Entry #141
I’m still in awe that I married not just into the Royal Family but also into the holy family. My in-laws are the creators of this plane of existence. I’m just so concerned and curious about what exactly it did… if it did anything, heh. The more I think about it, the more I’ll worry, and I’ll stop sleeping. I sleep so little as it is… partially because I still am on human time. It’s like the worst case of jet-lag ever.
Entry #142
Normally two or three bodies occupy my bed when I wake up. Typically Luna and myself, occasionally Pip as well. There were four this morning. Wards prevent teleportation into Canterlot. Wards cannot, apparently, prevent Pinkie Pie. When I woke up, instead of rolling over and seeing my wife, I rolled over and got a face full of pink fluff. I jumped a mile, and the yelp I let out caused the Royal Guards on the morning watch to rush into the room. I was still scrambling to get upright by the time the guards had her pinned to the ground. Those guys are quick. To my surprise, though, Pinkie didn’t struggle at all, she just began to sing. Something about a “singing telegram” and her pet alligator’s birthday. It’s tomorrow. And, hell, it’s Pinkie Pie, so I figure I’ll go. After I told her I could, she slipped out from under the Royal Guards like a lubed piglet, and proceeded to walk out the window. I don’t know how the hell she does it and I’m not really sure I want to know. In any event, what do you buy the alligator that has everything except teeth?
Entry #143
Except teeth… heh, a big pair of gag dentures should brighten both Pinkie’s and Gummy’s day. Luna’s been feeling a little under the weather so she won’t be attending. Which is unfortunate, since Pinkie Pie’s parties are bound to be exciting in one way or another. The party is tomorrow, though, so there’s plenty of time for me to bring Pip to the races this afternoon.
Entry #144
The raceway is amazing. Canterlot is on a sort of cliff-mountain thing, so there’s a few places where there’s city, city, city, suddenly no city anymore. The raceway is built in one of these places. There’s a large set of stands, kind of like half a stadium, on one side of the track. The track is made of clouds, too, so I’m guessing it can be rearranged and reassembled in various configurations for different kinds of racing. Today, it’s just a simple oval, with four competitors. A blue Pegasus stallion named Soarin’, a yellow mare named Spitfire, a white mare with hair extremely similar to Pinkie’s, and another stallion. It seemed to be like a tournament of sorts, a few laps and the winner got a certain number of points, second got a few less, etc. The track was changed between each race, to give each racer a little advantage with what they excelled at. Soarin’ was mind-bogglingly fast in the straights, but the white mare had everypony in the turns. Pip was really into it the whole time, sitting on my head and cheering Spitfire in every race. Where we were sitting offered an interesting tradeoff of proximity to the track and racers for an outstanding view of the entire track at any time, and in any arrangement. Fancy Pants seemed quite proud of the seats he’d gotten, and he, Fleur, and, interestingly, Rarity, were all enjoying themselves as thoroughly as Pip and I were, which was nice. I’m glad that a good old fashioned race is still entertainment enough for the “high class” types. Though Rarity may just have been there to hang out with Fancy Pants. She seems attracted to him, but then again, she seems attracted to everypony, and I know that, however she tries to hide it, she does have a soft spot for Spike.
Entry #145
It occurred to me, on the way back from the races, that I haven’t gotten a haircut since the fluff incident. I wonder if anypony in Canterlot will do that for me…? At any rate, I can always go to Rarity’s. She’s obsessed with my body. In a totally non-sexual way. My proportions and structure are so different than that of a pony, so she’s really into trying to design clothes and hats and hairstyles. I need to go to Ponyville anyway, for that party of Pinkie’s. I’ll just get it cut then.
Entry #146
I should probably get my hair cut before I go to the party – I have a feeling that the party will go well into the night. To Carousel Boutique!
Entry #147
Well, that was interesting. For one, Rarity actually magically lengthened parts of my hair, and for two, my hair probably looks better than it ever has before. It may also have been the longest haircut I’ve ever gotten. That unicorn just couldn’t decide what she wanted to do with my hair, and basically ended up trying out everything she’d thought up before settling on a simple, but long, cut. I didn’t think it was possible, but my hair hurts. It looks very nice, though. If she doesn’t go crazy again, I’ll definitely come back when I need another haircut.
Entry #148
Oh man what a party. Apple bobbing, dancing, surprises all over the place. Gummy decided to occupy the apple bobbing bucket/barrel thing, and appeared, much to the shock of Twilight, latched to her face. She seemed really freaked out by it, and, frankly, I guess she had every right to be, even if the little gator is harmless. There was a spring-loaded apple, too, that was attached to the bottom of the tank. I felt bad for the first pony to find that – Fluttershy decided to be brave and try her hoof at apple bobbing, and ended up fully submerged in the tank. Pinkie is a little… forceful when she dances, too. She’s not afraid to knock somepony out of the way if she needs a larger space to “shake her hoove thang.” Rarity got planted in a wall and I got planted firmly on my ass when she rushed to the floor when what sounded like a parody of “California Girls” came on the phonograph. Given the interesting and varied levels of technology, I really shouldn't be surprised, but the thing is fascinating. I should probably ask Twi about AJ’s parents while I’m here…
Entry #149
After the party – or swarei… suaray… soiree? However it’s spelled. I hate French. That’s how Rarity put it, though, which doesn’t really surprise me. But… French? They have human spoken languages, but no human written languages. That’s… interesting. Anyway, I asked Twilight about AJ’s parents. The smile she had on her face disappeared instantly. She said they lived in Baltimare, and had kicked her out of their house as a sort of forced… well, abstinence. Like with Scootaloo, the truth about Applebloom’s parents was also kept from her. AJ is Applebloom’s mother. She was raised as a sister, and it’s been so long that even AJ sort of believes it now. The father is long out of the picture, and Twilight said she guessed that was part of the reason AJ had fallen for Rainbow after she came to Ponyville. Said that RD filled some sort of softer relationship. Makes enough sense, I guess. From what I heard some nights at AJ’s barn, the “forced abstinence” plan didn’t really work very well… heh. Though from what Twilight has told me, the relationship with Rainbow is a lot healthier and more stable than that with the previous stallion. Well that mystery is solved now. I’ll not bring it up to AJ, but I think she’ll be getting a big hug next time I see her.
Entry #150
Glad to wake up with the expected number of ponies this morning. Luna’s feeling better now, so I think we’ll spend the day just out and about in Canterlot. Go shopping, maybe see a concert if one happens to be in town, eat out, just have a good time with the citizens.
Entry #151
Oh wow… well, I totally forgot I never finished learning the Equestrian written language. Luna, thankfully, knew a knowledge spell and taught it to me in a moment, but it was awkward when I picked up the menu at the restaurant and couldn’t read a word of it. Even after I could read it, I still didn’t understand half the stuff on the menu – “Hay Bacon Strips” “Applejack Daniels” “Orange Daisykraut Butterstrauss.” I saw something with the word “sandwich” in it and decided to go with that. I know I’ve been here for so long, but I’ve mostly eaten fruit, vegetables and baked goods (there’s a fantastic bread maker in the Grand Market) Luna ordered a salad of some sort and Pip got what looked to be a veggie cheeseburger and some fries. When the waiter brought my plate, I admit, I was skeptical of what appeared to be a couple flowers in between two slices of bread. It was really tasty, though, sweet, and shockingly filling. Pip hungrily devoured his burger thing, and, unsurprisingly, Luna made a wonderfully elegant affair of consuming her salad. I’ll definitely be returning here – though Equestria’s fruit is absolutely fantastic, it would be nice to branch out a bit. Plus, Ponyworst sounds freakin’ delicious.
Entry #152
It’s fun to just walk around the Grand Market in Canterlot, there’s tons of stalls and little wagons selling everything from pots to hats to children’s toys. I also enjoy walking and writing, since I can hold my notebook and write with magic, it’s kind of like texting while walking except I can look where I’m going. I find it relaxing. I saw this little enchanted Pegasus toy, being sold from a stand by a light blue Unicorn mare. The toy kind of fluttered around and walked about – it seemed like a pet, almost. The mare in the stall said it could be charged using magic, because the toy has some sort of magic battery in it. It was on the expensive side, but I thought the thing was pretty cool, and I figured Pip would like it.