//------------------------------// // Establishing the setting- Prologue. // Story: The League of Humanity. // by Ssendam the Masked //------------------------------// 3000 years ago, the first humans appeared in Equestria. Then, about 1,500 years ago, the Era of Mankind first started in Equestria. At least, that was what Invention called it. 3000 years ago, two human women appeared in Equestria, and caused much destruction before being imprisoned by the Elements of Harmony. Then, 1,500 years ago, Invention and the creature known as Dullahan appeared in Equestria, as a result of the tampering of Faust, the mother of Celestia and Luna. She felt that they needed a way to test their abilities. So, she threw artefacts through the multiverse. Most were destroyed. Several landed on Earth, influencing those who had the qualities that these artefacts desired. Often, they thought that they were choosing the artefact, but in actuality, it was the artefact that had chosen them. Ambition was a major one, but sometimes, the artefacts chose complete curveballs. Invention was one of those. Toby and Josh, who arrived later, were another example of such curveballs. When Invention arrived and wreaked havoc, Celestia and Luna were not prepared, not aggressive. But they froze him in stone, never to return to the world of ponies. Or so they hoped, for a mere 302 years later, the human known as Corvo Attano appeared. While their interactions with him are a mystery at this present time, but he was sealed in stone as well. For a time, there was peace. Then, 248 years later, the ones known as Tobi and Yoshimitsu flashed into existence. They caused chaos, and freed the mad god Discord on accident. In the end, both of them were petrified. The Princesses were not surprised when, 26 years later, the knight of the sun, Solaire of Astoria appeared. Five years later, he was captured, and a further twenty years after him, the human called Jack of Blades wreaked havoc for the Princesses. Each and every human who appeared had, eventually, descended to villainous impulses, both unintentionally and on purpose. Princess Celestia, after banishing her sister, enjoyed 998 years of peace. Then, the human known as the Fat Friar appeared. One year later, and the Everfree Merry Ponies were formed, a group who stole and gave to the poor. While Celestia couldn't attack him directly, she did worry about it, and sought to gather the Elements of Harmony, choosing her student to be their leader. One year later, and the Fat Friar withdrew to the Everfree, where none could find him or his band. Shortly after the Elements were found, the human known as The Choten appeared, disappearing after aggravating the Princess, and the barrier between Equestria and another world grew closer and closer. When Discord was freed, he caused much chaos. One of those bits of chaos shall be seen here... The Day of Discord, morning. Within his stone prison, Solaire of Astora sighed. A thousand and twenty years of being imprisoned by Celestia, even if you had cellmates, was boring as fuck. Stuck in the pose of praise, all he could do was wait. Hey, Yoshi, he projected at the statue across from him. It had two figures- a flat faced being air-humping while flipping the bird, and a more demonic looking creature, posing with a katana in the right hand and an outstretched left hand. What? I'm bored as all hell, Yoshimitsu. So am I. Hey, Yoshimitsu-sempai! I'm up! Hey, Tobi. How's the sun? Still grossly incandescent, Solaire-kohai. I'm not your damn kohai. Would you two idiots shut up? I'm trying to plot my revenge. Solaire frowned; well, had he not been frozen in stone he would have frowned. A mental frown is not the same thing as a real frown. You need to lighten up, Corvo. You've been all, 'oh, revenge, revenge, revenge.' It' is not in the spirit of jolly co-operation. Screw you. Hey, keep it down! Some of us are bursting with ideas here. I'm just as bored as you guys are. Tobi waved a hand mentally. Keep up the good work, Invention-sempai! After a bit of mental grumbling from the oldest of us, it subsided. Solaire sighed; that guy was a freakin' weirdo. Still, at least Jack of Blades wasn't talking; guy was even worse with the whole 'revenge' thing than Corvo was. And there was a statue of two women who hadn't talked much at all, even before Invention was there. Solaire feared the worst for those poor women, trapped long before any of them. "Alright class, now can any pony tell me what's unusual about this statue?" Another tour group (like they hadn't seen a lot of those over the past thousand years or so) appeared. It seemed to be a school outing. Tobi perked up. Solaire-sempai, let's play the insult game. I'm up for it. Same here. Why are you doing this. Why. Just be quiet. With that, we focused on the tour group. Solaire led off first. Hey, fatty! You need to work out more! Your mother was a hamster and your father stank of elderberries! Your dad's so stupid, he thinks that going on a train is exercise! All petty insults, but they were pretty good ones. "Chaos!" "Evil!" "How's it chaos you dodo?" "Don't call me things that I don't know the meaning of!" With that, the three fillies without butt tattoos started fighting. ... where the fuck is all the dust coming from? Eventually, it subsided, and the teacher, obviously wanting to avoid any more conflict, decided to talk to distract them. "Technically, you're all right!" Hey, don't encourage them! Kids are evil little bastards. "This statue represents Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony. He's a draconeques..." We weren't listening, as the bastards prison was cracking, just slightly. Sempai, he's getting free. I know, Tobi. Solaire smiled. Praise the sun for that shit. Solaire-kohai, keep your creepy horse-fuckery out of this debate. OH YOU LITTLE SHIT! The group left, and after a couple of minutes, Discord was free. We barely noticed, as we were still arguing with each other. He snapped his fingers at us, and we subsided. "Now now boys, you need to calm down." Don't take that tone with us, Discord, now let us out please! Discord paused, considering it. "...Alright, but this is only because you'll annoy the hell out of Celestia." He clicked his eagle claw, and we all winced as our prisons crumbled around us. "You'll be able to get out in a bit. Until then, chow chow." With that, he teleported away, leaving the humans with a slowly opening prison. OH, YOU FUCKMUPPET! Day of Discord's return, evening. Corvo shuddered as he felt the stone prison surrounding him go away. Finally, he was free from the idiots that he'd listened to for over a thousand years. He collapsed on the ground, inhaling sweet, sweet air. He'd not breathed in over a thousand years, after all. Thus recovered, he stood up,ready to get his righteous revenge. "BANZAI! BANZAI!" He rolled his eyes. "Shut the hell up, Tobi-" The fucker was right in front of him, and touched him. He shied away instinctively, hand already on the gun before dropping. If what Tobi said was true, then it would be pointless to attack him. "What the fuck?!" Tobi somehow blushed through the mask. "This feeling of touch... it's like I'm reaching second base with the world, Corvo-sempai!" Corvo swatted his hand away with a grunt. "Get your damn hands off me you orange fuck." Tobi slumped down to the ground dramatically. "Why do you have to be so mean, Corvo-sempai? Tobi's a good boy!" Behind him, Yoshimitsu just face palmed. "Yes, Tobi, you're a good boy. Now, come help me out with this." Tobi perked up at this. "Got it, Yoshimitsu-sempai!" Invention looked at them. "Sorry, but I have things to do guys. Fuck with the Princesses all you want, I'll wave them goodbye, then go to my own house. Meet me there if you want." The necklace glowed orange, and he waved a hand irritably. "Yes, yes, alright Boris, I'm onto it." With that, he walked off. Corvo stalked off, muttering about revenge. That left Tobi, Yoshimitsu and Solaire in the courtyard. Solaire idly brushed some stone dust off his shoulder and faced the sun. Ah, the sun... like a magnificent father... His thoughts were interrupted by Yoshimitsu. "Alright, now what?" "We could go on a road trip, Solaire-kohai." Solaire just shook his helmeted head. "Sounds stupid." "It is kind of stupid, Tobi." Tobi slumped to the ground again. "Muuuh."' Canterlot Castle. Celestia smiled warmly as the Elements of Harmony gathered within the castle. Since their defeat of Discord, it was only acceptable that they get an incredible fanfare from the whole of Canterlot society. After the ceremony, happened, she was about to get some cake when she spied a guard making his way over to her with an urgent look in his eye. What could be the matter? Nevertheless, she went over to the guard. "What is the matter, my little pony?" The guard panted for breath. "It seems as if the Garden of Statues has lost four statues." What? "Which statues have gone missing?" "Invention, Madness and Deliruim, Cunning and Veangeance." Celestia blinked. Then, she froze in place. "All of them? Mother of me..." She quickly galloped over to the Elements. "Twilight, Elements, now." Twilight looked surprised. "Princess, what's the matter?" She looked afraid. Celestia looked at her. "It seems as if Discord has been bus-" Before she could continue, the wall was smashed down. Luna flew through, pursued by flaming skulls. She frowned, blasting them with her thaumic lances. Each skull exploded spectacularly. Every pony present ran around screaming as a figure in a skull mask came through. He levelled a weapon at Celestia, which she recognised as a gun, a weapon not seen for over a thousand years. "CELESTIA, YOU BITCH! STABBING ME IN THE BACK LIKE THAT! FACE MY WRATH!" Celestia ducked the shot, and the bullet whizzed into the opposite wall. She sighed. There was no way that this could go any worse. "DO YOU FAGGOTS EVEN PRAISE THE SUN?!" Apparently, it could. A figure in imposing armour slammed the doors open, the light of the sun streaming behind him, staff and shield in hand. Behind him, a figure in a long black coat and an orange mask, with a green, demonic looking figure, leapt out, weapons in hand. "BRAIZE THE SUN!" They screamed, arms thrown up in the air in supplication. The knight turned to them. "How can you faggots even mess that one up?" The screaming seemed to irritate him. Waving his staff, barriers of arcane energy formed around the screaming nobles, deadening the sound. "There, much better." He then turned to his companions. "Now, it's 'praise the sun.' Got that, you idiots?" They nodded hastily. "You got it, Solaire-kohai" "I'm not your kohai, Tobi." "But you're Yoshimitsu-sempai's kohai, right? We ARE older than you..." "Only by twenty six years! I ought to-" "Quiet, you idiots." A human wearing a brown top hat, tan shirt with leather jacket and thick boots said from his position on top of a ledge. "Goodbye for now, Celestia. I have better things to do than mess with you, so this'll be our last meeting for a while." He then disappeared into the shadows, presumably running for his bolt-hole. Corvo just shook his head. "Trying to get them to shut up is practically impossible. You know that they're morons, Invention." Tobi turned to him, brimming with indignation. "HEY! I resemble that remark!" Corvo pointed to him. "See, that's my point." He just sighed, already feeling his wrath draining away. "Some Age of Mankind THIS is turning out to be." Luna glared at him. "Where dost thou stand, Invention? Thine age has been thwarted before, and it shall be again." Corvo winced at the volume. "Good god, you're still as loud as I remember you. Maybe you should be quieter like your sister." Luna simmered while Celestia gored daggers at Corvo. "My sister was sent to the moon for a thousand years by the Elements; a far harsher fate than your own." Tobi and Yoshimitsu looked at her. "How? I mean, the only one who could would be... oh. OH!" Solaire giggled with his hangers-on. "Oh my god, you sent your sister to the moon for a thousand years? DAMN, girl, you harsh." "It wasn't something I wanted to do!" Celestia flared, magic swirling around her. They looked at her. "That's cute." Twilight and friends had remained frozen during this whole exchange, but now they came to action. Well, five of them did- Fluttershy was in Fainting Goat mode from the terror of these strange creatures appearing out of nowhere. "Now hang on a darn tootin' minute!" They looked at Applejack. "Oh my god, you have rednecks now." "Where do YOU get off making fun of the Princesses?" Rainbow Dash got in front of Solaire. He seemed to smile. "LEARN TO DARK SOULS, N00B!" With that, he flashed away, behind Celestia. She seemed to blush heavily. "Nope, I just praise the sun." After that statement, he slapped Celestia in the flank. "Get you vulgar appendages off the Princess!" Rarity tried to cast a spell, but was stopped by Tobi touching her face. "Ah, it's been a while since I've touched some pony." "G-get your hand off my face!" She slapped it away. "Ah, you wound me so." Laughing like a maniac, he just phased through her kick like he was a ghost, watching her flip through him. "Wow, that's pretty cool." Rarity gawked at him. "How... what?" Tobi waggled a finger at her. "I'm Batman. No wait, I'm Tobi. Yes, I'd forget my head if it weren't attached to my neck, you know." Rarity stared at him. "...You sound a bit like Pinkie." She looked around her. Applejack broke the silence first. "Okay, where's Pinkie?" Corvo just focused on the Princess of the Night. She was his main target- "HEY THERE!" He leapt back from the pink mare as she appeared in front of him. "GAAH! THE FUCK?!" She seemed interested in him. "What's your name? Do you like parties? What's that on your belt? Why are you all covered in black? Is that a mask or your face? That's a pretty big knife you have there! You should remember, don't run with scissors, or you'll cut yourself! I remember my sister, Inky, she was all, 'I'll run with scissors,' and my dad was all, 'no, Inky, don't run with scissors,' but she did and slipped, and she cut her forelock, and now she's got a bit of a scar, and this party is pretty good, isn't it?" All of that was said at what felt like a million miles a second. "...What?" She zoomed around him, examining him from all angles. "Stop that." She ignored him. "I SAID STOP!" He tried to shoot her, but she zoomed away. He growled. Just like Tobi- annoying and cheerful, and also apparently harder to kill than they first appeared. He could wait for his revenge. Meanwhile, Invention used the general chaos to slip away. He paused at one statue that was still there- a human wearing a mask. "Why weren't you freed, Jack?" He received no answer. The necklace around his neck pulsed red and yellow, and he nodded. "It's probably not too important then. For now, let's go to our old home; I get the feeling that it's in need of some serious maintenance." With that, he stalked off stealthily, watching the skies for a pegasus patrol. Meanwhile, Celestia felt that enough was enough. She focused on her vocal cords, strengthening them with earth pony magic for the Royal Canterlot Voice, a skill she hadn't used in centuries. Arcane power flowed through her body, and her eyes seemed to glow. "ENOUGH!" She boomed, loud enough to rattle every human there. With that one word, every pony instinctually bowed, the ancient power of the Voice resonating with something in their bones, that said: "those who are loudest are the leaders." "You've still got it, Celestia. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to escape now." Solaire waved his staff, and yellow runes circled Tobi and Yoshimitsu. Corvo was about to be encircled, but he leapt out to follow Luna, who had flown outside. Before they left, Celestia looked at him. "I swear, for my little ponies, I will stop you." Solaire locked eyes with her. "You're welcome to try." With those parting words, they teleported away to parts unknown. Within the depths of Canterlot, a suit of armour stirred from his slumber. "Hmmm?" He turned to his visitors- two women, staring at him. "What are you?" The suit gave the impression of smiling. "Call me Dullahan, my dears. Now, would you mind awfully letting me out? I need to get my sword back as well." The two pointed to the sword leaning against the wall. "You mean that one, right?" Dullahan focused on them. Well, as much as he could with no head. "Did you bring it in here with you?" They nodded, green eyes shining through the eyeholes of their masks. "Yes..." "Thank you. Now, put it in my hand and I'll break free."