//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3: revenge (or, watch where you sit) 
// Story: No glitter, just rarity the vampire! 
// by MidnightFMare 
//------------------------------//

	I hand AJ the manuscript and thank her for the hospitality; borrowing the blanket, I wrap rarity (hand and all) in a bundle which I put around my neck like a sling, her blue eyes peeking out of the fabric
As I turn to leave, AJ rears up on her hind legs and grabs my shoulders in a vise like grip (how she does this with hooves I haven’t the slightest) “Y’all can cure her right? You won’t let her stay that way will ya?” she asks, her deep emerald eyes brimming with tears
“The ceremony is very painful and there is no guarantee it will work, but I will try my best” I promise to her, running to the library

Approaching the library, I see valiant with the cutie mark crusaders working on a smaller walker.
As I go to say hello, my ditzy senses activate and looking up, the grey Pegasus is passing by; flagging her down from the right with a muffin, and as she gets closer, I slip to the left (the eye she has no control over) and place the muffin near Valliant’s rear and watch the CMC’s jump behind the tree house.
Valiant picks up the muffin “What th-“ then ditzy tackles him “MYYYYYYYYYYY MMMMUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!” she knocks his canister of hydrogen and miniature gas engine; the impact causes a huge fire ball, which, because of ditzy’s special talent, she is unharmed. Valliant however, is not so lucky, and is shot skywards by the updraft, and for some reason, lightning strikes him. Landing on a pile of dirt, he looks around “Is it over?” then, lightning strikes him again (apparently, in equestria, lightning does strike the same place twice)
Rarity pokes her head out to see the source of the noise and girly screaming, seeing valiant blowing himself up again (most times that has happened in a day: six, it was a Thursday, he doesn’t seem to get the hang of Thursdays)

He comes to in the library as I invite uptight snootle and spike to the movie
“THAT ONE IS GOING ON MY KILL LIST!!” Valiant yells
“Muffin?” a sweet voice asks
“Yes, thank you” he replies, then notices who gave it to him “WHAT IN HOLY HELL?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE (B)UCKING DEAD!!!!!” he screams, throwing the muffin at her, which she dodges and then pinkie jumps out of the book shelf, intercepts, and then disappears as she hits the ground
“Well… moving on… valiant, you are begrudgingly invited to my movie tonight” I turn around and hand ditzy 4 fliers “Ditzy, I want you to come and bring sparkler, and dinky, and the doctor, if he doesn’t I will dye him pink and sparkly” the mare salutes and flies off to her house
Turning back to valiant I start to berate him “Valiant, don’t use such foul language around small fillies and colts, especially when they have more raw magic in their nose than uptight snootle has with the element of magic” I jerk my thumb in twilight’s direction
“I am not uptight! Nor am I snooty! Why do you and that crazy doctor always call me that?!” she yells
“First off, it’s true, second off, you did not deny that dinky is far stronger than you are and she is a quarter your age” I then pull out a blow pop “You are so uptight and snooty that I bet you can’t even spell ‘fun’!”
“I can spell it! F-U-“ she starts
“WHOA WHOA WHOA! WOAH!... WHOA! …… WHOA! No need to use such foul language! Honestly! Do you kiss your teacher’s fat rear with those lips?!” I cry, summoning a bar of soap in twilight’s mouth (I don’t care what minuette says, soap is the best way to clean out a dirty mouth; but then again, she is the only dentist that carries relatively cheap flavorless toothpaste though)