//------------------------------//
// Simple Ways 
// Story: A Dream 
// by totallynotabrony 
//------------------------------//

	The trendy restaurant in Canterlot was far from my usual digs.  I ignored the maître d’ and went to a table in the back.  A yellow earth pony mare with a red mane sat there.  Her cutie mark was a wheel of gouda.
“Hello Cheese,” I said, sitting down.  This was Princess Luna’s discreet public alter ego.
She looked at me.  Despite her disguise, it was pretty apparent that she was displeased.  “You’re late.”
“I have a good excuse.”
She paused as if considering if she wanted to know why, then shook her head.  “Nevermind.  Here, take this.”
I picked up the envelope she slid across the table to me.
“It’s for the upcoming event,” she said.  “I believe you’re familiar with Moment?”
“We’ve met,” I said.  “Kicked some ass together, too.”
“Very well.”  Luna nodded and changed the subject.  “Is there anything new?”
“Recent news, hmm.  Well, in Ponyville we killed a guy who called himself Cheese Sandwich but whom I rechristened Sandwich au Fromage.”
“Interesting name,” Luna observed.
“Now that he’s dead, I was thinking maybe you could use his name when you were feeling French.”  I shrugged.
“Ms. Fromage.  Perhaps it could come in handy.” She pondered for a moment and then got up.  “Well, it’s been a relatively productive meeting.  I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, aren’t you going to buy me lunch?” I asked.
“I’ve already eaten,” she said.  “Half an hour ago.”  She gave me a look and walked out.
I grumbled, but was too hungry to leave.  A waiter came over and I ordered.  To pass the time while I waited on my food, I thought a little about the package Luna had given me.  I’d explained that there was going to be an event that needed my special attention.  It was kind of serious and I needed another of Luna’s agents, codename Moment, to help.  After explaining my point, she’d passed me the file on Moment so I could better make plans.  Of course, this event wouldn’t be happening for a little while.  I had some time to prepare.  
My thoughts turned to the reason I had been late to the meeting.  Since I’d come to Canterlot to meet with Luna, I’d also taken the opportunity to visit the national public data archive.  I hadn’t forgotten Trixie’s request to know more about her biological family.
There hadn’t been a whole lot to find.  Traveling showponies don’t leave many records, although if I could locate their hometown there might be more in the local courthouse.  Maybe Guinness could tell me something.  He’d mentioned that he had once met Trixie’s grandmother.
The food came and I ate quickly, probably because there wasn’t much of it.  Why is it that the expensive restaurants always serve less?
After lunch I went to see Twilight.  She probably wanted to know about the little shindig we’d had in Ponyville recently.
After I met her in the library and explained about summoning Weird Al, she gave me a flat look.  “You spent all that time practicing guitar for one moment?  Valiant, not only is that a waste of talent, but…how in the wide world of Equestria did you know a musical showdown like that was coming?”
I’d grown pretty fond of comparing Equestria to a computer program.  “Think of it this way.  There’s a kind of code or program that runs things around here.  By looking at where it goes, you can see what the end result is when it runs its course.  I’m trying my best to get rid of the errors and bugs along the way, but sometimes the efforts to do that require a lot of preplanning and drastic measures.  Now that it’s all done, I don’t need to play guitar anymore.  I certainly don’t have time.  There’s so much to do to keep this program from coming apart.”
“And how can you see this program?” Twilight asked, looking highly skeptical.
“What if I told you I was God?”
She frowned.  “If you were a god?”
“The God.”
“I wouldn’t believe you.  Gods don’t exist anyway.”
“Heathen.”  I shrugged.  “But anyway, it’s a metaphor, like the computer program analogy I made.  I’m basically the metaphysical hacker that monkeys with your existencial code.”
“I refuse to believe that you are in charge of the universe,” Twilight said.  “Especially that part about being a monkey.”
“Want me to prove it?”  I paused.  “The code part, I mean?”
Twilight hesitated at my challenge.  “No.”
“Fine.”  I turned to go.  “I’ll let you know when another big hurdle is cleared on the track to getting this universe back together again.”
“Hang on a second,” said Twilight.  “It sounds like you really need a hobby, Valiant.”
“No time.  Got to save the universe.”
She looked at me.  “I’ve told you before that you’re different since coming back from space.  I think you need something to keep you entertained.  Try this thing I found.”  
She rummaged around behind a stack of books and came out with an unusual instrument.  She blew away the surface dust to reveal a chrome plated keytar.  It had a full set of ivories and twelve strings.  It was so metal.
Twilight turned and saw me salivating.  I quickly recovered and shook my head.  “Nah, I don’t need it.  If I don’t need to play guitar anymore, I certainly don’t need to play that thing.”
“Just take it.  We don’t need it around the libarary.”  She shoved it at me.  A piece of paper slipped out from the keys and fell to the floor.  I picked it up.
“What’s that?” Twilight asked.  “Does it say where this came from?”
I opened the folded paper.  “Uh…Tiny Vamp Atoll,” I said.
“Atoll, like a small island?” Twilight said.  “I wonder where that might be.”  She frowned.  “I’m a little worried about the Vamp part.”
“Tiny Vamp,” I corrected.
“Since when has size mattered?”
I shrugged and tried to hand the keytar back to her.  “Anyway, you should probably investigate this.”
“No, you take it.  I’m much more interested in doing research.”  Twilight was already picking up books and trying to find reference to the mysterious island.
I stood there with the keytar for a moment.  I did kind of want it, because it was awesome, but I didn’t think I would ever play it, particularly with all the stuff I had to do.
Still, I wasn’t going to just stand there waiting for Twilight to notice me.  I slung the keytar on my back and headed out of the library.
Since I was in Canterlot, I went to the hospital to visit Fluttershy.  Outside her room, I saw a pink pegasus with a yellow mane looking impatient.  I had seen her before.  This was Shovelshy, Fluttershy’s B-team counterpart.  Her special talent was shoveling coal, which was Fluttershy’s hidden secondary talent.
I stopped and looked at her.  “What are you doing here?”
She seemed to know who I was.  “Fluttershy’s just about to get out of the hospital, so the duties I’ve been taking care of in her absence can be transferred back.”  She didn’t comment on the keytar.
I stared at her for a moment and then pushed open the door.  Fluttershy’s feathers and fur were still regrowing, but her burns had healed to the point that she could leave the hospital.  She saw me come in and smiled.  “Hello Valiant.”
“How are you?”
“The doctors say I should take it easy for a while but that I’ll make a full recovery.”
“Good to hear.”
Pinkie fidgeted in the corner, waiting for the doctors and nurses to pronounce Fluttershy fit to leave the hospital.  I suppose it had been a rather long time by Pinkie standards since she and Fluttershy had spent quality time together.
Their marriage had failed.  Well, not failed, more like failed to start.  After so many reschedulings and disasters that forced cancelations, Pinkie had eventually decided that they didn’t need a formal marriage to be happy.  She was content to just be unwed bed buddies.
As usual, nobody asked Fluttershy her opinion.
After a little while longer, the medical ponies decided that it was okay to release Fluttershy from the hospital.  Leaving the room, I noticed her counterpart was no longer in the hallway.
Fluttershy, Pinkie, and I went to the train station and got tickets for Ponyville.  The locomotive was one of the new streamliner units coming out of the Crystal Empire Machinery Works.  They were not bad trains by Equestria standards, although being manufactured of crystal, I suspected that their psychostimulant content might be a little high.
The passing joke about the Crystal Meth Empire made by my exes and their development team had very unfortunate consequences.  Fortunately, most ponies don't know anything about drugs.  Most ponies.  Since we’d killed the Black Twins and Post Haste, nobody had been going out of their way to get high.  As long as the secret was kept, nobody would try to monetize that big ol’ city ‘o drugs.
While we waited to board the train, I noticed two stallions loudly hawking some product.  Was it the Flim Flam Brothers?  Yeah, it looked like them.  I rolled my eyes and headed for the train.  I barely heard what they were selling.  Something about Powerthirst.
Back in Ponyville, plans were underway for the Ponyville Days Festival.  Rarity was still in Manehattan working on stage productions, so planning the event in Ponyville had gone to Morning Matte, the B-Twilight.
Morning did not actually know much about festivals, she just knew about making lists.  Celebrity, the B-Rarity, didn’t know about decorations, she just handled all the freaking out and drama.
The real Applejack had never left town, and now the real Pinkie and Fluttershy were back.  Between the three, they at least had the cider, sweets, and animals corralled.
Since there was going to be a dance or something I figured I should dress up.  I still had a tuxedo around and went to the library to get it.  Not that I was planning on dancing, but it would help me blend into the crowd of festival-goers.
After rummaging around in the library for a while, I found it.  I put the jacket on and knotted the tie.  Sunset came into the room while I was looking in the mirror.  She seemed a little surprised.  I can’t blame her; she’d never really seen me equipped with my tux swag before.
I left the library and headed towards the town square.  I saw Trixie and Daring, both of them wearing fancy things and appearing to have a good time just by being together.  Turning my head, I had a look around at the rest of the festival.
There was a rag-tag band setting up in the town square.  They looked like they had been called in at short notice and not paid very much.  To be honest, the whole festival wasn’t organized very well.  There weren’t any decorations or stuff that festivals usually had.
As the band started a slow, barely-in-key song, Trixie came up beside me.  “You know, we could liven this place up quite a bit with some better music.  What do you say?”
I shrugged.  “Meh.  I don’t have any need to play anymore since we vanquished the fake Cheese Sandwich.”
Trixie shrugged and walked away.  Daring stood there for a moment, having a look at the decidedly not-hopping event.  I asked, “So how are you and Trixie getting along?”
She seemed slightly surprised that I would ask, but answered, “We’re great.  We’ve got another trip planned pretty soon.”
“Hmm, I hope you have fun.”
She grinned.  “Yeah, and we’ll have adventures, too.”
I stared at her.  “Are you insinuating what I think you are?”
“If you mean hot les-”
I cut her off, stepping closer.  “Daring, what do you like about Trixie?”
She paused.  “Well, the hot-”
I cut her off again.  “I really hope there’s something besides that that connects you two.  Because if that’s all Trixie is to you, you’re a terrible pony and should be painfully dismembered.”
Daring backed off.  “Uh…”
“If you break my daughter's heart, they will never find all of the chunks of you.  Tell me that you understand what I’m saying.”
She nodded quickly.
“Good.”  I smiled.  “Enjoy the festival.”
Daring left in a hurry.  After she was gone, I stood around for a few minutes.  Not much was happening.  I thought about finding a quiet corner to go over the Moment file again, but I’d already skimmed enough of it.  It was super secret - something I couldn’t just leave lying around, so I carried it with me.
“Hello Valiant.”
I turned my head.  It was Sunset.  She’d styled her mane and put on a little black dress with a silver necklace.  She was wearing a touch of eye shadow and a smile.


 
Source


“What the hell are you wearing?” I asked.
Her eyes dropped to the ground.  “I just wanted to get dressed up.  Sometimes it’s nice.”
I nodded.  “I guess I can relate.  I don’t get a chance to look good often enough.”  I slipped on my sunglasses, an involuntary smile creeping onto my face.
Sunset smiled too and tossed her head a little.  Her coifed mane bobbed.  “What do you like to do when you’re dressed up?”
“Kick ass, usually.  I mean, I can and do kick plenty of ass when completely naked, but sometimes I just feel like doing it with some class.”
She considered that.  “Would you like to...kick ass, um, on the dance floor?”
Her face flushed after she said it, but she pointed to the ponies dancing together in the town square.
I opened my mouth to reply. However, while I was standing there minding my own business and totally not mucking about with spacetime, there was a funny noise and a blue rectangular box popped into existence not far away.
The door opened and a brown stallion came out.  He spotted me and came over.  “Hello Valiant.”
“Doc, what’s up?”  I bumped hooves with him.  “You’re right on time.”
He took a bow.  “Agent Moment at your service.”
“What have you been up to?” I asked.  “Since you left, everyone’s been getting some guy named Time Turner confused with you.”
Doctor Whooves nodded.  “It happens.  Anyway, myself and a few companions have been keeping busy.”  He gestured to someone inside his box.
“Cool.  Well, now that you’re here I can ditch this party and we can get down to business.”  
With Doc, I turned away from Sunset and strolled away.