//------------------------------//
// Big Brother Best Friends Forever 
// Story: Brother Knows Best 
// by Stratocaster 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 5: Big Brother Best Friends Forever


Down in the cellar of the Golden Oak Library, Shining Armor and Big Macintosh were locked in a heated battle to pit their strengths against each other. For hours, the two stallions exchanged swift moves and brutal strategies, but neither would back down. They were two clashing titans, evenly matched in the longest game of ping pong ever. After Big Mac took another swing, Shining Armor tried to counter but missed by a hair.

"Out! It was over the line!" he stated.

"My red flank that was over the line!" retorted Big Mac. "It was on the line! You just swung like a filly!"

"There was no way that on the line! You calling me a liar?!" glared Armor.

"I ain't callin' for directions!"

The two then engaged in a hoof wrestle to settle the debate. But their quarrel was immediately cut short. "Shining Armor!" came a shrill female voice from upstairs.

Shining Armor gulped and looked up to see Cadence staring daggers at him. "Uh, Cadence dear," he tried to play innocent. "What ever could be the matter?"

"I think you have some apologizing to do for your sister." She said.

It seemed that the jig was up. Shining Armor began to panic. Twilight must have found out what he did to Time Turner. Summoning whatever courage he could, he braced himself for a hard explanation.

"I mean what were you thinking, setting Twily up with a pony like Fancy Pants?" scolded Cadence.

Shining Armor paused a bit. "Wait...what?"

"Didn't you hear what happened last night?" she resumed. "They were on their date at the restaurant when Fancy Pants found out that Fleur de Lis wanted him back. So he just up and left her in the middle of dinner! Shining, you should've known that man would do something like this. He's not the most trusting at all."

"...Oh...Oh jeez. I had no idea." Shining Armor's fear then turned to concern as he headed up the stairs to the main room of the library. Sure enough, Twilight was sitting in a ball on the couch, disgruntled by her de-ja-vu with a bad date. "Ah Twily, I'm so sorry." Armor tried to comfort her. "I didn't mean for this to happen again."

Twilight sighed. "You don't have to blame yourself, Big Brother. I know you were just trying to make me feel better. I guess I'm just officially done with men altogether."

"Hey, cheer up, Twi." Big Mac approached her. "Ya still got yer big brothers here. And who knows? Maybe your stallion caller is still out there." He then received a nudge from Shining Armor telling him not to push it.

Twilight smiled at the humble farm pony. "Thanks, Big Mac, I forgot you're kind of my big brother too."

"Eeyup!"

"Hey Big Mac!" came a new voice from the front door. In stepped Applejack with a strange little calm smile on her face.

"AJ? What're ya doin' here?" asked Big Mac.

She approached him rather quizzically. "I was just wonderin' if ya seen El Caballo Libre anywhere."

At first, he racked his brain having no idea what she was talking about. But then the events of last night finally came back to him. "Oh! Uh, yeah, um, I haven't really seen him. But, uh, I heard he was seen hoppin' a train to Dodge City. I bet he's on his way to...um...to uh..." That's when Big Mac paused at the skeptical look on his sister's face. "...You didn't buy it, did you?"

"You actually thought I believed that whole El Caballo Loco jargon?" glowered Applejack. "Please! Just how dumb do ya think I am, Big Brother?!"

"Uh, well, I thought you, um..."

"Save it, Big Mac," she interrogated. "I know ya had somethin' to do with Caramel goin' missin'! And I ain't leavin' till I find out! So spill it, ya big galoot!"

Big Mac began to sweat profusely. His mind was blocked with too much fear of his watchful sister to think clearly and get himself off the hook. He darted his eyes at Shining Armor for help, but even he had nothing to back him up with. After a few painful seconds, Big Mac opened his mouth to speak when suddenly, yet another visitor arrived out of the blue.

"Greetings, friends, I have returned." A familiar tan pony spoke from outside the doorway.

Applejack turned around. "Caramel?! Is that really you?!"

"Indeed it is, my good Applejack." Caramel spoke in an odd sagely manner.

"Oh mah gosh, Caramel!" Applejack quickly hugged him. "I'm so glad yer alright! Everypony was worried sick!...But tell me, why in Equestria are ya wearin' that doohickey on yer head?!" she pointed at a feathered headdress that sat atop Caramel's head, added with blue and red paint markings on his face.

"Allow me to explain, Applejack." Caramel said, unusually calm. "You see, it was your brother, Big Macintosh, was responsible for my disappearance."

"I knew it!" stomped Applejack.

"In truth, he hooked me to the back of a train and sent me off to the faraway town of Appleloosa. I managed to struggle free, but found myself lost in the unforgiving desert. I would've been doomed, if not for the noble buffalo tribe, who took me into their village and healed me. I told them about my situation and wanted furiously to get back at your brother. But it was then that Chief Thunderhooves taught me to find forgiveness, by introducing me to the spiritual ways of his ancestors. And so, through constant meditation and walkabouts, I am a better pony and have learned to forgive Big Macintosh for his misdeed, thanks to the spiritual teachings of the buffalo." Caramel crossed his hooves in praise.

"Spiritual teachings? Walkabouts?! You were only gone for three days!" Shining Armor raised his hooves in confusion.

"Alas, Applejack, I am sorry." Caramel continued. "I only wanted to earn your heart in the hopes of sharing my enterprise in onion farming with you. But I was misguided then. I only hope you will find forgiveness in me, and your brother as I have."

"YOU HAY-BRAINED SON OF A MULE!!!"

"Uh oh." Big Mac was done for.

"I cannot believe mah ears!" Applejack backed him into a wall after putting the pieces together. "You banished my coltfriend just cause he's an onion farmer?! You stupid lug! Caramel's yer friend! How could ya just haul him off like that?! He could've died out there! Just what in the name of Celestia were you thinkin', Mac?!"

Big Mac cowered under his sister's berating. But it was only then that he realized the true cause for this whole mess. In surrender, he pointed his hoof at his comrade. "It's all Shinin' Armor's fault!"

Everypony gasped as the blame was shifted to Shining Armor. "Me?! You traitor! What the hay is that supposed to mean?!"

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" asked Spike who slumped in.

"NOT NOW, SPIKE!" everypony shouted.

"Okay okay, jeez!" he walked back out.

"Shining, just what exactly do you have to do with this?" queried Cadence.

Big Mac glared at him as well. "He was the one who convinced me to hunt down Caramel! When I told him that Twilight and AJ were datin', he went n' gotten himself all up in a panic and got suspicious of Caramel and Time Turner. He told me that they might be out to cause harm to our sisters, and that we had to protect them. I would've just fine with Caramel hangin' around with AJ, if he hadn't put all that nonsense in mah head!"

"You can't put this whole rap on me, you hillbilly!" barked Shining Armor.

"You're the one who started it, metalhead!" Big Mac sneered as they bucked heads together.

"Both of you stop it!" Twilight shouted and parted the two with her magic. Then she scolded her brother. "Is this true, Shining Armor? Were you responsible for Time Turner going missing?  Is this the reason why I had to pay a fancy dinner bill by myself?! Twice?!" she grew agitated.

Shining Armor sighed, giving up the ship. "Okay, yes, I kidnapped Time Turner to find out who he really was. But it turned out he was a whackjob! I wasn't going to let a dangerous lunatic anywhere near my sister."

"That is ridiculous, Shining!" scorned Twilight. "You have no right to interfere with who I spend time with, even if you are family! Why would you do such a thing?"

"Because...because...because I don't recognize you anymore!"

"...What are you saying?"

He began to grow dour. "Look, Twily, I know it seems cliche for a brother to be overprotective about his little sister. But I can't help it. We bonded so much when you were a filly. And now with your coronation, and the Elements of Harmony, even ever since you moved to Ponyville, it struck me that the little filly I knew was gone. And I guess I just couldn't grasp that. Just the thought of you being romantically involved with a strange stallion must've pushed me over the edge and I ended up out of my head. I was...I was just scared."

Twilight stared at his brother, both in disbelief and pity. But she knew she had to lend a hoof to him. "Shining Armor, you know you shouldn't feel that way. It's perfectly natural for siblings to want to protect one another. But you have to face it, I'm already grown up. And that's nothing to panic about." She touched his shoulder. "Shining, I know you meant well, and I'm sure Big Mac did too. But I'm still your little sis, and I always will be. I can't say if I'll end up with a stallion, or just how much the rest of my life will change. But no matter what, you're still my BBBFF."

Shining Armor took his sister's words to heart. He had finally realized just how foolish he was. But one look in Twilight's forgiving smile assured him that he was not such a fool after all. Armor smiled back. "I guess that's all I needed to hear."

"Oh come here, big bro." Twilight offered him a hug.

"Thanks, Twily. I'm so sorry." He held her tight. "And Big Mac, I'm sorry I made you paranoid about your own sister."

"Nope, I have just as much blame, pardner." Big Mac turned to Applejack. "AJ, I don't blame Shinin' Armor for what happened. I was guess I was just scared too. I was a darn fool who let his heart get ahead of his head. How can ya ever forgive me?"

"Hey, don't beat yerself up, brother." Applejack replied. "We Apples gotta look out fer each other. Even if it means tyin' my coltfriend to a train outta town, I guess there's some way to justify that. But don't you ever go lyin' to me again. If ya got somethin' that's eatin' ya, just tell me like always. Can ya do that for me, big bro?"

Big Mac smiled, regaining his sanity as well. "Eeyup!"

"That's my big idiot!" the two siblings hugged warmly.

"Excellent." Caramel smiled. "Families are reunited by forgiveness. Come friends, let us join in a sacred chant." He then held a very low note. "OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH-"

"Get outta here ya freak!" snapped Applejack.

"Fine, I'll go!" Caramel threw his headdress on the floor as he turned away to leave in a huff. "See if I try to be spiritual and righteous. You guys are jerks!"

"Well I guess we won't be seeing much of him." Shining Armor said. "But what do we do about Time Turner?"

...

In a lonely cell at the hospital psych ward, Time Turner sat in the corner constrained by a straight jacket, and laughed wildly to himself. "I'm the Doctor! I'm the Doctor! Daleks! Companion! TARDIS! AH HA HA HEE HA HOO HOO HEE HA HOO!!!"

...

The next day, all seemed to be well as the brothers learned the error of their ways. Twilight, Applejack and Cadence strolled through town, free of dealing with the stupidity of men. After doing a bit of shopping in the marketplace, it was time for something a little more entertaining.

"Twilight, I'm really sorry that Shiny put you through all that." Cadence said. "I swear I had nothing to do with his behavior."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Cadence." Twilight replied. "My brother learned his lesson, and that's all there is to it. We shouldn't let this distract us from your visit."

"Besides," added Applejack. "I knew the perfect punishment for those two, once Apple Bloom realized the boys were spyin' on Twilight. Thank you, Foal Free Press!"

Over in town square, the three mares arrived at where a sizable crowd was gathering to watch. Everypony laughed, cheered, and took pictures, as Shining Armor and Big Mac were matched in a romantic dance to classical music, wearing their disguises from the restaurant. The brothers swallowed their pride, knowing that they had this humiliation coming to them, and waltzed gracefully around the square to the crowd's delight.

"Whoo hoo!" whinnied Applejack. "Cut a rug, you love birds!"

"Oh my goodness!" chuckled Cadence. "Shining's a better dancer with him than with me!"

"They do make a pretty cute couple, though!" giggled Twilight.

Shining Armor and Big Mac held their hooves as they waltzed. "Well, I can't say this hasn't been a bonding experience for us." Shining Armor said, begrudgingly.

"Don't get all soft on me," sulked Big Mac as he brushed his wig out of his face. "This is already weird enough."

"Ow! You stepped on my foot! I told you to let me lead!"

"Are you kiddin' me? You got two left hooves!"

"Don't start with me, you bumpkin!"

"I could take you on, city boy!"

Shining Armor tried to divert away from another quarrel. "...You know, that dress actually doesn't look bad on you."

"And that tux fits you pretty well." Big Mac replied.

They both stared at each other in an awkward silence. Then they shared a laugh at the random remarks. "Heh heh, I'm gonna kill you later for this, pardner." Big Mac chuckled.

"Sure you will, Big Mac, sure you will." Shining Armor then dipped Big Mac over in a big finish, as the rest of the ponies clapped and cheered.

THE END