After walking around in the sun for a few minutes, rarity’s resistance shot up!
“Where the buck did that voice come from?” I ask, looking around
“What voi-EEK!” rarity squeaks as a blur rams into her, breaking her focus
“AAAGGHH!! It burns! It burns! Make it stop!” she screams
Summoning a black umbrella, I place it over her as she starts to heal
“Whoa, that was not what I expected, what happened?” rainbow dash mutters, rubbing her head
“Oh, you know, nearly killing one of your friends with your reckless flying, the usual” I mutter as rarity takes the umbrella
“OH! Sorry rarity! I- why do you have an umbrella?”
“Pale skin, she might get burned and all of her hats are out of season” I say as-a-matter-of-factly “Actually, I was looking for you, could you pass out these fliers to my movie? If you do, I will give you nose-bleed seats to the next … whatchamacallit game… it has the golden parasprite in it?”
“You mean bit-scratch? Yeah its fun but… wait, did you say ‘nosebleed’? As in, over-looking the whole field? Those are worth several thousand bits! How did you get these?!” her jaw drops at the slips I held in my hoof
“I know a mare that is banging the lead offense player who got these through contract, and as a give-away thing, she didn’t want them because she just likes the guy, and she gave them to me because I helped clear her mother of breaking and entering charges, and I don’t want them because I don’t like sports” I explain, hoofing them to her
“BY CELESTIA’S BEARD! These are golden VIP passes! I… I can’t take these… really” she pushes them back
“I insist, otherwise they would go to waste”
“This is… so generous” she mutters, looking at them
“Well, rarity is rubbing off on me” I chuckle as the mare takes the fliers to the air
Approaching the pale mare I look down at her “Plan on sitting there all day rares?”
“No, just… waiting for you” she mutters, picking up the umbrella with her magic
“Well, ONWARDS to sweet apple acres!” I yell the unicorn keeping pace even though she has covered her whole face with the umbrella
I was walking up to the barn when rarity faints. As I pick her up, I think to try and formulate a new plan to cure her. Walking into the barn, I set the unconscious bundle of pony on a hay stack and look for apple jack. Spotting the young farmer hunched near a light crystal, I approach her and pull up my pants and do my best “foghorn leghorn” impression “Ah say apple jack, ah say, what in tarnation are y’all readin’ wit’ all o’ that focus?” she jumps up with an adorable “squeak” noise. “’The applewood vampire diaries’?” I turn to the audience and put my hand in front of my lips “Ironic, isn’t it?” turning back to apple jack “Ah say youngun’, ah say this is the kahnd of readin’ lit’ure that puts impure an’ lustful thoughts into yer’ head. Now wah in celestia’s name are y’all readin’ this kahnd o’ smut; an’ ah’m not talkin’ ‘bout corn smut!”
“Please! Don’ tell anypony ah lahk girly romance novels! Ah get rarity to get ‘em for me in exchange for… things… She’s the reason ah got into these things in the first place!” she yells, rousing the sleeping rarity’s blood lust. She stalks around to the side of the hay bail AJ is behind
“Hm, well then,” I say, breaking character “what if I was to say that I had the completed manuscript to the final book, you know, the one the author died writing?” I ask, rummaging through my pockets.
“Y-you have it?! H-how?! The rumors said that he left it to his closest friend; was that you?! Everypony has been trying to understand the author’s massages at the end of each book!” she hops up, nearly breaking the light crystal
“’My friend/ who should not be/ but is eternal/ searching for the end/ of warm body, but no heart/ eyes of all sights, yet blind/ impossible paradoxical/ older than time, yet never running out/ makes the impossible possible/ whimsical wish granter/ tester of hearts/ I am glad to call you/ my friend’” I say, never missing a beat
“Hungry…” rarity growls, pouncing at AJ
“What in tarnation?! Rarity! What’s wrong with you?!” apple jack gasps as I grab her mid-air
“Let me go! She is a delicious orange! She has plenty of blood to give me!” she hisses. I put my hand in her mouth, she goes limp, losing consciousness.
I explain the situation and ask if we can stay a while; she complies, bringing me a blanket, some iron pills, and a jug of water.