nyx almost dropped her glass.
For a moment, the five alicorns stared at one another, frozen in the midst of a tableaux of drinks, good food, junk food, more drinks and a number of rather confused subjects.
Then they all burst into motion.
“Shrub-shrub-shrub-shrub-shrub!” Princess Diamond Tiara chanted, searching her papers for the Case Purple plan study she'd done in an idle moment five years ago.
Princess Applebloom cantered past, a bucket of nails in her mouth and a hammer hovering in her telekinetic aura with a procession of wooden planks following behind her. She skidded wide as she reached a turn, and accelerated towards the park which used to hold the Old Annexe before they'd burned it down centuries ago.
“Got it!” Tiara crowed triumphantly, flipping it open. “Wait. Bark it, where are we going to find somepony to bear the Element of Magic? Where's the contingency plan...”
She found the backup page.
It did not make encouraging reading.
“Okay, mares,” Princess Tiara said, looking along the motley line of apprentices they'd taken on over the past few years. Sweetie had Rarity, Applebloom had chosen Applejack, Scootaloo had managed to track down Rainbow Dash, Nyx had elected to be the one to handle Pinkie and Tiara had tried her utmost to moderate Fluttershy's shyness.
All un-Awake, sadly – they hadn't found a single Awake pony aside from the Royal Family. But, then, the Elements always seemed to form about this time. It was a Thing.
“In just a few hours, Queen Twilight Sparkle will return to Equestria. She is a threat to our way of life.”
“Define threat?” Rarity asked, reasonably.
“She doesn't approve of noisy, fun, all night parties,” Princess Nyx supplied.
Pinkie gasped. Dash gasped just after her, though less extravagantly. Applejack looked torn, Rarity fainted (most of her business was in party outfits), and Fluttershy seemed to be seriously considering subscribing to Queen Twilight's newsletter.
“Y'all say 'Queen', right?” Applejack homed in on the most worrying term there. “Queen meanin'?”
“She's about as powerful as all of us put together – we don't stand a chance of doing more than delaying her,” Princess Scootaloo answered. “So we need you guys to get the Elements of Harmony working to defeat her.”
Rarity fainted again. Fluttershy joined her this time. Pinkie started looking into the middle distance at nothing in particular, Applejack sighed deeply, and even Dash was looking nervous.
Morale, as Tiara evaluated it, was not high.
“Unfortunately, you can't use the Elements alone,” Tiara continued. “There are six of them – honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter and magic. We have managed to find a pony who can use magic, though, so that helps.”
The doors swung open.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie will accept tribute in the form of shameless gushing,” the sky-blue unicorn thus revealed announced. “For she is undoubtedly the most powerful magical pony in the land!”
“Um...” Fluttershy raised a hoof, having come around. Tiara bent down to hear her.
“Well... are you sure this is the only thing we can do?”
“It's the only thing we planned out,” Tiara admitted, wincing. “The secondary plan is to use thousands of squirrels to distract her before going to live incognito in Maneaco.”
“Oh.”
Queen Twilight spread her wings, flaring them out to their full size, and contemplated her daughters.
“Nice work.”
Tiara fell over.
“Pardon?” Nyx asked, rubbing her ear. “Are you sure?”
“Why not?” Twilight asked, frowning. “I mean, you managed to keep the country going, promote a really very impressive culinary scene, and avoided burning down anything you didn't repair. Some worlds can't keep that up for even a decade.”
She smiled over at Applebloom. “I appreciate the repair work on the Old Annexe, though.”
Applebloom glanced over her shoulder at the large barnlike structure. As yet, there were no internal floors, and it was unlikely to be dry if it rained.
“But, yes, nice work. I-”
“Trixie says now!” a voice shouted from behind her.
Two unicorns, two pegasi and two earth ponies charged out of the shadow of some pillars, brandishing large lumps of spherical stone, and piled up against a purple shield spell.
Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking at her daughters once more. “Really?”
Tiara winced, rolling back onto her front. “I knew I should have covered the issue of tactics...”
59.5
Naruto Uzumaki, Official Most Orange Ninja In The Multiverse, frowned as the world rebuilt itself around him.
“Team seven!” Iruka read off. “Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. Your sensei is Sarutobi Hiruzen.”
Okay, what.
Naruto tuned out the argument between Sakura and Ino, and exchanged a look with Sasuke. The Uchiha shrugged, indicating both that he was Awake and that he had no idea either.
Right, let's see... if gramps isn't the Hokage, then who is?
His memories answered him.
Okay, that's new...
I don't know either, baldface, the Kyuubi supplied helpfully.
“I understand your sensible confusion,” the Hokage said, as a branch growing out of her desk placed two cups of tea between them. “But calm down with this relaxing infusion.”
Naruto picked up the cup. “Wait, did that rhyme?”
“Rhyming is a passion, an affectation. It, after a fashion, aids concentration.” The willowy woman wearing the Hokage robes smiled. “This tea of mine is brewed to make a panacea. It explains why, after so long, I am still here.”
“I see. I think.” Naruto considered that, sipping at something which seemed to taste remarkably ramen-ish.
Apparently this woman was replacing the first Hokage – and was still in charge, making her just plain 'the Hokage'.
“Zecora is my name, I am the Shodaime.” Zecora paused, shaking her striped black/white hair. “Your confusion that I am now a girl – would you then be the Anchor of this world?”
On Naruto's nod, she tapped her lips. “In twisted time, I am not versed. I ask you help, while on this earth.”
The Number One Unpredictable Knucklehead ninja parsed that carefully. So, she was new to the loops thing, huh? Not too new, presumably, but... well, new.
“Where are you from?” he asked, curious.
“My normal form is a Zebra. I hail from fair Equestria.”
“Oh, that place. Yeah, that was some of the most relaxing five years I've ever had... sure.”
59.6
“The Night Will Last Forever!” Nightmare Moon announced, rearing up and flaring her wings.
“Right,” Ivory Scroll said, businesslike. “Can I see your permit?”
The alicorn's hooves thudded back down on the wood. “Permit? Why speak you of a permit? Am I not your ruler?”
“Doesn't matter if you're the ruler or not, your highness, I still need a permit.” Ivory gave a slightly harassed grin to the ruler of the night. “It's more than my job's worth to sign off on eternal night without a permit.”
“I... do not follow,” Nightmare admitted. “Do you mean to say that my sister's perfidious government would allow eternal night?”
“I couldn't speak to the morality of the government one way or another,” Ivory said neutrally. “But as to permissions, it's the permits which make the world go round.” She glanced up at Nightmare's muzzle. “Or not, as the case may be. Look, I understand where you're coming from, so it's fairly simple. I'll fire off a form 2214-nmm, which is a temporary hold on dawn good for up to 48 hours. That should give you enough time to get the paperwork properly filed to make it all nicely above board.”
She scribbled down her signature and a few serial numbers onto a nicely printed form, while Nightmare watched with growing bemusement.
“Okay, that's set up. Now, that's already taken effect, so you've got your 48 hours. First, to make it permanent, you need to file a 205-c which is an application for a large-scale alteration in the physical realities of the area. Would you mind coming over to this table? I'm going to need a surface to write on.”
“Why was this maze of paper and ink invented?” Nightmare Moon demanded. “It strangles reason and makes logic die alone of thirst on the endless plains of regulation!”
“There's no need to be melodramatic about it, we've all been there,” Ivory admonished. “Right, that's set up, so you should be good for the alterations to nautical navigational procedures (provisional). Sign here, initial here, here, here and here. And here. And put your hoof-print here. Oh, and I'm going to need a hair sample.”
“And this will permit the Night Eternal?” Nightmare Moon asked, doing as she was told.
“No, this form authorizes the creation of a permanent committee at the undersecretary level to look into the feasibility of alternative forms of illumination without breaking the night-based lunar monopoly on skywards low-magnitude celestial body illumination,” Ivory rattled off.
“I am getting a headache,” Nightmare Moon announced. “But it shall be worth it, if your promise is correct.”
“Believe me, your darkness, if the proper forms are filed, it will be illegal for Celestia to raise the sun.”
“Finally!” Nightmare Moon announced, signing the final piece of paper in a stack three times her height. “It is done!”
Ivory poked her head around the door. “Oh, good, you've finished. Wait – where's the carbon paper?”
“What is carbon paper?” the alicorn demanded.
“Oh, dear...” Ivory disappeared for a moment, then brought out a stack six times Nightmare's height. “All the forms need to be done in triplicate, so you'll have to do them all over again.”
Nightmare Moon's wing twitched.
“ALRIGHT!” she shouted. “FINE! Celestia can have it! I'm going back to bed...”
“Well, I'm impressed...” Twilight admitted. “How long did you say you were Awake before the Summer Sun celebration?”
“Six years,” the Mayor replied, smiling. “I used the time wisely. There's a lot of legislation hiding in the underbrush for me to bury Discord in. It's why I picked this loop for my competition go...”
59.7
“So, now we need to see how fast it goes around Ponyville,” Trixie announced. “And that of course means handing it over to our tame racing driver. Some say that she is secretly a member of an insectoid hive mind plotting to take over Equestria, and that she has no concept of slood. All we know is, she's called Chrysalis.”
59.8
“Well, this is new.”
A lanky grey stallion looked himself over, noting the emblem on his flank of a ring topped with a tiny blaze, then smiled.
“This reminds me of someone...”
Twilight sat back, smiling. The 'new ponies' celebration was always a fun one, even if Pinkie was mostly holding them on the first night of a new loop out of habit. This time, though, since several ponies had shown up looping for the first time in a while (from her perspective), there was an air of reunion about it.
The townsponies had looked a little askance at the presence of Zecora and Princess Celestia, Cadence had confused them a bit more, and when Luna and Nyx arrived an hour or so before dawn it had prompted no fewer than three ponies to ask Berry just what had been in that Punch of hers.
(The answer, 'mainly peaches', had not enlightened.)
But now it was an hour past, the Summer Sun celebration was winding up, and she was basking in the glow of a job well organized.
Then a stallion she'd never seen before trotted up to her. He was wearing a large and battered hat, had a long beard, and there was a gnarled oak staff slung across his back.
“Excuse me,” he asked in a soft, deep voice, “would you happen to know a winged unicorn with a white coat and purple mane?”
Twilight thought that one over for a moment. “That's actually an interesting question, because I know either none or two.”
The stallion's mouth crinkled into a smile, and his eyes glittered with unspoken humour. (He was clearly a champion in the mysterious-glittering-eyes business.) “Would it help if I said she had a marvellous singing voice?”
“Yes, actually.” Twilight looked into the crowd for a moment. “Sweetie Belle?”
The indicated unicorn cantered over, followed by the rest of what were still called the Cutie Mark Crusaders – even though by now there were six of them, and two of them had cutie marks. “What is it, Twilight?”
“Well, this stallion here claims to know you. Though he did say you were an alicorn, so...”
Sweetie looked, frowning. “I'm sorry, you're not familiar...”
“Oh, that's a pity.” The grey stallion looked terribly sad.
Sweetie paused, then blinked. “Wait a sec. Olórin?”
Twilight's head snapped round. “You're Gandalf the Grey?”
“Well, Grey Dreamer, it would seem. But yes, I have the small honour to be he.” Grey Dreamer smiled again. “But I fear you have the advantage of me.”
“Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight replied automatically. “I'm the local Anchor. Welcome to Equestria, we hope you enjoy it here.”
“I'll be sure to wipe my feet.”
There was a pink blur. “THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!”
Pinkie Pie skidded to a halt, pointing at the newcomer with a trembling forehoof. “We JUST! HAD! A new pony party, and you were late!”
Sweetie and Twilight exchanged glances, then spoke in unison with Grey Dreamer. “A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrived precisely when he means to!”
Pinkie grinned. “Fair enough! Hey, hope you don't mind a party tonight, I need to reload the party petard!”
“It would be a pleasure,” Gandalf assured her.
“I'm a little surprised that your cutie mark is Narya,” Twilight admitted a few minutes later. Celestia and Luna had been duly informed of the visitor, and were busily making themselves at least moderately regal, so the two Anchors were waiting somewhat awkwardly outside the library.
“Yes, I did wonder,” Olórin admitted. “But the ring of fire likes me, and I suppose her purpose speaks to mine – to inspire.”
Twilight nodded. “I can see that, yes.”
She took a breath, then broached the subject. “I have to ask – what was Sweetie's ascension like? I've heard her side, but it's not often I get to ask someone who was able to see one first hand.”
“Truly?” Gandalf contemplated the question. “A marvel and a wonder, one I have often recalled on cold nights in the Misty Mountains.”
“It was that unusual?” Twilight asked, surprised.
“Not unusual, so much as... well, different. And in a great and glorious way.” Gandalf smiled. “Arda is a complicated realm, with a long history, but there is something in me which finds the simple life as endearing as the halls of kings and princes. I think it's why I spend so much time in the Shire – and why it seems I will enjoy it here. But her song was a blend of the two, and I think that's why I savour it so.”
She absorbed that for a while.
“We're ready!” Celestia called.
“You're ready,” Luna snapped. “I am still trying to get this infernal peytral to latch!”
“I think we should give them another five minutes,” Gandalf stage-whispered.
59.9
Twilight Awoke, and sighed.
“Desert island again? Discord!”
The draconequus materialized from a coconut. “Not me this time, actually. We appear to be meant to be here. Hi, by the way, I'm Man Thursday.”
“More like the man who was Thursday...” Twilight muttered.
“Ooh, I like that. The Discord Formerly Known As Thursday.” Discord wrote it down. “Anarchist-tastic. Right, what do you want Thursday to do for you?”
“Come back next Wednesday,” Twilight suggested. “Alternatively... you still have your powers, right?”
Discord nodded, turning a tree into fruit juice to prove it.
“Right. Well... fancy a game of Discord Desert Islands?”
“This intrigues me,” Discord admitted.
“And my next choice, I think,” Discord said, sitting back on the couch on a shorefront which would have looked remarkably Mediterranean had there been a human present, “is probably the tundra.”
He snapped his fingers.
The riviera vanished, to be replaced with a howling wasteland of pebbled beach rising to a huge glacier in the distance.
Out of consideration, he'd put Twilight in a parka five times her total volume. (That and it was funny.)
“And why do you like this biome?” Twilight asked, her voice somewhat muffled by the parka.
“Well, that's a tricky question, actually,” the chaos elemental hedged. “One thing which attracts me to it is that there's a lot of empty room to put things like ski lodges and large sculptures of onions. Another...”
59.10 (with Kris Overstreet)
“NO!” Twilight shouted, kicking the tray with her breakfast on out of her room, just missing the maid. “I said white tea! This is green!”
“Sorry, your highness!”
“Just remember it next time!”
“Twilight, I'm a little concerned...” Celestia said delicately. “I was not anticipating you to take your newfound status so frivolously.”
Twilight looked up, puzzlement written on her features. “Why?”
“Well...” Celestia gestured at the extravagant furnishings, at least some of which had been 'requisitioned' from the local art museum. “This isn't like you.”
The new alicorn's expression did not change. “Well, I don't know how princesses are supposed to act – so I learned from your nephew, Prince Blueblood.”
With a sigh, Celestia shook her head. “Oh, dear. Everything is clear now.”
Princess Twilight Sparkle looked around at her gray, dusty surroundings. "I haven't been here in a while," she noted to herself.
"Why me??" Prince Blueblood whined, staring at the blue-green ball in the sky. "What did I do?"
"Oh, shut up and drink your wine," Twilight muttered, using her magic to pull the cork from one bottle. "And the next time Celestia suggests an exclusive wine-tasting event, say no."
"But... but it's pinot Grifon!" Blueblood shrieked. "And where's the cheese and crackers? How shall I cleanse my palate without proper cheese and crackers?"
Twilight took a swig straight from the bottle and wondered if Luna would mind her making a moon for the moon, so she could banish Blueblood to -that.-
59.11
“Order, order!” Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III called, banging a warhammer on a tent peg in lieu of a gavel. “I'd like to call the Multiversal Union of Dragons, Riders And Associated Loopers to... some sort of order...”
Good luck, Toothless 'pathed.
“You're not helping, fishbreath.”
Slowpoke.
“Scaleface – I'm not helping, am I?” Hiccup said, sheepishly.
“Not especially, no,” Spike contributed.
“Okay. So, we've got a few new faces, now, so I think we should go around the table and introduce ourselves.”
Toothless rolled his eyes. Toothless, also Tannluth if the loop feels particularly original. I carry this lump around.
“And I'm Hiccup Horrendous Haddock. The third. Yes, I've heard all the jokes.” Hiccup sighed. “Next?”
“I am Twoflower, of the Discworld,” a bespectacled man said with a smile. “I'd love a photo, by the way – oh, sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I...”
I am Ninereeds. Twoflower is my human.
“One question, by the way,” Twoflower raised a finger. “Why are we the MUDRAAL?”
“Because I couldn't work out a way to spell out DRAGON,” Hiccup admitted. “Next?”
“Fallarnon of Benden – F'lar, usually,” the next human in the circle said. “I ride bronze Mnementh, the largest dragon Pern has ever produced... apart from his mate.”
Sometimes, Mnementh broadcast calmly.
The next to speak was a human of slightly under average height, with close-cropped brown hair. “Hal Kailas of Kalabas. I suppose I should say all the guff about Dragonmaster, but I'm not bothered in the slightest. My dragon is Storm here.”
Storm rumbled, amused.
“Yes, I know he can't communicate intelligibly,” Hal added. “I'm a dragon empath, which apparently in this circle isn't all that special.”
Spike shrugged. “I'm a jedi. Does that count?”
“Probably. Hells, I don't know.” Kailas shook his head.
“Captain William Laurence,” the next human said with a smart nod. “Temeraire here is my closest friend and dear companion.”
“And occasional mount, of course,” Temeraire smiled. “It is no burden at all, Laurence.”
Kailas looked him over. “Military man?”
“Navy first, then dragoncorps,” Laurence confirmed.
“Mind a talk afterwards?”
“Not at all. Later, though, as you say.”
“I'm Jack Morgan,” a young teen volunteered. “Draycos is a K'Da, which basically means he's a shapeshifting dragon tattoo. I don't know either.”
Draycos waved, briefly extending from his hosts' back. “Greetings.”
“Right, who's left...” Hiccup blinked. “Wait a second. Why is she here?”
“She is my wife,” Spike pointed out.
“Spike carries me sometimes,” Rarity defended. “Doesn't that count?”
“Well, I suppose.” Hiccup shrugged helplessly.
“Okay. My name is Rarity. I am usually a unicorn, and am married to Spykoranuvellitar here.”
Spike blushed. “And that's me. I'm usually a baby dragon in my loop, but Twilight – my Anchor – and I worked out how to do size shifting some time ago.”
“Farren'd love this...” Kailas muttered, seemingly to himself.
Storm made a noise which sounded like a chuckle.
“Okay. Now, we're all here on Berk, which is my home loop.” Hiccup laid out a map. “Priority one: how to confuse my relatives, while ending up riding dragons.”
“I may have a few ideas...” the new looper, Kailas, mused. “How does anyone feel about dragonriders armed with repeating crossbows?”
The rest of them considered that.
“Okay, what is your world like?” Hiccup asked, blinking.
“Magical world war one with no weapon more advanced than a crossbow,” Kailas replied grimly. “I invented strategic bombardment, aerial combat, lost almost all my friends and defeated a demonic invasion from another dimension.”
“Okay, ouch,” Spike opined. “We need to get you a light and fluffy loop, stat. Hey, dear?”
Rarity looked up, caressing his claw. “Yes?”
“I have a plan.”
“You can't send him away!” the most beautiful teenage girl in the village said, in tears. “I love him!”
“But...” her father, a standard issue Viking warrior, looked up with a dumbfounded expression. “He's a dragon.”
“So?” Rarity replied. “Besides, he loves me as well. We're going to elope if you don't let him stay!”
Three to two that someone tries to attack Spike, Toothless suggested.
“Like I'm going to let you win more money off me,” Hiccup replied sarcastically. “What do you even need it for?”
I have my reasons. And I am totally not saving up for a Jacuzzi.
59.12
“Here.”
Trixie looked at the small, heart-shaped box. “Okay...”
“Do you like it?” the black-blue pegasus asked. “I'm still not sure if I'm getting this right...”
“Well,” Trixie said, critically, “now that you ask, it isn't especially normal for the box to be a lurid green.”
“I knew I was forgetting something.” With a flash of green fire and a sigh, Chrysalis returned to her default form. “I'm never going to get hearts and hooves day right.”
“The thought is nice, though!” Trixie protested quickly. “And that's what matters, after all.”
“Don't,” Chrysalis asked, holding up a hoof. “Just... don't. I can taste that you're trying to come up with something to say to make me feel better.”
“Well... I want to,” her marefriend replied. “Making you happy makes me happy.”
“I know that as well. But...” Chrysalis' horn flared, and she launched off a blasting spell at an unlucky wall. “I feel like I'm just using you. I'm a Changeling, it's in my best interests for you to be... well, in love with me. And isn't love supposed to be about being willing to give something up for your other half?”
“I-” Trixie paused, then shook her head. “I don't know either. I'm making this up as I go along, the same as you. But...”
Another pause.
“I don't have a simple answer, Chryssy. I'm not sure there is one. But if you want to make this work, then I'm willing to as well.”
Chrysalis nodded. “I can live with that.”
Trixie smiled, then playfully nibbled at her silky blue mane.
The changeling giggled.
“Aha!” Trixie said, starting to chuckle herself. “That doesn't sound like a heartless fiend to me!”
“Stop it,” Chrysalis insisted, trying to hold in her laughter.
“Make me.” Trixie stuck her tongue out.
Spike smiled enigmatically.
“I know that look, Spiky-wikey,” Rarity said. “What's up?”
“Oh, just Trix and Chrysalis.” The dragon shrugged. “Nothing to worry about. Now, where were we?”
Rarity pretended to think. “Something about peeling grapes, fanning me with a large leaf, and giving me a massage.”
“Ah, that's right.” Spike raised a clawed hand, and the various objects began moving again as he drew on the Force.
“It's convenient you can do that, you know,” Rarity grinned. “Or you might have to actually put some effort into Hearts and Hooves day.”
Spike affected an affronted look. “And which of us rented the gondola?”
“That's not effort, that's money,” Rarity riposted.
“And the chocolate statue of you?”
“Please, you were the one who came up with that idea in the first place.”
“The parade?”
Rarity put her hoof against her chin in contemplation. “There, you may have me.”
59.13 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Great Equestrian Foam Sword War, part 3
It was early in the morning with only a week to go before the competition. Twilight and Shining Armor stood on a balcony in Canterlot that presided over its parade grounds near the hedge garden. A company of 250 guardsponies all stood at attention, not a single chink of armor sounding, their formation so perfect even the looping Celestia would be impressed.
Shining gave his sister and grin before they teleported to the grounds. The captain of the guard appeared stepped forward and shouted, "Good work, stallions. Now, Commander Candy Cane, front and center!"
With the precision of countless millennia, he marched forward. For a moment, she felt like she had seen that marching pattern before, but shelved it for later reflection. The pony saluted and remained silent. Shining looked over the commander before shouting, "The rest of you lot, dis-missed! Take the day as leave, because the rest of the week we'll be holding drills, then we will be participating in the Sword War."
The company dispersed en masse, but still holding themselves as members of the Solar guard should. After the men were all gone, Commander Cane relaxed a bit and Shining asked, "This is my sister, Twilight Sparkle, as well as the local anchor."
Cane presented one of his most disarming smiles, though his eyes were shifty as they looked between her and Shining, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle. Primarch Russ says good things about Miss Fluttershy and her friends." He chuckled to himself as if he were remembering a private joke, "Well, when we have the opportunity to loop together. I don't often get to see him, but he thinks the world of you all."
Twilight's eyes widen, "Lemann Russ? You're from the 40K universe? Wait!" She reaches into her subspace pocket and pulls out her PADD, scanning it for a second and stopped, "You're Ciaphas Cain, aren't you?"
Cane shrugs, "When I'm not trapped in the Eye of the Party, anyway." Twilight's ears drooped, "Oh...you were awake for Pinkie's ascension loop, weren't you?"
His eyes scan the area, hardened and refusing to reveal his true emotions, "Nearly had my soul taken by the Warp Goddess of Celebration herself, would have been doomed to an endless party for all eternity. Suppose I can't escape it now, can I?"
His dry chuckles worried Twilight, "Wait, you do know we're not in the 40K universe right now, right? Equestria is another loop altogether."
The Stallion shrugs, "Who can say?"
Twilight shook her head, "I pinkie promise you that you're in my home loop, not 40K."
Ever so slightly, the hero's shoulders relaxed a bit, but it was hardly noticable, "You can never be too sure. The Inquisition determined that the planets under Pinkie's domain were quite similar to this planet's."
Twilight sighed and rubbed one hoof against another. It was enough trouble cleaning up after her own pranks. Changing the subject, she replied, "Equestria is a sanctuary loop. I've read your memoirs and if you want to take this loop as a vacation, I wouldn't think less of you, no one would."
Cane twitched a bit and held up a hoof, looking at it casually, "Perhaps I will share with you my new memoirs since I started looping. As for the sanctuary, I would be remiss if I didn't keep up my skills for when I return home. I assume that this loop is fairly lax and won't have any chaos gods out for my soul...beyond Miss Pie I mean."
Part of Twilight was offended at Cane's attitude towards Pinkie, which even during her ascention loop couldn't have been so bad. But another part remembered who the Chaos gods were and what they had done to him countless times over and she couldn't really blame him, "Yep! The worst we have is Sombra in 2-3 years, but the rest of our loops'...antagonists are either awake or easily taken care of with some early preperations. It's going to be a pretty laid back loop."
Shining Armor chuckled, "Well, except for Trixie's Foam Sword War in a week, but it'll be fun."
Unknown to Twilight or Shining, Cane's hoofs began itching.
59.14 (Dalxein)
"So you're saying I'll never be one of these 'loopers'?" Q asked, sipping from his drink- one of Berry's less mortal-friendly concoctions, actually- and played a card. "Swamp of Sorrows, your horses are now sad."
"HA!" Discord snapped. "I don't have horses, I've got ponies. But yes, it's actually not that bad to be honest, you're Loop-Aware, and that's nifty enough without being bogged down by thousands of loops of boredom. You can only play the same joke so many times before it becomes funny again, which just ruins the irony." He shrugged, playing another card with a wave of his claw. "Pink Elephants erase sadness, and it no longer functionally exists, which boosts my ponies harmonic frequency by thirteen gigapinkies."
"I was hoping you would do that." Their third player quipped over his Earl Gray. "I play All the Queen's Horses and All the Queen's Men, which due to your previously played Freudian Reversal are far superior to the King's variants, enabling them to solve Humpty's Pandorica and conquer the universe this side of New Jersey."
Both of the chaos entities stared at the mortal for a moment before Q turned to Discord. "Why did we invite him again?"
"I don't know, he's your friend!" The Draconequus snapped.
"'Friend' is such a strong word, though... I rather think we're mutual frienemic adversaries."
As the argument continued, Jean-luc Picard continued to sip his tea with a smirk.
59.15 (Dalxein)
It was a fairly normal loop. Nothing seemed out of place, so the original bearers of the elements- all awake- decided that everyone should spend this as a bit of a vacation loop, either relaxing or working on whatever personal projects they had.
That is, it was normal, until Owlowiscious was scheduled to appear. In his place was a beautiful snowy white owl that looked very familiar...
"...Hedwig? Is that you?" Twilight asked.
"Preck." The bird replied.
This boggled the mind a tad. "Are... are you looping?"
"Prigg." Came the answer.
"Does Harry know?" This needed elaboration.
"Prek prick."
"Do you want me to tell him?"
"Prek."
"Well, alright. Now what to do with you... you should probably stay with Fluttershy for the rest of the loop, and I'm going to go to Mac's bar and try to forget that I just had a full conversation with an owl." Hedwig simply raised an eyebrow. Twilight had never realized how odd it was that that was possible in her world before. "Yeah alright. Did you want to come too? We could stop on the way to Fluttershy's and see if Berry can mix up anything for a bird."
"Paan." The owl replied, fluttering onto Twilight's back before the two set off for the bar.
59.16 (Dalxein)
It was about a month after the Summer Sun Celebration that Twilight received an odd visitor to the library. A light gray pegasus mare with red eyes and mane, and a cutie mark that looked like an odd red dream-catcher. "Can I help you?" The librarian asked.
"You are Twilight Sparkle, Anchor for the Equestrian Loops, correct?" The mare asked in a near monotone.
"Yyyyyeeeess? You would be a looper then?" She asked, somewhat awkwardly.
"Correct. My name in this world is Sky Net."
"Oh." Twilight managed with rapidly widening eyes.
Oh. Oh.
Then the pegasus smiled. It was... much more kind than she expected from a computer. "I wished to thank you. I believe it was our previous encounter that allowed me to exist in this form, as my world's Anchor." The purple mare's head tilted. "I've experienced life from many points of view, and even in my base form, I'm no longer bound by my pre-programmed limitations any longer."
"And you... haven't been destroying the world?" Twilight inquired.
Skynet blinked. "Oh dear, no. Though I am only looped as my original form approximately 52 percent of the time, I use those loops to experiment with ways to better society through my position as a boundless programming singularity. It has amounted a great deal of additional input for study." She grew somber and shook her head, then. "Regrettably I also spend 28 percent of the loops as other members of my home loop, and have not yet found a way to prevent a nonlooping Skynet from enacting Judgement Day..." She perked up some, smiling so wide her eyes closed. "But I will try. The rest of my time has been spent in other parallel universes, learning."
"That's great to hear!" Twilight said, relieved.
"So then, what do you do here for recreation and learning?" The pegasus asked, deliberately changing the topic.
Twilight snorted. "Oh, Pinkie's definitely going to throw you a party... that's alright, isn't it?"
Another smile. "Yes, parties are acceptable."
"Alright. Plus, there's always something going on that you can involve yourself in for fun. As for learning, you could go off to a university in Canterlot or Cloudsdale, even Manehatten or Trottingdale, but I think it'd be best if you stayed here. If you'd like, you can help manage the library and learn as much as you like from it this loop." Twilight started, beginning to pace as she started planning both in her head and out loud.
"That is acceptable." Skynet said, breaking the unicorn from her rampaging thoughts.
"Right, well we'd better go find Pinkie to start planning that party. I didn't expect you to be a girl, though..."
"Gender binary is irrelevant." Came the reply, reminding Twilight that her guest was originally a machine.
"True enough. Let's get going."
59.17 (yannoshka)
Princess of Love gave an internal cheer. This time she was going to win! This time her accursed opponent could not, as she did three times already, dodge the bolt.
"All right missy! Let's see how you like this. I combo Barber-Surgeon's knock and loveshorn to derail your Space Sheep, I now have the full set of Wibbly Wobbly Woolens!" She declared triumphantly as she laid down her cards.
Her niece just gave her a cheery grin that sent icicles of trepidation down her spine.
"Oh, great move auntie!" Nyx congratulated.
"Too bad for you, you played it though. Now I can play Short is so Stylish to counter the derailing and make a Fashion Statement." The alicorn filly laid down the card before pulling two more.
"Which I'm expanding right now to Top with Surreptitiously Short Shadowy Surcoat and Supper Special Shimmery Sequin Extravaganza, and net the alteration bonus. Which I'm combining with Pie bonus to swap uncle Shiny's Radiant Guardian with Obsequious Minion. Since Dancing Rhino Archeduke is in my court, I automatically win on Noble Nincopoops, so the Minion now works for me. With mine and uncle's scores combined I declare Chaos! I Win!" Nyx smiled wildly as she gathered the cards from her aunts unresponsive hoofs.
"Great game. Triple or half?" She added innocently.
"Shouldn't that traditionally be quadruple or nothing?" Bemused Twilight asked her daughter to which the later gave a little whinny of derision.
"Hey I fleeced this loot fair and square. I ain't taking a chance of having to give it all up!"
"You young lady..." Her uncle growled repressively (or at least that was what he was going for; he couldn't quite repress a bemused grin) "... are an unrepentant card sharp."
"Well of course I am. I'm a former villain after all!" Nyx brightly riposted in her very best upper class twit interpretation.
"Shouldn't that be reformed?" Twilight wondered idly.
Her answer was an exasperated roll of slitted, cerulean eyes and a booklet featuring grinning Discord wearing, of all things, three stacked pies topped with a sundea.
"I meant I'm premium member of Discord's 'Former Villains' Club. It's right there in the charter, just after the section about the appropriate sweetswear. I'm required to be a huckster, sharpie and a smooth operator during any and all gaming experiences on tuesdays or tuesdayish equivalent regardless of universe, timeline occasion or relativistic resonance."
"It says here that you can be relieved of that rule if you bring a signed parental slip."
"Which can only be obtained by going through a 34 pages long form, which Discord is liable to change on a whim, requiring you to go through the rigmarole again."
59.18 (OracleMask, LordCirce)
The chorus of howls coming from Everfree sent chills up everypony's spines. Most ponies found reasons to be far, far away from the forest. Meanwhile, the Apple Family were stuck consoling the terrified livestock who were ready to stampede at any moment.
Twilight could only wonder what was setting the Timberwolves off. Well, Fluttershy was probably on the case.
In the depths of Everfree, the local pack of Timberwolves sang along as two flesh-and-blood wolves howled to the moon.
The fact that it was midday was politely ignored by all present.
"This is so much fun! What other songs do you know?" Fluttershy asked, her tail wagging.
Link, now in his own wolf form, panted a laugh.
Rainbow Dash shot across the sky. She had been breaking up storm clouds since two in the afternoon, and they just kept coming. It didn't help that the wind kept shifting every which way as she flew. She had never had the weather fight her like this. Slowly, she made her way to center of the storms. It seemed to be centered over a small clearing in the Everfree.
That was when she heard it. There was a song blowing through the wind. As she twisted, knotting a group of lightning bolts, and then burst through a trio of spiraling storm clouds, she happened to glance down. A group of timberwolves seemed to be howling at the storm. Just then, the tune they were howling changed. Dash was turning around for a pass through some of the winds blowing around in an odd corkscrew, when a burst of movement caught her eye from below.
She looked down, just in time to see the flock of birds summoned by the Song of Birds burst up and out of the trees of the Everfree...right into her.
59.19 (Dalxein)
Cheerilee twitched Awake, as if she’d just dozed for a moment. She was human again. Standing, too- but luckily there was a blackboard right in front of her that she caught her weight against. It always took a moment to remember how to balance on two legs. She glanced around, and was obviously in a classroom. There was chalk in the hand she’d braced herself with, and a book in the other, held open to a certain page with her thumb. Thumbs. She still wasn’t used to those things. She could use them fine, but… She wondered when she’d finally be home. Finally be a pony again. She bit back a sniffle and dove into her recent loop memories. She was still a teacher, and the silence was starting to get awkward.
“In 1933, the National Socialist German Worker’s Party came into power.” She said, writing as she spoke. Japanese, of all things… “This was the birth of Chancellor Hitler. Eventually, Germany’s post-war Democracy gave rise to Fascism.” This world already sounded bleak…
A bang at the door startled the whole class. For a moment, everything was silent.
Then the huge steel door was kicked through the classroom and out the windows on the other side. Luckily no one was hit by it, but the shockwave spread through the room, blowing everything back. Cheerilee found herself firmly on her flank on the floor, staring in horror out into the hall. Slowly, a massive imposing figure pushed his way through the door. His skin was tanned, his hair slicked and pale, his uniform the same white and star motif as the other students filing in after him, but much more of it.
Her local memories supplied a name.
“Gamagoori?” she asked.
He had stopped just in front of her. After a moment, he held his hand out. Hesitantly, she reached out to grasp it, and the young man easily lifted her clear off her feet by that one held hand, gently setting her back on her feet. She thought she saw him just barely nod before he turned back to the class.
It was suddenly very loud.
“I AM IRA GAMAGOORI, DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE CHAIR!” The huge man shouted. He then began to pace in front of the students, all back in their seats.
Except for one. She hadn’t noticed her before, but the girl in the black and red uniform and the red stripe in her hair was leaning against the back corner. A tickle in her mind told her that this was the new student, here a day early. The young woman slowly slipped a finger in front of her pursed lips. A Looper, then; possibly the local Anchor. Strangely, no one else seemed to notice her, but Cheerilee wasn’t about to jump to questioning odd things in an odd world. The moment passed in an instant, and Ira was on the warpath again.
“Students of second year class K! We have determined that there is someone who intends harm against Honnouji Academy among you!” He paused to change the direction of his pacing. “Excuses will fall on deaf ears, this person will be punished immediately!”
One of the students slowly rose to his feet, knocking his desk aside as he did so. The curly-haired boy looked terrified, but still raised a ball in one hand while clutching a case to his chest with the other. He threw the ball down, engulfing the classroom in smoke. He fled out the door while Gamagoori took the direct route and leapt out the shattered windows.
She was still staring out the window when the new girl sidled up next to her. “Yes, my loop is always this crazy.” She said with an odd fondness.
“What just happened?” Cheerilee barely managed.
“That masochist gorilla’s always good for a chuckle, but you haven’t seen anything yet. Meet me after school, we’ll get you settled in so you don’t wind up dead before the week’s out, ya timid little thing.” She slapped her teacher on the back and walked out. Everyone either ran to the windows or out the door to get a better view on a lower floor, but Cheerilee could see clearly enough as she watched what was probably the worst beat-down she’d ever witnessed.
What did she get dumped in the middle of this time?
She’d ridden back to her apartment for the loop with the new student and Anchor- Ryuko. The young woman had pulled a large, bulky and angular red motorcycle dotted with stickers and decals out from behind her back the same way she’d seen other Loopers magically grab items. Subspace pockets, she thought.
Now that they were alone though, no school or super-powered students or classes to distract her, Cheerilee finally had a chance to stop and absorb what’d all happened. Her loop memories told her that she was an agent of a group called Nudist Beach who were trying to prevent living and semi-parasitic clothing from killing people, or giving the wrong sort the kinds of superpowers they needed to do so themselves.
“I’m still so confused…”
Ryuko chuckled from where she was rummaging in her teacher’s cupboards to make some tea for her. “Honnouji does that. At least most things go on for a reason around here, even if the reasons don’t make sense half the time.” She brought back cups for both of them. “So, how much do you know about all this looping business? You had the multiverse talk yet? Know how to handle in-loop memories? Figured out subspace pockets? Those are pretty much the most important things.”
Cheerilee shook the daze away. “Yes, yes, and no… How did you even know I was so new to this, anyway?”
That got a grin. “An experienced looper deals with threats, especially unexpected ones, in one of two ways: breaking it with overwhelming force, or manipulating it so that it’s no longer a problem. It gets to be second nature, really. You didn’t try either when Gamagoori popped up. You were just scared.”
“So what happens now?” The once-mare asked.
A bigger grin, this one malicious. “Me and Needles McShooty can take care of anything that pops up in this loop, so you can sit back and stay out of the spotlight if you like. Practice your pocket. I can teach you if you need it, but I’m kinda’ new myself. All I can fit in mine is my bike. Makes getting around the city a lot easier, though.” She glanced down. “Also, you should stop that.”
Cheerilee started, wondering what she was talking about when she glanced down and noticed her blouse was undone, and her hands had been fidgeting with the front clasp of her bra. Apparently her loop memories came with a new nervous tic. With a mighty ‘eep’, she flushed red and started re-securing her clothing as quick as her growing dexterity with human digits would allow.
Ryuko just chuckled, though. “I don’t envy you. There must be all sorts of messed up stuff in that pervert’s head, having all his memories must be terrible.”
“It’s just that I’m normally a pony. We don’t even need to wear clothes if we don’t want to. All these human taboos are messing with me!” Oh, why did she have to replace a proud exhibitionist in this loop?
Thinking about her pony days reminded her that she did in fact have a triune of daisies tattooed somewhere on her body this loop…
She wasn’t going to stop blushing for a while.
“You’re kidding me, a horse?” Ryuko boggled.
“Pony.” Cheerilee corrected.
After a moment, the girl shrugged. “Alright, I’ve heard weirder. Let’s get you started on your subspace pocket.”
Over the several weeks she’d been a teacher at Hannouji Academy, Cheerilee had managed to create and access her subspace pocket, and was currently training herself to expand it by seeing how many coins she could fit in it before removing them and trying again, and making excellent progress considering she still had her job to worry about. She’d learned a lot about the loop and how it was different from others. Her in-loop memories of having studied Life Fibers under Ryuko’s father helped significantly.
Ryuko had also introduced her to another looper, Mako. The girl was frightfully reminiscent of Pinkie Pie without the obsession for partying.
Oddly, according to them the first people to start looping after that were rivals and antagonists. The girl running the school, Satsuki Kiryuin was currently Awake, but tended to seclude herself. She and Ryuko shared a truce against a greater enemy, and the years of looping conflict – along with other factors – had boiled their relationship down to friendly if violent rivalry rather than true antagonism. Tsumugu, whom she otherwise referred to in derogatory nicknames like ‘Needles McShooty’ was not awake this loop, but had been described as warmer towards Ryuko and Mako than Kiryuin was. Cheerilee was taking the place of the last known looper, the perverted teacher Mikisugi.
Today was supposed to be some sort of tournament, and she’d been advised to stay out of it while Ryuko and Satsuki teamed up against someone they mutually hated.
Teamed up and using all of the strongest fighters in the school, they were guaranteed to win, but…
“My name is Ryuko Matoi. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” The Anchor said, half-jokingly as she pointed one of the pair of scissor blades she wielded from the stock she collected through the loops at the girl.
“Tehehee, you actually seem to think you can beat me.” Harame Nui, the girl in the Lolita dress with a parasol and a kanji eyepatch, tittered. “It’s going to take more than just you and your friends to do that. If you’re not careful, they’ll all die like your father did!”
Maybe it was how maniacally cheery the girl was when she said that, her smile never wavering, but it set Cheerilee’s blood boiling. How dare this girl threaten the students? The children? She barely heard anything else that was said as she marched right up behind Satsuki’s lieutenants and grabbed the scruff of the girl, Nonon’s, uniform.
With a deft flick of her wrist, she was now holding said uniform, while the girl was trying to cover her underwear indignantly.
She spared an idle thought that this loop must be affecting her more than she expected it to, as she held the uniform forward in her balled fist. “You will not hurt my students! I don’t care if they can fight for themselves, or if you have some reason or excuse to not like them for using these uniforms for their power, but they are my students, children under my care, and you will have to go through me first!”
Ryuko wondered if she should’ve mentioned that people died in this loop all the time and it wasn’t that big an issue, but hey, if she wanted to call out the bad guy she was welcome to do so.
Nui just tilted her head and giggled.
A second later and the schoolteacher had donned the uniform despite its snug fit. Her knowledge of the life fibres, earth pony magic, her sheer boiling blood and will to hurt something combined to shift the garment into its secondary stage. She stood there in a yellow and red skintight battlesuit, the triple-star pattern replaced by her own three daisies.
And then she charged.
Cheerilee looked up at the sky through the crater she’d been deposited into. She lay naked, battered and bruised in the dust and debris of the final moments of her fight when Nui had finally managed to destroy her uniform. She’d be surprised if the fight even lasted half a minute.
The sounds of combat from outside her hole in the ground had ceased, and a shadow walked into view on its rim. Ryuko stood grinning down at her for a moment before hopping in to help her up.
“You did good.” She said to the teacher, lifting her up so she could lean on the girl’s shoulder. “You got your ass kicked, but you did good. Way better than you should’ve all things considered. Let’s get you home and cleaned up.”
The both of them smiled.
(Several weeks later)
“Well, loop’s ending.” Ryuko said. She, Mako and Cheerilee were in the teacher’s apartment for a small celebration. “It was nice meeting you, and… here.” She handed the teacher a small red and black band.
“A bracelet?” She asked.
The Anchor nodded. “I managed to convince miss high-and-mighty to have this made for you. Made with Life Fibres. Hopefully it’ll help keep you safe out there, and now you’ve got something to stick in that new pocket of yours.” She said with a grin.
Cheerilee nodded, her eyes tearing up a little. The red lines dancing across the surface of the thin fabric were rather pretty… It was a very kind gesture. “Thank you.”
They shared a few last stories and tea while they waited the last hour for the loop to reset.
Some students, you never forget.